Ugly yarn help

[funkyreporter]

Okay. Always one to want to try something new ~ and thinking I might being doing something moderately helpful (that I would benefit from) ~ I bought quite a bit of yarn (about $50 worth) from a not-to-be-named source on eBay. It is advertized as 'bleached recycled raw silk yarn' something-or-another. I have owned garments made of raw silk and thought I knew what raw silk was.

 

Well, well. This stuff is apparently made from what they sweep up off the floor when making other garments in Nepal (they said something to that effect) and the ladies spin it into yarn. So far, so good. So it arrives and I must say this is quite the ugliest yarn I have ever seen. I was going to tea dye it, but it is already the color of uck. It is coarse and gritty, thick and thin, really spun tight so you have to find a way to dangle it literally about every two feet or it starts winding up on itself. I did a swatch about 25 chains long (had to use an N hook, even though parts of it 'skinny-down' to thread size) and then turned it and did a double crochet, chain one, skip a stitch, double crochet thing. It looks suspiciously like a fishnet... and not in a good way. Like a ropey, been dragging behind the boat, got barnacles on it fishnet.

 

I have quite a bit of this stuff - I think over 1,000 yards, maybe 2,000 - two bags. Any suggestions on what to do with this stuff? It comes with a disclaimer that due to the 'delicate nature of the yarn' (yeah, right) it should not be made into a garment that is to be 'worn roughly'. So an actual fishnet is apparently out of the question.

 

I will await the pattern suggestions to come flooding in...

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

As requested, the traveling Yugly itinerary as of page 64, compiled by mommy Shelle!:

Okay, here's the list of Aunties. Please let me know if I've left anyone out. Or if you want to be added to the list.

1. pplcrochets *

2. xmaystarx *

3. melissacrochets *

4. andip470 *

5. tlisley *current home*

6. Kathome

7. sakurasaku

8. Ladycrochets

9. squish52

10. LadyKindred

11. lisaizme

12. uh-oh I forgot to write down the 'ville name, but it's Anna N. (PM me)

13. anu_paradox

14. hischildsindi

[tlisley]

I SOOOOO vote for Fug (the original!) Besides I have GOT to see this marvelous "silk" yarn of Paulettes. I can't believe he's coming to visit me!!

I'll have to start planning now where I want to take him!!

[pplcrochets]

You know, this thread is just as hysterically funny to read the second time as the first (*coffee snorting through nostrils onto keyboard*), thanks for the lung-clearing, again!

 

It would be fun to be part of the Traveling Fug Circus, but I'm near Washington, D.C. - I'm worried about the possible consequences for the country.....And if I took him (Fug #1, of course, you betcha Paulette!) to the Smithsonian, they might not let me back out with him! (What are the penalities for trying to steal a museum display?! )

 

That all said, if you're willing to chance it, then I am, too. And I will categorically deny that I said any such thing should Congress suffer an unexplained ....mishap.

 

(p.s. I expect to be out of country, in Turkey, from 30May to 15Jun - and I think they have quarantine rules.... - so I shouldn't be on the list near that time period)

[funkyreporter]

I SOOOOO vote for Fug (the original!) Besides I have GOT to see this marvelous "silk" yarn of Paulettes. I can't believe he's coming to visit me!!

I'll have to start planning now where I want to take him!!

 

Thank you!!!! That's TWO VOTES FOR ORIGINAL FUG!!!! :cheer

 

I was thinking:idea ... what if I send not only Fug and his snacks and journal and photo album... but ADD IN A COUPLE.... what did we decide to call them? skanks? no... not blobs.... hunks? goops... WHATEVER they are, I'll send some of the ORIGINAL FUGLY YARN with him!!!!!! (believe me, there's plenty left. of the 15 original skeins I received I've only used, um, none of it. except what I sent to Shelle - this stuff SUCKS!) So as I was saying, I'll include the original FUGLY yarn and perhaps we can all work a bit on a Bride of Fug or some Fugly kids or something! We can make him organs to stuff inside! Bolt holders! And add your own Fugly yarn in too! Kinda have to, the way this stuff goes from rope thickness to thread thickness within a couple inches!

 

(And Jimbo, even if you don't crochet, remember you offerred up rusted barbed wire! You can't go back on that! And just think of Fug in the beautiful Alaskan... tundra.... ah, so serene!)

 

Fug is so excited he just leaned over!

[andip470]

I'm casting my vote for the O-Rig-i-NAL Fug. After all, he is responsible for the Fugly Yarn creature craze that is spreading across the US and the world. :cheer

 

A seasoned traveler, he will adapt well to changes in climate, time zone and caretakers much better than his younger siblings. (it may have something to do with the higher percentage of silk fiber content)

[Shelleden]

Man, you people have got Fug Fever!!! I LOVE it! I vote we close the voting. Fug is going to win and I think we should spare Pismuckle & Digger's feelings. They're very sensitive you know. Okay, who's first? I'll have to read backwards & see who signed up first. Start saying your goodbyes Paulette. You ought to implant a microchip so you can keep tabs on his whereabouts. What if he gets lost?!?!?!

[funkyreporter]

The Fug World Tour!!!!!

 

Fug goes INTERNATIONAL!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Let's see, he'll need his passport, I.D., traveling documents, photo journal, travel journal... emergency numbers... what else? nuts and bolts for snacks...

 

I think the Fugster should get the royal treatment here, and since he came to live with me he's only been on a road trip to Merced (central California near Yosemite)... so let's arrange his visits to coincide with some fun stuff! I know there was a mention of a vacation to Turkey earlier in the thread... anybody going on a cruise? And some nice family time... kids off of school!

 

How about New Zealand with their 10,000,000 sheep? Or South America! Ah, the Fug is so lucky... I KNEW he was destined for greatness!

[funkyreporter]

You know, this thread is just as hysterically funny to read the second time as the first (*coffee snorting through nostrils onto keyboard*), thanks for the lung-clearing, again!

 

It would be fun to be part of the Traveling Fug Circus, but I'm near Washington, D.C. - I'm worried about the possible consequences for the country.....And if I took him (Fug #1, of course, you betcha Paulette!) to the Smithsonian, they might not let me back out with him! (What are the penalities for trying to steal a museum display?! )

 

That all said, if you're willing to chance it, then I am, too. And I will categorically deny that I said any such thing should Congress suffer an unexplained ....mishap.

 

(p.s. I expect to be out of country, in Turkey, from 30May to 15Jun - and I think they have quarantine rules.... - so I shouldn't be on the list near that time period)

 

Wow! Fug at the White House... at the Washington Memorial... at the Vietnam Wall...

 

Are you sure Turkey's out of the question? I think Fug would behave... he's had his shots! He is so-phis-to-cated

[Shelleden]

I have not had the experience of this, um, voodoo yarn you call it? I believe the lamb has mange. Take it to a vet or I'm calling PETCA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Crocheted Animals)

It doesn't matter, he's blind so he can't see it, and it doesn't itch or anything.

[sakurasaku]

I have not had the experience of this, um, voodoo yarn you call it? I believe the lamb has mange. Take it to a vet or I'm calling PETCA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Crocheted Animals)

 

:laughrollBut I just asked my BF what one does with mangy animals and he said "you don't want to know", which made me sad for the lamb. I will avoid making crocheted animals with Voodoo.

 

I am so excited that Fug is traveling! We love Fug!

[Shelleden]

That's funny! My lamb doesn't really have mange - she's just having a bad hair day.

[tlisley]

Well, I have been preparing my children for Fug's arrival... They all take Taekwondo, and have sparring gear, so I think they'll be safe. The girls have been warned not to wear metal barrettes while he's here. (After all, fug hasn't has exposure to small children yet, has he??) Glad to hear about the shots... my kids are up to date too...lol. I thought I would take Fug to the University of Michigan, it's the only really "well known" place of interest close by. Don't worry, I'll take good care of him.

Oh I'm soooo excited that Fug is coming!!

[funkyreporter]

Well, I have been preparing my children for Fug's arrival... They all take Taekwondo, and have sparring gear, so I think they'll be safe. The girls have been warned not to wear metal barrettes while he's here. (After all, fug hasn't has exposure to small children yet, has he??) Glad to hear about the shots... my kids are up to date too...lol. I thought I would take Fug to the University of Michigan, it's the only really "well known" place of interest close by. Don't worry, I'll take good care of him.

Oh I'm soooo excited that Fug is coming!!

 

Traci, is there anything else you want to share with our members here? Any other exciting Fugly related news? Hmmmmm.... something I KNOW everyone will be VERY excitied about:yay

[tlisley]

Traci, is there anything else you want to share with our members here? Any other exciting Fugly related news? Hmmmmm.... something I KNOW everyone will be VERY excitied about:yay

 

Well, yes there is Paulette... Funny you should mention that...

FUG'S FIRST BORN IS ON THE WAY!! :yay

I wanted to make sure that Gramma Paulette :grandma was the first to know though! BTW, its a GIRL!! I woke this morning to a strange bird nest looking thing on my desk, after reading Paulettes post this morning about fugly children, it clicked! Fug's baby!! Fuglina is currently housing some small birds, and she isn't fully coherent (having just been born and all) so when I tried to take her photo she screeched and the ultrasonic waves from her sweet little voice shattered the camera lense. Have no fear, I have a friend with a digital camera and I will be taking her there for photo's today, and posting them asap. I'm so honored to be a part of this miricle! *Traci sniff's and grabs a tissue to wipe away the tears*

[funkyreporter]

That's funny! My lamb doesn't really have mange - she's just having a bad hair day.

 

That's funny! I'm having a bad hair LIFE!

 

And about the erratic placement of the yarn blobs on whatever that lamb yarn is, I would think one would have to be careful when making 'creatures' with it... I could just picture a little teddy bear with a big blob of fur in the, um, wrong place...

[funkyreporter]

Well, yes there is Paulette... Funny you should mention that...

FUG'S FIRST BORN IS ON THE WAY!! :yay

I wanted to make sure that Gramma Paulette :grandma was the first to know though! BTW, its a GIRL!! I woke this morning to a strange bird nest looking thing on my desk, after reading Paulettes post this morning about fugly children, it clicked! Fug's baby!! Fuglina is currently housing some small birds, and she isn't fully coherent (having just been born and all) so when I tried to take her photo she screeched and the ultrasonic waves from her sweet little voice shattered the camera lense. Have no fear, I have a friend with a digital camera and I will be taking her there for photo's today, and posting them asap. I'm so honored to be a part of this miricle! *Traci sniff's and grabs a tissue to wipe away the tears*

 

Okay... *taking notes* First born, its' a GIRL, Fuglina born on April 29, 2006! We'll have to have a section for baby photos to add in as Fug gathers children... that little rascal...

 

Yes, Fug screeches have been known to break glass and also to cause neighbors call for emergency service. Sometimes you have to gag them! They don't mind, though... they think it's a treat or a fun little game! You know, you gag me, I'll gag you! Let's do it again, mommy! Then he spits a couple tacks at you and goes about doing his thing.

 

My heart is swelling with pride right now *wiping my own tear of joy* and I am so looking forward to photos of little Fuglina:hug

[pplcrochets]

Ok! I'm preparing for the Fug now! I've contacted the White House Press Corps, and they are quite excited - I think we can count on a pic with a VERY well known person... (image springs full-blown into mind of how it might go: Sir, this is Fug; Fug, this is - Wait! Fug, FUG, no wait!, FUG FUG! (sound of screams diminishing in the distance - "No, sir, really, I had no idea he'd do that! Oh, you'd like me to talk to these people in black suits? what do they want to know? My name? Ummm - it's Paulette!)

 

Hmm, on second thought: (breaking out of a reverie) maybe we ought to revise that itinerary a little. Let's stay away from people, eh? Shelle, how does he do with granite? Stone? Fairly indestructible kinds of things? Can we go near the Jefferson Memorial, or would the japanese cherry trees be in danger? I bet he'd love to meet the wooly mammoth in the Museum of Natural History rotunda! Distant cousin, I believe? Oh, the Air and Space Museum - I bet he's been "hank"ering (heehee - I slay myself!) to see the Wright Brothers exhibit and the Apollo capsule. Has he spoken of any other ambitions? We aim to please - Crochet Tours, Like No Other! (with tourists LIKE NO OTHER )

 

And I've called the Turkish embassy - they were amazingly understanding and pleased to host the Fug on his World Tour with a visit to their country. They offered to waive their quarantine regulations as long as he promised not to teach their native fiber wildlife any bad habits (he is better behaved, now, I believe? - anything I ought to know about here?).

 

Would you pass the following draft itinerary to his personal secretary, for approval, please? Right now, the Turkish part of The Fug World Tour includes Istanbul (Blue Mosque, Topkapi Palace, Hagia Sophia), ferry ride across the Bosphorus, Ceteja, Izmir (ancient Smyrna), Ephesus, Kucadesi, Hieropolis, Laodicea, Pamukale (hot springs), Monmara, Olympos, and a boat ride along the Aegean coast. Do you think he will be able to handle the Turkish metals, or should I count on bringing american comestibles? (ha! been waiting for an opportunity to use my word-of-the-month:D ). We depart Baltimore/Washington Intn'l May 30th, return June 15th. The Washington, D.C. portion of his tour would be best arranged following his return from Turkey, as my son won't be out of school until then. I'm sure that the Fug will be well-versed in meeting young children by that time (he will, won't he? ). Crochet Tours - Crochet Your Way Around The World!tm

[Ellie 13]

:rofl:rofl:rofl

 

You ladies have made my day

 

The only helpful advice I can think of is to keep it away from the Kool-Aid. Surely you don't want to start nourishing it!

 

:rofl

 

All i can think of now are those funny little fuzz balls on the old star-trek show that kept mutiplying(sp?)Ohhhhh..what were they called..they were all over the ship......made little squeking sounds...this will drive me crazy :blinkI can just see them taking over your whole house Paulette :lol under your chairs and beds...

 

Poor kitty

 

 

They werre called Tribbles. My normal yarn is taking over my apt, I wouldn't have room anyway.

Ellie 13

[funkyreporter]

Okay. To every season there is a time, a purpose for everything under the sun... okay... I seriously botched that one. It is time for me to POST pictures!

 

I would like to thank Shelle for her instructions, though while she thought she was being too specific it suddently dawned on her I had NO CLUE WHAT I WAS DOING!!!!! I've waited a couple weeks, but here I am. With any luck at all there will be pictures of Fugly in this post. It's 2:00 p.m. PST

 

Fugly smelling the roses!

 

 

3:00 P.m., PST Fugly relaxing in my crochet chair!

 

 

Fugly hanging out in the backyard with some newly planted flowers!

 

3:34!!!!! I am so excited. Sorry that they are so big, but the fact that I even got them on here is a miracle!

 

I'll try and get better at this!

[melissacrochets]

Okay. To every season there is a time, a purpose for everything under the sun... okay... I seriously botched that one. It is time for me to POST pictures!

 

I would like to thank Shelle for her instructions, though while she thought she was being too specific it suddently dawned on her I had NO CLUE WHAT I WAS DOING!!!!! I've waited a couple weeks, but here I am. With any luck at all there will be pictures of Fugly in this post. It's 2:00 p.m. PST

 

OK. Though well assembled, fugly is truly.....well.....fugly.

[funkyreporter]

OK. Though well assembled, fugly is truly.....well.....fugly.

 

Does this mean you DO or DON'T want a Fugly visit???

[melissacrochets]

Does this mean you DO or DON'T want a Fugly visit???

I DO! I DO WANT FUGLY TO VISIT! I'm kinda fugly myself. We'll get along just fine. My cats are beautiful and they know it. They may not like his visit but they don't pay the rent!

[flybabytina]

I have a question... is THIS what happens when a Fugly throws up? http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=8280985626

 

Tina

 

I just want to be prepared if Fugly decides to visit me on his world tour!

[funkyreporter]

I have a question... is THIS what happens when a Fugly throws up? http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=8280985626

 

Tina

 

I just want to be prepared if Fugly decides to visit me on his world tour!

 

Uh, that hasn't happened yet.

 

I don't even know what that IS! And just what size hook does one use to pull a babydoll head through? That's just plain weird. Though that is interesting in the kinda of way like something ugly that you know you shouldn't look at but you can't turn away...

 

Fugly is WAY classier than that!

 

EDIT COMMENT: I take it back. Did you see what the bidding is up to? I gotta go clean at the garage and make some yarn to list on eBay!

[Shelleden]

OK. Though well assembled, fugly is truly.....well.....fugly.

I'm sure you mean that as a compliment. Riiiiiiiiiiiight?

[Shelleden]

Tina, how in the world did you come across that monstrosity? Geesh, even in my wildest nightmares, I couldn't come up with a concoction like that! That artist has serious issues!

Paulette, thank you so much for posting pics of the Fug guy. (Shelle sheds a couple tears of joy) You did a great job my little Photobucket Protege'.

And Traci, when are we going to see pics of the new bouncing bundle of joy, Fuglina? I'm a step-grammaw!:bheart

 

 

 

 

 

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