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crochetinginkansas

Have you made someone something that is unappreciated

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I once made something for my ex mother in law. I went out of my way to buy the pattern booklet and all the best yarns then spent the next few weeks working on the projects (a vase cover and matching bowl). When I gave the items to her for Mother's Day she looked disappointed and I never saw them again. Thank God she's my ex M-I-L!!!

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I reply: "Oh you clean houses? Will you come over and clean my house and I will supply the vacuum and mop and pail?":lol:lol:lol

 

:lol Great response!

 

My feelings are if you don't like it give it back. No reason needed. I'd rather have it then have it unappreciated or worse thrown out.

 

On another side, my mom proudly displays everything I have made. She still has a weaving I had to do in art class from 8th grade (25 some odd years ago) hanging in her kitchen. It still looks like I made it yesterday. She shows everyone that comes into the house what I've made (mostly cross stitch). Of course she's where my crafting gene came from.

 

Then a friend I use to work with...I made her a clown cross stitch blanket when she was pregnant. She collected clowns. She wouldn't use it (didn't want to ruin it), but displayed it in a lighted curio cabinet with her other clowns. She said when her son got married and was going to have a baby she was going to give him the "family heirloom". I was touched! :hug

 

:turtle:vheart

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:lol Great response!

 

My feelings are if you don't like it give it back. No reason needed. I'd rather have it then have it unappreciated or worse thrown out.

 

On another side, my mom proudly displays everything I have made. She still has a weaving I had to do in art class from 8th grade (25 some odd years ago) hanging in her kitchen. It still looks like I made it yesterday. She shows everyone that comes into the house what I've made (mostly cross stitch). Of course she's where my crafting gene came from.

 

Then a friend I use to work with...I made her a clown cross stitch blanket when she was pregnant. She collected clowns. She wouldn't use it (didn't want to ruin it), but displayed it in a lighted curio cabinet with her other clowns. She said when her son got married and was going to have a baby she was going to give him the "family heirloom". I was touched! :hug

 

:turtle:vheart

 

My mom is the same way. What a nice friend. I have given gifts to co-workers for christmas (which is posted on this thread) that they still have not said a word to me about. So this next Christmas I will just buy something that is bought and has no meaning from the heart, don't need :heartbroken again:(. My middle child had a blanket that is now a dirty rag. My Aunt gave it to him and she was happy it got used she repaired it many times. Justin would have a fit if it was washed, it would lose that smell :P so it was always discusting. We made many trips in the middle of the night to go back and get his blanket where he left it. (put him in car sleeping and I forgot it) He would be sitting by the door waiting for it :lol. Seriously he would get that blanket it would go to his nose, thumb in the mouth and his eyes would roll in the back of his head and he was gone for the night or nap:lol He would kill me if he knew I was telling this :devil(he is 24 now). So that is why every gift given from the heart should be used and not put away, it could be a memory that should never be forgoten.:hugHe doesnt know it but I still have it.:manyheart

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My mom is the same way. What a nice friend. I have given gifts to co-workers for christmas (which is posted on this thread) that they still have not said a word to me about. So this next Christmas I will just buy something that is bought and has no meaning from the heart, don't need :heartbroken again:(. My middle child had a blanket that is now a dirty rag. My Aunt gave it to him and she was happy it got used she repaired it many times. Justin would have a fit if it was washed, it would lose that smell :P so it was always discusting. We made many trips in the middle of the night to go back and get his blanket where he left it. (put him in car sleeping and I forgot it) He would be sitting by the door waiting for it :lol. Seriously he would get that blanket it would go to his nose, thumb in the mouth and his eyes would roll in the back of his head and he was gone for the night or nap:lol He would kill me if he knew I was telling this :devil(he is 24 now). So that is why every gift given from the heart should be used and not put away, it could be a memory that should never be forgoten.:hugHe doesnt know it but I still have it.:manyheart

 

 

I like that story...

 

jaye

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So far I don't think this has happened with me. The only case in which something I had made for someone wasn't used is with my aunt. I made a blanket for her, though she did request it and paid me to do so. She hasn't used it. She has it stored away somewhere, but it isn't because she doesn't want to use it. My cousin (her daughter), refuses to allow her to take it out and use it for some weird reasons that I couldn't even begin to explain at the moment (but I chalk up to jealousy). So for now, it sits in a closet waiting for its chance to come out and get appreciated.

 

My sister in law used the blanket I had made for her son quite a bit. It became his "blankie". It wasn't made in baby colors, but it wasn't very large. I don't know if he's still able to use it now. I gave her another blanket for her second child recently, and she wrapped him up in it immediately after I gave it to her. I have to admit, though, that I was worried she wouldn't appreciate what I had made for her and her children because she's so much better off than my husband and I are.

 

If I've made anything for others, it was either made with stashed yarn I wanted to bust anyway, so it didn't matter to me if they liked it or not, or I already knew they would appreciate it before I made it for them. No complaints so far!

 

This does remind me of something I read in "Stitch N Bitch: The knitter's handbook", though. There's a part in there about not giving your hand knit items to people you don't know will truly appreciate it because they don't realize how expensive the yarn is or how many long, hard hours you worked on it. But, if you give something you made to someone who also knits (or in this case, crochets... or both!), then they know how much work and love went into it because they've experienced it, so they'll love it and show it off proudly.

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I have learned that if I give something to someone, then it's theirs to do with as they please... It's difficult to accept sometimes... Especially if one of my creations ends up at a yard sale or in the dogs bed... But those who do not want to use something and keep it for special occasions also do not realize I DO want the item to be used... Yes.*sigh*I have to let the item go! It's theirs now....Why can't I convince myself of this?!

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Thank you all for sharing some of your "unappreciated gift" stories. Reading them made me feel better. My unappreciate gift was a lovely baby blanket that I made for one of my husband's fellow teachers who was pregent at the same time I was. I have not seen her daughter use it and I never recieved a thank you not for it, which hurt me deeply. Personally, I made sure that everygift got a thank you note for every gift my baby recieved (and my daughter was cleft affected and because of this spent about 13 hours a day eating for the first few months...my husband's friend's daughter was normal...so even with this challenge, I still made time to express my gratitude while she did not which upset me more). Also, if the person is in town, I try to arrange it so that my daughter uses their gift when they will see it (weather it is hand made or not) and if the person lives far away, I send a picture of my daughter with the handmade gifts especially(she recieved two beautiful quilts and a lovely knitted afgahn).

On a happier not, I love to crochet, and I try to make gifts with people in mind (for instance, I would NEVER make my mom a crocheted scarf, because she never wears scarfs). However, my mother in law wear scarves all the itme, and I noticed recently that the tag I had written a note on and attached to the scarf we gave her as part of a Christmas gift was proped up on her dresser. That made me smile :-). Also, I dropped by (unexpectedly) at a friend's house one day, and the blanket I had mader her infant son was laying onthe edge of the crib...obviously being used :-). I like to think of the happy moments, and try not to get too frustrated at the one bad experience.

 

My advice: I always include care instructions with crocheted gifts so that people know how to take care of the items because as many of you ahve noted some people are afraid to mess up lovely gifts.

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I've read all the stories here and my heart is sorrowed by how people can hurt those that take the time to make something special for others.

 

I am new to the craft and only started crocheting a few months ago. So I have not had the let down experience yet of giving something to someone that can care less about.

I want to make gifts for family and friends this year for Christmas but am skeptical that it would not be good enough. My husband is my cheerleader:cheer. He compliments me on the few projects that I have allready done. He thinks this would be a great gift for everyone this year. So I am going to give it a go. If it does not work out as I hope it does, then I will be back here to :cry.

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I DID remember that this happened to me once! My mother had to remind me, which I find odd. I must have been pretty ticked to have forgotten it. But now that I do remember it, I feel kinda cruddy over it all...

 

When I was still new to crocheting, I decided I wanted to make something for my cousin. He was living in a house with no heat besides space heaters, so I thought that he could use a nice blanket to wrap up in while he played video games or watched TV or something during chilly weather. So I picked out some black and camo colored yarn and made a checker square blanket for him. I took it to him, and he didn't even thank me for it. I decided that was just how guys are, so I left it with him.

 

My mom ended up moving into the little space he was living in for a short time, and she told me that he had not only left the blanket I had made especially for him behind when he'd moved out, but he'd been using it for a table cover! Not just any table cover, but a cover for a table in the shed that a bunch of dirty tools were laid on! :angry I spent HOURS making that blanket for him to use for himself to keep warm, NOT to get grease and gunk all over!

 

I felt very disrespected... :(

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Been there! With a family member. Our oldest gran'daughter was just going on and on about a hat that I had made one of her aunts ... said she'd love one in pink! So, as a surprise to her she got one. Called her to tell her, didn't come get it ... went to her house to drop it off ... didn't answer the door. Finally, mailed it ... no call to say, thanks, hate it ... NOTHING!

 

Way I look at it, she made my crocheting easier. She can't ask for anything again.

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Towards the end of last year our finances were pretty tight so I decided to crochet some of my Christmas gifts for family.

 

My daughter in laws parents always invite us over on Christmas Day for dinner so I made a hat and scarf in a lovely burnt orange colour, my DIL said her Mum didn't wear hats so I just took the scarf, she was delighted with it especially as she had just bought a new winter coat in chocolate brown and the scarf would look perfect with it.

 

My nephew and his wife invited us to their house in the evening for a buffet supper so I made her a scarf and a beret (everyone in Britain was wearing berets this winter) I used a black wool with little gold speckles that made it sparkle. When we arrived I gave her the present in the kitchen and she just said "Oh thanks" and never even opened it. I still don't know to this day if she liked it or not. :ohdear

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I think it's always difficult to accept a situation when someone doesn't appreciate a thoughtful gesture.. especially when you put a lot of time and thought into the gift.

 

I was reading over some of the responses... I definitely agree that sometimes you just have to give and expect nothing back. If I made something for a co-worker, I would probably be hurt if I saw my gift sitting at their desk for more than a week. I think anyone would be upset but chances are if you say anything to him/her, they're just going to take it home and it's going to sit in their closet collecting dust. Just walk away and remember to not give anymore of yourself to that particular person. :hug

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I've been on the receiving end of something someone made for me that was, in my mind, ghastly. Should you refuse a gift you find hideous or should you thank the person for it and hide it in the basement until you can re-gift it?

 

What would you prefer?

 

 

I agree with you Jillybean. Unfortunately, sometimes people don't pay enough attention to the person they are making a gift for. What colors do they like? Do they hate or love bright colors? If it's a garment, is it nice & soft & drapes nicely against the body or stiff & bulky? If it's for the home, is it going to clash with everything else in the room or house? Just taking a little time to check out some of these things can save you & the receiver a world of hurt feelings.

 

Over the years, I've received some gifts that certainly weren't to my taste, but I've always accepted them gracefully (I hope) & then they have disappeared until I knew the person was going to visit. Then I'd make sure to have them displayed. Maybe this is hypocritical, but I did appreciate the gifts, although I would have liked it better if they had noticed or asked my preferences. I like mostly neutral colors, browns, etc. My DD hates them & loves the brightest colors she can find, especially purples. We now take the others' tastes into consideration when we make each other gifts.

 

Don't give up on gift giving! Maybe you're giving gifts to the wrong person, someone who doesn't enjoy handmade presents. It really doesn't make them bad people....

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I only crochet or knit for people upon request. If they ask me, pick out their colors, and we come to agreement on the general pattern, I'll do it. It takes too much time to handmake gifts to have that much work go unappreciated. My husband's family almost loaded me down with requests a year ago--I've done hats and afghans for most of them! My MIL displays the dishcloths and the RR afghan I've made her, as does my mother.

 

My DH and DS just wanted plain double-crochet ghans in the colors of their choice, and they both use the heck out of theirs.

 

Bottom line, I know these things aren't everyone's idea of a good gift, and I can't assume someone likes them just because I put time into them. So choose carefully those you make gifts for.

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:thinkI think I have figured it out! When you give a store-bought gift it can be returned to the store and exchanged for something else. :angryThe recipient doesn't even have to let you know they have returned it. :devil If it's handmade...well... they cannot very well exchange it. :eek Perhaps cash inside a card is impersonal,:ohdear but for some people, it's better than a handmade gift.:oops

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That unfortunately is the problem these days, our culture has gotten too mterialistic. However, I feel due to the economic downturn that people are going to turn to a more simpler way of life even if they are forced into it. Afghans, hats, shawls are going to be welcome when people turn their heat lower to save on oil....Those who turned their nose up at homemade will sure wish they had them then!!

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I know some of the things I've made and given away have been unappreciated. Some gifts just worked out better than others. I've made a lot of gifts over the years.

 

One year I made dish clothes with the scrubbies built in for friends and co-workers for Chirstmas. I was curious how they worked, because I hadn't taken the time to make one for myself so I asked around.The results were interesting. 2 people told me that they wore them out and could they have another. 1 person told me she lived alone and didn't cook or do dishes--ok whatever. 1 person said she saved it to go with her camping gear for summer use on the boat. 1 person said it was too pretty to use, and that no one had ever made her anything like that before. It was so touching to hear her say that about a dish cloth. She got handmade gifts from then on.

 

I have another friend whose baby shower invitations used the line "handmade and hand-me-down gifts welcome". I have never seen so many beautiful handmade things. She has some very talented friends, and I felt great about making things for her baby. She was so appreciative of everything, and I know her daughter uses everything I made.

 

I never got any comments on the things I've made for my Dad and his new wife. I think I am done gift giving there.

 

But sometimes people surprise you. I made an afghan for my teenage brother for Christmas last year. I thought it was a nice blanket, but I didn't figure he'd appreciate it till he was older. At the rate he's going he'll wear it out before he moves away from home. Since I am trying to improve my relationship with him, I was really touched that he liked it so much.

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Yes, I've made so many things for friends and family that is so not appricated.

 

People thinks just because you made it that's not something you bought for them, that is't good enought. Peolpe don't think about the thought and love that you put in that peice, that you just made something instead of going out and buying them something.

 

I've stopped making them things. Friends and loved ones don't know the thought and time you've spent just picking out the right item to make for them. Or designing the peice just for them or there family.

 

But then you fine someone that appricates the fact that you thought of them, and made them something and you see it in there eyes that spark. That you still make things that you hope are appricate and used or looked at for years to come!!!!

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People thinks just because you made it that's not something you bought for them, that is't good enought. Peolpe don't think about the thought and love that you put in that peice, that you just made something instead of going out and buying them something.

 

I know, it's so ridiculous!

 

Actually, it's not only handmade items...Last year, I went into a lamp shop to find a nice lamp for someone for Christmas. As the owner was ringing my purchase up, I asked if she'd had a lot of business, it being the holidays and all. She said no! According to her, she was losing business to all the people who want to give electronics for Christmas...no one appreciates a nice household item anymore (unless you can watch it, talk into it, or text with it).

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So far I have been fortunate that my gifts have been well received.

 

I have come to realize that far too many people don't even think about sending thank you notes. My nephew's wife never sent wedding shower or wedding thank you notes or even baby shower thank you notes!! I had crocheted a blanket for the baby shower but mostly as a way to get rid of some really ugly yarn. I don't know if it has been used, but I no longer have to look at that yarn, either.

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My best friend bugged me for months about making her an United States Flag afghan. I made one for her for Christmas two years ago. It is still laying in a ball, covered in dust underneath the table in the dining room. I haven't made anything else for her.

 

I spent 30 hours on that afghan because she wanted it so badly. 30 hours that could have been spent making something for someone who would use and appreciate the afghan. It's like a slap in the face. Since, she has asked me to make various things for her and I haven't made one. If she ever asks why, I'll tell her.

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Everyone who crafts and gives those crafts as gifts has similar stories. It's disappointing but I try to shrug it off. I enjoyed making it and that will have to be my "reward".

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Last Christmas I made coworkers the half moon shawl from lion brand and as I told you in an earlier post never heard a word whether they liked it or not.(they picked it out and the colors) Well one coworker brought it back to school and it has been sitting on a stool in the bathroom. I have no idea why and I will not ask. I get to work first so I looked at it to see if it unraveled some place or if there was something wrong with it. I saw nothing. Its been there since August. So this year they get nothing hand made from me. I already found purses that I know they will like at target on sale so I am done with them and if I hear nothing about them I am done with gifts. Its very stressful for me anyway. Last year my family did not exchange gifts at all and it was the most relaxing Christmas ever.There are no little one here. So we are doing nothing again this year. It might sound bad but it worked for us.

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One Christmas I made a bath set of crocheted items for a coworker that I thought was a good friend.. The yarn was hard to use when making the loofah and back scratcher, etc. but I was so proud of how everything turned out. I put them in a basket and left it on her desk with a card. I never heard anything from her so I finally asked if she got it and she just said "yes". I hate to admit it but that's the last time I got her something.

 

We can't please everybody.

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YES!! :angry I made a baby blanket for my brother in law and his new wife when they were expecting their baby girl (their first together). I gave it to them when his wife was about 7 months along and we saw them about 4 weeks after the baby was born and it was still on the dashboard of their van!! :eek

 

I was completely hot about the whole deal, especially considering that the whole time we were visiting they kept talking about how the baby loved to be bundled up, no matter how warm it was (she was born in late June, this was in July). :rant

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