What do you say?

[Cocoa Cream]

How do you tell people that you really do want them to use the things you crocheted for them? I ask this because I know alot of people are hesitant to use things that someone has made for them because it is so special, but as the giver I truly want to see my gifts used and worn out from love. My MIL told me when we were home for Thanksgiving that she feels bad using the afghans her mother made because she wants them to last and not get dirty, etc. I also made her an afghan last year for Christmas, and I've never seen it since then. I'm guessing she doesn't want to use it for the same reason...but I really meant for her to use it until it's practically falling apart. Otherwise, I wouldn't make anything for anyone. I don't want my work just sitting in the closet collecting dust. But how do you tell someone that politely, lovingly, in a way they will understand? I'm making her a tote bag this year,and I really hope she'll actually use it.

[RusticOkie]

I think what you said here sounded just fine. Tell her that you enjoy making things to be used and enjoyed. That you understand the desire to keep things from getting dirty or worn out but that is truely what they intended for, to be enjoyed.

 

Maybe talk about that around her if you don't want to be so direct. You could Say: "I was visiting so and so and they were using the afghan I made for them. I was so happy to see that it was being enjoyed so much. That's the best part about making things for people" Maybe she'll get the hint.

[Lady_of_Roses]

I just tell them that they are meant to be used! Unfortunately, with the people who have been 'saving' them to keep them perfect, no matter what I say, I can't get them to use them anyhow!

[Selune]

I can't really say anything against "saving" things to keep them preserved. I have a few things from my grandmother that I wouldn't think of using because I don't want to get them messed up. I display them, instead. I think/hope you'll find that the recipient will probably use the tote. Totes aren't really considered an heirloom item, so are more likely to be used.

 

Either way, all you can do is give and I'm sure the recipient is grateful whether they use the item or not.

[catsncrochet]

This is why I refuse to crochet anything for certain people, because I know that whatever I give to them will end up in a cupboard and continue to stay in that same spot for years to come.

 

Perhaps this is part of the reason why I started making "snuggles" for my local animal shelter. I know whatever I make will get used and offer comfort to those who truly need it.

[crpstx]

My MIL always "put things away for good" and hardly ever used things I crocheted for her. I just up and told her I made the afghans to keep her and others warm, so use them already!!

[beth eathorne]

i always include washing instructions with my gifts like afghans and baby items. This way they know i expect them to get dirty.

[barbara james]

I include washing instructions, too, Beth. And I tell folks that I intend for these things to be used. I even tell them that I will make them another if they wear it out. And so far most of the things have been. The only exceptions have been the doilies I have given my nephew and his wife. They have framed them and used them as the decorating theme for their bedroom and the guest room. So, I guess they are still using them in a way.

[croschet03]

I always tell the recipient not to be afraid to use it cause that's my intentions. Im pretty sure my afghans are used by almost everyone I have given one too.

I gave an afghan to my former boss lady 3 years ago and she still has not taken the ribbon bow off it. Still folded up and tied with my care instructions tag and everything. We get together at once a month or so and I always ask her if she opened it yet and her kids and I plot, in front of her, and how to get it opened.

[Craw]

My grandmother made me a queen size blanket when I got married. I will NEVER use it. It's absolutely beautiful and my cats trash everything. One o' these days I'll get around to making my own and use that one. If the cats trash it, I can make another one but, my grandmother is gone many years now. She can never make me another one. So sometimes it wouldn't matter what you say, some people aren't going to use the gift anyway. I might tell people to go ahead and use it, I can make another when it wears out. But, if after I die, people won't use my gifts because they treasure them and want to preserve them, I don't think I'll mind.

[KER828]

A gift is just that a gift - once you give it away you have no control over what is done with it. If you give it with strings it is no longer a gift. All you can do is include instructions which say how to use and wash and then let it go.

[photojenic]

Isn't there a line from the Velveteen Rabbit about a toy not being happy unless it's been loved by a child?

 

Maybe you could add a note saying that "A crochet (blanket/mitts/dishcloth) will never be happy until it's been used. Must. Use. The. Handmades!"

[mescovedo]

I understand - I made a baby afghan for my uncle's new baby last year around this time and sent it to them early this year. I received a wonderful thank you call but then when they came to visit my uncle's wife flat out told me that "it's put up b/c it's so pretty they don't want anything to happen to it"... well I made it to be used by the baby. And I made it really big so that he would have it even as a toddler. But like my friend tells me; we're making it for them and we can't tell them how to use it or what to do with it. Once we give it, it's on them. It hurt my feelings initially and I probably won't make them another unless specifically asked to.

[bethintx1]

I would say, "I made this especially for you to...

 

• wear to church."
  
• cuddle under on cold nights."
  
• pass on to your grandchildren."
  
• use on your dining room table every day."
  
• give your dog/cat something to sleep on."
  
• keep your tea warm."
  
• cover your sofa."
  
• keep for good times only."
  

Add your own. Then, if they do not use it as you intended, they will be at fault. Not you for not communicating your intention.

[Cocoa Cream]

Thanks for all the input. I did include a note with the afghan I made my MIL last year saying something about hoping it would keep her warm and remind her of my love every time she uses it...but apparently that didn't work, since I've not seen it since. But I suppose I will try hinting a bit more by including a little note with the tote this time...maybe suggesting she could use it for her own crochet work or music books. I know that when I give something it is no longer my own, and I have no control over what happens to it...but I just want people to know it is OKAY to use what I made.

[Wiste]

I think it's okay to just tell them. I think sometimes people realize they have pets/children who destroy things and would feel embarassed if something happened to your gift. I bought a dress for my sister's little girl to wear for a special occassion. A few months later my sister mentioned how my niece was always asking to wear "the pretty dress" but she didn't want it to get ruined. I told her, "She's going to grow out of it soon so you might as well let her wear it now."

[KER828]

I understand - I made a baby afghan for my uncle's new baby last year around this time and sent it to them early this year. I received a wonderful thank you call but then when they came to visit my uncle's wife flat out told me that "it's put up b/c it's so pretty they don't want anything to happen to it"... well I made it to be used by the baby. And I made it really big so that he would have it even as a toddler. But like my friend tells me; we're making it for them and we can't tell them how to use it or what to do with it. Once we give it, it's on them. It hurt my feelings initially and I probably won't make them another unless specifically asked to.

 

I've had some I've made used and used and I've told the moms if they need me to replace it because it wears out just let me know. A few of them have!!

[PBLKNP]

I had this issue one year with some good friends for whom I had crocheted an afghan. They were actually keeping it in a plastic bag, tucked away, because they were afraid of it getting dirty. They didn't realize that it was 100% acrylic and machine washable! Once I explained that to them, they now use it all the time...

[HappyOldCro]

My youngest son's wife took all the baby things I made for her son (1st child) and put them away to save. Took her a few years to realize that it was OK to use them. Their next baby was a girl, and because I used neutral pastels, I was thrilled to see her wearing a hooded sweater I had made for the first one. I was grinning all day....

[terrijo]

I love making dishcloths between other projects so I always have MANY put away to pass on to friends and family. Thanksgiving was at my sisters this year so I took dishcloths out there with me. I had a pile of them. Everyone took what they wanted. My sister who hosted the party said that they were too pretty to use so she has a whole drawer of them. I promptly took one out of the drawer and threw it into the sink. My neice is cahoots with me to use them all the time and so now they are being used.

 

Whenever I give an afghan I tell the receipient that when they wrap up in the blanket it's a hug from me. I also tell them when it's "used up" I will make them another one.

 

But.....my step-sister is 6 feet tall. I made her a HUGE afghan in the colors she requested. When it was sent back from Nevada in 4 months with a hole in it smelling of dog I got it repaired (by my aunt) and I will never make her another one. My daughters dog chewed up a big , beautiful afghan I made her and she will never get another one. Her daughter got many baby blankets when she was born and they have survived. My other 3 kids use their afghans all the time and so far I haven't had one used up, or chewed up. The very first afghan I made from a pattern still is on my sisters bed. I'm very generous in gifting afghans, my neighbor has 6. But, if I give one to someone and then never see it I asked if they liked it. There are some people that don't like crocheted items. I ask so I don't make the same mistake (of giving them something I made) again.

[zeropixie]

I have the opposite problem with my brother. He really likes the hats I make him so much so that I have to throw them out for him . He gets at least four new hats every Christmas.

[RusticOkie]

I have to say that I can somewhat understand not wanting to use items made by family members now that I stop and think about it. My grandmother made 2 crocheted baby blankets for my dd. I used one when she was tiny during the winter because it was warm but only in the house, it was not to be taken outside, shopping, etc. Because I didn't want it to be ruined. The other I have just now put in her crib since its winter again (its larger).

 

At first I didn't want to use them because I didn't want anything to happen to them but then I realized that they wouldn't be special if she didn't get to use them. They wouldn't have that special memory tied to them so I got them out. I am still very careful with them and don't let her just drag them around the house but I realize they are much more meaningful when they are loved and used rather than but away and forgotten about.

[DawnofMarch]

My MIL told me when we were home for Thanksgiving that she feels bad using the afghans her mother made because she wants them to last and not get dirty, etc.

 

When I was a kid, my Mom had this old afghan that she made long before I was born. We used it all the time. So long as they are not super roughly handled, the afghans shouldn't fall apart or appear dirty, or fade too... I used to love watching the afghan in the dryer at the laundromat. The pretty colors were hypnotic!

 

Oh and I just remembered. I used to use that afghan all the time to make my Elder sister's bunkbeds into a tent for myself and all my stuffed toys to hide away from the boogiemen in the forest (my sister's bedroom) *sigh, warm memories... *

 

I'm going on my 21 birthday come March and I'm sure if it hadn't gotten stolen, my mother would still have it today and still be using it. Man I miss that afghan... *sigh*

 

I need to find my crochet hook. Dunno how that wound up lost!

[DawnofMarch]

I have the opposite problem with my brother. He really likes the hats I make him so much so that I have to throw them out for him . He gets at least four new hats every Christmas.

 

I can't wait till I learn to make my own Hats... and other winter things...

[grrlsmom]

I specifically tell them to use it, and that the highest compliment they could pay me would be to tell me a few years down the road that the item is worn out! I want to crochet memories, not heirlooms.