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Amen, Wyndfire! My mother would have knocked me into to next week if I had ever acted even slightly unappreciative of any gift someone had given me, especially a handmade one, no matter if I loved it or hated it. Actually, did I say she 'would have', she still would and I'm 34! :2eek

:yarnKrista

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Your friend is very rude. I would never never give her not one thing again. I wouldn't even offer her coffee. It seems to me she is not a real true friend. Her cat is more important than your feelings. The lady that threw her gift down the stairs is also rude. I would have picked up the afghan and tell her you are taking it back home. Then I would take a picture of the afghan and send it to her. Tell her the afghan foumd a new loving home and this was your last gift from you. Yarn is expensive time is valuable if these people can't appreciate a gift from the heart let them go buy their own gifts. You guys are to nice.

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I've been giggling to myself today, to be honest, thinking about that silly cat dragging the fuzzy (and now undoubtedly *much* fuzzy) scarf all over the house. I admit, my feelings were a little hurt, but in retrospect, it does make me laugh, because it's just so tacky and rude that it becomes funny to me.

 

And the story about the replacement stocking really touched me. what a sweetheart she is!

 

Lene'

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***! :eek Those are terrible stories! I cannot even fathom ever being so incredibly rude to someone who just gave me a gift ~ handmade or otherwise ~ even if I didn't like it! How can people be like that? :no

 

I've been planning on making my cousin & her partner an afghan for their wedding next fall, but now I'm afraid! Geez! :rolleyes

 

~ Krista

 

I did a afghan for my goddaughter(wedding gift) & I never saw it ard. either. Then gave her a baby afghan and didn't see that ard. anywhere. :( ...So don't plan to do that again.

 

jaye

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My MIL and SIL told me once to stop giving my homemade &*^% to them for christmas:( (I wasn't spending as much as store bought and to them wasn't equal value-so I stopped altogether!).

They also said they had enough of my dishcloths and hanging towels (which are nice and I sell:cheer them at craft fairs). Last year, after my MIL passed, I was helping to clean her things and found quite a pile of crocheted, hanging towels. I said "gee I don't remember making these" and my SIL said "you didn't, we've been buying them". :(

Ok, it takes me a while, but I finally catch on. I've also found my homemade stuff in the goodwill bag. After those experiences, it's hard to make a gift for anyone. :yes It's so hurtful.........Live and Learn.................Lise:yarn

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I refuse to make things for my MIL anymore because her reaction is always, "I just don't know how you have the time for this." :eek Well, when I slack off from caring for your son and grandchildren, that frees up a lot of my time. :lol

 

So, every Christmas all the aunties and godmothers and SILs and my mom get a hat/scarf or dishcloths or something. Next year it will be trimmed bathtowels. And MIL gets squat. :lol

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:eek :eek :eek I just found this post, Lene. I can't believe that. Nope, I wouldn't make her anything else either. I would even question whether she is a friend. (That's just me, though...) That was pretty rude.

 

I hope you don't let it get you too down. :)

 

Tina

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OUCH! Sounds like we've all been in that place a few times I have a story to share. My Best Friend has a teenage daughter who always wants me to crochet shrugs, scarves, hats etc for her she rips pages out of magazines and I try to get patterns( or make them up) and yarn as close as possible to the pictures. She wore the stuff I made her alot and always wanted more more. I couldn't keep up it was getting really expensive buying the yarn etc. . Well I didn't make her anything for a while and her Birthday was coming up and she was wanting a felted purse. So I made the purse it was really cute probably the nicest one I have made in a long time it cost me over $50.00 for handles and yarn. I made it for her birthday she took it out of the bag and in front of her friends(same friends that asked me to make them a zillion skinny scarves they wore all the time:irk) at the party she says" Oh GOD another homemade piece of crap" :bangI was infuriated, and hurt beyond belief I Left. I don't know if I was more hurt my friend didn't say anything to her daughter or what. Need less to say she has asked me for several other things since and finally I said why would you want to wear a home made piece of crap? :trymeShe was speechless!

:thair

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Reading thru this thread, I'm reminded of the saying, "No good deed goes unpunished." People are incredibly rude. This has happened to me, too, so I stopped making gifts unless they've asked me to make them, or I know for a fact that they like them.

 

One Christmas, I made shawls for everyone. I think I must have made at least six shawls that year. Only one person out of that entire group kept and wore her shawl. Last year, about 20 years later, she lost it on a train, and asked me to make her another one! I dropped everything, made it, and got it to her within two weeks of her asking. She was so appreciative. From what I've heard over the years, though, the rest of the shawls went to Goodwill. Then, one of my very best friends had been ill for quite some time, and I made her an afghan in her favorite color. When she recovered, she decided to move, and she asked me if she could "leave it behind." I told her I wanted it back if she was going to get rid of it. She never gave it back, but I've never once seen it in her house. I don't want to know what happened to it. Another time, I made a really cute hat and scarf for a little girl who had been in an accident and needed several cosmetic surgeries. I worked with her mom. I gave the gift to her mom, who literally tossed it like a Frisbee onto her desk and said, "Um...gee...thanks..." That was the turning point for me: No more crocheted gifts for anyone unless they ask me to make it for them or I know for a fact ahead of time that they love them.

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WHOA these Stories are so SAD :cry It makes me sad to read them. When I make someone something I am so proud of it to have it unappreciated is the worst! I do think though for as many people who don't appreciate these beautiful handmade gifts there are as many people who love them :sigh

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I crocheted a large center piece doily for my sister. She had a large 5ft by 10ft dining room table. There were 50 red roses in the center of the oval shaped doily and pineapples surrounding the roses. Each red rose took 1/2 hour to crochet and join so I could start the pineapples. The center piece doily was 5ft long by 4 ft wide. Sis was thrilled with the doily until it got a small stain on the white part. She threw it in the washer and that was the end of it. The red ran into the white and made a total mess of it. I had told her never put doilies in the washer but she ignored that advice. She wanted me to make another one for her and I said I never had time to do another one. I was livid.

To this day I have never made that gorgeous doily again

double2

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I forgot to tell about the time I kn*tted a vest for my niece. I was quite proud of it myself. It took me a while, and I thought I did a nice job on it. (Not to mention I used expensive, yarn store yarn...) I had to ask my SIL how she liked the vest, as I never got any feedback. Not even a thank you. She said 'I don't put it on her very much. The neck part is all loose and it stretches out too easy...' :eek and :trymeand :grumpy and :irk and:rant !!! I felt like saying "Have you ever heard the saying 'Never look a gift horse in the mouth?' " oh, and I will never make another thing for you in my life.

 

I did buy them all a little something just not too long ago. Wasted my extra money on them. Never even heard if they got the package, let alone thank you. I am done wasting my time and money on them.

 

They are supposed to be coming up here to visit in a couple weeks. This is me -> "So?" I don't want to see them or talk to them. Am I supposed to be happy? :no

 

Some people are just plain rude and don't deserve anything.

 

Tina

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:eek oh this is so sad :( I'm sorry she treated your gift that way :hug

 

like you said, "live and learn", and don't make anything for her again. :no

 

That's too bad your fine gift turned into a cat toy. You have learned a lesson. People who don't crochet don't have any idea how much effort goes into a gift. I am so sorry this happened to you.

 

Here's a :hug from me to you. I hope all the people here make you feel better.

 

:manyheart

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My MIL is right up there. I made myself a poncho which she begged for. So I gracously gave it to her. Never to be seen again.then she decided she wanted a shaw. I made a beautiful one in White chennell since she wanted to wear it for the holidays. I gave it to her two days later she told my DH she hated it and could I make her a different one. the doily she asked for is now covering my SIL's toilet top. My MIL thinks nothing of asking me to make something that she will turn around and give away because she grows tired of it. I did finally end up making a black shawl that she actually uses often. Everytime I have to deal with her I keep my mantra in my head.... I love my husband...I love my husband ... and so on.

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This thread is just so upsetting. I have read and re-read it several times, in such disbelief. I have never had anyone be so rude to me as to openly reject a handspun gift (or any gift for that matter), but I have had the experience of folks seeming less than thrilled, and never seeming to use an item. Most of my family members live in other states, so I send their gifts, but rarely even hear if they have received the item, to say nothing of whether they like them or not and so never recieve thank you's either; yet I keep sending gifts to let them know that I think of them and value them, whether they care to reciprocate or not (with the exception of my mother, who is a crafter as well and always seems to cherish what I make for her, because like most of us she never makes for herself). In these situations I try to remember to be meek, that being indignant because my feelings are hurt solves nothing, and that giving the gift should make me happy (to have had the experience to make the item and to feel that I am being benevolent) whether the recipient likes it or not. I personally, ALWAYS send a written thank you when someone has given me something or done something kind for me (my paternal grandmother instilled this into me from a very young age), and I expect my children to do the same. I also ALWAYS say appreciative words in the presence of a gift giver (because it really is the thought that counts-a gift is something the giver chooses to give, not a requirement; a requirement would be payment, not a gift) even if the item does not suit me, and I expect the same from my children.

 

I cannot believe the actions of some of these folks however, the "throwing down the stairs" and the openly calling something a piece of crap!!! Oh my!!!! Those items, I do believe I would recover from the recipient. I would then go and buy them something much less expensive and give it to them, just to let them know that what I had done for them was much more precious than some store bought item, and that they could not get the best of me for being so rude. I would then pray for them, and would also NEVER make them another item. I may never get them anything after that either, as you really must question whether someone that would be so cruel to you is a friend. It is also so very sad that no one (besides those who were offended) spoke up about the level of rudness. I try to be meek regarding what happens to me, but we should stand up and be indignant for others. Some peopl have no class, no values, no sense of decency, but we have to try to rise above that.

 

On a good note, the other day, one of the little girls at our church, whom I have crocheted many birthday and Christmas gifts for, was wearing a headband and two bracelets I made for her. She came over to thank me yet again, for giving them to her. My son's have been recounting to me all of their classmates who are wearing the wristers and necklaces that I made for them as Valentine's gifts. My eldest son's teacher ahs asked me to make a rose pin (like the one my son gave her for Valentine's day) to give to another teacher as a gift, because she went "gaga" over it. My MIL also was wearing one of the scarves I had made for her, when she dropped my B-D present off to me a few weeks ago. She had also been bragging about my crocheting skills to several co-workers who have asked to see my work, as they are interested in commissioning items. My pastor's wife told me that both of them had received many compliments on the scarves I gave them for Christmas. Another friend has worn the scarf I gave her for Christmas, every wintery day since then (In Arkansas every winter day is not wintery). My husband asked me to make a scarf for a co-worker's wife, who is very particular, and she sent me a thank you raving about how much she loves it. This is why I continue to give crocheted items as gifts, because there are those individuals who really appreciate the effort and know the value of what they have been given.

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That is awful...well just keep making the MIL BLACK to go w/ her mood.

I dont like to speak of anyones relatives but this just seemed too good to pass up:devil

My MIL is right up there. I made myself a poncho which she begged for. So I gracously gave it to her. Never to be seen again.then she decided she wanted a shaw. I made a beautiful one in White chennell since she wanted to wear it for the holidays. I gave it to her two days later she told my DH she hated it and could I make her a different one. the doily she asked for is now covering my SIL's toilet top. My MIL thinks nothing of asking me to make something that she will turn around and give away because she grows tired of it. I did finally end up making a black shawl that she actually uses often. Everytime I have to deal with her I keep my mantra in my head.... I love my husband...I love my husband ... and so on.
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My heart is breaking for you....I cannot understand some people. She should never have opened her mouth!!!!! I think she is unbelievably unkind bordering on cruel. In my younger days I would have been like you and kept my mouth shut. Now I am old as dirt and have earned the right to tell people exactly how they make me feel when they act like that!!

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i am lucky that all the people that i have made things for have loved them. my mom wears the sweater that i made her every chance she can....and uses the blanket and scarf when she is cold. my grandmother loves the scarf that i made her 2 christmases ago....and my co-workers love the layette sets that i made for their babies. my mom said that my cousin was excited to see the things that i had made for her daughter as well....i have been very lucky...and i am hoping that my friend and her fiance will be happy with their wedding gift.....it's gonna be a beautiful afgan....:)

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I'm actually working on another crocheted gift, but it's for my mom, who will love it. (I'm doing a seraphina shawl using the JoAnn rainbow boucle) and as soon as I finish the project I'm working on for myself, I'm thinking I'll make one of those for my mom, too. (I'm making my first Shrugalicious, using Lion Cotton Ease in cherry red, and I'm having to adapt the pattern a bit to work for my size 2x... I have the same yarn in a hot pink that she'd love, so that's what I'll use for her.)

 

BTW, Mom told me today she also wants me to make her a pair of cloisonnne fish dangly earrings to replace the ones she lost a few years ago, so she's really gonna score the handmade gifts on her borthday this April. LOL

 

Lene'

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my brother made a beautiful wooden planter with a cross behind it...put alot of time. effort & care into it....gave it to our dad's nephew whom just happens to be a pastor......

later it came back to our parents that he (the pastor) boasted of putting it in the flea sale for 50cents....

Imagine that...I dont know if my bro knows to this day n if not Im not gonna tell him...I know how hurt he would be.

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Oh my :eek ! These stories are very sad indeed! I'm glad the thread was initiated after Christmas, otherwise I would be very depressed. I was shocked to read the afghan story where the SIL dared to throw it to the basement. If it was me, I would take the afghan back because people like that don't care if the crochet items are there or not.

 

I'm lucky that my recipients are gracious to receive things from me. One thing I always tell the is "You'll never know how I'll turn out. One day maybe this thing will worth a fortune and you'll have proof that it came from me :hook " We always laugh at this line but I know they enjoy it.

 

And ladies, for the one thing I really know, crocheters are very kind-hearted people :manyheart Don't let these incidents upset our ability to love and to give. Just to give to the right person, for those who don't appreciate our hard work... they'll never do anyways so we just move on to the better recipients on the list.

 

:manyheart and :hug to you all, especially those who have a sad story to tell ;)

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I have for years made gifts big and small. I have a large department at work and 2 or 3 years ago I made dish clothes with scrubbies crochet into the side for everyone. It was easy and cheap, plus I figured everyone would use them. Then next year as I got ready to make presents again I figured the same gifts would work well for some friends, but I figured I would ask around to see how they worked out.

 

I got 2 people who said they used it untill it wore completely out, and can I have another please, 1 I don't know where it ended up, 1 I live alone and don't wash dishes, and one lady who said that it was so pretty she couldn't bear to use it. I was flabbergasted. To pretty to use? It was a verigated yellow cotton dishcloth with a plastic scrubbie.

 

Since I have a large family I have done a lot of gifts over the years. Sometimes I get thank yous, sometimes not. But that is not why I did it anyway. This year I have a plan. I am making what I want to make, taking pictures and donating it to charity. For Christmas the family members will get a picture of the donation that I make in thier name(s).

 

I have to confess something. When I was young and very, very stupid I eloped with a boy I met in college. Both families were wonderfully supportive and threw us big parties with gifts galore. I never sent out thank yous. It will haunt me forever. The gifts were all loved and appreciated. My Mother taught me better. I was a bum. Since I am now divorced and remarried I figure it is too late. I have apologised to some of the people, but not everyone. Please remember that just because someone forgets to send a thank you doesn't mean they don't love the item. It might just mean they were a bum, like me.

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People can be very rude. I am so sorry to hear this because I too take my creations very seriously. Everything I have made has been for someone else and made with love. I would be hurt to see someone throw something I made with love anywhere or even give it to a pet.

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Some of these stories really are very sad. I really feel for those of you who haven't found the right people to appreciate your talents and hard work.

 

I'd like to share a story about two friends of mine. Last spring, one of the women's groups at my church held a joint baby shower for two women in the church who were expecting at roughly the same time. I crocheted a baby blanket for each woman, like I had for the previous person who had a baby.

 

One woman I didn't know well, but she sent me the most wonderful thank-you note afterward. She had a grandmother who had crocheted blankets for her first two children, but who had died before she became pregnant with the third. She had really been sad that her third child wouldn't have a crocheted blanket like the first two, and she was so thrilled that I had crocheted one for her baby. I know it wasn't really the same as one that had come from her grandmother, but I was so thrilled to know she was looking upon my gift in the same way as she looked upon and valued the blankets from her grandmother.

 

The other lady I knew well, along with her husband. She told me afterwards that in the days leading up to the shower she kept telling her husband, "I hope Amy makes me something for the baby. Oh, I just know she's going to make something for the baby." He kept telling her not to get her hopes up and not to be disappointed if I hadn't had time to make something. She was just bouncing in her seat and exclaiming about it over and over when she opened my baby blanket. She's the type of person I'd make something for over and over and over again!

 

I also knitted (yes, I know, blasphemy!) socks for quite a few family members this past Christmas. Thank goodness, I've been blessed with family members who are either crafty in their own way and love other types of hand-crafted gifts, or who either grew up with those of us who are crafty and appreciate the time and effort we put into making things, and are highly desirous of the things we make even if they don't make things themselves.

 

I really feel for those of you who haven't yet found the right people to appreciate your hand-crafted offerings of love. I'll keep my fingers crossed that you eventually find people who will appreciate and value the things you make for them!!

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