need to type it out loud

[ChayaSar]

I got yelled at today by my kid sister, b/c I've made more items for my in-laws that I have for "my family". For example, my nephew Gavin, my mil, and my sil have all received blankets made by me, and only my oldest dd, and my mom have received on my side of the family. And i want to explain here, b/c I think you all might understand what my sister missed.

 

My own children, aren't getting blankets until their 5th birthdays. I wanted them to be old enough to remember when mommy gave it to them. This was great with my oldest, she is so proud of hers, and takes real good care of it. January 2008 my 2nd daughter will get one too. SO I figured that I would make blankets for my neices and nephew when they turned 5. Well my nephew got one before his 5th b-day, b/c I started a baby blanket for him, and never finished till he was 2, so he got it then.

 

My Mil got one the year my hubby and I got married, and I worked real hard on it, and I wanted to impress her, b/c she is SOOOOOOOOO CRAFTY, she's a floral designer, and scrapbooker, and she makes baskets, and she just has such a creative mind. My SIL is gavinsmom on this board.... you should see the great jewlery, scrapbook pages, and crocheted items that she makes... again super crafty. And it's stupid but among my in-laws I feel the need to impress them. Crochet is my only real craft, the only one I started before my SIL did.... and frankly it took me 3 YEARS to finally finish her blanket she got this year, it was supposed to be a wedding present.

 

My neice AMber is getting a blanket for her next birthday in March.... but she is turning 8!! And she has been asking me for something I make her myself. My older sister always says something, my younger sister yelled today, and I'm so frustrated. My in-laws are all crafty, and I know they appreciate the time that goes into things. My family is all usually store bought only snob people, and I don't think they'll actually use anything except blankets, and I have a very long turn around time on those, I mean really, I am BAD about blanket deadlines.... something I am working on.

 

ANd the fact that she yelled at me, makes me NEVER want to make her a blanket. SHe is pregnant, and I told her I planned on making other things for her baby, but that for a blanket I am sticking to the age 5 rule, and she didnt like it at all.

 

I dunno, I just dont know how to make them understand. And how do i keep from knocking her block off when she starts up?? BAHHHH

 

ok im done and dont even know if i have made any sense, but i feel better.

[cgd]

Families can be fun sometimes! Sounds like she needs to chill out and be grateful for the wonderful things you've planned on making for her baby. Or maybe she can learn to crochet to take some of the heat off of you!

[niqita]

I agree with cgd teach her how to crochet them she can also make the family things

[angieInCA]

I'm sorry but a gift is just that --- a gift! I only make things for people who I KNOW will appreciate the work I put into it. If anyone demanded I produce a gift for them I do believe that the person would never receive one from me again. How inconsiderate of anyone to think they can demand you make them something. If they want a hand crocheted item so bad maybe you should buy them some yarn and a hook and tell them to have at it:hook

[lhasaapsolady]

Your sis needs to take a chill pill. The next time she starts explain this is the age they will get it, and if she wants something bad enough before that time, then she can learn to do it herself.

[Phoenix]

I agree with the rest of the folks so far- if you are making a gift yourself, you get to decide when where and who. Nobody gets to demand a gift - especially when you aren't excluding anyone, but actually have a reasonable rule in place! It might be different if you flat out never made them anything even though they loved homemade gifts...but that ain't this situation.

 

If your sister demands a blanket and isn't satisfied with the baby things you were going to make...well, you don't hafta make baby things, or a blanket. It's out of the goodness of yoru heart, and if baby things alone isn't good enough...well, why make them? Donate some to charity instead

 

I'm a bit mean on this, but people demanding hand-made gifts gets to me- especially if they don't espeically appreciate them!

[neicy crochets]

Where would we be without our families!?!?!?! Do what you want to do, when you can do it. I agree with the other posts, teach her to crochet if she wants one that bad! Hang in there Kid!

[darski]

I think it is Christmas time and people just go so far over the emotional edge that it belies the point of the "season" completely.

 

When Christians ask me why I don't do "Christmas" I point them to stuff like this harried and harrassed time.

 

People, take a deep breath and let it all go. Nothing in life is worth all this angst and you not only ruin this year's Christmas Family time but you are well on the way to setting up blood feuds for the next several years.

 

Can't we all just get along?

[Mom w/a Motif]

What Darski said about the emotional edge... I was also thinking... you said she is pregnant... could it be hormones? (I was really hormonal when I was pregnant....) My husband looked at me the wrong way and I'd be off in the other room crying....

 

Sorry you're getting yelled at.

 

Tina

[christinascrochethaven]

Okay, so she's pregnant and not thinking clearly. (My first guess)

 

So you have to bear the burden of getting yelled at.....(I'm truly sorry)

 

Well, Christmas does bring out the worst and best in people.

 

As I just got done reading about the climbers on Mount Hood in Oregon, in the scope of things....life is too short for arguing.

 

My brother and I don't get along, but I would hate to have to give up on searching for him and believe he was dead without a body.

 

Be grateful for the family that you have....1 man is dead and 2 are believed to be dead and 3 families have lost them this Christmas.

[gavinsmom]

Ada if I were you I would tell Doris to bite me :

 

I love my blanket even though it did take you 3 years to make it :

 

Seriously though I think she needs to get over herself. Mom has never gotten a blanket from me, I've never made one for you, yea Jadyn got one but thats a different story. I haven't made any blankets for anyone on my side of the family. Last Christmas I made them for Alex's parents, Alex's aunt, Alex's sister, and Alex's brother .... this year I'm making one for his grandparents. Is it because I don't love my family? NO. But really I don't need to impress them. Yes you all get homemade gifts from me sometimes too but I haven't done blankets. Didn't you make amber a pillow last year? Will you all get a blanket from me sooner or latter? Yea probably but it will probably be latter rather than sooner :

 

I say don't let her get to you.

[ChayaSar]

i'm so glad you llove the blanket Danielle, makes me feel warm thinking people like the gifts i give them!

 

the thing is, she knows how to crochet, lol. (my sister who yelled)

 

thanks for backing me up everyone, I feel like i have an online posse ready to defend me at will,

[Brandybuck]

I have to agree with everyone else here, don't let it get to you. Especially since you just posted that she actually knows how to crochet I have to ask if she's ever made gifts for the family. If yes, then maybe when she wasn't insanely hormonal(like my best friend was when SHE was preggers) that might be acceptable. If no, then she's got all the time in the world while having to stay off her feet to rustle up some blankets, right? Don't let her drive you insane, just enjoy the season and perhaps purchase a set of earplugs. And the posse's ready to ride out when you give the word...

[Mandys76]

I can't believe you got yelled at!!!!

 

Where does she get off EXPECTING a gift of any kind? Last I heard, gifts were just that, gifts. Something you give to someone because you genuinely want to, not because they ask for it.

 

To me, she's sounding very jealous, and a little bit immature on this topic. You have a valid reason for not making blankets for young ones, and as for the adults, if you get the impression what you make wouldn't be appreciated, then why would you? I wouldn't want to spend years on a blanket (mine sometimes take this long to make as well), to have it taken for granted, not appreciated or anything like that.

 

I've made some things for family. I recently presented my neice (my only god daughter of my sisters 4 kids) with a blanket I had made. My other neices and nephews don't have one, but they didn't squabble.

 

I've actually gone to the trouble of making a big blanket for my aunt and uncles bed (to match their bedroom suite) only to have them give it back to me a few years later! Apparently they didn't want it any more...I would never make them anything again.

 

I've made my father a blanket for Christmas, and I know how he'll react. He'll probably shed a tear or two. He really appreciates how long I spend and how much love I've woven into that blanket.

 

I think you've done the right thing so far. You've made blankets for people that you know will appreciate it, and for people who wouldn't necessarily expect it.

 

Stick to your guns and tell her to mind her own business! Or to make it herself.

[Auntie Kellie]

To be honest, I have a bit of a mean streak when it comes to those demanding gifts in my family. A close friend of mine that I considered family had demanded an afghan from me. To make a long story short, she only got a box of yarn and a hook with a simple note telling her to make it herself. I eventually got the box back with one skien a tangled mess from her attempt and a heartfelt apology. She got her blanket when I had the time to make it and it constantly holds a place of honour on her couch.

 

Like everyone else has said, don't let them push you into making things they won't appreciate. Keep to the rules you have laid down and don't feel bad about it. When my family requests a handmade item from me, they know I will do it when I have time and demanding it sooner results in them having to make it themselves. It could just be her hormones from being pregnant but she should still respect the way you do things.

 

Hugs and Cookies

Auntie K

[craftybutterfly]

I Ditto what most everybody else said. For Christmas, I'd buy her some hooks, yarn, and a "learn to crochet" book, and tell her to git'er done!

[KellieD]

I'm thinking that it might be a simple case of feeling like you love your in-laws more than you love her.

[amdm]

I, too, feel she is just jealous, and resents the affection you have for your in-laws.

[zazzu]

I, too, feel she is just jealous, and resents the affection you have for your in-laws.

I completely agree with this. IMO, you should NEVER discuss your in-laws with your sister. It's obvious she has a problem with them. If she asks you about them, you should change the subject or simply say "I don't want to discuss my in-laws with you." Period.

 

If you give in to her demands and make her a blanket, you are rewarding her bad behavior. She'll keep making childish demands of you because she knows it will get her what she wants.

 

Of course, it's entirely up to you. Good luck.