You know you've been crocheting too long when...

[ChrisCrossCrafts]

• You need to rent or buy a separate dwelling just for your yarn, patterns, etc.
  
• Your family tiptoes around and is quiet when you are "counting" (lest they end up killed outright for making you lose your stitch count)
  
• Herrschner’s, Annie's Attic, Mary Maxim, and the Needlecraft Shoppe all know you by first name only and have memorized your credit card details
  
• You cannot go through metal detectors because you have so many hooks stashed everywhere in your luggage, your purse, etc. (OH MY GOSH THEY NAILED ME)
  
• Strangers mail yarn and unfinished projects to you without asking first.
  
• Caron and Lion Brand are fighting over which one of them can hire you as "Poster Crocheter" in their new ad campaign.
  
• Your computer's memory is at maximum due to the number of websites for crochet that you have bookmarked as favorites.
  
• Your email inbox exploded due to sheer volume of Internet crochet list email.
  
• You know more people by their email address than their actual names.
  
• You win an award in mIRC for staying online the longest in a crochet chat room
  
• You have more tools than your husband.
  
• A.C. Moore, Michael's, and Hobby Lobby give you Frequent Customer discounts.
  
• Your local yarn storeowner knows exactly what skein of yarn you just ran out of the moment you show up in their parking lot. They also know what row you should be on by now.
  
• You own more yarn by weight than you do furniture or motor vehicles.
  
• The IRS and state tax authorities allow you to declare your yarn, pattern, hooks, etc. as dependents on your tax returns.
  
• Someone mentions UFOs, you automatically think of Un Finished Objects (as in unfinished crochet projects) rather than extraterrestrial transports.
  
• You have more yarn in your closets, storage lockers, garage, etc. than Herrschner’s main warehouse.
  
• You have to explain to non-crafters the difference between crochet and knitting more times than you can count.
  
• You can crochet perfectly while fast asleep.
  
• Your family decides they had enough of your hoarding and hooking. They have you kidnapped and deprogrammed.
  
• You cannot find your family amongst all the boxes and bins of yarn and patterns around your home.
  
• Your family files a class action suit charging the yarn manufacturers, pattern publishers, etc. for causing you to abandon them (alienation of affections).
  
• Strange men call and show up, having heard a "hooker" is available at this address.
  
• The FDA and DEA now declare yarn and patterns an illicit substance because of you. They find you and throw away the key.
  
• You write in abbreviations only, thanks to reading patterns for too long.
  
• Instead of counting sheep to sleep, you count stitches.
  
• You intrigue Martha Stewart by having every item in your house crocheted, including your furniture. You make her jealous because she didn't think of this first.
  
• Even when they take your yarn and thread away in hopes of curing your affliction, you grab anything; dental floss, wire, packaging twine, weeds, tinsel, etc. and start crocheting with it instead.
  
• Everyone you know has something you crocheted but in a strange color combination because they failed to specify a color preference, and you had so much scrap yarn to use up.
  
• It was time to tent your house to kill termites, etc. you crocheted the tent from plastic grocery bags cut into strips.
  
• You taught one of your children to crochet a chain but did not tell them how to finish off; you now have a 5-mile chain "string" lying about.
  
• You realize you practice a craft where the phrase "the end is near" actually has a positive meaning (your project is nearly finished.
  
• You chastise people who call a crochet hook a "needle".
  
• You got fed up with the unhelpful and rude craft store clerk at your local yarn store and crocheted her to her cash register in the middle of the night, stuffing a ball of yarn in her mouth so she wouldn't yell out.
  
• You frequently get charged with carrying concealed weapons without a permit because you carry crochet hooks around.
  
• You determine that you can eat Cheeto's and crochet at the same time by using toothpicks to pick up the Cheeto’s so they don't stain your fingers.
  
• You get a patent on how to crochet with chocolate. You also develop a chocolate that cannot melt and stain your yarn.
  
• You stacked your yarn from end to end, it would stretch from here to the Sun (96 million miles or so)
  
• You crochet during dental treatment.
  
• You win a fashion award for crocheting people's hair into interesting hairdos.
  
• You win the lottery and spend the whole darn thing to buy Lion Brand Yarns' stock, a sheep farm in New Zealand, and spinning lessons.
  

[Sugarcoatedlies]

LOL great list

 

-You can crochet perfectly while fast asleep.

 

haha i did this once!

i fell asleep with a hat i was making and it was finished when i woke up xD

[Momcrochets]

Thanks for the smiles!

[Nonie]

Cute! Cute! :clap:clap

Nonie

http://noniesblankets.com.

[Granny Square]

I want to know where to get that chocolate...

 

Guilty on many counts!

[PBLKNP]

You know you've been crocheting too long when a coworker, who doesn't speak very good English, asks you, "What is this you are talking about...the yarn?" and you, in response, are able to open your desk drawer and pull out a skein to show her.

[frogprincess]

Very cute but true!

I need a big sign to put up that reads "Not while mommy is counting. Come back later." Then my boys may get the hint. :lol

[Lubba_my_kiddos]

:laughroll:laughroll:laughrollAWESOME! I am guilty of Alot of these!

[Zerades]

You know you've been crocheting too long when....

your husband is no longer asking what you are knitting next when you are actually crocheting, but has realized that you are crocheting and not knitting AND can tell the difference!!!

(happend for us )

[The_Virginia_Hooker]

You know you're crocheting too long when it's a mini-disaster if you brought your needs-to-be-done-in-a-week project for a two-hours-just-one-way cartrip, and can't FIND the hook because you remember you LEFT the hook on the endtable while you were examining the project to check for missed stitches. a Total of FOUR HOURS of good quality crochet time, and i blew it. Where's that self-kicking smiley?

 

(I did that yesterday, we were on our way to Bass Pro Shop in Richmond, had everything for my proect BUT the hook, i was SO annoyed, not nearly as annoyed until i asked b/f if he'd stop at the Michael's that was 1/2 mile away from where we ate lunch at to get another hook, but NOOOOOOO he wouldn't.)

[lpgeorge123]

This is great! Just last week I was working on my research project, and I had several files on my computer labeled "dc." I started to think "double crochet" instead of "dark current," which is what they actually stood for.

[ladybug33]

You know you're crocheting too long when it's a mini-disaster if you brought your needs-to-be-done-in-a-week project for a two-hours-just-one-way cartrip, and can't FIND the hook because you remember you LEFT the hook on the endtable while you were examining the project to check for missed stitches. a Total of FOUR HOURS of good quality crochet time, and i blew it. Where's that self-kicking smiley?

 

(I did that yesterday, we were on our way to Bass Pro Shop in Richmond, had everything for my proect BUT the hook, i was SO annoyed, not nearly as annoyed until i asked b/f if he'd stop at the Michael's that was 1/2 mile away from where we ate lunch at to get another hook, but NOOOOOOO he wouldn't.)

 

 

Now that was just mean!!!........

[karenj]

Now that was just mean!!!........

 

My DH runs screaming when I say I just need to run into Joann's "for a minute"! I got him to stand in line for me a few weeks ago by promising it would cut the time in half. I don't think he will fall for that again.

[ratdog]

Cute list!

Crocheting while asllep is OK, it's the one's who crochet while driving (or-see dear abby- flying a plane) that scare me the most!

 

You know you have been crocheting too long when you crochet a pink motorcycle cover ...

[lpgeorge123]

You know you have been crocheting too long when you crochet a pink motorcycle cover ...

 

Haha wasn't that just odd? There has to be some sort of story behind that. Why would anyone want to do that just for the heck of it?

 

For anyone who missed out on seeing that: http://www.crochetville.org/forum/showthread.php?t=87950&highlight=motorcycle

[tryptikangel]

**** I may be in trouble... I read this to hubby and he started laughing saying I do some of that already! Namely the counting stitches falling asleep and explaining the difference between crochet and knitting on a regular basis. lol

[ratdog]

I am learning that I am an AMATURE compared to the rest of you ladies and gentlemen. I guess this board is giving me a WARNING / preview of coming attractions about how bad things can get.

[coolhockeymom]

You know you have been crocheting too long when you fight with your kids about moving your hook only to give up and go to the store and buy a new one and then have the lady behind you in line say you know you have a knitting hook in your hair which then leads to your six year old "yelling and saying my mommy doesn't knit she crochets you know the one you do with one hook and not two sticks"

 

happened to me a while back and I still laugh

[allieliz]

Too funny! I count myself as hardcore. You know you've been crocheting too long when you have 10 times more really cute scarf and hat sets than you have children to wear them. (and you're still looking for patterns)

[crochetlady2012]

You know you've been crocheting when you are able to explain to your husband in terms that he will be able to understand what you are telling him.

[Zhaylin Black]

Hey now!  I've been crocheting for almost 20 years or so, and I still call a hook a needle on occasion

 

You know you've been crocheting too much when not only do you count stitches to fall asleep, but you actually dream about searching/shopping for elusive colors, making plarn, and working on projects

[Gingerbread Girl]

You know you've been crocheting too much when not only do you count stitches to fall asleep, but you actually dream about searching/shopping for elusive colors, making plarn, and working on projects

 

I have dreamt about going yarn shopping before. More than once. So sad when that happens and you wake up thinking you have nice, pretty new yarn waiting to be used and realize... nope, your stash is the same as it was yesterday. LOL 

[Ellie 13]

When you go for a family visit and they ask "What are you crocheting now" not "How have you been".

Ellie 13

[TanyaR]

 

Very cute post. I put my snacks in my son's sippy cups (without lids) and just pour them into my mouth.

• You determine that you can eat Cheeto's and crochet at the same time by using toothpicks to pick up the Cheeto’s so they don't stain your fingers.
• You get a patent on how to crochet with chocolate. You also develop a chocolate that cannot melt and stain your yarn.
•  

[ocelotito]

When I close my eyes to go to sleep, I start crochetting in my mind. I'm not making this up!