Question......

[Debi Y]

Why is it that quite a few 'villers always say "I asked my hubby" or "my hubby let me" when they want to buy, or have purchased yarn or accessories?

In my opinion, whether you have a job outside of the house or not, you are worth the few dollars it costs to buy yarn. You have no doubt earned that money by all that you do.

 

Debi Y.

[eliharris]

my hubby and I discuss everything, yarn is no exception.

[hockeymomcrochets]

same here, especially with big orders. a few skeins here or there is no big deal.

[CrochettingMama]

my hubby and I discuss everything, yarn is no exception.

This. I usually buy a LOT of yarn at once too.

[Lorrie]

I have said that before. It's not that I can't make the decision to buy the yarn on my own. It's that we budget out money and we discuss the purchases we are going to make. Yarn can by a costly purchase and before I go out and buy what I want,we decide together if it is in the budget for that particular week to go purchase it. I do not enjoy doing the bills so my husband is the person in our home that manages our budget.

 

In turn he discusses with me when he wants to buy something. Truthfully my husband enjoys going shopping so he is often with me when I buy yarn. He often talks me into more expensive yarn than I would have bought on my own.

[Lady_of_Roses]

I would suspect that because many of us aren't wealthy enough that we can splurge on stuff for ourselves without actually affecting the family budget, or that we don't have some 'mad money' earmarked away in the family budget for our hobbies. Also, some yarns and accessories can be very pricey.

 

I have my earmarked mad money so I'm just guessing here. I know if I didn't have it that I would be asking to see if the finances could absorb my hobby supplies.

[teapot]

Hmm Not all of us are wealthy...

My hubby and I discuss major purchases and sometimes even the small ones.

I have err quite a stash on hand:blush

So I really half to use what I have on hand, especially since the crop was not so good, and that is what we live on for the year.

I don't always ask before I buy yarn, but do when its alot of yarn. My hubby asks whether he should buy some tools or not too. So it works both ways.

Teapot:hook

[shannie_nae]

We live in a small town so when I need to buy yarn hubby is usually with me. If I am making something, that item is going in his house too. I want to make sure it will be something we will both like. Often times when I need yarn he is the one to pick it up for me because he works in the city and I don't get a chance to go to town. I may also use the term "hubby let me..." as a term of endearment simply to say that I am thinking of him. If I can't get anything because money is short, we just wait till the next month when the money is available. I have never been denied anything I have wanted/needed.

[streams45]

I love dear hubby, and I agree with the others, we have a budget to keep on and it is outta respect for him also.

[mva5493]

I don't ask for one or two skiens but if I am buying a lot at one time I do discuss it with him, but he also discusses with me things he wants to buy like fishing equipment, tools, etc.

It's not about needing permission, it's about respecting the partnership.

[Debi Y]

First, I want to make it perfectly clear that I am not wealthy - never have been. My husband is a bus mechanic and I work part-time.

Second, I respect my husband with all my heart. I love him dearly.

Debi Y.

[JennyBunny]

While I was married, we earned enough on my husband's salary that I got $75 a month as my 'allowance'. I was a stay at home mom, so I had no income.

 

Now that we are separated/divorced, I account for any purchase over $20 that isn't directly for my boys. So yes, I DO need to get hubby's permission... until my paychecks start kicking in.

[ladyluck1678]

We are not wealthy by any means. This said, I'm the also the so called breadwinner in the family. I always buy what I want but I also keep in mind what bills are coming up, etc. I always show my DH what I have bought and don't hide any of it. His response has always been, "That's great honey! I know how hard you work and you deserve to treat yourself."

 

I totally understand where the original comment came from. If you contribute to the family income you should be able to purchase something for yourself without "asking." But, I also understand the concept of a true partnership where both people ask about making additional "fun" purchases.

[Angeleyz14]

As stated, budgets are a way of life for a fair amount of us. I don't ask when a purchase a skein or two ( I usually use coupons anyway), but I do value dh's opinion especially if it is for the house, the girls or the in laws. He includes me in his purchasing decisions and I do the same. I am not denied anything unless we just don't have the money to spare. Our girls come first, then our hobbies. Like last week and this week, no yarn for me because we have to scrape together the money to buy diapers for Harmony and still have gas to get me to work and him to interviews and the unemployment office.

[beth eathorne]

i have certain amount of money that is mine to spend each time i get paid. and if i stick a few skeins of yarn in the grocery cart at WAlly World no big deal. but if i need alot of yarn for a project i tell him what i have in mind. i pay the bills but think it is only fair...he loves to camp and we talk about those purchases also.

[boksie]

:manyheartI don't talk to hubby about my yarn purchases but then I rarely purchase vast quantities or fancy designer yarns unless they're deeply discounted. My substitute teacher's check buys the "extras" for around the house and is my "allowance" (the summer is tough with no check!). Anyway, here at the ville we have members from diverse backgrounds, cultures and ages-- how they interact with their spouses is quite different than how young American women interact with theirs. This is an interesting thread and points out how diverse individuals can come together over a common interest like crocheting. I have to be careful what I say here because I don't want to break the rules and say anything political! LOL! Hugs, Sharon

[Cliffnote]

I don't ask for one or two skiens but if I am buying a lot at one time I do discuss it with him, but he also discusses with me things he wants to buy like fishing equipment, tools, etc.

It's not about needing permission, it's about respecting the partnership.

 

 

We are the same way. Little things here and there is not such a big deal, but when it comes to the biggies, we discuss it together before buying.

[mellybelly]

Wow...this IS an interesting thread. DH and I keep separate accounts. We are each accountable for certain bills. Sadly enough, I think we both have a bit of paranoia from our previous marriages

But, it works out well for us. I get what I want, he gets what he wants - but we both make sure bills are paid first. (Well, he's not as firm on that point as I am. There's been a couple times where he's splurged first and then had that 'OOPS!' moment. I'll help out if I can, but if not, it's just too bad.)

If either of us wants to make a big purchase, we talk about it first, just to make sure. If I wanted to go buy a load of yarn, I'd talk to him first to make sure he'd be able to foot the power bill for me that week, and maybe I could pay one of his bills the next, etc. Small purchases aren't a big deal, though.

On another note, all you ladies with such supportive DH's are lucky, lucky, LUCKY! If my DH offered to take me somewhere and buy yarn, or even offered a sincere opinion, I'd fall over! I'd wonder exactly what he'd done, and how bad it was

[stitchgirl]

Wow...this IS an interesting thread. DH and I keep separate accounts. We are each accountable for certain bills. Sadly enough, I think we both have a bit of paranoia from our previous marriages

But, it works out well for us. I get what I want, he gets what he wants - but we both make sure bills are paid first. (Well, he's not as firm on that point as I am. There's been a couple times where he's splurged first and then had that 'OOPS!' moment. I'll help out if I can, but if not, it's just too bad.)

If either of us wants to make a big purchase, we talk about it first, just to make sure. If I wanted to go buy a load of yarn, I'd talk to him first to make sure he'd be able to foot the power bill for me that week, and maybe I could pay one of his bills the next, etc. Small purchases aren't a big deal, though.

 

Same for me.

[Empress Busy Bee]

We're not wealthy either. We're on a budget. We pay our bills first, take care of our daughter's needs, and discuss big ticket items with each other before buying them.

I don't ask if I can buy yarn. I don't ask what colors. I don't sneak yarn in or hide it from him either. I buy what I need and what's in our budget.

I respect my husband and our marriage. I don't have to discuss everything with him.

[Sylviaf]

I have also never asked permission to buy yarn or other supplies, but, like almost everyone else here, I have to be careful about my expenditures. When things are tight, I don't buy yarn. His "permission" wouldn't change the state of our finances.

[noQcrocheter]

When I first started I asked all the time, sometimes at the store standing in front of the supplies. Now not so much, only when it is something big or when he has been off work a while and if it is to finish something I never ask I tell It's either the yarn or an unfinsihed project.

[vonnie]

Well I don't ask, we are not rich but don't really have any money problems. We have been married almost 40 years (next month) and I don't work outside the home. If I want something (I take take care of the money) then I buy it, same with DH, we don't really have any expensive wants, but when I bought my new suv last year I didn't ask, we had talked about what to buy, but when I found the one I wanted, I bought it, it is the vehicle I drive, DH has his own........................Now that said, we did argue for almost two months on a puppy, I didn't want one (not a money thing, a take care of thing) and he did, well I lost this last weekend, we now have a puppy and guess who is taking care of it.................................. I will buy all the yarn and anything else I want....LOL revenge is great...

[forestergirl]

Most of the people that my husband and I spend time with aren't married, so I see him getting the same question from his friends. The transmission went on DH's motorcycle about a week ago, and with our vehicle and living situation, it wasn't really an option to be down by one vehicle. A lot of people were surprised that I "let" him get a new bike, especially since we are both students and the money had to come out of our savings. But since we respect each other, even though he really wanted to get the bike and got a really good deal, if I had said, "no, let's wait till spring," he would have. I would have done the same thing if the situation were reversed. I think for most of us, when we say that he "let" us, or gave "permission," it's more of just giving the final go-ahead than giving real permission.

[Miss Crochet]

Well, I'm in my early thirties, newly-wed, and the main breadwinner in our household. Seeing as how it's my money, I could buy all the yarn I wanted without anyone's permission

 

But when I got married I promised to share what I had. I don't see it as 'my' money or 'his' money, it's OUR money. I pay into our joint account and what's left over remains in my bank account and I spend that as I please. As I rarely spend more than €20 a month on yarn, I don't think he cares that much one way or another. If I were to make a large purchase, I would check it with himm - and vice versa. He is in the process of buying a new computer (from his savings) and I am involved in every step of the way (sigh) because it's a large purchase and even though it's from his savings, it is still 'our' money. He recently found a €20 note in an old birthday card envelope and gave it to me to buy yarn - more as a joke than anything else, because he knows I won't spend money our money wilfully on my hobby.

 

At some point in the future I hope he'll be the main earner, in which case the tables will be turned and most of the money coming in will be through his paycheck. I know he will be as generous and respectful towards me with 'his' money as I am now with 'mine'.