Ugly yarn help

[funkyreporter]

Okay. Always one to want to try something new ~ and thinking I might being doing something moderately helpful (that I would benefit from) ~ I bought quite a bit of yarn (about $50 worth) from a not-to-be-named source on eBay. It is advertized as 'bleached recycled raw silk yarn' something-or-another. I have owned garments made of raw silk and thought I knew what raw silk was.

 

Well, well. This stuff is apparently made from what they sweep up off the floor when making other garments in Nepal (they said something to that effect) and the ladies spin it into yarn. So far, so good. So it arrives and I must say this is quite the ugliest yarn I have ever seen. I was going to tea dye it, but it is already the color of uck. It is coarse and gritty, thick and thin, really spun tight so you have to find a way to dangle it literally about every two feet or it starts winding up on itself. I did a swatch about 25 chains long (had to use an N hook, even though parts of it 'skinny-down' to thread size) and then turned it and did a double crochet, chain one, skip a stitch, double crochet thing. It looks suspiciously like a fishnet... and not in a good way. Like a ropey, been dragging behind the boat, got barnacles on it fishnet.

 

I have quite a bit of this stuff - I think over 1,000 yards, maybe 2,000 - two bags. Any suggestions on what to do with this stuff? It comes with a disclaimer that due to the 'delicate nature of the yarn' (yeah, right) it should not be made into a garment that is to be 'worn roughly'. So an actual fishnet is apparently out of the question.

 

I will await the pattern suggestions to come flooding in...

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

As requested, the traveling Yugly itinerary as of page 64, compiled by mommy Shelle!:

Okay, here's the list of Aunties. Please let me know if I've left anyone out. Or if you want to be added to the list.

1. pplcrochets *

2. xmaystarx *

3. melissacrochets *

4. andip470 *

5. tlisley *current home*

6. Kathome

7. sakurasaku

8. Ladycrochets

9. squish52

10. LadyKindred

11. lisaizme

12. uh-oh I forgot to write down the 'ville name, but it's Anna N. (PM me)

13. anu_paradox

14. hischildsindi

[Shaylen]

Tribbles??

 

Thats them ....it drove me crazy all night.

 

They take over everything...even the world..:rofl

[funkyreporter]

This stuff is really hard to work with! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr (that wasn't me, that was Fugly growling)

 

Oh really? Is that a fact? Is it the chaffe-ing that's getting to you? I really don't think bleeding on it is going to harm the color - though it might feed on blood.

 

Are you getting splinters because it's too hard to work with the chain maille gloves on?

 

What seems to be the specific problem?

 

Is it that it's would up tighter than a spin top and flies out of control?

 

When you push the crochet hook in is there just a tiny little chewed off nub that comes back out?

 

I'd like to work with you on this because I really want a tire cover for my car! Just think - it would be burglar proof! (but then again I could end up getting sued fi it bit somebody that was innocently passing by and got too close.)...

[Shelleden]

I'd like to work with you on this because I really want a tire cover for my car! Just think - it would be burglar proof! (but then again I could end up getting sued fi it bit somebody that was innocently passing by and got too close.)...

 

You need to get Jimbo to make you an industrial size crochet hook with a shield to protect your fingers. My lovely acrylic nails are down to the nubbins from working with this nasty stuff!

[Shelleden]

Okay, I made something with the Fugly yarn Paulette sent me, and boy is it cute! I will be posting pics this evening after supper. You guys are all gonna want one!

[thery4]

:clapYayyyyyy! Can't wait for the pics....I've been reading and laughing with this thread! I work nights so when I get home I always try to log in and see what is going on in the ville....well this morning was great! I was a little afraid that I would have fugly yarn dreams and not get much sleep...but all is well and I can't wait to see what shelle has come up with. I hope you will be able to continue to crochet after working with this stuff though....are your hands still in one piece? Maybe, since the stuff multiplies, by tomorrow you will have enough of what you've made to send to everyone! LOL:eek

[Shelleden]

Well, Thery4, thanks for asking - my hands are going to be okay I think. Right now they're wrapped in gauze and I'm holding them high above my head to stop the throbbing..... (I'm dictating this letter to my maid ) LOL! I just downloaded (or uploaded whichever is the correct term) the pics, and now I have to put them on photobucket. Should be ready in a few minutes.

 

Drum-roll please.............

[Shelleden]

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you the First, the Original, the One and Only, **FUGLY BASKET **

***********

Ta-da!!

 

 

 

As you can see, it is a very versatile piece and can be used in numerous ways - as a pen holder, a crochet hook holder, a gift bag....It also makes a nice pop-can holder. The possiblities are endless, not to mention the sheer enjoyment you get from gazing at it. Makes a great conversation piece, too! Get your orders in Ladies and Gents. This is a limited edition. And no, this one is not for sale. Sorry. It's for my best ex-friend, Paulette . It will be making the trip to California in the morning. And don't worry Paulette, it's completely tamed and house-broken now.

Alrighty then, any more challenges?

[sakurasaku]

:rofl :rofl :rofl That's priceless!

 

Reminds me of a sea anemone (that grabs an unsuspecting fish and eat it)!

[Shelleden]

:rofl :rofl :rofl That's priceless!

 

Reminds me of a sea anemone (that grabs an unsuspecting fish and eat it)!

Ahem! So how many did you want to order?????

[xmaystarx]

I must say that basket is a work of art! Just lovely. I hope Paulette will display it proudly as her table centerpiece! She can change what goes in it to match the holidays or seasons!

[Shelleden]

See? I told ya! It's starting already.... you want one, don't you?

[crochetmama]

Good grief, Shelle, look at those pictures again. IT ATE YOUR MOUSE!

 

RUN, Girl, RUN! And Paulette, get out of the house. NOW.

[Aggie May]

Last Thursday night, our Sky Television was off air for more than 12 hours. They blamed the Eclipse of the sun for doing something odd to the Satelite.

I am very suspicious, now I have been reading this thread (and contributing), that your Fugly Yarn has infiltrated our computers and in the process has been able to close down the satelite.

Thank goodness the technicians were clever enough to close it down before it could do more harm. (There was Rugby to watch on Friday evening so there would have been rioting in the streets if they had not fixed it in time)

Then today, here for all to see, is another infestation. manifesting itself disguised as a bag.

I also noticed that the bag is trying to eat soft toys so I will be forced to call the US SPCA to make sure that no further harm comes to these dear wee animals.

My little grey, striped mouse is missing at the moment so it could be the one in the picture.

If someone can rescue him for me, I will send a reward. 40 Million sheep will be on the next plane to the US as long as you send your address.

I also noticed the Red-haired Shaggy Sporan in the second picture. I think it is a bedtime toy, belonging to the Loch Ness Monster, so if you dont want trouble, you had better return it to Loch Ness immediately.

Keep up your strength because I think there is worse to come.

I must admit, the bag does not look too bad from the other side of the world, but I would not like to get too close to it.

Have fun.

Colleen.

[funkyreporter]

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you the First, the Original, the One and Only, **FUGLY BASKET **

 

 

***********

Ta-da!!

 

 

 

As you can see, it is a very versatile piece and can be used in numerous ways - as a pen holder, a crochet hook holder, a gift bag....It also makes a nice pop-can holder. The possiblities are endless, not to mention the sheer enjoyment you get from gazing at it. Makes a great conversation piece, too! Get your orders in Ladies and Gents. This is a limited edition. And no, this one is not for sale. Sorry. It's for my best ex-friend, Paulette . It will be making the trip to California in the morning. And don't worry Paulette, it's completely tamed and house-broken now.

Alrighty then, any more challenges?

 

 

OH, Shelle, where do I start. I'm speechless. no, literally, I'm gagging. That back (is that the back?) looks like it's molting, the front looks like it's puking in technicolor, and that spot in the middle looks like the place where you had to beat it down.... and it ate the little mouse... how sad.

Attention: DO not, I repeat DO NOT send this picture to the "you crocheted what?" site.

This is art, people. That's what I'm talking about. When a person can put together something that sucks in every way imaginable, along with some other, um, colors, and come up with THAT lovely piece of.... gorgeousness! oh, and I know just where that's gonna go... (no, not the local landfill)... right next to my crochet chair to display my fancy hooks!!!! oh, yeah. I'm showing that bad puppy off!

I of course will occassionally share with museums; you know when you're looking at the items on display and it says "on loan from the private collection of Thurgood Wiensmacker III"...

Shelle, you are so kind to have house-trained it, too! I found out it likes to eat rusty nuts and bolts, lawnmower blades, and (?) JELLO - always room for Jello! It is scared of wind chimes and hummingbirds (we grow 'em big here in SoCal - saw a two incher just this morning) and seems to be particularly partial to a CD I have of the London Philharmonic performing Led Zeppelin classics. It LIKES the sound of the vaccuum which I discovered when my son was vaccuuming and it came out and started nuzzling him.

About your hands... uh, sorry 'bout that - but I WARNED YOU!!! Perhaps you can soak them in dishwashing liquid.... "dishwashing liquid? You're soaking in it." (those of you who know what I'm referring to are dating yourselves - those who don't, ask your mom). But since you did so well with it and made such a grand statement, would you like more? That first skein only took two days to get to you! As soon as they replace your mailman (and mailbox) and your hands heal up.... NO? Oh, I see where this is going. Making a second one would bring down the value of the first one - it is the only one like it!

Now, about that tire cover pattern...

[Shelleden]

But since you did so well with it and made such a grand statement, would you like more?

er, I mean, No, thankyou.

[Chrome Kitty]

OMG! Did you pee yourself laughing when you were making that? Is that your free skein of Mr. Brown Bernat Disco on the back? Now I know what to do with mine! I've been waiting for the perfect pattern to come along to highlight the divine texture of that stuff. It's a perfect pairing with the fugly yarn. I can just imagine how that multi-purpose container feels with the abrasive raw silk floor scrapings and the plastic garland-like texture of the Disco. If it were mine, I'd cuddle with it at bedtime. After taking another look at it, I realize it is cute in a wierd way. It's like certain boys we've all met that you know are so wrong for you and will hurt you, but there's just something about them you can't resist . . .

[xmaystarx]

back (is that the back?) looks like it's molting, the front looks like it's puking in technicolor

 

 

HAHAHA!!! Great description!

[thery4]

OMG....that's all I can say! OMG:clap

[Katchkan]

This makes me very glad I work with thread. It might be housebroken now, but I bet it still sheds.........I would also be very selective what you put in it. It just might not come back out.

[Roli]

Paulette and Shelle, your fame will be legend! Not only here, but in all crochet and yarn forums everywhere. People will be demanding more fugly yarn to make more and more fugly mouse-eating baskets and the ebay seller :ebaywill be besieged with requests for more and more floor sweepings. A shortage will develop and the poor souls who actually work at the looms will finally see their ships come in as they sweep tirelessly night and day. The economy of a whole country hangs in the balance as Paulette and Shelle rise to the occasion to meet the demand!

[Katchkan]

Paulette and Shelle, your fame will be legend! Not only here, but in all crochet and yarn forums everywhere. People will be demanding more fugly yarn to make more and more fugly mouse-eating baskets and the ebay seller :ebaywill be besieged with requests for more and more floor sweepings. A shortage will develop and the poor souls who actually work at the looms will finally see their ships come in as they sweep tirelessly night and day. The economy of a whole country hangs in the balance as Paulette and Shelle rise to the occasion to meet the demand!

But on the flip side. If just one of these escapes captivity, we could lose all of New York. Then where would we be.

[andip470]

My oh my - I started to read this thread because the title was interesting.

 

I kept reading because I was laughing my fanny off!!!!! It needs some reduction anyway.

 

I'm glad that I was home alone because my family would add this behavior to the list of things that define my craziness.

 

A perfect way to reduce the stress after a long day of getting beat up by cranky customers.

 

THANK YOU all

 

Isn't it funny that we are all compelled to make something with the "fugly" yarns that find their way into our stash because we paid good money for it??

[funkyreporter]

My oh my - I started to read this thread because the title was interesting.

 

I kept reading because I was laughing my fanny off!!!!! It needs some reduction anyway.

 

I'm glad that I was home alone because my family would add this behavior to the list of things that define my craziness.

 

A perfect way to reduce the stress after a long day of getting beat up by cranky customers.

 

THANK YOU all

 

Isn't it funny that we are all compelled to make something with the "fugly" yarns that find their way into our stash because we paid good money for it??

 

OH, Dear... a new villager and what have you gotten yourself into...

 

First, Hon, I don't think your fanny needs reduction - they need to make the chairs BIGGER! I don't know about you all, but I think chairs are getting smaller - just my opinion of course.

 

Now, as far as being glad your family isn't home I can relate to that... I know all members of my family keep notes to use at the committment hearing: won't they be surprised when I say, "Fugly, attack! Good Fugly. Now here's a Fugly treat - some nice rusty barbed wire! That's my little Fugly-Wugly." (nah, they'll probably use that for the committment hearing too... do YA THINK?????)

 

Oh, and you have cranky customers? I have cranky customers too. My cranky people are genrerally going to rehab, county jail or prison... don't know why they're so cranky... geez, they don't have to be so negative about everything! It is so very impolite to throw a chair in a courtroom, but I gotta hand it to 'em - to be able to lob a chair ten feet with your hands cuffed behind your back does take a certain amount of dexterity and determination!

 

And, yes, my dear, no matter how hideous the yarn, if it is ours we MUST CREATE!!!! no yarn will go unhooked!

 

BTW, does everybody know that Michael's has Lion Homespun on sale for $3.67 a skein this week? I filled up the back of the Land Rover with about 20 skeins. Told hubby I was going to Michael's but only came in with one bag of Wool-ease and he says, "Oh, honey, you did really good..." Yeah. I did really good. Now I gotta slip the other 20 skeins in when he's not here... dang it.

[funkyreporter]

But since you did so well with it and made such a grand statement, would you like more?

 

 

 

er, I mean, No, thankyou.

 

Ah, come on, Shelle, tell me how you really feel!

[andip470]

OH, Dear... a new villager and what have you gotten yourself into...

 

First, Hon, I don't think your fanny needs reduction - they need to make the chairs BIGGER! I don't know about you all, but I think chairs are getting smaller - just my opinion of course.

 

Now, as far as being glad your family isn't home I can relate to that... I know all members of my family keep notes to use at the committment hearing: won't they be surprised when I say, "Fugly, attack! Good Fugly. Now here's a Fugly treat - some nice rusty barbed wire! That's my little Fugly-Wugly." (nah, they'll probably use that for the committment hearing too... do YA THINK?????)

 

Oh, and you have cranky customers? I have cranky customers too. My cranky people are genrerally going to rehab, county jail or prison... don't know why they're so cranky... geez, they don't have to be so negative about everything! It is so very impolite to throw a chair in a courtroom, but I gotta hand it to 'em - to be able to lob a chair ten feet with your hands cuffed behind your back does take a certain amount of dexterity and determination!

 

And, yes, my dear, no matter how hideous the yarn, if it is ours we MUST CREATE!!!! no yarn will go unhooked!

 

BTW, does everybody know that Michael's has Lion Homespun on sale for $3.67 a skein this week? I filled up the back of the Land Rover with about 20 skeins. Told hubby I was going to Michael's but only came in with one bag of Wool-ease and he says, "Oh, honey, you did really good..." Yeah. I did really good. Now I gotta slip the other 20 skeins in when he's not here... dang it.

 

I solved the chair issue by buying a balance ball chair for my "cube" at work. Actually I have back issues and it helps when I'm ON THE BALL at work:lol (the family has added this action to their list as well) I'm becoming an exhibit, people from other departments are coming to gawk at the chair. One lady on my floor, brings tour groups twice a day.

 

I work in a customer service call center for a financial institution and folks can get downright cranky about their money. It is the bank's fault that they "forgot" to make a deposit or record a check (is that what that register thingy is for?) We should know that they moved two years ago and did not get their statements and therefore cannot possibly be responsible for the fact that their account is overdrawn since there was NO WAY they are going to pay the "insignifigant" funds charges. We are going to write a book and start a support group for customer service professionals.

 

My mom called to tell me that our local Hancock Fabrics is closing and all yarn is 30% off. They only carry Lion Brand. I went last week and bought $90 worth. Stopped again last nite and bought the rest of the baby homespun (22skeins) Thought I'd be slick and leave it in the van. Don't you know that DH used my van this morning to drive the girls to school????