What would you do?

[Mom w/a Motif]

I am getting so irritated. I don't know if it's just me, or what. I made two ponchos for my neices in Texas, last year. Well I just mailed them two "Matching" ponchos for their dolls. On January 25. Today is what the 9th?I still have not heard anything from my sister-in-law. Nothing. I mailed some scarves to my other sister-in-law the same day, and got an email from her within four days. Is this just me, or would someone else get irritated, too? Is a quick "Hey, I got the package, thanks!" too hard? She has three kids, but so do I- and I found time to make her kids things... I "promised" her an afghan for my nephew (her son), but I'm beginning to have second thoughts.... Just wondering other peoples' thoughts or if its' just me...:mad

 

Tina

[Julie]

That's a real tough one. I made gifts for my mom's sisters and their kids, my cousins, for Christmas, and if it weren't for the USPS Delivery Confirmation notices I'd still be wondering if the packages arrived. I get upset too, when thank you's aren't given, but then again, just to know it got there from them, not the post office, well - that would be really nice to know!

 

Even still, if I find something I think one of them would like I'd make it in a heart beat, because ultimately I love them and want to give them a little joy. If they don't know how to express their thanks that's okay, I still love them. However, it certainly wouldn't be a priority with me like it might have been in the past. And they'd best not ask me to make something for them in a hurry, that's for sure! :bad

[deneen]

Aaargh.....that aggravates me so much--my husband's side (of course) does this all the time. They NEVER acknowledge anything. My daughter is only 5 and has to sign her own thank you cards. It's just good manners!:mad

[Mom w/a Motif]

It's on my husbands' side, for me, too! It's his sister. He says "she's just one of those people who are only nice to you when they want something." She has said things in the past, like "I have saved all the things you've made us..." I don't know...

I make my kids write their own thank you cards, too! Or if they could only write their name at the time, I would write it for them, then they could sign their names. I know some people are not good at writing/keeping in touch. But I feel- if you want to, you will. It only takes three minutes to send a quick thanks in an email.

It's nice at least to know I'm not the only one out there that feels like this!... Thanks, guys (girls)

 

Tina

[LanetteG]

A friend of my husband's had a baby last year and we sent them a baby outfit and I very carefully picked out a pattern and yarn to make a blanket too. Well I worked on it for a while and NEVER heard from them if they even recieved the first gift, so I decided I'm either just going to sell it or give it to project Linus. I hate that!

:<>

[ZingyZoid]

I am horrendous about writing Thank You notes. This was just not something taught to us when we were kids and I don't even think I knew it was standard practice until I was getting married and my MIL asked when I'd be mailing out the Thank-Yous for the shower gifts. I had said thank you and acknowledged all our gifts I just hadn't written out notes. To this day I don't write thank-yous to anyone I'm related to (and they don't write them either). We just call each other or say something when we see each other. That's just how it is in our family.

 

That said, if I received something from a relative (or anyone else) I would certainly call and thank them. Especially if it came through the mail.

 

I'd call her and say something. Tell her you wondered if the girls had received their gifts since you hadn't heard from her about it. Make a point of letting her know that it would be nice of her to let you know the package arrived safely. If she's not going to thank you she's not going to thank you but you don't have be quiet about it. She's family, she can take it.

[Mom w/a Motif]

Stacy- Thanks for your input. I actually emailed her the day I sent the package out to let her know it was coming... I would think that would be enough to say "Let me know when it gets there..." (I guess you gotta be direct with some people.) They live in Texas, we live in Michigan. We see each other maybe once a year... I guess I will just wait and see if she says thank you. If she doesn't, then I will have no problem telling her.

 

Lanette- Good thing you didn't waste your time on sending them the afghan! I'm feeling like I wasted my time and money buying the yarn, making it, then sending it. I even sent it in a cute bubble envelope with hearts all over it (extra $).:irked

 

Tina

[froggy]

That was the first thing we did in my house growing up. We had to write a little note mentioning what the gift was and how much it was appreciated it. Even if we didn't like the gift we were tought that it was the thought that counted! How hard would it be just to even send an email! Geez!:twocents

[mythunderbird]

some people are just plain stupid. i mean how long would it take to say thank you.just a few minutes of ones time for all of the wonderful stuff you did for them, i wouldn't give this person anything, and if you do still want to give stuff to the kids, well then send a note with the package with a sase to the kids and ask them to write you when they got it. even if they are small most kids can at least sign their names. then maybe mommy dearest will get the point. sorry i hate people who are rude:mad :mad :mad :mad :mad , vicki

[CraftyChristine]

<span style="font-family:comic sans ms; color:purple;">I've faced the same problem on and off throughout my crafting. I have to admit that I'm impatient and if I don't hear a response within a few weeks I get pissed off and will either 1) mope about it or 2) not make them anything else.

 

Luckily, the people that I make gifts for the most often thank me all the time. I don't think I've ever recieved an actual thank you card, but they gush about it and thank me in person, which is even better I think.</span>

[Mom w/a Motif]

I agree with you all, Vicki, Christine, and Pam. I was taught to write thank you letters, too. (Even if I didn't "like" it.) I guess maybe I am the one who's stupid. Now that I think about it, it's not like she ever sends anything to our kids (Her brothers' kids). Maybe I should stop wasting my time.

 

I have one more neice, my brother's little girl... She already has two ponchos, but maybe she needs a couple more for next year?) (She's only 21 months old.) And a couple for her dolls? I guess I'll spend my time on people who appreciate it...

 

Tina

[Ambersafghans]

I had someone order an afghan and even though I emailed after they should have gotten it, they never confirmed. That is pretty annoying. Maybe you could call or email and ask if she recieved a package? To make sure it's not lost.

Amber

[mythunderbird]

hi, i think your doing the right thing, i mean if you do still want to make ther kids something, do it for love and know that you will not recieve squat from the parents(big old dumb !@#$@#$%^&*()__)(*&^%$# people that they are!!!!LOL) you have a good outlook, keep smiling, your loved here. vicki:D! !! !

[Sue89]

This is why I'm trying to be careful who I give crocheted items to. Some people like it and appreciate it. Others like it but take for granted the amount of time and effort spent on it. Some people don't like anything "home made" and just give a polite thanks or no thanks at all.

 

When it comes to kids it gets extra tricky because they're so fussy about what they want to be seen in. I still have no idea how half my Christmas gifts went over. You remember how in childhood there'd always be that one female relative who'd send you things you only wore to be polite? I'm afraid of becoming that relative. :o So I crocheted hats for my nephews and niece for Christmas figuring if they didn't like them they'd be easy to stash in that bottom drawer and they could use the Florida weather as an excuse not to wear them. One nephew really liked his and his mom emailed me a picture of him wearing it. I didn't hear a word from the other three. I spent more time and energy on my sisters' gifts because they both have tried crocheting in the past and appreciate the work that goes into it.

 

I guess Vicki's right and if you just do it for the pleasure of giving and don't expect the thanks you'll feel better about it. There are always those few who just never think to give feedback to the gift-giver.

[Mom w/a Motif]

Thank you Amber, Vicki and Sue. I am going to wait until after this weekend (to see if she emails me- if she emails me, she usually does it on the weekend.) If she doesn't do it this weekend, I will email her and "see if she got it." (I haven't had it returned to me, yet.) Next Friday is a month since I sent the package. I know the girls wear the ponchos, because she sent us a yearly newsletter in December w/ pictures of the kids, and the girls both had their ponchos on.(She did send a "thank you for the 'goodies' " note for the ponchos.) And I know the three year-old will love the doll poncho, she loves her babies and dressing them, etc.. (Sigh....) I guess if I do anything else for the kids, it will be for the kids, and not to expect any feedback. Or maybe send a SASE with it. (That might just make me mad, too, because I probably won't even get that back!) Thank you for all your feedback, though! I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels this way!...

:grouphug

Tina

[mythunderbird]

tina, :hug :hug , you are loved here

[Mom w/a Motif]

Thank You:)h

[phatballet]

I would pick up the phone and call. Life is busy and the best intentions get side tracked by more immediate things all the time. If you call, then you get to speak to your nieces, too!

 

Hope it all works out.

 

:h-val

D

[Mom w/a Motif]

D from phatballet, you were right. I finally emailed her last night, "wondered if the package got there, I mailed it a while ago.." She emailed me back right away, and said she "was SO sorry if she didn't email me back, the girls love the ponchos, I should sell them on ebay, they would sell like hotcakes...." Guess I shouldn't have sat here and stewed... I feel so much better now. I guess next time I will get delivery confirmation on the packages I send, at least then I won't worry if it got there or got lost! Thanks everyone for your comments, they really made me feel better.

I Crochetville.

Tina

[mythunderbird]

hi so glad that you finally heard from her. i guess sometimes people get to busy, but i still think it was rude of her to not call you, or even e-mail, only takes a minute ya know!!!!!

 

:hug vicki

[Mom w/a Motif]

I know, Vicki. That's how I feel, too. But I'm glad I finally heard from her. (Even if I did have to "ask".) I always tell my husband he must have been switched in the hospital.:bad

 

Tina

[mythunderbird]

:w-lol :w-lol :w-lol

 

 

your probably right. :lol vicki

[viviskins]

So glad you got that resolved. Its terrible to feel unappreciated...

 

and I just want to say...

 

I am horrendous about writing Thank You notes. This was just not something taught to us when we were kids and I don't even think I knew it was standard practice until I was getting married and my MIL asked when I'd be mailing out the Thank-Yous for the shower gifts. I had said thank you and acknowledged all our gifts I just hadn't written out notes. To this day I don't write thank-yous to anyone I'm related to (and they don't write them either). We just call each other or say something when we see each other. That's just how it is in our family.

 

this is me, wasn't taught any of this, but I am always very appreciative of gifts and let the people know...I guess everyone has their own way don't they?

[Mom w/a Motif]

Yes, I guess so. I know that if we lived close by each other and saw each other a lot, she would have probably thanked me in person, I guess people just so busy and forget about things..

Maybe I'm just perimenopausal and let things get to me too much! (Hee hee.)

 

Tina

[neenas3]

unfortunately, some people just dont know how to say thank you, even if you give them the gold out of your teeth. my sister in law is the same way. i always give what i think are nice, thoughtful gifts to her 3 boys and not one single time have i ever heard those words. i dont want her to kiss my backside about it or anything, but maybe she could at least acknowledge the gift just once. trust me, you are an angel, handmade gifts just dont fall out of the sky. they are lucky to have you to make them such great things:cheer