Rationalizing Time/Labor Involved...

[pkock]

How can I explain it to DH and others when I can't quite understand it myself?

 

DH understands the concept of homemade gifts - I've done that for years to save money at Christmas. Ponchos for the kids on our list, his mom's lap-ghan (she was in a wheelchair and this was just the size she needed), headbands, fun fur scrunchies and flip flops, etc.

 

But now I'm into the charity thing. I make squares for comfort afghans, baby blankets for a group I belong to, and DH doesn't really understand why I do it. I got a lot of the yarn free, leftovers from other people's projects work great for granny squares, but there's a lot of labor involved. I'm fast and pretty good at it so it's not as labor-intensive as it might be for a newbie, but still.

 

I just started making a gorgeous (If I do say so) ripple afghan. DH complimented me on it, saying it was beautiful and asking who it was for. Well, I'm donating it to DD's YMCA gymnastics team so they can raffle it off at the meet they're hosting in about a month. He wasn't pleased. The idea that I bought 12 skeins of Red Heart and am putting so many hours in just to give the thing away is killing him. But if I do this, and they make $70-80 on the raffle (maybe more, this is a big meet, 200 girls) that makes up for other fundraisers I'm not going to do, like selling candy or candles or something.

 

Besides, last year one of the moms made stained glass ornaments to sell at the meet and got commissioned orders.

 

And I'm doing this in the time I'd normally just sit doing nothing, like evenings by the TV or sitting at the kids' sports practices and games. Today I crocheted about 12 rows at DD's gym meet (they're LOOOONG!). I make a point of bringing my crochet tote bag with me everywhere I go, whether it's filled with a WIP or just odd scrap balls to make into squares.

 

But maybe I'm weird. I have NEVER seen anyone else doing this at a kids' sports practice, in a waiting room, etc. Granted I watch the kids less, but sometimes I think they're better off that way instead of having mom hover and yell like some moms do.

 

Where am I going with this? I don't know...um...just asking has anyone else faced these issues? Am I nuts?

[MarvieN]

My hubby is pretty supportive of my crocheting, he doesn't really "get it" but he supports it =)

 

There are lots of ways to rationalize it, as you said, you'd be sitting doing nothing if you weren't crocheting, so it keeps your hands busy. Most people find it keeps them out of the fridge and/or they smoke less because they're too busy crocheting to stop for idle snacks/smokes. It keeps your hands limber and is good for folks with arthritis. Your finished projects go to a good cause, you're bringing warmth/happiness to someone who otherwise wouldn't be warm or know that people care enough to have put those hours into a hat, blanket, slippers etc. for them. Besides, you can't keep every single thing you make or your house would be overflowing with crocheted stuff

 

I crochet because it makes me happy. It gives me something to do while I ride the bus, watch tv, or waiting for kiddo to finish some assignment. It relaxes me ... mostly, sometimes I get frustrated by patterns or not being able to figure something out, but that challenges me so it's not really a bad thing! I get a sense of pride when I have conquered a particularly difficult pattern and turned out a gorgeous item.

 

So no, you aren't alone =) Some hubby's are worse than others, but I don't think any of them really, really, get it =) At best, they buy us yarn simply because it makes us happy/shuts us up

[AidanM]

Just say that it's better to give it away than to waste it. You can only swathe your family in so much yarn before they start to donate your gifts anyway. Why not cut out the middle man, eh?

[eurolyons]

It sounds like it's the money thing that's your DH can't get around. Even though it's for charity and a really, really good cause. And what's great about what you are doing, is that you're not just writing a check...you are putting forth a part of your gift and talent and isn't that what charity's suppose to be about...that you give back a part of you so to speak...

 

It really is amazing when we tithe (in what ever form that means to us) the rewards that come back 10 fold and then some...

 

Ask your husband what he would do for charity...and if he still doesn't see your point, let it go...do what feels right in your heart about this...sometimes what needs to happen is that he needs to see the results later and then maybe he'll come around.

[eurolyons]

But maybe I'm weird. I have NEVER seen anyone else doing this at a kids' sports practice, in a waiting room, etc. Granted I watch the kids less, but sometimes I think they're better off that way instead of having mom hover and yell like some moms do.

 

 

No, you're not weird...I crochet in public...on the trolly, bus, ferry, in the car, on the plane...where ever...

 

And as far as rationalizing it...there is no need to rationalize it...it's your passion...better to put that passion to use than not, period.

[ladybugb228]

personally, if i go anywhere that i even think i might be waiting idly- i take a crochet project with me. that way, i'm not wasting my very valuable time. i've only been crocheting for nearly 3 years, but i got the bug very bad, very fast. it took some time, but my husband adjusted to not having my full attention. and he now knows that it makes me happy & that is good for him, too! he doesn't complain about the cost because he is blissfully unaware- but it's my money that pays for it, so that's beside the point!! i work in a hospital & make hats for the chemo kids here, & i think he really appreciates the value of that. i don't think you need to justify the good things you are doing!

[Sabra]

Quite honestly, I don't think it needs rationalization. I truly have never understood why idleness is so beloved in our society. Why is it better to sit and do nothing than to do something, especially when you're doing that something for a good cause?

[eurolyons]

I was telling my husband about this thread and right off the bat he totally got the whole charity thing...and he can see the benefits even if something were made that wasn't for charity...like another poster said, he knows this makes me happy...end of discussion.

[Empress Busy Bee]

But now I'm into the charity thing. I make squares for comfort afghans, baby blankets for a group I belong to, and DH doesn't really understand why I do it.

 

Does he not believe in charity? Some people don't, which is sad. This isn't costing you anything though so it really shouldn't bother him.

Besides I believe what goes around, comes around.

 

The idea that I bought 12 skeins of Red Heart

 

I can almost understand that if you're tight on money. However Red Heart isn't expensive and your daughter needs the money for her team. It's a fact of life for any sports or extra activity. I wish PTA would do stuff like that rather than sell the crap they sell and instill unfair competive practices in our kids.

 

and am putting so many hours in just to give the thing away is killing him.

 

What's it to him the hours you put in it? You're not taking anything away from him are you? So what are you supposed to do with your free time? Pick your nose?

 

But maybe I'm weird. I have NEVER seen anyone else doing this at a kids' sports practice, in a waiting room, etc.

 

Nope, you're not weird. I do it all the time, too. I've even taken to the movies.

 

Maybe if you sit and talk to him it'll help. I don't know. Good luck with it though and good luck with the raffle. Post a picture of the afghan when it's finished.

[pkock]

 

What's it to him the hours you put in it? You're not taking anything away from him are you? So what are you supposed to do with your free time? Pick your nose?

 

Oh, you know, I'm supposed to be doing stuff for him and the kids. Like cleaning the house better (it's not bad, but not perfect), cooking great food, working harder as a freelancer to earn money. I do those things, but I just can't be ON all the time, you know?

 

No, to tell the truth, he's not terribly into charity. He was pleased to hear about the baby blankets and comfort afghans, though, especially with the donated yarn. We're not so broke that $30 of yarn is going to ruin us. I can see if I went crazy and bought hundreds of dollars of craft supplies and never finished anything...like my mom...

 

Anyway, thanks everyone for your support! Good to know I'm not crazy after all. Well, at least not because of this anyway.

[momofgmd]

I must say I have a very understanding husband. He has asked questions about this crocheting addiction that I have, and I have finally just told him, "It's a girl thing." He has taken that to mean that he will probably never understand, but it is something that I really enjoy. He's OK with just that. Now he really encourages me. He still doesn't quite understand, but he's willing to let it go because he loves me. That and he knows that I will absolutely stay within our budget.

[crochet smartcat]

I can understand a bit of what you are going through. I do find like others that crocheting relaxes me like nothing else and it is productive. Now the time that I would have spent with my nose buried in a book is spent with my nose buried in yarn but it is not as absorbing or intensive as reading can be. I love books on CD or mp3 format that I can listen to while I crochet, but now I feel productive too. I have a wonderful husband who while doesn't totally understand, doesn't have a problem with yarn all over the house (I usually am the one bothered by the mess more than he is).

 

One thing to consider is if you didn't crochet for charity, how much cash would you be donating instead? I think spending $30 on yarn as a donation in which the charity can earn double that is a worthwhile expenditure. I wish I could donate like that to my kids fundraisers too. For gifts, I am planning a wonderful sweater for my sister that in a store would have cost over $100 and I am making is for around $25 and some time on my part, likewise with other gifts I am and have made. I have saved money and there is a part of me attached to the gift as well.

 

My husband and I are a little strapped for cash and so would probably not donate to charities as much as I am with my crocheting, but since I always need something going nowadays (that I'm addicted) crocheting for charities is nice for me and I get to help other people out.

[racerose]

Sometimes the thought crosses my mind that I'm spending all this time crocheting a dishcloth, blanket, sweater, hat, scarf or whatever, and I could buy one at the store for less than I spent on the yarn.

 

But crocheting preserves my sanity! Everyone needs something to help deal with stress; and we use crochet!

 

Maybe compare crocheting with whatever your husband does to relieve stress. does he watch football every weekend on t.v.? Well, suggest he give that up in order to "work" more.

 

You know that saying for husbands, "if she's not happy, I'm not happy". Your husband needs to know that a crocheting wife is much better than a stressed out wife.

[jacqui]

Well i have the same problem only its my 16 year old son who hates me giving stuff i've made away my husband is just happy i'm happy. I recently made a beautiful afghan for a raffle and raised over $200 for the Historical Village i'm involved with. I found out i won the raffle and decided to keep the afghan and give it to an elderly lady who is dying and tell her she one it. She is so happy. But the people i did it for told me i'm an indian giver for not re raffling it.They haven't lost anything by it but i feel awful now. So you can't please everybody.

[Burgandy]

Jacqui,

Don't feel bad. They let you participate in the raffle and your odds of winning were the same as anyone else's. If they didn't want you winning, they shouldn't have taken your money.

[mendy]

Always a good conversation starter. And as for doing things for charity, just tell him it warms your heart to be able to help:)

[Yarnmistress]

Your not crazy! You are very much in the majority here. I enjoy having a project to do when I would normally just be sitting around. I bring my crochet to Jazzercise with me and crochet a bit before class starts, I bring crochet to dr. appointments, carpool, pretty much anywhere I would have some time to get crocheting done.

[Kathleen]

I always tell my family it's not the finished project that matters, its the process. He has no argument for that

[eurolyons]

Well i have the same problem only its my 16 year old son who hates me giving stuff i've made away my husband is just happy i'm happy. I recently made a beautiful afghan for a raffle and raised over $200 for the Historical Village i'm involved with. I found out i won the raffle and decided to keep the afghan and give it to an elderly lady who is dying and tell her she one it. She is so happy. But the people i did it for told me i'm an indian giver for not re raffling it.They haven't lost anything by it but i feel awful now. So you can't please everybody.

 

An Indian giver? Oh I think not, not if you then turned around and gave it to someone else and let her think she won it...not to mention the $200.00 the Historical Village made in the first place...still, like you said, can't please everyone...

[Niccers]

How rude of the Historical Village to call you an Indian Giver? They still made their money. I wonder if they would have asked someone else to give it back to reraffle too?

 

That said, I also take my crochet everywhere. I almost constantly keep a ball of yarn in the car for something. I like to do it while I wait for the kids at the busstop and it also gives me something to do when waiting anywhere.

 

Im sure your DH is more concerned about the money factor. Mine isnt as always understanding but during those times I point out how he got a, b, and c and I never said a peep and one of those cost way less than a few skeins of yarn. That shuts him up quick.

[Harvestar]

My fiance also crochets so he sees the value of it. Though I haven't done any charity work (except sewing and making Halloween costumes for homeless kids). We also help out a lot with Girl Scouts doing astronomy activities for them - and though I have a fellowship for my work with them, I'd be doing it anyway.

 

Also, he brings a book *everywhere* with him, so he can read if he's waiting in line, or whatever. (he does this when I go shopping so I can go try on clothes without him getting bored - and he's really helpful in the whole process - gives great comments on various clothes )

 

The only thing he complained about was not being able to find a certain skein of yarn since there was so much in the closet and said that I had to hold off buying any more. (but then we have a tiny house)

[pkock]

Indian Giver? Sheesh. Maybe they thought the raffle was "fixed" or something? I'd never enter a raffle for my own donation. I've never won anything, but it'd be just my luck that the one thing I won would be my own donation. You did absolutely the right thing.

 

I don't think it's all about the money. I made my current WIP for the raffle on the small side, and it looks like it'll only take 1.5 skeins of each 3 colors - that means I spent $11.50. I've agreed to make another slightly larger one for the auction at his yearly family reunion, which I suppose will take up the remaining 2.5 skeins = $18.75.

 

No - it's about the time. I'd put away my needles for a few months, last spring. When I got them out again, he lectured me on the many more useful things I should be spending time on instead of crocheting. I'd started crocheting again because a prolific crocheter I knew in an online group passed away; she'd been involved in several charity projects and I wanted to honor her. He was actually pleased (appeased...) to find out why I was crocheting again - he liked the idea of squares for comfort afghans.

 

But like most guys, I suppose, it's only okay until it affects him. The first day that dinner comes from a can or the freezer instead of taking an hour on the stove because I'm on the couch with a WIP (or, for that matter, doing freelance work...but I digress) there IS a problem.

 

As for me, I think it's only a problem if I'm crocheting in order to get out of doing something else.

 

Tempting.

[eurolyons]

But like most guys, I suppose, it's only okay until it affects him. The first day that dinner comes from a can or the freezer instead of taking an hour on the stove because I'm on the couch with a WIP (or, for that matter, doing freelance work...but I digress) there IS a problem.

 

As for me, I think it's only a problem if I'm crocheting in order to get out of doing something else.

 

 

I think this is true with anything (side note to the above, dinners in our house almost always come out of the freezer, I mean the meat has to thaw out first before I can slave over the stove for an hour , but I hear what you're saying)...I haven't gotten completely involved with crocheting for charity yet...I have done a few things, but much of what I do are gifts for other people and yeah, selfishly, stuff for me as well...DH laughed at me (very lovingly) when he caught me crocheting while cooking dinner and quietly asked me if a 12 step program was in order. He has yet to really get on my case about any of the creative stuff I do, crocheting or otherwise. I think what had impressed him from the very beginning was when I planned our wedding..I made everything (or nearly everything) for it...he marvels at the creative side of me...so the crocheting is just one more way I express myself and whether he gets it or not, he knows that's a part of me and he accepts it...and fortunately my crocheting doesn't take anything away from him, 'cause he sees the end result, he's benefited from the things I've made him...he sees how happy others are with what I've made...just like I accept his hiking and incessant reading and things that he's into. More's to the point, he knows it makes me happy, just like I know the hiking and the reading makes him happy.

 

I'm really blessed to have him...but I have to say, even with my ex husband, my ex husband did appreciate that creative side of me and that was one thing he actually respected about me and didn't try to stand in the way of too much.

 

Sure there is always going to be something more "constructive" we could be doing with our time...like scrubbing the toilet or rubbing hubby's feet or whatever hubby might think is time better spent doing...of course, it can be thrown back in his face that he could be doing something more constructive than the hobbies he does...

 

Everyone is different...some people feel threatened when attention is not exclusively on them 24/7...but I don't think that's the case at all with the original poster. I think more to the point is the money being spent on a project that is then given to charity...some people have decided views about charity, regardless of whether they are giving to charity or receiving charity. Some people view charity as nothing more than a handout that doesn't do any good whatsoever and others feel insulted with any offer of help is directed towards them...how many times have we all heard, "Oh no I couldn't accept that, we (or I) don't accept charity..." (I will go to my grave never understanding that sentiment. If it's better to give than receive, who's receiving in the first place?)

 

Anyway, any hobby can be a serious outlay of cash, I don't care what it is one's doing. But I do think we all need to honor our passions, whatever they may be. And when you do that, at some point you start giving back...like crocheting for charity.

 

As far as rationalizing why you crocheting, what's the purpose...the purpose in my view is simply this: It's what I want to do, I like to do it, it keeps me off the streets and out of trouble, I see results with what I do and quite frankly there are worse things I could be doing...if the worse thing my crocheting does is occasionally dinner is late, so be it...at least dinner is still being served.

[Kim M.]

I also crochet in waiting rooms and in the pick up lane at my kid's school. I take my project with me in my truck and then when I have some time I work on it. You are not crazy, you just use your time well.

 

Kim

[Harvestar]

But like most guys, I suppose, it's only okay until it affects him. The first day that dinner comes from a can or the freezer instead of taking an hour on the stove because I'm on the couch with a WIP (or, for that matter, doing freelance work...but I digress) there IS a problem.

 

As for me, I think it's only a problem if I'm crocheting in order to get out of doing something else.

 

Tempting.

 

Ah, well, my fiance is the one that cooks. I make a few dishes, but he's the creative one in the kitchen. Of course, he likes it when I help. But the other night, when I was almost done with a project, he just washed the dishes and stayed up late to let me finish.