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I've got to tell y'all what happened to my 63 Squares Afghan! (long story)

Natasha

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Natasha Enthusiast

Natasha

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I really need to get this all out of my head...and I can't post it on my blog because my cousin may read it and spill the beans.

 

In June, I started work on the 63 Squares afghan with the idea of giving it to my mother. I was thinking of her when I picked the yarn colors, and every stitch was made with her in mind. Y'all, my mother is the greatest and I really wanted to make something special for her. It wasn't intended to be a surprise, and I talked to her about it all along.

 

So, I finished the afghan in mid-October and the first chance I had to give it to her was yesterday, Thanksgiving Day. She really loved it and was amazed at all the time and work (I won't say skill, because it was far from perfect) I put into it. The colors matched her bedroom perfectly, and it looked great on her bed.

 

After lunch yesterday, we decided to walk next door to see my grandmother. She is 84 years old and a widow. Her kids and grandkids are all over the country, except for me and my mother. Her health isn't all that great, so she doesn't enjoy visiting with people and big gatherings and such (she didn't join us for lunch, nor did she want us to join her!), and she tends to spend a lot of time feeling sorry for herself and accusing her family of abandoning her. She can be very high-maintenance and is quite bitter sometimes.

 

My mother and I wanted to show the afghan to my grandmother, because she had actually seen me working on a couple of the squares last summer, and I had showed her the pattern book. At that time, last summer, I told my grandmother that after I finished it, I would make her something, like a throw.

 

So my mother and I walked into my grandmother's house, and when she saw the afghan in my hands, she jumped up out of her chair and squealed, "Oh, look what you made! I'll treasure it forever!"

 

Gulp.

 

She just went on and on about it, and I was looking at my mother and my mother was looking at me, and we were both saying with our eyes, what's going on?! The more my grandmother talked, the more apparent it became that she thought the afghan was a gift for her. She wanted to spread it out on her bed so she could inspect all the squares. I was totally swallowing this huge lump in my throat, trying to figure out what to do. My mother, who is the most gracious, kind woman I've ever known, let me know with her eyes that it was okay and that we needed to go along with Granny. There was absolutely no graceful way to get Granny to understand the truth...she would have been so humilated and embarrassed. She is a bit unbalanced with her emotions, and she probably would have never let me or mother forget how we had "taken" the afghan back from her, or something like that.

 

When we finally got back out to Mama's house, we were able to talk it out. We figured that Granny had been sitting there for hours feeling sorry for herself and was grasping for anything that would make her feel loved and special. Mama was okay with letting Granny have the afghan, of course, and we even joked that she could visit it every day if she wanted. Obviously, when my Granny passes on, the afghan will be my mother's again.

 

I don't for one minute begrudge my Granny that afghan, except that it wasn't made for her. You know, when we take on these big projects for someone specific, that item belongs to that person long before they ever hold it or see it. Toward the end of working on that afghan I started losing steam, but it was thoughts of Mama that kept me going. And the thought that Granny's day was brightened and that she felt loved and appreciated by me (because she is) made it possible for me to leave the afghan with her with no regrets.

 

Part of my "getting-over-it" has been thinking about what to make for my mother now (I'm not yet able to face another 63 Squares afghan, and don't know if I ever will be, LOL!). I've spent all morning looking at pattern books and picked a bobble afghan pattern that I think she'll like, because she really loved the diamond popcorn square on the 63 Squares afghan best. I've also got to pick yarns...I've got something in mind from one of the books, but looking at the store or maybe online will be uplifting and healing as I think of my Mama and her tastes (it will be the same color scheme, rose, ecru, and green).

 

If you made it this far, thanks for listening. :)

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Katie45694 Apprentice

Katie45694

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Well, I think you did the "right" thing and now you can make something even "better" for your Mom, and you'll both be able to "chuckle" about the "one that got away" afghan! LOL At least it is in a home where it will be loved and treasured and your work admired. That's probably (to her) the best present she's ever received-

 

Katie

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losingmymind2 Proficient

losingmymind2

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I know how hard it was for you and your mother to see the afghan going next door, but look how happy Granny is. You've both done the right thing. Letting your mother pick her favorite square and making that into an afghan just for her is a wonderful idea. Just keep that one safely at your mother's house!

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calico carol Apprentice

calico carol

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Natasha,

 

I loved your story! I thought it was wonderful that you and your mother let Granny have the afghan, and were so gracious and understanding about it. That is so sweet~

Now you can start another afghan for your mom, and that will be so special too. At least its "all in the family", and your mom knows that eventually the other one will be "hers" again! I can just imagine how that afghan made your grandma's day. Both my grandmas crocheted beautifully...but they both died when I was 15. I'm now 51, and I wish so much they could see what I inherited from them...this love of crocheting! I'm so glad your grandma can see and appreciate what you do with your hands...treasure that!

 

Carol in CA

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donnalynn2 Experienced

donnalynn2

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WOW! It's great that your mom was so understanding and just let granny have it. I can understand how you feel though. So much hard work and all the while thinking of your mom while making it...

 

Instead of doing another 63 squares, why not do the 35 grannies? ROFL!!!! I'll bet you're squared-out, aren't you???

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Pink Contributor

Pink

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What a wonderful thing you both did for your granny. I can see from reading your story that you are just like the good and generous mamma you admire so much.

 

Thank you for sharing such a poignant story.

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ranieannie Newbie

ranieannie

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Your grandma received a double-strength gift of love! :manyheart You and your mom gave her a present she'll never even know about, because of your selflessness.

 

Whatever you make for your mom, it will be beautiful, and she will love it twice as much, because she will know you really made her two!

 

Blessings to you, that you were able to "go along" and allow grandma to keep your precious creation.

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crappiefisher Newbie

crappiefisher

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just know that you did the right thing. i realize that your granny is depressed and looking for attention but doesn't want anyone to think that she's looking for attention (i.e., been there done that with relatives - it's sad) and now she will feel so loved with that afghan.

 

wow! what a great story!

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keinaw Newbie

keinaw

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That is so Great, WOW ,so for X-MAS corchet granny a pillow cover to match as a present to completeit. Im sure it would make your Grandmothers day,as { IT }will be your Moms treasure TOO.

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Twinnish Rookie

Twinnish

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That's a sweet story. You and your mom are sweethearts! Why don't you plan a 'girl's day out' with your mom and look at yarn and patterns together? She can pick out a pattern and yarn with your help for you to make for her. That way it can be extra special. Just make sure she doesn't pick out one that's too crazy-making, like the 63 squares!

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Stitchinpick Enthusiast

Stitchinpick

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How SWEET! :hug I agree with Twinnish...take your mom out for a smoothie and shopping. Let her pick the yarn and the pattern. (It isn't too risky because you are with her to say -- "Not that one! It is beyond my abilities.") :lol You would both have a blast dreaming about them all.

 

There are a zillion and one gorgeous ghan patterns (and I think I own all of them :hook and if I don't, I will find it and own it too!) You wouldn't have to twist my arm very hard to go spend a day dreaming over patterns. :heehee

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badrhinogillett Rising Star

badrhinogillett

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I only recently found out about Prayer Shawls. I thought it was a very appropriate thing, because I have always found that when I make an afghan for someone, I spend a great deal of time thinking about them, and hoping for the best from them. In that way, I think of most things we make as 'Prayer Afghans" (or scarves.. whatevers).

 

If you think about the 63 squares as a prayer afghan, and with all the love you put into it, it really is, then, maybe the answer to your prayer was "No. This expression of love is needed more by someone else."

 

At 84 years old and in frail health, you never know how much time you have with someone.... and it's bringing such obvious joy to your grandmother. When the sad time comes that you lose your grandmother, you'll be so happy that she was the one who ended up with the afghan instead of your mother.

 

I saw your profile, and you and I are the same age....... My last grandparent passed away 10 years ago. I'd give anything to be able to make something for them now........

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grrlsmom Contributor

grrlsmom

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That was sweet of both of you! Had that been dh's Mom and her mother, there would have been screaming and blows exchanged! If I was your Mom, I would be soooo proud of you!

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Natasha Enthusiast

Natasha

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At 84 years old and in frail health, you never know how much time you have with someone.... and it's bringing such obvious joy to your grandmother. When the sad time comes that you lose your grandmother, you'll be so happy that she was the one who ended up with the afghan instead of your mother.

 

You know, I thought about that later. I had promised to make Granny something, and planned on starting it after Christmas. But...what if her time on earth is so short that I wouldn't have been able to finish the lapghan I had in mind for her? The more I think about this, the gladder I am that she's got the 63 squares afghan now. :)

 

I read back over all the replies (thank you :hug ) and I hope y'all don't think I was tooting my own horn. I was so shocked at what happened and just needed to get it out of my head.

 

And someone had a great idea of making a pillow cover to match as a Christmas gift! :cheer I happen to have enough yarn left over to do just that...just hope I have time before Christmas.

 

As for Mama's "new" afghan, I found a gorgeous pattern in the LA "Our Best Afghans A to Z" that incorporates the popcorn stitch that she likes. I did go ahead and order the yarn from knitting warehouse.com, and it arrived yesterday (fast!). That was a lovely idea to take Mama out for a day of browsing yarn and patterns, but she's dealing with some back pain, so this will have to be a total surprise! :yay

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pb&j Apprentice

pb&j

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Natasha, I'm just reading your story and all the posts today. I just finished making the 63 squares afghan and I know how much work and effort at the end that goes into that thing! All I can say is what a beautiful story. Both you and your mother did a very gracious and loving thing by letting your granny keep that afghan. She's an old woman who has lived a long life and I know from my own mother that she probably feels like she has nothing to look forward to any more. Your afghan, even though not intended for her, made her feel special, remembered and loved. Sometimes the best gifts are those that are the hardest to give. :hug

 

Luckily, there are a zillion beautiful 'ghan patterns out there and it sounds like you and your mom are going to make the best of it. This next afghan will always remind you both of your consideration and graciousness. Bless you!

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