What would you do?

[cinfulkarmah]

Growing up we were never taught to write thank you notes. I started doing them on my own. Now I do them for the big holidays like Christmas. I also do little ones for other gifts like Anniversary, birthday, etc. My oldest is old enough that she makes out a drawing or something to send the person as a thank you.

 

It is always nice to know that your gift was appreciated if nothing else than for the thoughtfulness of the giving.

[smyz64]

I just have to put in my like story. My cousins are highly religious, and I spent like months making a filet tablecloth with the Lord's Prayer on it. I never heard anything, then my mom finally asked her if she had ever received it, and she said she "didn't have anywhere to put it, so she SMOOCHED IT UP AND USED IT AS A CHRISTMAS TREE SKIRT!!!!!" So, in other words, you could not see the words or anything. I was so mad, and she will never get anything ever again.

[Mom w/a Motif]

Well I have sent her the last handmade things she is ever getting from me, I decided. You are as "busy" as you want to be. It is not that hard to type a two minute email saying, "thank you, we got the package." I know they are online a lot, because it comes up in my sidebar (IM) everytime they are online. Oh well. I will make things for people I know appreciate it from now on.

 

Tina

[Tampa Doll]

I am so glad that I ran across this thread.

 

I have the same problem with my daughter-in-law. Maddison and Sydney's mother. I send things and if it wasn't for the post office, I would not know if they got there or not.

 

We gave all our grandchildren a precious moments bible. When we were getting ready to send Madison's, we e-mailed my dil and asked if she would check the other bible and tell us what was written in the front. It had been a while since we sent a bible up. Anyway, when we heard from her, she asked if we were checking to see if she still had it. Can you imagine how I felt?

 

The only thing that keeps me making things is that it is for the girls. I did it for my pleasure. This is why I keep most of my dolls and don't give them away.

 

It is funny thought, I sent a bed doll to a friend of mine in England. As soon as she opened it, she sent me an e-mail telling me how beautiful it was, and how much she loved it.

 

I am just glad that I am not the only one this bugs.

 

I love the gee I have been busy excuse. How long does it take to send in an e-mail 'I GOT THE PACKAGE' ?

[diamond]

Hey Tina...same thing happened to me right before Christmas. 2 of my sisters and my nephew & his wife had mentioned that my great-niece (nephew's daughter) wanted a poncho but only from Aunt Cheryl (me). One sister offered to buy her one but she only wanted one from me. My great-niece never called me, IM'd me on AOL or emailed me requesting this poncho. But I went ahead and made her the poncho with fun fur trim, 2 hats (1 beanie, 1 brimmed), mittens, hand muff, and scarf.....all matching. I had also made 2 ponchos for 2 of my sisters at the same time. I had put everything aside to get my great-nieces poncho done before anything else. She never called, emailed, or IM'd me that she got the poncho. I know she did....my nephew emailed me pictures with her wearing them all, said how much she loves them all and how often she wears them. Yet, still I haven't to this day received one word from her. She's not an infant, she's 10 years old. She's always on AOL. She knows how to use a phone. How much effort or time could it take to either pick up the phone & call me or to IM or email me a quick ? Just say I got it, love/hate it, ?? Where are their manners????

[sjkmaurice]

I also grew up not writing thank you notes, but I always acknowledge a gift by phone or by e-mail. I recently made a child-size afghan for my brother's daughter (2 yrs old) that consisted of squares our grandmother made before she died 5 years ago, along with my own squares. He KNEW I was making and sending it and the significance and he has yet to acknowledge that he even received it. He never acknowledges packages from my mother, either, and it's not like we're going to punish the child by not sending her stuff because her father's inconsiderate. And I hate to e-mail him and ask for confirmation because then I feel stupid. Sigh.

[topperarnold]

Oh my gosh! I would have been sooooo hurt!

 

Sara

Iand I spent like months making a filet tablecloth with the Lord's Prayer on it. I never heard anything, then my mom finally asked her if she had ever received it, and she said she "didn't have anywhere to put it, so she SMOOCHED IT UP AND USED IT AS A CHRISTMAS TREE SKIRT!!!!!"

[goldi316]

You know, I was raised by Miss Manners herself, thank you notes were de rigeur in our house. Once I got out on my own, I got kind of lazy, though and was very poor about writing those thank you's. But I never had a problem with calling to say "thanks, I loved it!", and with the advent of emails it got so much easier to do that I have no problem with it anymore.

 

I agree, our younger generations seem to be growing up with a rather jaded attitude about all of this, with an attitude almost of entitlement to be receiving these things. Perhaps a cylce or two of holidays without any of the wonderful gifts might make them sit up and take notice? If they ask "why didn't you send me anything?" you would have your opening to say "I didn't think you liked it since you never said anything, no thank you or anything, so I decided to quit doing it!" Of course, maybe they won't even notice that either.

 

It is a sad commentary on our degenerating culture. And I still can't believe someone would ruin a special tablecloth that had been worked on so hard! I think I would have disowned that family member on the spot!

[Mom w/a Motif]

It just irritates me to no end. I got confirmation on the package this time, so at LEAST I'll know if it got there or not.

 

I agree with everything you said, Goldi. I can't believe someone would put a handcrochted tablecloth like that on the floor, either. Well, I guess it's almost as bad as letting the cat sleep on a baby blanket (I made my cousin a granny square baby afghan for here daughter, and heard from another family member that when they went over there the cat was laying on it, on the floor.) It's hard not to say anything, too. But, like sjkmaurice said

I hate to email him and ask for confirmation because then I feel stupid>

Same with me. I am not going to ask for a thank you. If they can't take two minutes out of their "busy" schedule (....she doesn't work, she goes to school part time, but I see her online a lot....) Forget it! It almost makes you not want to do anything for anyone, any more.... Except your own kids.

 

Tina

[Marla]

I often don't have time to write every day thank you notes myself unless it's a quick email etc. However, I do verbally thank the person, often more than once even if it wasn't a very "appreciated" gift. Even if she has 3 kids and time is short, too short to sit down and write a note (which I can understand and I don't even have kids yet) she could still pick up the phone or somehow acknowledge it.

 

Even my cousin who doesn't find 5 minutes to sit down for herself from 5am til midnight is still acknowledging the baby blanket I made her son over 4 years ago. I had my poncho on the other day and she asked if I made it from the stuff I made "Carson's beautiful baby blanket" from. She doesn't have time to write but at least she lets me know it was appreciated.

 

I plan on sending written thank you's for gifts from my upcoming wedding showers and wedding, but unless it's a very special gift I often don't have time to write and send thank you notes either unless it's a quick email or it's a very special gift or person etc. BUT I make sure it is at least thanked for and acknowledged somehow. If she has email or a phone she could do the same... takes me about 20-30 minutes I often don't have to write a postal note, prepare it etc. not to mention mailing it. But takes about 5 minutes or less to either pick up the phone or send an email. Would it kill her to lose an extra 5 min of sleep before she goes to bed at night, just one time?

[Marla]

I'd like to add I took about an extra 2 minutes at Christmas to send a Christmas card to a shut in lady, who is very ill probably slowly dying of a host of numerous illnesses. Somehow this wonderful elderly lady just keeps on fighting. I've never met the lady, don't know much more than her name and a tiny bit of her details.

 

With all that is wrong with this lady, as disabled as she is by her illnesses (I do know she can't even get out of bed without help) I would have simply hoped my little card might have cheered her up a bit.

 

Imagine my shock about a week later when I got about a 2 page long card and letter hand written by this lady thanking me for writing her and telling me how sweet I was to remember her etc!!

 

If an elderly lady in such miserable condition, under the tremendous burden of all her life's problems could find it in her heart to write someone she didn't even know, I would think a family member could take 2 seconds to pick up the phone. Or better yet email if they have email. Much reminds me of the parable in the bible of the ten lepers who were healed. Only one came back to say thank you.

[twoqtgirls]

It aggravates me too. I sent my best friend from high school and her daughters scarves I made - I got an email acknowledging them and telling me about who was wearing what. I sent one to my sister and have no idea if she got it or not! I gave my mom one when she was here, and she called me to tell me she wore it to church with one of her suits and about the compliments she got.

 

At least shoot me an email and tell me you got the package.