What To Do with Round Ripple...

[hockeymomcrochets]

So...I made the neutral color in the round ripple that I posted.

 

Here is my dilemma, if you can make it through to the end and give me your opinion I'd appreciate it. I am torn, but leaning one way more than the other in my decision.

 

 

The round ripple I made was for a co-worker of my 16 yr old son. He no longer is employed at the ice rink but our family is always there with one being on ice hockey teams and the other coaching and just liking to skate.

 

So, this girl is 20, unmarried and expecting in October. She has always been friendly and treated us well. When I heard the news a few weeks ago I thought it was a GREAT reason to do a round ripple and the room was done in neutrals and green but no one was sure if it was sage or mint. Leave it to "kids".

 

I figured they would have a shower eventually at work and I was going to send it in with one of 2 other employees we are also close with. Then I find out about 2 weeks later that she left work but still drops in occassionally and does have contact still closely with one employee and she is also a friend on my facebook.

 

I IM'd her telling her I had something for the baby. No reply....maybe she wasn't around. I sent her a facebook message saying that i MADE (I didn't capitalize it in the message but wanted her to know it was homemade) and wanted to get it to her either to drop it off or meet her somewhere. No reply and she has been on facebook posting sonogram pics and on walls, so it's not a case of not getting it. Last resort try on my personal end, I IM'd her again when I saw her online asking if she got my message about the gift for the baby...no answer.

 

I mentioned it to my son's coach who is close with her and still sees her. He said she is really busy but that he would call her the next day and tell her to get in touch with me because the RR was really pretty and a very nice thing for me to do for her. (he's 23)

 

My son's other friend that works there wanted to see a pictures so he took one and sent it to her on her phone (she's 16 also). My son tells me yesterday that when we were at the rink on Saturday his friend (16 yr old) was telling another employee we know there (she's 21) that I made this gorgeous blanket and that she saw the pregnant girl there the other day and had told her that I made her a really pretty blanket for her and that the pregnant girl said to her....Why would she make a balnket for ME (making it sound like it was for her use), that's just weird. The two girls talking said she was just weird and an idiot not to realize it was for the baby and because we've known her for 2 years not to mention the fact that if she hadn't left working threre a whole bunch of families would have given her many gifts.

 

So....this is now 2 weeks of trying to get this afghan to her for the baby and then the comment. Part of me says I did make it with the baby in mind and the other part of me says that I was planning on making some afghans between now and the fall for donating here through C'Ville to the NICU babies.

 

My son, the two girls he was talking to and my husband say that this girl is being very selfish and picky with what people offer and give her (she has refused some other slightly used things people have offered her) and that at 20 yrs old, unmarried and living with your parents and no job and your boyfriend still in school you would want and be glad people want to help andare thinking of your baby.

 

They are saying that the parents of the NICU babies will certainly appreciate and cherish the afghan more and to send it on its way with the other one I just started for the charity. I am more than 90% sure I think that is what I should do too, but the other small percentage of my heart still wishes she would understand that it is for the baby and there are people out in the world that just do things to be nice, however, I hate to admit she always did act "bratty" for her age alot of the time in certain situations and that knowing it would definately be appreciated and a comfort to some parents also is heartwarming.

 

I was just wondering what the thoughts of people here were. I don't know why, but I feel like I have a broken heart over this.

 

Thanks!

[Priszm]

I'm sorry that she's not appreciative of the gift. Even if it was something you bought, she should have made a return contact. Even if it was to say I appreciate the gesture but...(fill in excuse). I think since you've tried to contact her to give it to her, and others have said she's picky/bratty/etc, that maybe it should go to NICU.

[~Kel~]

you've worked hard to contact here and she hasn't replies, she's now been told by others about the blanket and she apparently is uninterested, I'd say give it to the NICU

[CLLinda]

you've worked hard to contact here and she hasn't replies, she's now been told by others about the blanket and she apparently is uninterested, I'd say give it to the NICU

 

I agree. Some people just don't appreciate homemade things. Maybe she feels funny about accepting something from an ex-co-worker.

 

Or she's just expecting things to drop in her lap because she's pregnant and her parents will take care of her.

 

[CrisKad]

That sure does sound plain old rude of this girl. Personally, I would be overjoyed if someone took their time and talent to make something for my child.

 

Since she is not appreciative, I agree with the idea of giving it to a NICU, where a family will love and cherish the gesture for their baby. There are some great ladies here who donate to NICU's.

[crazycrochet]

I agree with the others, give it to someone else. She is not going to appreciated it at all. You worked too hard to feel this bad.

[RoseRed]

Just make sure that you know what you're going to say when she asks where the blanket is.

 

I'd simply tell her that I tried for 2 weeks to get a hold of you. Oh well.

[kidge]

I would donate it to someone that will appreciate it I don't feel this young woman will.

 

NICU I am sure would be more then happy to find a loving family for it

[Feederofthepack]

Sounds like she probably won't appreciate it.

[tralee]

I would donate it to charity where it will be greatly appreciated. Sounds like even if you do get it to her, she wouldn't be grateful. Kind gestures are always received the way we would like them to be.

[Peggy85225]

My vote goes to the NICU also. You've gone above and beyond to reach out to her, wait until you finish your next gift for the NICU and if she hasn't contacted you, which I don't think she will, send them both to those who will appreciate your love and talent.

[teakaycee]

oh hon..........I'm so sorry to hear of this. Its stinks when you make something with such good intentions and big heart only to end up questioning whether or not to follow through!

No matter what you decide... you're heart is right and thats all that matters!

Now without making myself sound like a begger with her hand out... if you do decide to donate the blanket and havent already. I would love to get ahold of it. I placed a challenge on my blog a while back that your blanket would fill my need of.

Good luck with this situation hon....

[boksie]

I would wait until a week or 2 after the baby is born and if you don't hear from her then donate it to NICU or "stash it" for a gift for someone else. Some young people today don't stop and think about their actions and how they make other people feel.

[Schmetterling]

You did a beautiful thing and I feel you should donate it to a local NICU. It will be greatly appreciated.

 

Both of my small children were in the NICU. My son had pneumonia but was never 'critical' but my daughter was in a very life-threatening situation and it was a terrifying time. I will never forget the day I went in to sit by her isolette and watch her and seeing a donated, crocheted blanket draped over her isolette. It touched me so much I have never forgotten the very feeling I had. It is indescribable. Not only does Meg still have the blanket out but she knows now at 5 the story of a wonderful person who took the time to make a loving gift just for her. She already speaks of it one day going to her baby.

 

I am sure this feeling and experience is typical for NICU families. It's such an unforgettable kindness it will never be forgotten.

[happy stitcher]

Just make sure that you know what you're going to say when she asks where the blanket is.

 

I'd simply tell her that I tried for 2 weeks to get a hold of you. Oh well.

 

RoseRed, we often agree. That's exactly what I was thinking. Have a response ready, and don't feel bad. She's obviously got a lot of growing up to do, and keep in mind that some people just don't appreciate home-made gifts.

 

I might even say something like, "I tried for 2 weeks to get you - then I heard from somebody else that you didn't want it, so I sent it to the NICU where it would be appreciated." (I can get a little snippy sometimes! )

[cgd]

I gotta agree with everyone else--either donate it or stash it for a later gift recipient who will appreciate it. Most people would appreciate such a wonderful gesture, but some people don't, and it's her loss.

[crocheting turtle]

I certainly understand why a part of you would still want to give it to her. However, I believe that "someone" may be guiding you to give it to a NICU for a special reason, of which you know nothing. I would give it to the NICU.

[Evelyn1]

I have made several gifts for girls at our church. I never get as much as a thank you. I guess people just don't do it anymore.. I never saw a one of the gifts after they were received..

 

E1

[gsx2ts4u]

Sounds like you already know what to do honey

 

Some mama and daddy in a NICU somewhere are going to love that blanket up!

[Evilameba]

flip a coin?there may be a problem or something that u dont know about.some reason why she might be inclined not to take it.if you give it to her im sur she will realize how nice it was of you and appreciate it.more than likely,its a reason you dont know about.just try anyway.

[Lubba_my_kiddos]

I'm with everyone else. Donate it to the NICU. If she says anything about the blanket (which, by the sounds of your story, probably won't happen) tell her you thought she didn't want it and you donated it to the NICU. Some people just don't appreciate the love and work that goes into handmade items. Personally they are my absolute favorite!

[abc-dee]

im a firm believer in giving items i make only to people who appreciate them..

 

i have a SIL who is waking up to herself now knowing that i am making a small collection of items for my best friend's impending arrival.. SIL(who is 25 and expecting baby 4) looked rather disappointed that the blanky wasnt for her..

 

i made items for several people's children, and the first 4 neices, and only 3 people were grateful for the items and treasure them knowing that i have made a real effort for them.

 

i crochet to put a smile on someones face when i give them an item.. not to have the item trashed, or be thrown in a cupboard cos its not name brand!

[cherrypicker]

I hate to sound age ist but I hear this all the time at the parent and toddler group I run, young mums wanting all new designer stuff for babies, I overheard one mum telling another that her mother in law had "hand made" (and she pulled a disgusted face when saying that as if it was a swear word!)a baby outfit..."I put that straight in a charity shop!" she said and they both nodded.....I thought how sad that is that even if this hand made item wasn't to her taste that she should still appreciate the effort put into making it! I think perhaps older mums do appreciate this sort of gesture... if I was you I would donate it or gift it to someone who would really appreciate the effort you put into this rr! its sad but people want designer clothes and all the trimmings.

[abc-dee]

I hate to sound age ist but I hear this all the time at the parent and toddler group I run, young mums wanting all new designer stuff for babies, I overheard one mum telling another that her mother in law had "hand made" (and she pulled a disgusted face when saying that as if it was a swear word!)a baby outfit..."I put that straight in a charity shop!" she said and they both nodded.....I thought how sad that is that even if this hand made item wasn't to her taste that she should still appreciate the effort put into making it! I think perhaps older mums do appreciate this sort of gesture... if I was you I would donate it or gift it to someone who would really appreciate the effort you put into this rr! its sad but people want designer clothes and all the trimmings.

 

that is horrible.. beleive me your not being age-ist.. there are women of all ages that are like that.. "if it aint brand name i dont want it!" .. doesnt it just make you want to slap them..

 

i grew up with home made clothes, and my nan and aunties taught me some of thier little talents.. and ive always treasured the home made items over the store bought ones..

[Ladycrochat]

NICU babies! It is disheartening to work for a long time on a beautiful gift and then to have it not appreciated......I am sorry that this has happened to you. That is why I say send it to the folks who are going to love it and appreciate what they received!