Do I have to share?

[CLLinda]

A lady in my crochet group asked me for my pattern for my crochet bonnets that I make. I don't have a pattern written down because it's in my head. I've been making this pattern I designed myself for a few years now and I haven't written it down. I make them for hospitals and other places.

 

I told her instead that I would just make her one. Is that a good way to handle the situation? I don't mind making one for her great niece, but I really don't want to publish it yet.

 

Is that fair?

 

[LadyBeBop]

Yes, I think it is. It's the same as KFC not sharing it's secret recipe for its chicken with seven herbs and spices. But KFC is willing to produce its end result. In fact, yours is even more fair. You're giving away the bonnet, but KFC is selling the chicken.

[texasredhead]

Yes, I think it is. It's the same as KFC not sharing it's secret recipe for its chicken with seven herbs and spices. But KFC is willing to produce its end result. In fact, yours is even more fair. You're giving away the bonnet, but KFC is selling the chicken.

 

FYI....the "secret" ingredients in KFC Chicken is MSG!! So, if you are senstive to MSG or you are a migraine sufferer like I am....don't eat Kentucky Fried Chicken!!! But sharing crochet patterns are not hazardess to your health!

[dianejerry]

delete

[cdschlea]

You don't have to share, but do please write it down and store it somewhere safe. You never know what might happen to a person and it would be a shame for that pattern to not be passed down to family. We're still trying to figure out what my grandmother's secret recipe for her cake frosting. She never wrote it down.

 

Colleen

[yarnjeannie]

I agree. Do write it down and make sure someone can continue making beautiful bonnets. I have patterns in my head and I've been debating whether or not to write them down. I will.

 

We all used to rave over my husband's grandmother's potato salad. No one could make it like her, even though she wrote the recipe down and gave it to others. Turns out she wrote recipes leaving out ingredients before passing it on. Now no one can make potato salad like Grammy. It's a shame. Grammy's recipe would have been treasured and passed down from generation to generation. Now it's gone and no one asks for the recipe for the potato salad that almost tastes like Grammy's.

[CLLinda]

I like the "Secret Family Recipe" concept. It is kind of like Bush's baked beans and KFC.

 

I thought it was fair to make a bonnet and give it to her. This way, the baby gets the bonnet and my "secret" stays safe.

 

I think I will write it down, along with a bonnet and put it away for my daughter. That way, she will have something from me, plus a pattern to make more if she wants to.

 

[RoseRed]

If she has a good eye then she could pull the pattern just by looking at it closely.

 

I think it's a wonderful gesture to make it for her. That's just sweet.

 

Write it down and date it. Write it out on the computer and time/date stamp it. This way it's 'copyrighted' to you.

[Vickietoria]

I agree with the others here. I just wanted to add, that I laugh at the google adds that are on these pages, because they're related to what we're talking about, but not very often yarn! Right now, there are several adds for KFC things! I think it's funny.

Victoria

[CLLinda]

I agree with the others here. I just wanted to add, that I laugh at the google adds that are on these pages, because they're related to what we're talking about, but not very often yarn! Right now, there are several adds for KFC things! I think it's funny.

Victoria

 

I laughed when I saw that too. Thanks for sharing.

 

[Knit Happens]

Don't feel bad at all. You handled it the way you needed to, and were not mean at all. Perhaps she would not want to share her meatball recipe either.

[Chiscrochetcrazy]

I think it's fine for you to say it's a family pattern and making her one is a very generous gesture. I understand how you feel about your patterns I have a really hard time giving mine up they're like a part of me & it's hard. It's also difficult when we get pressured to give them up yet at the same time it's a compliment.

[Lady_of_Roses]

I think she's coming out ahead by you not giving her a pattern, but an end product. I'd think if she's an experienced crocheter she can probably figure out the pattern if she has the bonnet in her hands.

 

You probably should write down your pattern and get it copywrited as suggested above before giving away a sample to someone who potentially can duplicate it and claim it as hers.

[CrochetLiving]

Please write your pattern down. Even if it is in shorthand. I know I have made patterns in the past, said to myself that I would remember what I did then after I stopped making that item for a while had to re-think what I did. Trust me on this.

[shelly_bean]

There is no rule that says you have to share your pattern. I agree that the offer you made is far more generous.

[amdm]

Being generous is fine, but take some steps to safeguard your status as the originator of this pattern.

[LondonLaura]

I agree with all the others that it's more than fair for you to make her a bonnet.

 

So far as protecting the pattern, I've heard you should write it out, sign it by hand, and date it. Then put it in a self-addressed envelope and post it to yourself. When you receive it, put it away safely unopened. The date stamped on the envelope by your postal service acts as proof of date. You writing a date on a piece of paper does NOT count as proof of date.

[TxStarr]

I agree. Do write it down and make sure someone can continue making beautiful bonnets. I have patterns in my head and I've been debating whether or not to write them down. I will.

 

We all used to rave over my husband's grandmother's potato salad. No one could make it like her, even though she wrote the recipe down and gave it to others. Turns out she wrote recipes leaving out ingredients before passing it on. Now no one can make potato salad like Grammy. It's a shame. Grammy's recipe would have been treasured and passed down from generation to generation. Now it's gone and no one asks for the recipe for the potato salad that almost tastes like Grammy's.

 

I had to laugh at this one!! My grandmother was not like this but my husband's grandmother wouldn't even write the recipe down!! After we got married I begged and begged and begged for her 1/2 day, super secret, no one in the family knows recipe for coconut cake. It is hubby's fav. After several years she GAVE me the recipe but swore me to secrecy!!! Turns out is a cake mix, jello pudding, dream whip, and milk instead of water! She just made everyone think she spent half a day in the kitchen making this cake "just for them!" I guess it is the thought of the time that went into it than the cake itself (although it is moist and stays moist and is delicious, it is nowhere near a half day of work!!).

[CLLinda]

I did get my pattern typed and mailed a copy to myself.

 

I don't think I'll have any problems with her but you never know.

 

I made up a couple of hats to give to her and to help bust some stash last week, and then she wasn't at our group on Friday. Well, maybe she was sick or something. I'll just leave them in my project bag and give them to her when I see her. One is pink and the other is a varigated pink,purple, yellow and orangy yarn.

 

Thanks for all the advice.

 

[Stitchinpick]

Friendship is nice, but a simple, "I am sorry but I do not have it written out so I cannot help you" should be sufficient. Of course, she will counter with, Oh, you should!" Which you should take as flattery, so thank her. Or "I will think about it." Then let it go.

 

Or, you may respond that since the response to the pattern is so good that perhaps you could publish it and make some much needed money. That way, she will understand and not be offended in any way. Be flattered and proud of your project. You don't have to make one for every person who would like the pattern! You would wear yourself out. Just consider that she thought there was no harm in asking.

 

It is easy to fall into being a "people pleaser" and to kill yourself needlessly. I think she would not want to push you into doing something you wouldn't want to. I know I worry when I ask for friend's patterns and I try to be very considerate and ask by saying, "Do you share this pattern?" instead of "Can I have it."

 

You are a real sweetheart to make one for her neice. What a trooper and valuable friend.

[beaglelover]

I think you have every right to keep it to yourself. You were very generous in offering to make her one. And I agree....she could figure it out on her own if she is really wanting it that badly.

[Ellie 13]

I have patterns I've created and I only share some of them. I always try to write it down.

As for the potato salad, get all copies of the recipes and compare them. Leaving ingredients out might have just been a "senior" moment. Of course she could have wanted you to work together .

BTW: I think KFC has 11 herbs and spices (1 might be MSG).

Ellie 13

[dragonlady]

When my son got married, the brides mother requested a recipe from everymember of the families. Because of that I have recipies from my family that I would have never had. Unfortunately I didn't get my dad to write down his recipe for beans and so far I haven't been able to come up with it. The offer of the bonnet was nice. But do write it down for your family. Make a couple copies and put them in different places. Someday a grandchild or a great grandchild will want to make that bonnet, be sure they can.

[eurolyons]

You have every right to publish or not publish your pattern...I think you're more than fair here like others have said...you're giving the finished product to the requester.

 

Don't feel bad because you don't want to share the pattern...

[rainbowridergrma]

Since I make my living by my crocheting, when I am asked for my patterns, I explain that that is how I make my living so I don't give them out. Most people accept that-some get mad. There are a lot of patterns I do share, but not the ones I am constantly changing and perfecting. I feel like if someone really wants the pattern, they should buy the item. You have gotten some really good answers here. Think I will incorporate some of the more diplomatic responses into my stock answer. But what do you do or say when you see someone nearly tearing apart something you have for sale, to see how you make it?