Ever been discouraged?

[TrinaLRose]

AS I sit here and read what others have gone through and deal with i have to wonder if anyone been so discouraged by someone that you have stoned crocheting for a bit. I remember how when i was married to my ex he would always get on me about my crocheting. He would like the stuff I would make for his family, but when it came down to making something just to make it he would get very upset and say he is not wasting money on that. After a while I would just not crochet cause it hurt to bad to hear how its a waste of time and money. Then out of the blue he would want me to make a doll dress for his grandma or aunt, then it was ok. I still have a hard time making something just to make it but I'm gettin better. Anyone else ever have this happen to them?

[magiccrochetfan]

Hmmmm...sounds like there are good reasons he is now the " ex"! Sounds very controlling.

 

You don't have to give anyone else that much power over your personal decisions. If you enjoy crocheting just for the fun of it, you certainly are not hurting anybody:hook. Hopefully as time goes by, you will feel better and better about yourself and your chosen hobby:cheer:yes

[Monique39]

I agree 100% be your own person!

[Nira]

I completely agree with Kathy!

I find it relaxing. I'm lucky with my fiancee. He is always asking "Do you want more yarn?" If we could afford all the yarn I want I would definitely say yes more often. Sometimes I like to crochet a pattern just to see if I can make it.

[Aggie May]

:cheerMy poor husband, of almost 50 years, takes me to the yarn shop because I do not drive, then he sits and waits while I buy yarn that I do not really need to make stuff for no-one in particular.

I have fun looking at a ball of yarn and trying to picture what is trapped inside the ball waiting to get out.

If my husband heard me say that he would think I had finally gone loopy.

Maybe you can try this method until you feel relaxed and at ease with what you are doing.

Then you can try to match my stash of "stuff" I have in my sewing/craft, junk room.

 

Remember, the person who made you feel like that has moved on to a different life so you need to do the same.

 

Sit in the bath and crochet, leave the dishes in the sink and crochet, leave the vacuum cleaner in the middle of the floor and crochet, take your crochet on the bus, to the movies, to a meeting etc......

You will finally feel free to crochet what you want, when you want to, and wherever you want to.

Most of all, have fun.

Colleen:hug

[AshyN]

I had a bf right out of high school who thought crocheting was a waste of time...He wouldn't even let me spend my own money on yarn...I was so sad he would always put me down. I absolutely hated myself. That worthless excuss for a man stole everything my parents made me work for my car (cause I was stupid put his name and mine on the title) My camara with all my senior pics. on it. My minny laptop I had just bought. MY AFGHANS I made....needless to say I wasn't even with him 6 months but that was enough to do the damage. Then when me and Zach got together it been a yr now he loves the fact I crochet being so young. He is the greatest and encourages me all the time. I keep my head up and never look back bc wanna be men like are exes are self centered and control freaks...My advice is leave the past behind. The future and your happiness is worth so much more than bad memories.

[Ravenaier]

My husband thinks crocheting is a waste of time. I tend to ignore him.

[reneeann]

Well, there was a time when I was in a funk, mentally and physically and my creativity felt like it was gone. There are people in this world that just do not appreciate hand made items and crafts, then there are those who do.

 

For several years I had made my sisters crocheted hanging towels, pot holders, and dishcloth sets for Christmas. I would try and make sure the sets matched their kitchens.

 

Anyways one Christmas, at the family Christmas, my youngest sister went to open hers and announced this is prob another crocheted towel that I won't use and pot holders I 'll just throw out. You can buy new ones for a buck. The room went dead silent. I don't think I have never been so hurt as I was in that moment. I sat there pretty much stunned. I was working full time, had three kids I was raising and I took time to make those special. Yeah I could of went and bought a set for a buck.

 

One of the other sisters got up out of her chair walked over to my youngest sister took the towels and potholders from her and said you can just give those to me cause I love them and its one my favorite gifts I get Its something I use. Then she turned to me and said from now on I get two sets at Christmas. I will never forget that, to this day that sister gets two sets. The other gets a buck gift from the dollar store.

 

I am lucky my husband pretty much supports my crocheting and scrapbooking. He is six foot one and one year I made him an afghan that measured seven feet long. He loved it.

He also likes my scrapbooks, esp the Christmas ones.

[lhendrix35]

I, too, agree with Kathy

[jillybean]

People are always saying things like "no one can make you feel good or bad, you allow it to happen", but it's just not that simple. I was in a relationship that started like any other, two people with similar and different interests learning about each other. Before I knew it I was avoiding things I knew they didn't like and making decisions based on how they would feel about it to avoid their anger. When I realized what I was doing it surprised me, that wasn't me, I was strong willed and sure of myself! It was insidious. So did I allow this person to suck the creativity out of me? I'm not sure, but while in that relationship, I didn't crochet at all, I didn't do anything creative that I used to love to do. Funny.

[Bailey4]

I think it has very little to do with crochet and much to do with control and lack of support. Take out crochet and put in anything else and ask how supportive they are and how much freedom you have.

 

For many people crochet is just another hobby that has costs and expenses that are no different from the money that people spend on lots of other hobbies that people seem to forget about when they are finding fault with the money spent on yarn, etc. I do make presents and some practical items, but sometimes projects never get finished. My crochet budget is no different than the money I spend on other hobbies that don't create anything, but memories. I don't feel guilty about the memories. I can afford them, neither should I feel guilty about my crochet.

[KeepsakeKrochet]

I had an ex boyfriend who was like that. But my husband is amazing, he loves when I crochet, he even encouraged me to start a business. Which I've always wanted to do but I was scared. My suggestion is to surround yourself with people who are supportive and positive, otherwise you'll get sucked into everyone elses negativity. Who needs that? I'm glad your getting back into it!

[magiccrochetfan]

People are always saying things like "no one can make you feel good or bad, you allow it to happen", but it's just not that simple. I was in a relationship that started like any other, two people with similar and different interests learning about each other. Before I knew it I was avoiding things I knew they didn't like and making decisions based on how they would feel about it to avoid their anger. When I realized what I was doing it surprised me, that wasn't me, I was strong willed and sure of myself! It was insidious. So did I allow this person to suck the creativity out of me? I'm not sure, but while in that relationship, I didn't crochet at all, I didn't do anything creative that I used to love to do. Funny.

 

I agree with you, it is insidious. I've been there myself, and was surprised at myself too. And it is not simple at all.

 

but what i would say is that once a person realizes this is happening, she has choices about how to deal with it. She can speak up and let the controlling person know that she does not appreciate their disparaging comments. Perhaps they are repeating things that were said to them as a child by an overly controlling parent, and they really do not mean to hurt but don't realize the impact of their words, and if they get feedback they will work on being more supportive. If speaking up feels dangerous, LEAVE the relationship before the anger escalates and somebody gets hurt.

 

If one's own self perception has been changed by being in a controlling relationship, counseling or a self help group might be needed in order to feel good about oneself again.

[papersmiles]

Crochet, like all other handcrafts, is an art. You should always do it because you love it, revel in it, get excited by new patterns and fiber. But most of all crocheting must be part of who you are.

 

When I am crocheting I am in my own world. I don't give a fig about what anyone else thinks or says. The very act of fingering yarn or finishing an intricate doily or using the latest accessory I've just made gives me a quiet but strong sense of self-worth because I am being totally creative with only a "hook" and some "pretty string"....LOL. Now THAT'S talent.

 

Settle into your comfy chair, grab your hook and some special fiber and crochet some joy into your day.

[Sylviaf]

I am so lucky. My father was always proud of the sewing/crocheting/crafts I did and I married a man who is at least as supportive if not more than my dad was. I am glad that your ex is now an "ex."

[whitneyallison]

Sort of, I started a new project the other day and my mom said to me "why don't you just pick a project and stick with it". I like to have several projects going at the same time and sometimes it's nice to be able to just start and finish something in a short period of time. She's not a crocheter so she doesn't get that.