Have you made someone something that is unappreciated

[The_Virginia_Hooker]

This is why i think long and hard before i make something as a personal gift. If someone asks me, i'll make something, for charity, oh definitely, if i think someone has an appreciation for handmade things, etc.

 

Actually, it's been my experience that if someone doesn't have any appreciation for ANY of their own stuff (luckily this is RARE), odds are they won't see whatever i make as something to appreciate, and i take that into consideration when deciding to make something for someone

[byrdluv]

I think the answer for us crochet-a-holics- making things for charity? Then i got to thinking, buy the ones i see at the thrift store and donate them to charity too....

[faedragon]

I love to crochet. I make things and give them for gifts. But, if someone doesn't like something I've made , I don't get offended, why should I? If I bought something as a gift and gave it to someone and they did not like it, I would not be offended. Just because I choose to make a gift instead of buying it, does not oblige the recepiant to like it any better than any other gift.Some gifts are liked, some are not, but once it leaves my hands, it is theirs to like , to love, or to put away and never look at again. Maybe I'm more pragmatic then most.

[Kimblee]

I mostly crochet to sell and for stress relief.

 

And i've made several things that were not appreciated. I made a baby blanket for a cousin's baby, and she threw it away... then had the nerve a month later to ask em to make a new one because her daughter "really likes the one her aunt made"

 

I went off on her.... its was juvinile, but fun.

[Ladykats]

Not for nothing, My sister sews beautiful clothing. She designs a lot of her own stuff. And my DD has always loved cooking and wants to be a chef. A couple of years ago, my sister made for my DD a chef's wrap for Christmas. My DD thanked her, but didn't show the attention to the cooking apparel that my sister expected. Earlier this year, my sister mentioned that she wasn't going to make gifts for people because her hard work was not appreciated. Fast forward to present day, My DD is in college studying to be a chef. and everyday she wears her Aunt Bek's creation. Luckily, my nephew (Bek's son ) is visiting me and told his Mother that my DD really does wear the wrap everyday. Better yet, DD comes home the other day and her cooking teacher wanted to know where she got the wrap, as it was perfect for chef's with long hair, She proudly announced her Aunt had made it for her. I made a point of taking a picture of my daughter wearing the wrap and emailed to my sister. Her work is to good for her to feel that way. I understand that not everyone will appreciate the things that we make, and I also understand that we don't always get the chance to see the person gifted with homemade items use them as well. My DD was saving the wrap for just the right time to use the gift my sister had made her.

My Mother was given hand embroidery table setting for 12 when she was married. They went into her Hope Chest and we never used them in all her years. They are still in the Hope Chest that my middle sister received. I know my Mother loved the gift, I believe was made my her Aunt, but she didn't want anything to happen to them. One lady mentioned a coin purse she had made her Grandmother that was still in the box some 30 years later. I don't think that was because your Grandmother didn't like the gift.. It was more in keeping a piece of you close to her.

[PBLKNP]

I mostly crochet to sell and for stress relief.

 

And i've made several things that were not appreciated. I made a baby blanket for a cousin's baby, and she threw it away... then had the nerve a month later to ask em to make a new one because her daughter "really likes the one her aunt made"

 

I went off on her.... its was juvinile, but fun.

 

In the words of one of my funnier co-workers -- "OH, MY FRICKIN GOD!!!"

 

I would have been appalled, too!

[Kimblee]

In the words of one of my funnier co-workers -- "OH, MY FRICKIN GOD!!!"

 

I would have been appalled, too!

 

Plus, the family guilts me for not "sharing" my "gift" with everyone.

 

I try to ignore it, but it makes me sad.

[jillybean]

I've been on the receiving end of something someone made for me that was, in my mind, ghastly. Should you refuse a gift you find hideous or should you thank the person for it and hide it in the basement until you can re-gift it?

 

What would you prefer?

[clevelandnaps]

This is something that worries me everytime I begin a new project.

 

I love giving gifts to the people I care about, and crocheting helps us to save money rather than buying gifts. I do worry that people won't like what I make them, or that it won't be good enough.

 

I am still learning, and my projects are not perfect, but I try hard. Thus far everyone has been really supportive of me and the whole process.

 

Both of my grandmothers crocheted, so I have memories of their afghans and dolls, and so does everyone else. My niece's step-grandma (absolutely no relation to me) also crochets. My mom does it occasionally. I found out that my husband's aunt not only knits, but makes and dyes her own wool yarn. So now I worry about giving something to someone that someone else could make better.

 

Ugh. I just worry a lot. My little sister is an amazing artist, she goes to art school and gets crazy scholarships and gets into summer programs with much more experienced artists where only 1 student from her whole school gets chosen....that sort of thing. We are all super proud of her, and everyone in the family loves to get something Ally makes. So I feel strange attempting something artistic myself, when it was always her thing.

 

The only thing anyone said to me was my MIL, who handed me one of those dishtowel hanger things and told me that I should try to copy it so that I could make something useful.

 

I guess scarves aren't useful?

[PBLKNP]

I find one way around this is to make the recipient part of the process.

 

First of all, find out if they WANT you to make anything -- some people are just as happy with a gift certificate to Home Depot. We crocheters and other crafters don't quite understand the concept of any present that doesn't involve yarn or other raw materials, but to each his/her own.

 

However, if the answer is YES, Whip out your pattern books and have them pick out something they'd like. Take them shopping for the yarn -- which will give them a new appreciation of the fact that you're not just being "el cheapo" by making them something, rather than "buying" something.

 

That way, you're making them something they'll like.

[flyinghigh]

I made my one of my best friends a scarf for our secret santa thing we do every christmas. I even went so far as to called her mom and ask about the new coat she was getting, just to I could match the colors. Turns out, I matched them almost perfectly. I put a lot of work into this scarf and was pretty proud of it.

 

And of course she didn't look as trilled as I had hoped when she opened it. And the one time I saw her this winter, she wasn't even wearing it. I suppose she is another of those friends who just has high standards.

 

I like to give things, but its a little hard to see them unappreciated. Oh well I guess. That's life I suppose.

[hookdonU]

I can honestly say that I have been lucky enough not to have that happen but I feel for those it has happened to. I would ask the person if they intend to use the item and if not, take it back since you put the time and effort into it.

[PBLKNP]

I can honestly say that I have been lucky enough not to have that happen but I feel for those it has happened to. I would ask the person if they intend to use the item and if not, take it back since you put the time and effort into it.

 

I've heard of someone doing just that. She had knit a very intricate lace shawl for her future daughter-in-law for a bridal shower present. The shawl was a very difficult pattern that took her SIX MONTHS to knit. The bride-to-be opened the box and exclaimed, "What am I supposed to do with this???"

 

The woman grabbed it back and eventually gave it to someone else...I think she found an alternate present for the bride, but I sure wouldn't blame her if she didn't bother.

[kazily]

Having made things for people that weren't as well received as they were intended, I am very careful now what I make for someone & who I will make a gift for.

 

Rule -1 - some people equate "handmade" with "below standard". We know that's not true but NEVER crochet something for them. You can tell when you show them things you've made for yourself or another person. This same person would also drop their jaw if they knew how much you spent on yarn for a afghan & how many hrs it took to make it but the same person would say "that's a great deal!" at an afghan at a craft sale priced at $100.

 

2nd- never crochet for someone that is not a gracious & polite person all the other time you spend with them. It saves a lot of heartache because even if they don't particularly like the gift, they will not hurt your feelings by leaving it in a bag at work, hidden behind the sofa, in a closet or seen in a box going to goodwill. They will truly appreciate the care & love that you put into the gift, even if it's not their cup of tea. So what if I don't care for a handmade ornament I received a few yrs ago. It still hangs on my tree every yr. The friend that made it put their love into it. And when they visit they can see that I cherish THEM, by displaying their gift.

 

Sometimes I crochet a gift anyway without knowing for sure how a person will receive it, such as for someone I don't know well enough but when I do that it would be something I enjoyed making & wasn't a large project. If it's not appreciated, well, of course I'd be disappointed but I have still enjoyed the act of giving.

[flyinghigh]

I've heard of someone doing just that. She had knit a very intricate lace shawl for her future daughter-in-law for a bridal shower present. The shawl was a very difficult pattern that took her SIX MONTHS to knit. The bride-to-be opened the box and exclaimed, "What am I supposed to do with this???"

 

The woman grabbed it back and eventually gave it to someone else...I think she found an alternate present for the bride, but I sure wouldn't blame her if she didn't bother.

 

That's awesome that the woman grabbed it back. I'm glad she protected her work and found someone who would actually want to use it and appreciate it.

[shannie_nae]

I made a christening dress for a co-worker a few years ago. I asked her when she was about 6 months along if she would want one. She seemed excited so I made it. It was the heirloom christening dress from cpc made in size 20 thread. She saw me working on it during every break and told me how great it looked. When the baby was finally born I gave it to her and said that I would like a picture of the baby wearing the dress. She seemed so happy. About a year later I asked how everything went only to be told that the dress was never used. My jaw hit the floor, I was speechless. I don't know what happened to the dress. I can only hope she gave it to someone else who would use it instead of just sitting in a box never to be seen again. I wish she would have given it back if she didn't want to use it then I could have given it to someone who would. I guess we have all had experiences like this.

[kazily]

I've heard of someone doing just that. She had knit a very intricate lace shawl for her future daughter-in-law for a bridal shower present. The shawl was a very difficult pattern that took her SIX MONTHS to knit. The bride-to-be opened the box and exclaimed, "What am I supposed to do with this???"

 

The woman grabbed it back and eventually gave it to someone else...I think she found an alternate present for the bride, but I sure wouldn't blame her if she didn't bother.

 

I feel very sorry for the woman that has a daughter in law that would act like that at her bridal shower. Obviously the bride to be has no manners. That's so funny that she took it back. I think I'd substitute a Miss Manners book.

[boksie]

Some people just don't have a clue. If these crochet snobs were to buy a handmade item in a store it would very possibly be made in a sweatshop overseas! So with our own "sweatshop labor" and a dose of love thrown in it is very frustrating to have our beautiful handmade gifts unappreciated.

[JUNO]

Many years ago now, I knitted a very nice jumper for my future father in law. I gave it to him and thought that he liked it. Imagine my disappointment, when going to the local pub a few weeks later, I saw another man wearing it. Apparently, my future father in law had given it away to someone about the same size as him. I can still remember how hurt I felt, even now.

[Ninn]

I've had this happen just recently. I put hours and hours of work into a gorgeous baby dress for my daughter's sister in law. Even made a matching bonnet. Now, this girl went absolutely insane over a $300 infant bath tub, but couldn't even smile at the $100 dress and bonnet I made for her. We're talking a double layer skirt, hand stitched trims, designer buttons on the front, matching bonnet with ribbon laces, etc.

 

My own daughter asked me for around a dozen dresses after seeing that one finished. Half the girls at the shower were green with jealousy because her daughter has a one of a kind dress. I got a bunch of orders.

 

It still hurt that I had spent so much time and energy, picked up yarn in the colors she loves and worked so hard on that blasted dress. My daughter is due before she is and I put off her gift to finish one that was not appreciated.

 

Oh well. It's her loss. It hurt my feelings, but that dress will look great at Christmas, when it finally fits her daughter. (her grammy will be making sure I get a pic of her in it.......lol) And I drummed up a ton of business in that 15 minutes. Coulda been worse, I guess.

[TurtleLvr]

I made my brother a beautiful German Shepherd cross stitch (he was K-9 at the time) and a Policeman's Prayer cross stitch. He loved it, actually shed a tear, but my sil wouldn't allow it in the main living area. It was stuck down in the basement. I wanted it back, but my bro wouldn't let me. I should have known this is the same sil that I made a cross stitch bib for (when she was pregnant with my neice) and never used it. She said she didn't want to ruin it. ITS MADE FROM COTTON! Wash it if it gets dirty!

 

I only make stuff for people who I think will appreciate it. If they don't they get NOTHING ever again.

[one more row]

Turtle Lover...Same thing happened to me.I made a cross stitch for my brother and SIL for the birth of their twins, that took me forever to do only to have it hang in their dreary basement:angry...now im picky about who I give my work to. i love charities. It is the right thing to do to give from heart to heart but it is good to know that the item is going to go where it is needed or wanted...I do portraits.And my favorite is "Oh you draw? Can you do a painting of my (dog, horse, bird) and I will pay you for your frame and canvas." I reply: "Oh you clean houses? Will you come over and clean my house and I will supply the vacuum and mop and pail?":lol:lol:lol

[elizabethrose]

Get this....one time I actually gave my friend pics of patterns to choose from so she would have something she liked for her year old boy. She picked a cute little sweater and pants that looks like a tuxedo. When I gave it to her and put it on her bed, her grown daughter smirked at it. The child never wore it, nor was it ever mentioned again. It was well executed, and SHE picked out the pattern. Made me sick. I am now very, very careful who I make things for because even if they like it, some people are so insecure they will change their opinion if someone else looks down on it. Would someone please tell me what is it about handmade stuff that is looked down on????? Are there other cultures where handmade items are valued above mass-produced items? Something tells me this has to do with our consumer-driven culture. (There are no ads in magazines or on T.V. for handmade things, so they must be inferior.) What do you think?

[crochetlady75166]

I've made birthday, Christmas and "just because" gifts for my daughters and their children. A couple of years ago, I made a baby boy shirt with cabling and matching shorts for my youngest grandson and gave it to my baby daughter. To this day, I don't think he's ever worn it. I also made her a beautiful teal blue scarf of crochet thread with beading--the prettiest scarf I've ever made--and she's never worn it.

 

My oldest daughter received a basket of pretty washcloths and mitts--and she's never used it. I also made her a gorgeous black lacy poncho and a cute vest for Christmas a couple of years ago. Not sure if she's ever worn them. They were really CUTE! But since they were gifts, I won't ask for them back. If she doesn't want them, I'd wear them myself!

 

I just wonder if people really appreciate the time, effort, materials and love that go into making gifts especially for them... hmm... but that won't stop me from making them. Only I'll make 'em and enjoy them myself

[crocheting4mygirls]

Last year, I crocheted teachers' appreciation gifts. I made a Seraphina shawl for the teacher, hats and one-skein scarves for the aides and the room parent. Everybody else appreciated their gifts, except for the teacher who didn't say anything. I asked her weeks later if she liked the shawl and she said she had to hide it from her daughter who wanted it. I guess she likes it now.