Ugly yarn help

[funkyreporter]

Okay. Always one to want to try something new ~ and thinking I might being doing something moderately helpful (that I would benefit from) ~ I bought quite a bit of yarn (about $50 worth) from a not-to-be-named source on eBay. It is advertized as 'bleached recycled raw silk yarn' something-or-another. I have owned garments made of raw silk and thought I knew what raw silk was.

 

Well, well. This stuff is apparently made from what they sweep up off the floor when making other garments in Nepal (they said something to that effect) and the ladies spin it into yarn. So far, so good. So it arrives and I must say this is quite the ugliest yarn I have ever seen. I was going to tea dye it, but it is already the color of uck. It is coarse and gritty, thick and thin, really spun tight so you have to find a way to dangle it literally about every two feet or it starts winding up on itself. I did a swatch about 25 chains long (had to use an N hook, even though parts of it 'skinny-down' to thread size) and then turned it and did a double crochet, chain one, skip a stitch, double crochet thing. It looks suspiciously like a fishnet... and not in a good way. Like a ropey, been dragging behind the boat, got barnacles on it fishnet.

 

I have quite a bit of this stuff - I think over 1,000 yards, maybe 2,000 - two bags. Any suggestions on what to do with this stuff? It comes with a disclaimer that due to the 'delicate nature of the yarn' (yeah, right) it should not be made into a garment that is to be 'worn roughly'. So an actual fishnet is apparently out of the question.

 

I will await the pattern suggestions to come flooding in...

 

 

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As requested, the traveling Yugly itinerary as of page 64, compiled by mommy Shelle!:

Okay, here's the list of Aunties. Please let me know if I've left anyone out. Or if you want to be added to the list.

1. pplcrochets *

2. xmaystarx *

3. melissacrochets *

4. andip470 *

5. tlisley *current home*

6. Kathome

7. sakurasaku

8. Ladycrochets

9. squish52

10. LadyKindred

11. lisaizme

12. uh-oh I forgot to write down the 'ville name, but it's Anna N. (PM me)

13. anu_paradox

14. hischildsindi

[123mama]

Why not sell it on ebay yourself. Call it the Fugly yarn and someone will buy it.

 

 

sondra

[flybabytina]

Hmmmm what about a shawl?

 

Tina

[funkyreporter]

you guys are SMART! First, it didn't even occur to me to pair it up with another yarn (big duh on my part) to help 'even out' the stuff, and I LIKE the idea of the rug... "yes, I have wads of $$ to throw around. We walk on silk rugs. We exfoliate with silk, um, exfoliating thingies. My bag? OH, silk, of course."

 

And, uh, no, I won't be recommending this stuff to anyone. I'm not faulting the seller - they described it... not the way I described it, but I can't say that it was misrepresented... they just didn't mention it was so yucky. And to do anything with it I'll have to roll it into balls which is excruciating because of the tornado-strength twist, and truly makes me wonder why...

 

I have SO MUCH YARN - nice beautiful alpaca, lovely Sugar & Cream cotton on cones, piles of microspun (which I adore, though I know many feel otherwise) Wool-ease and specialty hand-dyed yarns... lovely moda dea dream... why should I waste my valuable time with this stuff...

 

but I feel so bad. I can just see these Nepal women picking up these scraps and winding it for probably 8 cents a day or something... I dunno.

 

I'll pair it with some SuperSaver and make a rug. And an exfoliating thingie...

 

Thanks, guys

[Roli]

:rofl Oh I'm sorry...I guess I should commiserate but your post was just so funny! Since the fishnet idea is out, I'd suggest pairing it with a sturdier yarn and trying some sofa pillows or a bag. Perhaps the good yarn will enhance the bad yarn:goodorbad enough to get a satisfactory result. I'd love to see what you come up with!

[natalie058]

Maybe you could use it in multiple strands to make a mesh bag? That might make it a bit stronger.

 

or as base for the Doris Daymat pattern?

 

maybe worked into an exfoliating bath puff?

 

[jacqui]

I was going to suggest a bag myself but a friend of mine tried it an it just fell apart so she decided never to buy it again. So unless you make something you can use a latch hook with i cant really help sorry.

[mwedzi]

Yikes! Sorry to hear that. Truthfully, I was wondering about some of that yarn on Ebay, which is why when I asked for a silk recommendation in the other forum it was no recycled stuff. So I guess you're not going to recommend this one, huh? Well, hmm, I don't know what you could do with it since some of it is so thick and some of it is crazy thin. Was going to suggest a bag, but unless you line it it sounds like it might break at the thin points. How do you feel about lining it? Maybe you could work a cheap acrylic in with it for durability and to decrease the fug? Since it's so coarse, maybe you could get some fabric and a huge hook and work it into a rug? You could tell people you are sooo rich that you even walk on rugs made of silk.

[Shelleden]

Did you find your cat? Is he okay? Fugly didn't eat him did he?

[funkyreporter]

Hey, just a reminder, if you want to have a True Fugly Yarn Adventure is that 100% silk can be dyed with Kool-aid just like 100% wool can. It's protein fiber.

 

Aggie May your post cracked me up!!

 

OH, be still my beating heart! Fugly yarn died with Kool-Aid! a TFYA!!! Oooh, oooh, let's take a vote: lime or grape!

[Hello Again]

Hey, just a reminder, if you want to have a True Fugly Yarn Adventure is that 100% silk can be dyed with Kool-aid just like 100% wool can. It's protein fiber.

 

Aggie May your post cracked me up!!

[jimbo]

Ha Paulette.... i like your style! Say if you're interested, i have lots of snarled wads of rusted barbwahr (that's Deadmancrickese for "barbed wire") from the ranch that i've been wondering what to do with. You want to buy a few hundred yards?

[funkyreporter]

I have heard that if you use it with kid mohair it will be softer. Maybe you can find a vibrant kid mohair to use to offset the uck color of the sari silk yarn. Good luck! Let us know what you end up doing with it.

 

That is a VERY good idea! Because of the unevenness of it I think pairing it with a nice soft pretty yarn would definitely improve it. It is very difficult to work with (keeps winding up on itself) but I really do want to come up with SOMETHING for it... I'm kinda thinking the car floormat idea... Will definitely put up pics soon!

[earthwhisper]

I have heard that if you use it with kid mohair it will be softer. Maybe you can find a vibrant kid mohair to use to offset the uck color of the sari silk yarn. Good luck! Let us know what you end up doing with it.

[funkyreporter]

I hope you labelled the package as Dangerous Goods and put plenty of air holes in the box when you sent this poor unsuspecting Fugly Yarn off on its big adventure.

Whatever you do, please do not send any of this yarn to me.

So far, we do not have any dangerous, noxious animals in New Zealand so I would hate to have the Ministry of Agriculture & Forestry after me for importing dangerous animals.

Also my cat is of a nervous disposition so I would not want her upset.

The only thing I could think that it would be good for here, is to cross it with some of our 40 million sheep and we could end up with wool which spins itself.

Thanks for the laughs, I have really enjoyed the sense of humour which seems to have snowballed in such a nice, friendly way.

Keep smiling.

Colleen.

 

Ah Colleen, how wonderful to start my day with such a laugh!

 

"I *state name* promise not to infest New Zealand with Fugly yarn."

 

But... a yarn that spins itself? a yarn that comes when beckoned? perhaps we need to talk privately about a business enterprise... maybe we could harvest it someplace nobody's using like Siberia (note: if there are any Crochetville members in Siberia I'm JUTS KIDDING - I'm sure Siberia is a lovely place:bounce * I'm sure you could spare a few of your zillion sheep!

 

I thought of marking the package as HAZERDOUS WASTE but was afraid the postman might balk at me:thumbdown so it's going incognito... you know, with the big rimmed glasses and the fake moustache, whistling quietly as it slips across the state borders unnoticed...

 

It's actually an odd array of packages going out today: 1) Fugly yarn for Shelle; 2) the completed scarf for my summer scarf swap partner * Hi Courtney*; 3) a huge box of junk food for my daughter in college; and 4) a couple books and CD's for my dear friend who is going through a particularly difficult time... Hubby will go to the post office and he's promised to put the Fugly yarn separate from the other packages - like on the roof rack or something.

 

Well, wouldn't want the Los Angeles judicial system to grind to a halt in my absense , so off to work...

[Roli]

 

The only thing I could think that it would be good for here, is to cross it with some of our 40 million sheep and we could end up with wool which spins itself.

 

 

 

 

:haha

[Aggie May]

I hope you labelled the package as Dangerous Goods and put plenty of air holes in the box when you sent this poor unsuspecting Fugly Yarn off on its big adventure.

Whatever you do, please do not send any of this yarn to me.

So far, we do not have any dangerous, noxious animals in New Zealand so I would hate to have the Ministry of Agriculture & Forestry after me for importing dangerous animals.

Also my cat is of a nervous disposition so I would not want her upset.

The only thing I could think that it would be good for here, is to cross it with some of our 40 million sheep and we could end up with wool which spins itself.

Thanks for the laughs, I have really enjoyed the sense of humour which seems to have snowballed in such a nice, friendly way.

Keep smiling.

Colleen.

[funkyreporter]

Did you find your cat? Is he okay? Fugly didn't eat him did he?

 

Yup, 'ol Shrub finally showed up. He has a nasty disposition so he was able to hold his own and escape the Fugly yarn. He only likes me and hisses and scratches everyone else in the house (like my kids and their friends) and I think he sees dead people, like in that movie. He hisses at things that aren't there - it is WEIRD. We've always joked that there's a ghost in the house - upstairs in the attic - and the cat acts really strange, stranger than normal, when he's by the attic stairs. But Benjamin (the ghost) and Shrub both know I'm not gonna take their little attitudes so they behave around me... As for the Fugly yarn, it's sitting near my crochet chair and I just wack it with a stick every so often when it starts raising a ruckus...

[jimbo]

welp. maybe i'd throw in a bent tire iron (tar arn). Gotta use all that rebar on the cabin...anyways the bumps would catch and mess up your gauge and tension.

 

Oh, and here's a thought maybe what you have there is the mid part of a transmografication .... half way between the silk purse and a sow's ear... any part of the stuff look kind of pink and hairy? Maybe you shoulda let it age a bit longer.

[funkyreporter]

I was able to corner a skein this morning with DH's help, clonked it on the head (does a skein of yarn have a head? yes. This stuff has TEETH) and sedate it long enough to stuff it into a padded envelope addresed to dear sweet Shelle. It's waking up now and scurrying about inside the bag. Scary!

 

Now before anyone gets the wrong idea, I don't hate Shelle - I like Shelle! I purchased Shelle's lovely Leisure Art's Completely Cozy Wraps to Crochet (did I get the name right?) and the beautiful Whispering Elegance sweater pattern! I have so much respect for Shelle that I know if anyone can tame this stuff, she can! She has promised to put on a Haz-Mat suit and examine it, and also not to hold me personally liable for the actions of this yarn or the mental grief that may follow.

 

Note to Shelle: I am looking for a new truck (as in used, but new to me) 'cause my husband says my Exploder, er, uh, Explorer is NOT supposed to shake so hard when you brake (or do a lane change) that the stereo falls OUT OF THE DASH! So anyway, I'm seriously thinking floor mats for my as not yet purchased truck! Tell me whatcha think. I mean, it's not like you could ruin the stuff... or that the color could get anymore hideous. I might be the only person with custom living car floor mats!

 

Ah, hubby is calling that breakfast is ready! Isn't that cool? If you consistently burn EVERYTHING YOU COOK then your family will take over the cooking duties! I may not have known that MA was Massachusettes (the home of my summer scarf swap partner) or what a horse blanket was for (apparently NOT to keep them warm and snuggly) but I know how to get out of cooking...

[Qmare]

Thanks for the giggles...

 

I needed it!

 

Sorry no idea what you can do with it... like the weaving idea... but dang I am cracking up reading this thread!:laughroll:laughroll:laughroll:laughroll

[Shelleden]

So, Shelle, put on your Haz-Mat suit and watch your mailbox....

 

I'm ready......

[funkyreporter]

The blanket (also called a saddle pad) is to protect the saddle from the horse's sweat, and to protect the horse's skin from being irritated by the leather. So, seeing as this fugly yarn is lumpy, bumpy and scratchy from all description, it has no future as a saddle blanket!

 

ALTHOUGH, there is a sort of horse covering, called a cooler, which is made of a meshy, fishnetty type fabric. It is placed over the horse when he is sweaty, to prevent him from getting a chill while he cools off. You'd probably need more than 1,00 yards to cover a horse though.

 

What is interesting to me about the Fugly Yarn, is that whenever I've seen recycled sari silk on eBay, its been a mix of bright jewel tones (crimson, bright blues, etc.) -- so while I'm sure its equally hard to work with, at least its pretty!!

 

Well thank you for the newfound knowledge of what the horse blankie is for; actually makes sense. No, I wouldn't subject a horse to a fugly yarn blanket all bumpy and such.

Funny you mention a horse cover, 'cause I briefly entertained the idea of making a car cover or perhaps floormats for my husband's truck... still not out of the question.

and yes, you are correct in the jewel-toned yarns being the more available recycled yarn... in my infinite wisdom and creativity I passed up the jewel-tone for the bleached thinking I would tea-dye the stuff... of course that dream was quickly shattered... depending on what (if anything) I do with this stuff (besides torchering Shelle with a skein of it - HA HA, SHELLE) I may indeed dye it...

actually just got back from Michael's ~woo-hoo~ and the farmer's market so I'm gonna check the yarn trap and see if it has crawled out yet... and try to find the cat...

[Hello Again]

. I saw in a movie once where they were putting a blanket on the horse under the saddle (to keep him warm, maybe?)

.

 

The blanket (also called a saddle pad) is to protect the saddle from the horse's sweat, and to protect the horse's skin from being irritated by the leather. So, seeing as this fugly yarn is lumpy, bumpy and scratchy from all description, it has no future as a saddle blanket!

 

ALTHOUGH, there is a sort of horse covering, called a cooler, which is made of a meshy, fishnetty type fabric. It is placed over the horse when he is sweaty, to prevent him from getting a chill while he cools off. You'd probably need more than 1,00 yards to cover a horse though.

 

What is interesting to me about the Fugly Yarn, is that whenever I've seen recycled sari silk on eBay, its been a mix of bright jewel tones (crimson, bright blues, etc.) -- so while I'm sure its equally hard to work with, at least its pretty!!

[xmaystarx]

Paulette, you crack me up!! Please keep the fugliness to yourself, I will donate any summer scarf I get made from this yarn to the auction! I don't have any suggestions for you as to what to do with it. But if you make lots of money off the art please remember your summer scarf partner!

[funkyreporter]

I can't wait to see this fugly yarn! The suspense is building. I had a dream about it last night - a nightmare really! JK!! BTW, Paulette, do you have something against horses? (post #16) What did Mr. Ed ever do to you?! You are one delightful gal Paulette - you always make me laugh. Like I told you, when life hands you lemons, you make lemonade!

p.s. I really like the weave a wall hanging suggestion. You could crochet one instead if you don't have a loom, and add all the fugly bits and pieces you can find. Hey everybody, let's send Paulette bits of yarn that are gross colors/textures, and she can make a work of fugly art, and maybe she'd want to give it to the auction or whatever.... It might even make the "What Not to Crochet" list!!

 

Well hardy-har-har. Very funny. Everybody get out there and sweep the barn and send Paulette the remnants. HA. Let's see how hard you're all laughing when I have my GALLERY opening and sell this crap as art for like $10,000 a pop.

 

And HELLO. I am from California - I have never been in the presence of a horse. I did have an allergy screening done once and found out I am allergic to them... I saw in a movie once where they were putting a blanket on the horse under the saddle (to keep him warm, maybe?) I dunno. But you're right. Please don't call PETA on me because I will deny deny deny.

 

I thought of something funny... The e-mails went out yesterday for the Summer Scarf Swap... I hope my swap partner doesn't see THIS thread and move with no forwarding address in fear that I'm gonna send my Fugly yarn disguised as a scarf.

 

Okay. I need to go coax this stuff out from under the couch... maybe I'll put a little snack under a box propped up with a stick and wait for it to crawl out and then WAP, got it... I haven't seen the cat this morning... hmmm? By the way, anybody seen this site? http://www.stuffonmycat.com/

 

So, Shelle, put on your Haz-Mat suit and watch your mailbox....