A strange question about my aunt who crochets.

[lily]

I have an aunt who lives all the way across the country. She has always lived very far away from us.

 

actually, she is my ONLY aunt. I can count on one hand the times I have seen her in the past ten years. This isn't due to any dysfunction or estrangement, but more an economy thing. No one in my family is overly well-to-do.

 

I am just now getting to the age where I realize that it is important to keep in touch with relatives. Just now getting to a stage of responsibility that I will be able to keep it up. She doesn't have email.... and I'm really not a "phone chat' sort of gal. So I'm thinking i will get her snail mail address and send her off a letter.

 

This aunt is the only relative I have who crochets. This may be the only thing I have in common with her... And this is not the only reason that I want to get back in touch.... but I have to be honest and say that it is one of the reasons that I'm starting me family reconnection with her.

 

Do you all think she will be offended that I haven't bothered to keep in touch and now that I crochet I'm trying to reestablish a connection? We always did get along but...I just sort of... faded away from most of my family since I got to old for my parents to force me into visiting.

 

I don't want her to think that the only reason I'm writing to her is to gain her knowledge or to inherit her toys and patterns when she dies.

 

What I want is my aunt back (such fond memories of vacations to her house and her coming to see us when I was very young!!)

 

I also, since reading a lot of crochet lists and boards and the like, really feel that I am missing out on something by not having that "mentor" in crochet that is a family member. all the talk of moms and grammas who have taught those lucky people stuff... sort of a 'warm fuzzy' thing that I would like to experience. is this selfish of me?

 

 

I'm torn here. I cannot say that I don't have an ulterior motive, albeit an innocent one... and i feel guilty for allowing myself to become so 'far away'

If it were you, and your niece were to contact you out of the blue to talk crochet, would you be flattered or insulted???

 

thanks for any thoughts on this.

[kariholtz]

Why would she think that you are just tryign to get her thigns after she passes?

I woudl think that if you always got along she would be happy to hear from her. If you are worried about it don't mention anything about crocheting or about her crocheting.

Just tell her you want your aunt back like you said here. and good luck.

[Julie]

Remember that your aunt has those fond memories too and probably will be thrilled to visit with you, by phone or by letter. I went through my 20's not being concerned too much about visiting with my grandparents, aunts and cousins. Now I'm older and wiser and talk quite regularly to all of them, but I missed out on many years of great conversations. They live 700 miles away so visiting is a very rare thing. I suspect she'll be happy to hear from you, love that you're crocheting and enjoy the letters you send her. If it were me, I would be ecstatic. I say go for it!

[Mel]

I would think she would be happy to be in touch with you again. It is all too easy to get out of touch with relatives, especially when they live so far away. I think she'd be happy to know that you also crochet and I'm sure she would love to get your letters.

[Harvestar]

Well, I can only speak from my own experience which was that my aunt who taught me to crochet got email this year. While they live fairly close to my family and we'd see them pretty often, I now live across the country and don't see them often (or send them cards or anything).

 

I emailed her in the spring to say that I'd learned a lot more about crocheting lately and started doing more complicated stuff.

 

She told my mom she was just thrilled to hear from me.

 

So, go for it! And (as I'm sure you would) talk about memories from when you visited, too.

[Katchkan]

I think I would write her and tell her, That since you think about her when you pick up your hook that you thought it would be nice to get in touch. Keep it light, cheerful and see were it goes from there. But definitely make the effort.

[ViciouzKitty]

you should definately make contact with her. I'm sure she'd love to hear from you and I know that personally I'd be thrilled if anyone in my family took up an interest in crochet!

[losingmymind2]

I would get in touch with her, telling her of your fond memories and that you have a common interest now in crochet. Then let her make the next move. If you get a polite 'that's nice' and nothing more, you know she doesn't want to reestablish a connection. She may well be wondering how to reconnect with you!

[halesje]

I think she'd love to know that after all this time, you have something in common. A lot of us have only blood in common with our relatives, and even though we love them, we have very little to talk about.

[MaryPat]

I think you could phrase it something like, Dear Auntie, I realize that we haven't seen very much of each other ... but as I've gotten older I've realized I should have kept up the connection... I've also been thinking a lot about you because i've really become interested in crochet ...

[crochet smartcat]

Maybe not even mention in the first letter that you are into crocheting at this point, if you are at all concerned. But you could enclose a bookmark or ornament that you have made for her. Just explain that you are sorry that you have not been in touch more, but now that you are a few years older and wiser, you would love to reestablish the family connection. Depending on your previous relationship with her, I would think that she would be thrilled to hear from you and would love to see what you are working on.

[LibiLou]

Actually, I think she would be thrilled that you not only want to reconnect, but that you want to learn from her. How respectful and how wonderful to recognize someone else's ability and your willingness to learn. That would be very flattering.

[lily]

I need to clarify real quick because after rereading, my original post sounds sort of silly.

 

The only reason I'm concerned at her reaction is that I'm having trouble finding things to chat about that arent crochet related. There never has been any animosity or anything like that, but this is, I think, the only thing we have ever had in common.

Plus, crochet is the only thing i talk about anymore anyway, regardless who I'm talking to.

 

I was just trying to look at it from her point of view, with her niece writing from out of the blue with a bunch of crochet babble when she's not been in touch for years. I'm more concerned that she'll think I'm a blithering idiot than anything.

[jimbo]

Absolutely, positively, and without any hesitation whatever, write her! Take it from someone in the ancient category (compared to most folks in C'ville that is) if you tell her that it took all this time to finally come around to pick up crocheting and that you cherish the memories of her.... she'll be in heaven. I have a nephew who likes to sit with me and whittle. I love every minute of it!

[dazy]

at least you'd be a blithering idiot to somebody that knows what you're talking about. my guys look at me like i'm speaking a foreign language, and to them it is. but mom, now that lady can talk some crochet.

 

and once you get to exchanging letters, you might be surprised to find other things in common that you didn't know before.

[auntbubbels]

i think you should definately write to her and tell her that you started crocheting and began thinking of her and all the wonderful times you had together and that you just wanted to drop a line and say hello.

She may even offer her help to you

[crochetmeus]

I think you should just write her pretty much the same letter you wrote here. Your post was honest and heartfelt and I think she would appreciate that more than anything.

[Julie]

...The only reason I'm concerned at her reaction is that I'm having trouble finding things to chat about that arent crochet related. There never has been any animosity or anything like that, but this is, I think, the only thing we have ever had in common.

Plus, crochet is the only thing i talk about anymore anyway, regardless who I'm talking to.

 

I was just trying to look at it from her point of view, with her niece writing from out of the blue with a bunch of crochet babble when she's not been in touch for years. I'm more concerned that she'll think I'm a blithering idiot than anything.

 

Just a little, moderately OT response to give you another point of view on this. My sister and I didn't talk for years; no animosity, no fight, just nothing in common. She got married, I didn't, she had kids, I didn't, she's very social and outgoing, I'm not. My happy relationship helps but still, not the same thing. And then I joined Weight Watchers and made a big family email announcement about it. And she called me the next day. She wanted to lose weight too and wanted to know what I thought about WW. We've made time to talk to each other nearly every day for the last four months. I have talked to her more since August that I probably have in the last 10 years. It is WONDERFUL!

 

My point is, seize what you have in common with your aunt and cherish it. Let it open a line of communication and you might find you have more in common than you think. In the beginning with my sister I felt like if I didn't keep losing weight she'd stop calling me or answering my calls. I cried real tears over it in fear, because I was so happy that she and I were communicating again and I didn't want to lose that. Now we hardly talk about the weight loss stuff any more at all.

 

It can be a very scary thing to put yourself out there, but in my opinion the rewards are so vast it's worth taking the risk. Good luck!

[ranieannie]

There have been lots of wonderful suggestions here.

Speaking as an "ancient" aunt...I would be overjoyed to hear from any of my nieces, on any topic, but it would be especially great if we had something in common, and even greater if we shared an interest in crocheting. I'd bet you would naturally discuss shared memories, and that would lead to seeing things in your current lives that are in sync.

 

If you do take the plunge and then hear back, it would be great if you could share the response.

[hischildsindi]

Write your Aunt, just go for it. If you're concerned about what to write, tell of your fond memories, tell her of your family where you are, what work is like or daily life, the weather, and yes, even your new found interest that you share with her, crochet.

 

If she writes you back then awesome, if she does not, then no worries. Don't take a late or no reply as a no reply. Aunties can get busy too. Just send her a birthday card, a Christmas card and Easter card, an anything they have an ocassion for card and write a short note in it about life.

 

I have a Great-Aunt who is just amazing, she loves anything we write about, from the stupid snow to the beautiful anything and even the 'man the house is a pit, I gotta go clean now.....' type of thing.

[mythunderbird]

i would defiently write her. i know that sometimes people drift apart, and then its like wow, i wish we had kept in touch, is your family still in touch with this auntie? i would write to her and tell her what you told us, that you love and miss her that you have awesome memories and that you want to reconnect. maybe send her a little something you made as was mentioned. bookmark, snowflake/potholder anything small, and they she could see how your talent is and where it is at, and you never know she might try and help you. i have a nephew who for years we only kept in verey sporatic touch, and now since we started again, we talk every single day. is a joy as i miss him, he is in texas and going through some very hard times as he has stomach cancer, i encourage him when he gets down. so i say go for it, better now than never and defiently before its to late:hug :hug

[CrochetinClara]

If you have been thinking about, then you need to do it! Don't wait!

 

I was very close to my Aunt, and she passed away almost three years ago, and boy do I miss her! She loved to talk politics!