well, that was a mistake

[lene]

The Christmas before last I spent a considerable amount of time stitching a lacey shell-stitch scarf for a friend of mine, done with a scarlet mohair yarn. It turned out to be lovely, and I was *so* pleased with it. When I gave it to her, I got the impression she thought it was pretty, but in a "Oh, look how sweet you are, and how precious, you made me a little gift" way, like I'd made her an especially intricate macaroni-and-dried-bean collage showing Washington crossing the Delaware. Know what I mean? LOL

 

Anyway, today she tells me that the scarf has become her new kitty's favorite plaything/bedtime blanket, and that he loves to drag it around in his mouth.

 

<sigh>

 

I just laughed and said "Yeah, it sounds like it's quite the cat toy. Wonder what it is about kitties and crochet?" Because it's just not worth getting my knickers in a twist over it, ya know? But I also don't plan to waste any more time crocheting gifts for her. I do live and learn. <g>

 

Lene'

[luvmnms]

oh this is so sad I'm sorry she treated your gift that way

like you said, "live and learn", and don't make anything for her again.

[Barbara]

Oh my word. Your heart probably sank into your stomach when you heard that. Mine almost did just from reading this.

 

You're not alone, though. I spent two months crocheting an afghan for a young couple's wedding shower they were having at our church. I couldn't attend personally, but dropped it off at the church a couple of hours before the shower.

I never heard a word about the afghan....not a thank you note, a verbal thanks.....nothing. Since I wasn't there in person I don't even know if she looked disappointed when she opened the package....lol. She probably did. Normally people get excited enough to say thank you when they really like something. Oh well. I learned my lesson.

[grrlsmom]

Awwww, that hurts. Some people get it, some don't, it's just hard finding out who's who at first.

[christinascrochethaven]

Ouch.... I know. I've been there too. Live and learn. I bet it was beautiful.. Hugs for you.

[luvmnms]

Barbara to you.

I'm sure you put a lot of time and love into that afghan and your efforts went unnoticed.

I made an afghan for everyone one year for Christmas, and when I took it to the newest SIL, she just looked at it, didn't say that she liked it, or even thank you, but got up from the couch, said, "I have just the right place for it", stood at the top of the stairs to her basement and just heaved it down there . I just kept my mouth shut, didn't want to cause a scene. Later while she was outside smoking, I took a peak downstairs, and the afghan was half on the couch and half on the floor. I haven't seen the afghan since.

[AlyBlu]

Well - the kitty more than likely is aware of the love and energy you put into it and that is why the kitty loves it (either that or the mohair!) So if she can't appreciate it - atleast the kitty is.

 

I am sorry your work was treated with such disregard.

[diamond]

I think all crocheters have been there a time or two. I made my MIL a fabulous shawl (very lacy & feminine) after she kept begging me to make her one. It was gorgeous! Probably my finest piece of work to date. It had fringe (and you all know how long it takes to fringe pieces) with very light-weight beads spaced throughout the fringe. After about a year of seeing her almost every other day and never once with the shawl, I had about forgotten the shawl. Finally my BIL calls me and asks if it would be ok if he took the shawl to his 2nd home in Georgia. He said it was the perfect everything to lay across the back of his sofa and he would love to have it. I asked him what his mother would think of him taking it. He said she had it in a bag to go to the Goodwill. Never once did she mention she didn't like it for any reason. She was sending it to the Goodwill instead of giving it back to me (which I always tell people to give me back my gifts if they no longer want them as a lot of time & money go into making each piece). So now that beautiful shawl lays over a sofa in a house in Georgia where my BIL and his partner cherish it and love telling the story of how they acquired it from my MIL.

 

Next time your friend requests you make her something, don't and let her know why. And don't just make her something thinking she might like it. You just never know with people. Why can't they just tell the truth and WHY would she tell you it's now her cats blanket? How rude she is.

[Barbara]

Tammy, people can be so cruel. If I had personally witnessed this like you did, I don't think I could've kept my mouth shut. You and Lene are nicer people than I am....lol.

[lene]

My jaw dropped at the "throw the afghan down the stairs" story. Yikes! I doubt if I'd have commented at the time, but I imagine my expression alone would have spoken volumes. Looking astounded at someone's rudeness can sometimes be all the comment necessary. <g>

 

Barbara, I feel so sorry that you didn't even get a *token* thank you. Empty words are better than *nothing* in such cases, I think -- at least you'd know they were aware that you'd made them a gift. <sigh> I can never understand why someone wouldn't just love to get an afghan; I would fall all over myself with pleasure if someone made one for me.

 

I will say, I've met the little cat in question, and he's adorable. I'm a sucker for cats (well, and dogs, too) and I'd actually have been happy to make him a blankie all for himself, *not* using the nice scarlet mohair. And since my friend obviously lacks the taste to appreciate the scarf <g> (and it *was* mighty fine) then Huey may as well be the one to enjoy it. Still, it did chap my butt a bit, I admit. Heh, I even called my hubby at work to tell him about it, and to his credit, after he stopped laughing himself silly, he was propely indignant on my behalf. LOL

 

Lene'

[catsncrochet]

Well, at least the cat seems to be getting some enjoyment out of it. lol.

 

I think there are certain types of people that just don't get the whole homemade gift idea and don't know how to appreciate such gifts. Since they themselves don't know how to crochet, they have no concept of how much time, energy, and sometimes money, goes into making a gift.

 

Aimee

[luvmnms]

Barbara, I think I was too shocked to say anything!

Lene, it's been a few years, but every time I go to their house, I look for the afghan, just to see if it's still there. I haven't seen it in awhile.

Just from reading all the other posts here too, I suppose we all experience this at least once!

[lene]

Cheryl, sorry, I was posting just as you were.

 

I can't imagine why your MIL didn't love her shawl, or why she didn't tell you it just wasn't to her taste! It baffles me... but at least you have the pleasure of knowing it's loved and appreciated in its new home.

 

I somehow suspect the idea of asking me to make her something will never come up. She seems to be the kind of person who likes to *say* they enjoy handcrafted items, but the only ones they actually like are the ones they spend a lot of money on at little boutiques. LOL I've seen her pick up frilly cotton dishcloths at a "little shop" and spend $10 apiece for something I could make for her in an evening for less than $2 for yarn, but the ones I made her (using similar yarn and a *very* similar pattern) are the ones she uses to scrub the floor and the shower, while the ones she spent money on are used to drape over decorative wooden buckets as an "accent" in the kitchen. Makes me laugh -- I could have saved her the money, but you see, the ones *I* made are just homemade, not "hand crafted." LOL

 

Lene'

[craftybutterfly]

Well, at least the cat seems to be getting some enjoyment out of it. lol.

 

I think there are certain types of people that just don't get the whole homemade gift idea and don't know how to appreciate such gifts. Since they themselves don't know how to crochet, they have no concept of how much time, energy, and sometimes money, goes into making a gift.

 

Aimee

 

 

You're right Aimee. I know people like that. To them, home made = "you were too cheap to buy me something". They dont understand, therefore can not appreciate, the work, energy, love, and time, that go into something hand made. It's sad.

[Croshay]

Boy do I know the feeling. One time I spent MONTHS knitting a vest for someone who never even wore it...then when I asked if I could have it back for myself & said I'd make them another one, I was told they didn't even know where it was. It's really disappointing...and it just makes me more selective about WHO I make things for now.

[Pumpkinmouse]

Boy some people I tell ya.... One time something like that happened to me I gave a friend a doily (it was large and intricate) I made for her birthday. She actually looked at me and said "and what am I suppose to do with this?"

 

Oh boy I told her what she could do with it and Im hoping its still rammed up there

 

Needless to say I am no longer friends with this person

[missamorphosis]

Wow. A cat toy. Eep.

I'm so sorry you had to endure that. So far, I haven't, and I hope I never have to. Personally, I don't think I'd ever make that person another thing.

 

I made my Mom & Dad both afghans last year. I have a SIL who likes to take things that doesn't belong to her, and I told my parents that if either of those afghans come up missing, my SIL will have to deal with me. My Dad keeps his on the truck with him (which was what it was intended for), and my Mom keeps hers on the back of the couch unless she herself is wrapped in it. No one ever even offers to touch it.

[luvmnms]

Oh boy I told her what she could do with it and Im hoping its still rammed up there

 

 

:rofl

 

too funny, but what a waste {no pun intended} of a doily!

[kmadel]

***! Those are terrible stories! I cannot even fathom ever being so incredibly rude to someone who just gave me a gift ~ handmade or otherwise ~ even if I didn't like it! How can people be like that?

I've been planning on making my cousin & her partner an afghan for their wedding next fall, but now I'm afraid! Geez!

~ Krista

[kmadel]

It's really disappointing...and it just makes me more selective about WHO I make things for now.

 

I guess that's the key! There are definitely people in my family who I will not make things for because I know they don't appreciate it. I have 3 aunts and a couple cousins who love and cherish anything handmade by someone in the family especially if it was specifically for them. Those are the people I pick out to make things for and I try extra hard to make things they'll truly like, too!

[HannaH]

My Mom and Dad love them, my boyfriend is learning, but I gave one to my best friend, and she has yet to use it or anything. It is still in the bag I gave it to her in. Granted she is just visiting (having a baby at home while hubby is over seas) so maybe once she gets home she will use it. But it has been soo cold lately and nothing.... I hope this doesn't turn into one of your gals' stories!!

[skyleesmomsrb3]

You ladies should all be nominated for Sainthood. I made a teddy bear for my great-nephew for Christmas this year. It was the first "toy" that I had made. My niece was properly thankful, however, yesterday she told me that when she was changing the babies diaper the other day, he peed, and it hit the bear, that was sitting on his changing table. Now I know that his peeing on it was an accident, he's only 6 mo old after all, but Mommy should know that little boys are like fountains and should not have had it in "firing" range. I had about 3 months time into it, and now it smells.

I have a blister the size of a dime on the inside of my cheek from biting my tongue.!! lol

[Mommy2Max]

You guys are making me VERY wary of who I make gifts for! Everyone I've given things to has always been very appreciative (at least, to my face!).

 

I was thinking about making my SIL a blanket for my new niece/nephew, who is due in August, but she's kind of snotty. Making me second guess whether I should do it or not!

 

Your friend's cat is very lucky to have such a pretty and thoughtful gift. At least HE has the class to show appreciation and enjoy handmade things!!!

[zazzu]

 

Some of these stories of blatant ingratitude are absolutely appalling!!

 

What gets me is that, so often, a relative/friend requests (or demands) a crocheted item, then receives it and treats it like trash. It's as if they planned to act like a rude jerk all along just to abuse the crocheter. You know, that toxic drama that some people like to stir up.

 

This is making me too mad. I have to go read a happy thread now.

[Minathia]

i just went through the entire archives of a comic to find this one

 

http://teacosieswithironylargeprint.comicgenesis.com/d/20061127.html

 

to make you feel better. And, I kinda know how you feel. I'm putting a lot of effort into making a quiltghan for my mom, and she's going to love it...and then her dog will destroy it. Oh well, I'm doing it anyway just to prove to myself I can.