Ugly yarn help

[funkyreporter]

Okay. Always one to want to try something new ~ and thinking I might being doing something moderately helpful (that I would benefit from) ~ I bought quite a bit of yarn (about $50 worth) from a not-to-be-named source on eBay. It is advertized as 'bleached recycled raw silk yarn' something-or-another. I have owned garments made of raw silk and thought I knew what raw silk was.

 

Well, well. This stuff is apparently made from what they sweep up off the floor when making other garments in Nepal (they said something to that effect) and the ladies spin it into yarn. So far, so good. So it arrives and I must say this is quite the ugliest yarn I have ever seen. I was going to tea dye it, but it is already the color of uck. It is coarse and gritty, thick and thin, really spun tight so you have to find a way to dangle it literally about every two feet or it starts winding up on itself. I did a swatch about 25 chains long (had to use an N hook, even though parts of it 'skinny-down' to thread size) and then turned it and did a double crochet, chain one, skip a stitch, double crochet thing. It looks suspiciously like a fishnet... and not in a good way. Like a ropey, been dragging behind the boat, got barnacles on it fishnet.

 

I have quite a bit of this stuff - I think over 1,000 yards, maybe 2,000 - two bags. Any suggestions on what to do with this stuff? It comes with a disclaimer that due to the 'delicate nature of the yarn' (yeah, right) it should not be made into a garment that is to be 'worn roughly'. So an actual fishnet is apparently out of the question.

 

I will await the pattern suggestions to come flooding in...

 

 

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As requested, the traveling Yugly itinerary as of page 64, compiled by mommy Shelle!:

Okay, here's the list of Aunties. Please let me know if I've left anyone out. Or if you want to be added to the list.

1. pplcrochets *

2. xmaystarx *

3. melissacrochets *

4. andip470 *

5. tlisley *current home*

6. Kathome

7. sakurasaku

8. Ladycrochets

9. squish52

10. LadyKindred

11. lisaizme

12. uh-oh I forgot to write down the 'ville name, but it's Anna N. (PM me)

13. anu_paradox

14. hischildsindi

[pplcrochets]

some instruments are fairly tarnished. Don't think he can get to the piano strings. But one never knows...

 

I know Prissy will give him a run for his money. He may come out traumatized after this trip. I'll make sure I make pictures of their adventures.

 

We will soon find out!

Hmmmm. Perhaps he'd prefer the piano strings for ear piercings? Either way, just be firm and tell him HE CAN'T HAVE THEM. Or put Prissy on guard? somehow, I'm having a hard time imagining hiding something as big as a piano......

 

Hey, this could be a good test of just how far the Yugster will go in pursuit of his favorite delicacies (and disobeying his host's house rules). But if your precautions fell short, I shudder to think of the post we'd see from the Piano Protection Society. or the Yugly Yarn Basket Nutrition Council

[pplcrochets]

...... From what I understand just about anything you put in the trap they will eat but I would advise against any more of the Chocolates or your tile. Don't waste the good stuff on the little darlings.

eating the cable wire (or your chocolates!:hug) isn't a ROFL matter, but I just couldn't resist after picturing a possum, big smile spread across its face, sprawled in the trap with Godiva wrappers littering the floor around it.... He'd go happy, that's for sure.

 

Paulette, you sure lead an interesting life. or am I the only one here at the 'Ville possum-less?

[Ilene]

I would have to wonder how they are getting in as well now that your husband had fixed the back door! There has got to be a place in the house that you are forgetting about about that they haven't.

 

The Humane trap is the wisest thing, I think if you put in something like peanut butter or cat food to draw them in you can catch them. From what I understand just about anything you put in the trap they will eat but I would advise against any more of the Chocolates or your tile. Don't waiste the good stuff on the little darlings.

[Lavelle26]

Guess who arrived to my hotel room today!!!!!!!! You got it!!! Little Booger B. Fugly!! I was so pleased to met him. He, on the other hand is sulking...

 

 

He ran straight for the corner of this chair after I took him from darling Chloe's grasp and has not moved since. It seems that Chloe also enjoys the same snacks as the Fugly. She was chewing on his dog tags...maybe they will get along better once he is in a better mood. He won't speak to me or anything. The poor dear though. You see...while we are in this hotel room, our mail is being delivered to my husbands co-workers house and we get a delivery about once a week. So, who knows how long poor Fug-man was waiting inside his traveling box. I can't blame him...I would be pretty upset at me too.

 

Fug is a little skinny. I don't know if he has always been this skinny or if it has to do with living in a box for over a week... ... I promise, as soon as he cools off, I will find him something to eat. There has GOT to be something around here he likes. I will do my best to plump him up.

 

Would you all mind if he stayed here for more than a week? We are moving into our new house on the 9th and I was hoping he could help us.

 

I will be posting pictures of our adventures together on my blog in case you all would like to see him.

[jimbo]

Aw Paulette, sorry to hear you're feeling blue. Its not fair. You bring so many smiles to us all and there should be just as many coming back. Just know that tons of folks here think alot of you and take some comfort in knowing how much enjoyment you've brought us.

And look at the bright side. You now know the difference between a redwood and a telephone pole!

[andip470]

:hug :hug

 

 

Paulette,

 

Sorry to hear that you are blue. I wish I had some hilariously witty comment to make, but I don't. Know that your 'Ville family is here for you, to listen to a rant & send cyberhugs to you:hug :hug :hug :hug

[Brandybuck]

You've done so much to make everyone smile and laugh here at the 'Ville. We're all here for you just like you're always here for us. Here's to hoping life starts to smooth out for you soon. :hug

 

This always makes me snicker. Somehow, it never seems to get old. I hope it gives you a smile today!

[funkyreporter]

Gosh, you guys. Thanks SO MUCH. And things turned around today:yes and I'm doing way better.... You all are so sweet... and my daughter sat here and sang the whole Peanut Butter Jelly song...

[pplcrochets]

Hi, Paulette!

[sakurasaku]

from me, too...and I'm glad you are feeling better.

 

We love you here at the 'Ville. You bring so much joy, smiles, and may I mention hilarity to this place.

 

Edited to add: Cream of meat notwithstanding.

[Ah Leah]

Mom, if you want to stop feeling blue then get your head OUT of the toilet with the blue water in our plus petit sale de bains des mundo. Hello, did you learn NOTHING from Mr. Shrubbery Buttons the cat?

[kathome]

Uh...... Where's Fug?????????????

[sakurasaku]

Somewhere between xmaystarx and melissacrochets..?

[funkyreporter]

Been wondering about that myself... the Fug is a sly one...

 

Fug, phone home!!!!

[harmonise]

:laughroll :laughroll

This is what my best friend says to me every time i tell her about my latest yarn purchase!!

:laughroll :laughroll

[harmonise]

p.s. I really like the weave a wall hanging suggestion. You could crochet one instead if you don't have a loom, and add all the fugly bits and pieces you can find. Hey everybody, let's send Paulette bits of yarn that are gross colors/textures, and she can make a work of fugly art, and maybe she'd want to give it to the auction or whatever.... It might even make the "What Not to Crochet" list!!

 

and then she can sell it on e-bay!!!

[Ah Leah]

It's also called loukoum or lokum if you know it by that name. It's starch and sugar that's flavored with rose water or something else like that, and then dusted with sugar to keep it from sticking to other stuff. I'm not all that fond of it, but my best friend's family ate the stuff like it was essential to survival.

[pplcrochets]

Oh, just tell him to get over it! He spent an overnight in my mailbox, too. Sulked then, too, as I recall.....But some rusty bolts brought him around. So, yeah, I guess I didn't follow my own advice

 

Actually, the FugMan has quite a sense of humor. He often sees the funny side of things I see quite differently. I'm remembering some choice comments about my driving......

 

thinking over his visit here, I'm lucky he's in your hands now; my son just started instrumental music, and his (rented; I shudder to think how much it'd cost to buy the thing) trumpet would have been in real danger Does the music store insurance cover loss due to visiting Fugly yarn baskets?

[Lavelle26]

Well, I thought that the Turkish Delight was for Fug. But I see I was wrong. No wonder he turned up his nose at me when I offered him some. Good thing I had a spare crochet hook I wasn't using...he enjoyed that immensly. (I think I even caught him smiling)

An update on his attitude...he has come out from the corner of the couch (I think the crochet hook helped with that) and is now sitting on the bed next to hubby watching television. (who knew that he liked tv???) No remote though...hubby has a firm grasp of that one.

So, now I am off to think of ways to make Fugs day tomorrow a special one he will remember forever. (gotta make up for the whole "stuck in a traveling box" episode)

[pplcrochets]

It's also called loukoum or lokum if you know it by that name. It's starch and sugar that's flavored with rose water or something else like that, and then dusted with sugar to keep it from sticking to other stuff. I'm not all that fond of it, but my best friend's family ate the stuff like it was essential to survival.

Yep, Ah Leah nailed it in one! I can eat maybe one cube at a time, myself. However, seeing as how it's a traditional candy from Turkiye, you pretty much have to buy a box to prove you've been there!

 

One wonders how the harem beauties with access to this stuff kept their svelte shapes; can you say "from lips straight to hips"?

[funkyreporter]

OH, I see BIG attitude going in that picture! Personally I think he's spoiled! Turkey, the Bahamas... just toss him something from the wet bar and tell him to chill out! What a BABY - sulking in the corner of the couch! Really now!

 

You've got to establish whose in charge right away... and other than that, DON'T LEAVE HIM ALONE WITH THE TV REMOTE!!!!!

[xmaystarx]

Patricia sent it with fug from her trip to Turkey. Her instructions were to enjoy and pass on. I must say I did try one but was not fond of it.

[Shelleden]

Hmmm, that's interesting. Thanks for the info. You're a pretty smart cookie!

[sakurasaku]

Guess who arrived to my hotel room today!!!!!!!! You got it!!! Little Booger B. Fugly!! I was so pleased to met him. He, on the other hand is sulking...

 

 

 

:lol:lol You are right, he does seem to be sulking. I am sure he will come out of it in due time, though. Have fun with the Fug-man!

 

Is the turkish delight for him....!?

[xmaystarx]

glad fud man made it safely! Don't worry he'll cheer up as time goes on, maybe he misses his kitty friends here that he had learned to love and not eat!