Ungreatful or Justifide?-Update Post 30

[zeropixie]

One my mom's coworkers has a large garden so I gifted her a couple Reusable Produce bags, she really likes them and uses them for alot of different things. Several weeks ago she told me that she belongs to an Organics group and thought that several of the other members would really like the bags too and if I wanted to sell any bags she would take some to her next meeting, just let her know so she could put it in their newsletter. Life got in the way and I wasn't able to get back to her so I didn't think much of it until yesterday. My mom came home, took a deep breath and told me that this woman had taken orders at the meeting at a cost of six dollars a bag and they need to be done in three weeks .

 

Am I being ungreatful for getting a little extra cash right now or am I justifide in feeling "put out". Because of my neck injury I can't sit for more than two hours straight so making one bag can take five or six hours. There may not be enough cotton in my stash to make more than three right now and I don't have the money to run out and get more.

This woman is easily offended plus she works with my mom which makes me feel like I "have " to do this.

If anyone has had to deal with this I could really use some advice.:worried

[mamabear10]

You mean, this woman jumped the gun..took orders for your bags, set a price.. AND a deadline.. ALL without your offcial say-so? She's the one who is going to look foolish three weeks from now, not you. You are perfectly justified to tell her you never agreed to such a 'contract." You are under no obligation to her or her club members. IF you want to take on this project after the holidays, you can let this club know what your prices are, and set your own deadlines. This woman was way out line here. You are under NO obligation to work for less than minimum wage anyway! She is taking advantage of your generosity.

[ZoeZoesmom]

$6.00? Your time is worth more than that! And the cotton......as much as you need extra cash, it does not even sound like you can break even on this. Where did she come up with the $6.00 figure?

[Crochet Garden]

To not make waves, I would simply tell the woman, or have your mother relate, that due to the neck injury, you are unable to make these. But the only problem is, when you heal, they may want you to make them. But then, maybe by then they will forget.

 

First and foremost, do not endanger your health or healing time to keep peace!

 

And you do have a right to feel the way you do. I think it boils down to people do not realize the time, nor the materials to make items. Usually, that is the case...

 

I do think though it is our of line of her to put on a deadline and set a price without your confirmation.

[lizdini]

I'd tell her the truth. If she doesn't like it, oh well. What does your mom say?

[Crocus58]

I'm with Mamabear10 - You are under no obligation, moral or otherwise, to fulfill these "orders".

 

What does it matter if she is "easily offended" - that does not give her the right to run roughshod over you and/or your mother. I'd give her a call as soon as possible and say something like - I'm sorry you mistook my non-response to your offer to sell these bags to your group to mean that I'd sell Blank amount (fill in number) for $6.00 each and have them available in 3 weeks. That's just not possible (do not give ANY excuse here - just it's not possible). I hope your haste does not cause you too much embarrassment, but it's simply not possible to fullfill this request. Perhaps we could revisit this another time, but it's not possible at this time.

 

You do not have to fulfill someone else's promises - - the nerve! She has the nerve to decide you are going to do this, set a price, a delivery date and take orders, and does not have the guts (decency) to tell you directly - but passes the "orders" through your MOTHER!?!?!?! Chicken!! She's trying to intimidate you through your mother - that's what extortionists do!

 

Sorry for the tone - but this really ticks me off!

[robbieAK]

I'd tell her the truth. If she doesn't like it, oh well. What does your mom say?

 

 

I agree I would tell her the truth. If she came up with the price and time table all on her own, I would be sure to let her know that it was very bold of her to do that (not to mention rude). Also, I would respond with an acceptable price and time table for you (if you really want to do them). Do not short change yourself just because you don't want to offend her. In reality, if the assumptions I am making are correct, you have every reason to be offended over what she did. She should have recontacted you before she did this.

 

Of course she may have done all of this (price and time table) based on what the two of you talked about when the idea originally came up. In which case, she should have still contacted you to make sure you could do the order at this later time. If she had done so, you would have had a chance to tell her about your neck injury.

 

Don't feel like you have to do this because she works with your mom. If you do decide to take the order, I would not do it under her conditions. If she doesn't like that, well...let her know she should have recontacted you before going ahead and taking orders (and setting a time line no less).

[kittyloverdeb]

The nerve of some people! That's just down right rude of her!

[sarisue]

If you didn't talk to her with the finished details I wonder if your mom did thinking she was helping you. As she is the one who gave you this information you could have her tell the woman the truth, that that price isn't reasonable and if you want to do it give a counter offer of what you decide is a reasonable amount and time for them. Then they have the choice of going ahead or canceling their offer. If you do decide to do any at your price you could have them pay for the yarn first and the rest when done.

[CrisKad]

$6 for an entire bag? She's crazy!

[mamabear10]

$6 for an entire bag? She's crazy!

 

 

That's what I thought too! Those cheap canvas bags from Walmart and my local grocery store cost $1 and that's about what they're worth.. what you're making is more durable and whole lot more attractive and you are not a third world sweat shop worker.

[moggy]

Just say back to this woman "$60 per bag, that's great - thanks for organising that" in front of the group and then let her sweat as she wiggles out if it with the other ladies!!

[ZoeZoesmom]

Just say back to this woman "$60 per bag, that's great - thanks for organising that" in front of the group and then let her sweat as she wiggles out if it with the other ladies!!

 

:lol Oh you are good! Just plain evil!

[tryptikangel]

I can understand how you feel about being torn between the extra cash and the woman taking orders, setting a price and deadline without your consent. I tend to be a bit intimidated by other people when they ask me to do something. I have a hard time saying no for various reasons. But, that being said, I would definitely take the advice of the other women on here and tell this woman it's just not possible to do what she wants at this time. As much as having extra cash would be good, maintaining your sanity and your health is much better! I would talk to this woman and tell her that right now is not a good time, but you'd be happy to revisit the idea at a later date (if you'd like to revisit it that is), perhaps after the holidays or when you've had more time to recuperate? There is no reason you should feel ungrateful to her, you are definitely justified in feeling the way you do!

[papersmiles]

Hmmm..... I've been pondering your situation and if you want to keep this group as a potential market for your creations, I think there are a couple of avenues to consider.

 

 

First, perhaps the woman actually thought she was doing you a favor by praising your creation so much that others wanted one. Then she would be hurt if you simply begged off making the bags at all as well as being embarrassed in front of the other members of the club. Sometimes good manners are a bit one sided but always worth the effort in the end.

 

Second, explaining your physical restrictions and limitations probably would go along way in NOT creating an uncomfortable situation, especially in view of both the future sales potential for your crocheted items and your mother's friendship with all the people in this club. This should allow you to alter the schedule for completion as well as professionally discuss the costs of both the yarn and your work time for any other projects.

 

My grandmother alway told me, "Don't burn bridges when you are surrounded by rivers".

 

Just my two cents or is it 2 1/2 cents with inflation rates (LOL).

[allieliz]

I agree that the lady was presumptuous. Most non-craftspeople have no idea the time and money it takes to make things by hand (perhaps politely let her know the number of hours you put into making a bag and the cost of the yarn too). Let her know the limits your neck injury puts on you; surely, she wouldn't be offended by that. You should not feel obligated to her, but do find out the back story on why she did what she did.

[cheraboo]

I agree that the lady was presumptuous. Most non-craftspeople have no idea the time and money it takes to make things by hand (perhaps politely let her know the number of hours you put into making a bag and the cost of the yarn too). Let her know the limits your neck injury puts on you; surely, she wouldn't be offended by that. You should not feel obligated to her, but do find out the back story on why she did what she did.

 

I agree. I am horrified that she would be so presumptious but I think you should give her the benefit of the doubt. She is probably completely clueless as to what making even one of these bags entails.

[StitchinCindi]

IF YOU HAVE THE NAMES of the people who want the bags, then call/go to them and tell them that there was a "miscommunication" and that the bags are really $$$$ and that the $6.00 was about the cost of your materials.

 

Then also explain to the people that due to the holidays and some health problems, that they will get them as you finish them.

 

Also, I would ask if they would please pre-pay the $6.00, so that you would be able to get the materials faster.

 

Just my $0.02

[Pyroteca]

I agree with what Papersmiles said...you probably want to be polite even if this woman was horribly rude. It usually doesn't do any good to sink to their level since that in turn makes you as bad as they are. You might get some satisfaction in the short term, but not in the long term.

 

That being said, I would politely tell her that you can't manage the deadline, that you would be willing to undertake the project (if you want to) but that the price must also be renegotiated, and if she wants to save face, then she can just pay for the materials or whatever seems reasonable to you, or she can go back and say that she was "mistaken" about the price to the other women. If she is unwilling to work with you, then I would tell her that you simply can't do it. You can choose to justify that or not, that is your call.

 

In any event, good luck, and I hope this turns out ok for you and that hopefully you can find a good way to resolve this. But, you should put yourself and your health first. Your health is what is most important.

[Cliffnote]

I dont think you should feel bad,the women had no right to 1. take orders without your ok 2. set the price without talking to you 3. setting a deadline without talking to you. I agree I would be polite about it and explain your situation to the women who wanted the orders, and I would talk to the women who took the orders and tell her that although you appreciate it, she had no right to do what she did and that the price she quoted is material cost only and is abit more for the time. she should have talked to you directly and not have gone through your mother.

[stitchgirl]

I would tell her the truth too. You don't have to say how incredibly rude she was to do that, but just tell her that because of your injury you are physically unable to crochet for the long periods of time required to finish this project. But I would also add that even if you do the bags at a later date or just as you can, $6/bag is a completely unrealistic price - just say that it wouldn't even cover your materials. I'm sure that at least some of those people knew the bargain she was putting in front of them, if they really want the bag they will pay a fair price.

[alchemyfyr]

ditto to most of what was said....I'd be polite about it and explain to her your neck injury, that it takes X amount of hours per bag, that is costs X amount for materials alone, and that $6 a bag and three weeks just isn't manageable. I wish you lots of luck...I also have a hard time saying no to people especially when I am going against what they want.

[melmac51]

StitchinCindi hit the nail on the head. She's got the right idea! (That is, if you want to make the bags, of course.) :clap

[shannie_nae]

I agree with what most of the people have already said here. I would not want someone to take orders for me without m permission first, especially at such a low price. If it were me, I would make a few bags ahead of time and sell them at a price I set.

 

On a personal note: I am intersted in seeing what these bags look like and what pattern you used. It sounds like something I would be interested in making for myself.

[Rabbit9]

You never agreed to do this. I say let her take the heat for her decision. If it was me I'd go to this group personally and then explain that you never agreed to do it and with your neck injury you simply can't. I'd spell it out just like you did here. Any reasonable person will understand. If you explain it yourself maybe this woman will think twice before committing someone else to do something they didn't say they would do and others will think twice before signing up to any other project she talks about involving someone else.