DH is upset with me

[faedragon]

..this is just one of the things I do not miss about being married.

[donnalynn2]

My hubby is definately NOT an enabler! He contstantly complains about how much money I spend on yarn, hooks and patterns. Most of the time I have to sneak yarn I buy into the house so he doesn't see that I bought more! I usually can get away with some small purchases on line but to keep the peace I usually discuss all of these things prior to buying them.

[andip470]

My DH doesn't understand the need to have more yarn any more than he understands why I have 6 pairs of sneakers & 15 pairs of shoes. He jokingly forbids me from buying more yarn, because our home is small & my stash is pretty healthy. But... last Thursday nite he called me from work to tell me about all of the yarn in the Ocean State Job Lots flier. Many varieties for $1, $2 & $3 per skein. I made a side trip there after the DMV on Saturday & got LOTS of yarn for $40.

 

As Gleda said earlier, we both work & deserve to spend a bit on ourselves, without guilt - besides, I don't smoke anymore and this is my new habit. Far less expensive than the cigarettes overall.

[christinascrochethaven]

Perhaps 50 auctions/patterns are a little much and maybe an apology is in order...only you can decide....for sure.

 

I do think ebay can get addictive and more money is spent on things we couldn't possibly use all at once.

 

Talk it over and compromise.

 

I also have a cool DH who enables and supports, but he would probably speak up in the case you described as that is a lot of auctions.

 

Good luck! and hugs sent your way:hug

[JoAnn]

My DH only complains that I give everything away! He has no problem with what I buy or do. Thinks everything I crochet is great! (even the stuff that isn't so great!) I guess after almost 33 years things like this aren't a big deal.

 

Hope all is well soon. Nothing is more important than your family!

 

PS He gave up a long time ago trying to understand why I need/have so much yarn!

 

(same reason the top of the garage is full of car parts that don't match ANY car that we have!!) He LOVES cars!

[jenksie]

if he got up from the stupid computer to come sit on the couch with me I wouldn't crochet, but he waits till I am right in the middle of something sites there for 2 minutes gets up mad and goes back to the computer.

 

I am right there with you, although he is more upset that I crochet while we watch something together. (he would rather have the lights out, but if I turn the lights out, I will fall a sleep!)

[SweetLilRachy00]

I just try my best to keep him happy. When he makes a comment about "why don't you make something nice for the couch to cuddle with...." then I do. That way he sees that I do make things per his request and it's not just some mind numbing thing....as opposed to starring at the televsion...LOL

[beth eathorne]

i try and set a spending limit. and also if i saw it once it will be there again. just have to be patient.

[Empress Busy Bee]

My husband doesn't bother me about the amount of yarn or pattern books I buy. We included in our budget 'fun money' for each of us.

That's pretty much us. We're both adults, we don't need to hide things from each other. I don't think either of us could tolerate being married to someone who was that controlling or that jealous of things.

[laurastar0962]

it can be great if you can afford to have spending money to spare......we dont right now......so no worries, I am not buying anything!

[crochetluvknot]

Mine gets grumpy once in a while but he knows crochet is a big passion of mine so he doesnt say to much about me buying or bidding.

[redbird51]

my husband is great about whatever craft i choose to do. he's never complained about money and even compliments me on some of the things i make. he's into sports so i can crochet while he watches tv. we're actually together.

[Pumpkinmouse]

Im a spoiled BRAT:devil always have been always will be (I hope ) and I will be the first one to admit that.... I get what I want when I want .... We support each others habbits as long as it makes us happy and does not interfere with our living costs or harm us in any way......

[funkyreporter]

Jokingly, my family "wouldn't let me buy any more crochet supplies" (I did a post about it) but be very careful...

 

Not that I'm looking for an excuse, but I think I have obsessive/compulsive disorder when it comes to pretty much anything that catches my interest... I have created serious debt with eBay buying... I'm slowing down now (finally) and currently have no bids though I did just a few minutes ago buy the book for the Blue Star Afghan Crochet Along in Buy It Now. I have purchased HUNDREDS of dollars worth of yarns including hand-dyed beauties, I have so many hooks - literally over 100 (not exagerating).

 

Hubby is probably more ticked at the excessiveness or maybe he felt you were 'doing it behind his back'... like you had a choice! Not like you could sit there in front of him bidding on 50 patterns!

 

Maybe he just needs a cooling off period... I hate being in a fight with my wonderful husband, but sometimes it happens and there's nothing I can do about it... I'm moody, he's moody, the kids are fighting, hard day at work - whatever - and he's the "I'm not gonna talk to you type" and then holds it in until he gets to the "lash out and hold nothing back" - I'm the type that needs to know everything is okay... I literally get terrified that someone I love will withhold their love from me and it tears me up.

 

My hubby lashed out at my older daughter and now she won't talk to me and it's breaking my heart... I'm so angry at him for what he said (I don't know what it was) and I don't know what to do...

 

So I guess my advice would be to go piccalo shopping with hubby when he's talking to you again, let him cool down, and be careful that you don't get sucked in by eBay or other on-line ordering:hug

[funkyreporter]

My son always rags on me about my eBay habit and he sent me this video link on YouTube... Not sure what sort of music you listen to, but this is a parody video by Weird Al Yankovic done to the tune of a Backstreet Boys song, I Want It That Way...

 

Perhaps if you play this for hubby he'll get a chuckle out of it...

Weird Al - Ebay

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0HXc6zXemgI&NR

 

and original Backstreet Boys song

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fSEcTNvfKgw

[skydramini]

...come sit on the couch with me I wouldn't crochet

 

I would! I do!

[Ladykats]

Well, My DH has no idea of how big my stash is. Balls of yarn just magically appear in the late evening. We work together all day, and generally drive our own cars home in the evening. He normally follows me, if he leaves first, I know he's is mad at me about something. But not a word is said, another hint that I am in the danger zone. He has to be really really mad to actually start to talk to me in front of the children. On very rare occasions he will raise his voice, I'm the yeller in defence of his misguided beliefs I did something wrong. At least till he proves to me It was my fault. It has happened. He loves to watch football and soccer, and I crochet while he watches the sports. Recently, he learned how to use the world wide web, and only goes to sports websites. The computer now sits on our dining room table so that we sit together in one room and enjoy each other's company.

He seems unaware of my crocheting, unless in his mind it is interferring with some very important task I must do right now. I take my crochet to work with me, and if I have nothing to do, I will crochet, or if I have to sit and watch an Car auction online and wait for the car I want to bid on comes up. But in those times he is mad at me, I will get hit with my crocheting,beading, wood burning, quilting or what ever I have been doing the most at the time the arguement happens.

 

I am really lucky as I married an almost perfect man. He is neat, folds his dirty laundry and puts them in the hamper. Makes his side of the bed in the morning, wipes down the bathroom sink after using it. Puts his dishes in the sink, and will straighten the kitchen and put the leftovers away if I am busy. And on Sundays he will cook dinner. At this point in our lives money isn't a problem, but it was at a time when we first married.

[Auntie Kellie]

I hope things turn out all right with you and your husband. He probably is upset that the bidding got out of hand while you had other things to get first but I'm sure all will be well again. Being human, he's probably done something similar in the past or will in the future and will forgive you.

 

My DH works nights and sleeps during the day while I look after the kids, clean the house and work two afternoons a week in the building's office. He understands that crocheting is my way of working the stress out of myself after dealing with tenants, a very active 4yr old and two teens with busy schedules. The worst he does is roll his eyes before agreeing to take me yarn shopping although I know he doesn't mind because it gives him a chance to go looking at games and movies. Besides, my DH knows if he cut off my yarn and pattern supplies, he'd lose something very important to him... His FFXI characters he's been working on for 2 years.

 

Hugs and Cookies

Auntie K

[littlelady2]

Hi Carrie.

My hubby was that way when we first got married 25 yrs ago, until he began to realize all the absolutely gorgeous things that can be created with a hook and a piece of thread and/or yarn. Then I made a huge rectangular tablecloth for his parents for thier 50th anniversary. He still talks about that one, he was so proud of it. It just took him about 6 months to a year, lol

[Vickietoria]

I do a lot of charity crochet, largly because if I kept everything I made, we wouldn't be able to walk in the house, or I would have to stop crocheting. My hubby is very very understanding of it. On occasion, he will say something about it being everywhere, but really, it is, and I do need to work on that. Once he told me that he can't tell me not to buy yarn, because it would be like telling me not to give money to someone in need, since I will most likely use the yarn for charity. I do keep it manageable though, because I am staying at home with our son, so money is a little tight.

 

I hope things get better with you two. I know they will. He is probably just a little frustrated, but will calm down about it. I know I do this, but my first reaction sometimes is a little harsh, but after I think about it, I realize that I was too hard on my husband, and we work out a compromise. I really hope you find a good deal on piccolos! I played it in high school, and I loved it!

Good luck!

Victoria

[chrissyf]

All is forgiven I made him a new hat and he is content.

CHrissy

[Auntie Kellie]

It is so good to hear that the two of you patched things up.

 

My DH and I discussed this thread last night before he went to work. He suggested that perhaps you should do what I'm going to be doing in the near future. Set up a pre-paid credit card with a reasonable amount of money on it to be used just for buying crafting supplies online or where ever. I thought this was a great idea when my DH suggested I get one for this purpose but I told him if it was an absolute nessesity, I would use it for stuff needed in the house. We figure $100-$200 would be more then reasonable for me to spend on yarns and such and at the end of each month, I just refill it since we're both working now.

 

Hugs and Cookies

Auntie K

[LadyyOftheOak]

What I do hear from him at least once a week is: "Those poor sheep." (doesn't matter to him that I do not use wool)

 

Ok, thanks.. now I have to wipe the coffee off the monitor.. that's too funny

 

Heres my thoughts on this.. if you're spending more on crochet materials than you're making selling them then there's a problem. If you're hurting the household by spending money designated for bills on crafting supplies.. there a problem. Your home and family comes first... period. I sell alot of what I crochet, so I use my sales to help fund my crochet and knitting both... and usually come out way ahead. A craft or hobby should never come ahead of your families needs. Now, if it's just that the DH resents you having a hobby or doesn't want you to spend money on what he considers silly, well that's when he and I would have a heart to heart. My first husband was like that.. he'd spend a small fortune on his motorcycles but if I wanted to buy yarn or patterns or something for my horses he'd blow a gasket.

 

I've been married to Vince now for nearly 4 years and he's awesome.. he never complains about how much I buy or when.. he may give me a look like "do u really NEED this?" and kind of groan when I drag him to the yarn store, but he's great about it. I've now got two rooms full of yarn and hooks and patterns and he's never said a word about the living room or couch being full of stuff. I crochet in the car going places, I've been known to crochet at a restaurant waiting for a meal.. and many times when he's not on the computer gaming (World of Warcraft.. what else) he's on the couch, with my legs in his lap and a ball of yarn wedged in his elbow while I'm crocheting lol

 

He's even been known to go yarn shopping for me if he's out at the store and there's something I need... as long as I can tell him exactly where it is and what it's called lol He happily supports my craft fairs and my job at Michaels teaching.. many time swinging by the store to say hello or bring me a bit of supper. He wears a scarf I made for him and I'm getting ready to make him some fingerless mittens as he's a locksmith and needs his fingers free to work, but has such big hands (he's 6'6") that nothing fits him glove wise.

 

I'm going to tell you though, organizing your stash and getting it into perspective as to what you have already will sure help with the buying unnecessary stuff. I separated my yarns into acrylic, baby, specialty and wool and will probably break it down further at some point. I organized my patterns, got all my hooks together, got all my supplies.. stitch markers, measuring tapes etc.. together in a desk drawer and WOW.. I've not bought any new yarn in ages now. Simply because I can go back there, lay my hands on exactly what I need typically or at least resolve to use some of that up before buying more and it's worked! Seeing all those patterns that I'll never have time to make even if I didn't work 2 jobs and have 8 horses at home keeps me from willy nilly buying more patterns... altho there is this ONE book at Annies Attic *innocent face*

 

Sooo.. a supportive husband with a sexy english accent and to die for hands.. what more could a girl want?

 

Now .. husband and the horses?? Thats a whole other subject LOL A little more forceful with what I want or need for them, but at the end of the day he knows it's something that feeds my soul and he doesn't fuss too bad.. and if it's a vet or something they desperately need, he's the first one on the phone making the call. I am blessed

[Ladykats]

Chrissyf~ so glad you and DH made up, life is so much nicer without the added tension of an arguement with a loved one.

 

Auntie K~ what a great Idea. A yarn budget should be a nice way to keep arguements from happening. I believe there are a few woman posted in this thread that they do something similiar, but on a pre-paid credit card, it can be used online.

[Phoenix]

So glad that things are patched up! Hate to see a fibre addict under duress