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Have you made someone something that is unappreciated

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I crocheted something for a co-worker and a week later it is still laying in a bag at work:( I am thinking about bringing it back home:grumpy Have you ever had something like this happen? I won't be making anything else for them:angry

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That really is bad. I so sorry for you. I don't know what I would do in that situation. I have been lucky thus far as to only make stuff for a few people who are mainly family or very close friends. And usually they request something.

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Yes, I have made something for others that was not appreciated. That's why I do very little crocheting for other people, except for charity. There are a couple people in my immediate family that I crochet for and that's it. It's just too frustrating and hurtful for me to give someone something and to be able to clearly see that they could care less about it. Anyway, that's my 2 cents.

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I would be upset and maybe ask when she/he was going to take it home?

I once made a baby blanket for a friend. She used it for a month or so and said she had lost it some where in her disaster of apartment. She has since moved to a house, said it was packed and lost again. She acted like it was no big deal. I was hurt that she didn't take better care of it or even care. The blanket took me a bit longer to make because of the design, which is probably why it upsets me the most.

Val

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I second the idea of giving to charity. At least that way your work will be greatly appreciated. I, too, only have a few people I make things for.

 

The funniest was the time that I made an afghan for some friends for Christmas. I purposely picked acrylic so that they wouldn't have an issue washing it (they have four cats that shed all over the place). A few weeks later, I went to their place, but didn't see the afghan out anywhere. I asked, and they whipped out a large shopping back from behind the sofa with the afghan inside. Yes, you guessed it...they were afraid of the cats messing it up! :rofl

 

Now that I've explained to them that they can machine wash it, they have it out all the time now.

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I think people who are not crocheters, or any crafter for that matter, have no idea how much time and expense goes into a project. I have over the years sent out numerous baby blankets and received no thank you. I've had to confirm through family members that it was received. One hopes that the item is used and appreciated.

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I agree with you that charity crochet is sometimes more satisfying than crocheting for people I know. I too have made many baby blankets and layettes for family members and they really don't appreciate it. I've also made afghans and shawls for them and finally stopped because I don't like feeling hurt when they don't use it. I figure that through charity crochet, at least someone who needs to be warm or comforted will enjoy something made by hand.

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My neighbor told me that she doesn't like anything knitted or crocheted.

:think I was ready to say " Well what the heck do you think your sweater that you are wearing is".. I just kept my mouth shut and shook my head..I guess that if you buy it that doesn't count as being knitted..:lol

Her hubbie saw the gloves and skaters hat that I made DGS and said he liked it.

I said to bad your wife doesn't like anything knitted.. He just looked at me funny and she walked away.

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My neighbor told me that she doesn't like anything knitted or crocheted.

:think I was ready to say " Well what the heck do you think your sweater that you are wearing is".. I just kept my mouth shut and shook my head..I guess that if you buy it that doesn't count as being knitted..:lol

Her hubbie saw the gloves and skaters hat that I made DGS and said he liked it.

I said to bad your wife doesn't like anything knitted.. He just looked at me funny and she walked away.

 

OMG...:rofl That is too priceless!

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I am lucky that the people in my life are usually too kind to let on if they don't appreciate something.

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It happens...the thing is though, as upsetting as it can be, I just chalk it up. I made something, gave it in good faith and if they didn't like it or respect it, or whatever, that's on them. Sure in the future I wouldn't make anything for them or I'd hesitate making something for them but although I've been tempted to take something back, I never have...except when my mom was angry at me and was going to throw out some dolls I had made her, my sister rescued them and returned them to me.

 

I think that we all have to remember that when we give of anything, while a thank you is nice and we want our gifts to be appreciated, we shouldn't expect anything back. If we do then we really aren't giving a gift at all. There should be no strings attached. Yes, it's good manners to give a thank you and we all do want to be appreciated.

 

If you find that your gift is still in the bag, go ASK the person if there's a problem. Put yourself in their shoes, I know I'd be struggling to give an answer that wouldn't hurt the giver's feelings, regardless of how I might have felt about the gift. Some people, although they may really like a gift, get so wrapped in their own life that they forget to take it home or put it away, or out on display. Still, since this bothers you, you have every right to broach the subject with them.

 

But only ask if you really are prepared for whatever answer they give you.

 

The times I have a hard time with gift receivers is when they obviously aren't impressed with my gift and they don't hide their feelings nor do they spare mine. It's okay if they don't like something, but they don't have to go out of their way to hurt mine...I was still trying to give them a gift. I don't have many times that I've made a mistake in giftgiving, and when I do I feel bad enough...but for the person to take it as a personal affront is overkill. I didn't purposely go out and buy or make a gift just to deliberately slap them in the face.

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My neighbor told me that she doesn't like anything knitted or crocheted.

:think I was ready to say " Well what the heck do you think your sweater that you are wearing is".. I just kept my mouth shut and shook my head..I guess that if you buy it that doesn't count as being knitted..:lol

Her hubbie saw the gloves and skaters hat that I made DGS and said he liked it.

I said to bad your wife doesn't like anything knitted.. He just looked at me funny and she walked away.

 

Actually I'll lay you even money that what she really meant was that she doesn't like anything hand or homemade. Almost like if she knows the person who made whatever, then it has no value to her.

 

I say this because I have a sister that basically like this. She once told me that she would never have anything crocheted in her house. Well, at the end of the day she does. But she has extremely high standards, which in a warped way, I've used to my advantage. I want my stuff to look as professional as possible most of the time. And making things with the idea of "would this pass my sister's standards" helped improve my skills...

 

The payoff in the end was when I was able to crochet her a pair of socks and a sweater for my nephew and she sincerely loved them. Just a year or so before her normal response would have been, "Well it's nice but..."

 

Part of me wishes that you had called her on her remark just to shed light on the fact that what she was wearing was knitted and asked what the difference was...to her she might have answered back that it was machine made or that she bought it or whatever...but it might have given her cause for pause to rethink her position.

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I just have to say one more thing...if you're only making things to give to charity because then people will appreciate your work, that's a sad commentary. Again, while it's nice to be appreciated, we shouldn't be doing charity work to get any kind of "payoff," not even appreciation. That's like only loving someone if they are only willing to love you back equally. Only when we give with no thought to ourselves will we be rewarded.

 

I'm in a situation right now where I'm dealing with a most unloving family member. Within my family I keep hearing about how because she lived her life she doesn't deserve any special treatment. For any who profess to believe in God, it's not about "deserving..." because if it was, none of us would get anything. Ever.

 

Don't expect appreciation or thank you, but when it's offered to you, accept it graciously.

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Just some background first: Before I retired I worked at a large office, and the whole office got involved in the cross town rivalry football game every year. It was called the Winnersville Classic and was a week of activities - door decorations, etc. On Friday we had a drawing for afghans I had made in the high school colors of each team. Each person voted for their team by ballot and the winner of the afghan for each team was drawn from the ballot box for that team. Over the years I made at least 20 afghans in each team's colors. I've had people tell me they gave the afghans to graduates, etc.

 

Anyway, (not shortening this story at all) a couple of months ago my sister and I were in Goodwill and I saw one of my afghans on the shelf. Being the curious (think nosy) soul that I am, I examined it for use, tales coming loose, etc. It had been used, I could tell, but was still in good condition. (I have been retired 5 years.) As I put it back on the shelf, the woman behind me asked if I was going to buy it. When I told her no, she picked it up and put it in her cart. The woman across the aisle said she had been looking at and wanted it, too. The first woman said her husband teaches at the high school and she wanted it for him; the other woman said her son will graduate this year and she wanted it for him. So, even though the original owner no longer had any use for that distinctive color afghan (black and gold) there were two others who wanted it. Afghans live on.

 

My original point was, if there was a point to this tale, is that if the original owner doesn't want your gift, take it home with you and find someone who will appreciate your efforts. There are lots of folks who will. I love hearing that people love and use the items that I have made and given to them. That's what makes the whole effort worthwhile for me.

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I crocheted something for a co-worker and a week later it is still laying in a bag at work:( I am thinking about bringing it back home:grumpy Have you ever had something like this happen? I won't be making anything else for them:angry
Oh, sure. Shrug it off and go on. No sense making myself miserable because someone else is rude.

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After this Christmas I have decided to cut down on the number of gift recipients of crocheted items. Granddaughter has yet to wear the hat and scarf I made her. I haven't seen dil wear hers yet either. Son says he's allergic to the acrylic yarn I made his out of (since when??) and other son has lost his scarf. Sooo, I'm really cutting back on what I'm crocheting and giving away.

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awwwwwwwwwwww well i know how you feel i made all those round ripples pictured in my blog for my big kids and their kids and well my Daughters Hubby took bailey's away from her said its too warm for her (what) and they stated christmas day they would put theirs on the back of their chairs they would look real nice there and handy to use when it was chili in the house well i was asking bailey when she was here if they did just that she said no they lied they are up in their closet along with mine now gunnar has his and he loves it go figure my other big kids... son and DIL come here to do laundry and i have yet to see theirs or their daughters i would think by now id at least see automns but no well needless to say i feel like crying i worked so hard on them sometimes up in the middle of the night just to get them done in time and now im thinking they will be lucky to get a hat and scarf next year i am so MAD and HURT Now cody also pictured in my blog loves his starghan and all his friends love it too so i did good there and MIL loves hers and SIL loves her butterfly wing shawl well ok this is long enough ive vented I feel a little better now but i still just want to cry

 

Janny

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Yes. My very own grandmother. I had made her a little coin purse -- one of the first first projects I had ever made. Thirty plus years later, after she had passed away, we were cleaning out her house and there was the coin purse, still in the box I had wrapped it in.

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Yes. A friend told me we were too old to be making each other gifts, so I made her a shawl. :lol It was the Doris Chan Blue Caracuo shawl in lime green, though, so I think it looked young enough. I also made her some face cloths to go with her Burt's Bees gift set for her birthday. I guess I'm stubborn! :rofl

 

I remember a thread awhile back talking about how a book called crocheters rebellious. I guess I qualify! http://www.crochetville.org/forum/showthread.php?t=89734&highlight=stubborn+impatient

 

I probably won't make her anything else - I just kind of had to make a point, you know? :D

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I want to share an incident that happened between Christmas and New years.

 

A woman from my building, who attended our Wed. evening quilting circle, died just before Christmas and so her Memorial service was spaced in that time. She was only 6 years older than I am but she was on the liver transplant list at one time so her death was not completely unexpected by her family.

 

She was a great crafter and in fact my last memory of her is when she was showing us a coat she had made for her dog using a mix of yarns and her large Nifty Knitter loom.

 

At her funeral, her family was still complaining about the "stupid" hats that she had made them. I have to admit that I hear those words in my head every time I make a hat anymore.

 

I am sooooo not giving my hats to anyone I know ever again.

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I've had several people not appreciate things I've made them but you know what? They are the same people that don't appreciate the store bought things we give them either.

 

This Christmas as I was working on the gifts I was making them (crocheted hats, scarves, wristwarmers) Dh expressed his concern because he was afraid that it would hurt my feelings because I spent so much time and effort on them and they would probably not like them.

 

I explained to him that I was going to go right ahead and make their gifts anyway. I enjoy crocheting so whether or not they liked the gift I spent time doing something I enjoyed and that is all that mattered. Afterall if I had bought them something I would have spent my time shopping for the perfect gift so at least with making them something I got to do something I love.

 

By the way, they didn't care about the gifts but I know they were great and I still enjoyed making them.

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That is sad. I don't know what I would do in that situation...but I do think that it's rude of her to leave it lying around at work, where she knows you will see it.

My MIL really loved that Martha Stewart poncho so I made it for her birthday one year. It took so much extra time because I had a 2-y/o and was due with my second daughter, I ended up taking it to the hospital so I could get it finished in time. Well she acted all excited when I gave it to her, but it has been sitting in her closet for the past 3 years. :( I mentioned it to my husband several times and he said maybe she wears it when I don't see her.

So this year for Christmas dh asked if I would make her a pineapple shawl, I was extremely hesitant but ended up making it. And she actually wears it all the time! So I guess that makes up for the first one. ;)

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I made a co-worker a hat and scarf set, because she wanted a set, and when I gave it to her, she says I might keep it, If I like it! I was like.....WHAT!

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