Hindsight's 20/20?

[Mommy2Max]

There have been several posts on here lately about making crocheted gifts for people who don't appreciate them.

 

My sister-in-law is pregnant with her second child. My husband and I had just started dating when she had her first, so I wasn't really in the picture then. I am debating whether or not to make her a baby blanket for the new baby.

 

My SIL and I aren't particularly close, and I've never given one of my crocheted pieces to anyone from my husband's family, so I'm not really sure how this will be received, if she'll really love it and be touched by it, or just throw it in the back of a closet and forget about it. And my husband is no help, he just says for me to do what I want to do.

 

So my question is this: how do you decide whether you should make a gift for someone or not? How do you know if someone will appreciate the time/effort you put into a crocheted gift? For those who have made a gift that was taken for granted, were there any clues that made you think, "I KNEW I shouldn't have made that for them!"

[sfgwife]

just ask her if she would like a handmade blanket for the baby and you should be able to tell from her reaction of you asking how she owuld take one as a gift.

 

If she hesitates when replying to you then I wouldn't do it but it she is all gushy to you then yeo she would love it.

[RoseRed]

I would make it anyway. Baby blankets are small and quick anyway. You can make really pretty ones that use simple, quick stitches. If it gets tossed in the closet - then you know better for the future - if it's appreciated then I'd make the next one even better.

 

Family's family - we just have to make the best of it.

[darski]

I agree with Rosered. I would make a pretty blanket - find a quick but pretty stitch and border it nicely.

 

If you go into it with no expectations, you won't be hurt if it doesn't work out. But you will know that you did your part for the new little one

[Sofia]

I will come in on the side of making the gift. Especially a gift for a baby... If mom doesn't like it or use it, you still have the satisfaction of knowing you spent time making something special for a baby. Kind of the each stitch carries a lovely thought.

I guess I make gifts for others for my satisfaction.

[Crocus58]

The only way to know if it will be appreciated is to go ahead and make it. Baby blankets are small and can be made quickly. If you really want to test the waters, start with a cap and booties set. Give these to her before the baby is born and if the loves them, make her a matching blankie. If her reception is lukewarm, get her a card to babygap!

[Vickietoria]

Those are good ideas given by others. I'd say to make it. If you're giving it to her at a shower, then if she's not thrilled with it at first, perhaps someone else will get gushy about it, and then she will realize how much value it really has, and love it. Also, if it's at a party, perhaps someone else in the family would like to learn to crochet, and there you go, you've got a chance to meet more of the family. Besides, hat/onsie outfits or blankets don't take too long, and really, chances are she'll love it. Speaking as a Mom of a 10 month old, you use every blanket you get, especially if you have a particularly messy baby hehe.

Hope this helps!

Victoria

[Empress Busy Bee]

I mostly decide by knowing the person beforehand and what they will or won't like. I try to make something they will like, not what I like or think they should have.

If for some reason, like with your sister-in-law, I don't know them; I listen to my gut. If I really want to make it for the sake of making it, I do then I let it go and never give it another thought if they liked it or not.

I ask a lot, too. I'd ask her if I were you.

Good luck with it.

[craftconnie1]

I'd make it....it might open the door to you and your SIL being really good friends, and besides every baby deserves a blankie of their very own. You're not making the blanket for the Mom, you're making it for the baby. Time will tell whether or not there are any more gifts to be made.

[kkms]

when i was pregnant with my first i had always wanted a homemade blanket and at the time i did not crochet, by the time i had my second i had started crocheting and blankets were the only thing i made.

i would make the blanket, its the thought that counts! and it might make you feel better that you made something for the baby instead of buying. if your blanket is not received well or used poorly you will then know not to make anything else for them.

hope this helps.

[Mommy2Max]

Thanks for the suggestions you guys! I am going to look for a simple pattern at CPC and go ahead and make it. I'm excited about getting a new niece and even if my SIL uses it as a burp rag, it will still have come in handy, right???

 

Off to CPC.....

[Addey]

I'd go ahead and make the blanket, but I'd ask as well. If your SIL doesn't want the blanket, there are plenty of children that Project Linus and others help that would LOVE a blankie.

Also, I like the idea of making a hat and bootie set first to 'test the waters' so to say. They're small, quick and you can't have too many.

[kmadel]

My only suggestion would be to only make it if you know you can let it slide if she doesn't like it. My mom has made things for people in our family who she isn't very close to and who didn't appreciate it at all and its left a very sore spot in her where they are concerned.

The thing with that situation though was that my mom spent a LOT of time on very intricate baby sweaters, so if you stick to quick, simple blanket patterns & don't get caught up in how you SIL 'should' react, you'll be fine! Then, if she gushes, you'll know you can make more for her in the future & you can find out who else in you family might like something handmade as well!

[Tampa Doll]

I understand your delima. When I am making something for someone, I do not think about it. I look at it just as a project. My heart and sole(unless I know the person real well) do not go into the project. Once it is packed and sent, it is off my mind.

I say make it and she may surprise you.

[comfort80]

the only people i usually make gifts for are people who have admired my work, or baby blankets for shower gifts. money has always been a thorn in my side, and i've found its cheaper (and more from the heart) for me to make a baby blanket they will get use out of, than for me to go out and spend 20-30 dollars on an outfit that a baby is lucky to wear a handful of times before growing out of it, or ruining it.

[Me&P]

Personally, I'd ask her.

 

"Hey, I was thinking about making a blanket for the baby. What colors are the nursery?"

 

If she seems put off and seems like she'd hate it - don't make it and give her something else. If she asks, you can always say you ran out of time (and if she asks b/c she really wanted one, tell her you'll have it done soon!).

[Beaglelady]

hmm..makes me think of this. My 2 great nephews I made them each a small blanket. When the oldest, now 4, was born at 10 lb., big head that none of the hats would fit, I crocheted one. Mom was so happy that a hat actually fit. A little later I made a sweater. Well, a few weeks ago, My nephew dropped off 4 bags full of infant clothes for DD new son.

Picked through the hats - there's the one I crocheted. Just looking through a 2nd bag and I see something yellow, pull it out and DD says that looks handmade. Takes another look and says that's the sweater you made Andy and I said yep! Didn't even keep the hat and sweater as a keepsake. Some people are just like that. I have a sweater that my Aunt knitted for DD when she was little. It's packed a away.

BUT - back to you question: diffenitaly a baby blanket for sure.

[littleemeraldgreenfrog]

I guess I'd think about how invested I was in making the baby a blanket and then decide. If I really wanted to I'd make it. If I was iffy, I'd ask. I think Lynlees "Hey, I was thinking about making a blanket for the baby. What colors are the nursery?" is perfect way to ask the question.

[bgs]

Sometimes you when you get a gift you don't appreciate it as much when you receive it as you do later on when you are using it.

[frogsrock]

If she hesitates when replying to you then I wouldn't do it but it she is all gushy to you then yeo she would love it.

thats not always true...if asked id probably sound a bit hesitant because i would feel i was being a bother to the person (which is insane since THEY brought it up...)

 

Sometimes you when you get a gift you don't appreciate it as much when you receive it as you do later on when you are using it.

very true

[Aggie May]

Remember, a gift is something you "Give away" so it becomes the property of the person you give it to.

If you are not sure if you can "Let go" of the blanket, then you should not give it.

Maybe you can safeguard yourself by asking her to choose the colours you use in the blanket, then she will be more likely to use it.

Another option is to make a floor blanket in nice dark Rainbow colours so she has something to lay the baby on when its on the floor. I bet she would love it so much she would use it on the bed as well.

Rainbows always go well for babies because the true colours go with any decor and they are interesting for the baby to look at.

To be on the safe side, maybe you could give a baby towel, the sort with the hood on the corner, as well, just in case.

Hope these ideas help.

Have fun with your new niece.

Colleen:hug

[eurolyons]

I say make the blanket...baby blankets you can almost away get away with making and giving to people, even to those that normally wouldn't appreciate a handmade gift...you will know after you give it to her whether she will appreciate it or not. I've yet to have a problem with making a baby blanket and having it rejected outright...

[CLLinda]

just ask her if she would like a handmade blanket for the baby and you should be able to tell from her reaction of you asking how she owuld take one as a gift.

 

If she hesitates when replying to you then I wouldn't do it but it she is all gushy to you then yeo she would love it.

 

I agree. I would definately ask her if she wants one. Has she ever noticed anything you had made in your house? Any clue on how she felt about it? That might be a clue.

 

Ask before you make it. This way, if she says no, there won't be the hard feelings that you would have if you had made one and gotten just a so-so response.

 

Since you are not particularly that close, she should be able to answer you fairly.

 

I would maybe even show a sample of yarn you were planning to use, if she agrees. Or maybe have her pick out the yarn. Take her to Michael's, Hobby Lobby, etc. and show her the yarns. This way, it will be just the right color.

 

Hopefully, she'll jump at the chance to have something special for her new baby.

 

[LAFrenchie]

I definately agree that you should ask her. If she is not interested - here is your chance to make a baby blanket for the wee one to use when visiting at your home! That might make your SIL wish she'd said Yes.

[needlesandpinza]

I am struggling with this for one of my friends too.

so I decided when the baby ever decided to be born that I will just go purchase something of necessity for baby and mom.

there are a few things she was asking me about that I used and loved with my kids, that they loved so even if she has doubles it will be ok.