I Failed Horribly!

[pasteeater]

Yesterday my son [he's ten] was trying to learn to crochet. I told him he needed to get the chain stitch down before we could move on to something else. It took FOUR hours and still he couldn't get it. He made a few chains and that was it. I found out that I don't crochet like other people. Every book I looked at and every site held hooks in very different ways from me. I'm not real good with concentration and neither is my son. Four hours of this was stressful to say the least. He started crying and I felt bad because I just can't teach it to him. Everything comes very easy to him. I thought it was kind of good though that this was hard because he has never had to struggle with something. But by the end of the day I was so tense and he was depressed. It's like we accomplished nothing. I showed him books and videos online. Then he went to his room for the night and was still trying! He fell asleep holding the little chain he did. When I checked on him before going to bed he was talking in his sleep and saying "I just don't get it...I can't do it" I feel terrible about this. I don't know what to do. We both have problems with attention and for him to sit for four hours was torture for him. I could tell, I kept telling him to give it a break for the day but he took that as failure. I said nothing negative to him. I think he wants to learn because it's the ONLY thing I can do that he can't. He can cook, he cleans, he does laundry...he exercises with me and keeps up! I don't know how to teach him and that's the problem. I pointed out all the things he COULD do that I never could. He can draw, he can skateboard, he's good at a lot of things. I think that's why he's so troubled by this. Plus I think he wants to make Ami. I wanted to start him on the Lion from Lion Brand but until he can make a chain he can't do the rest. I showed my husband and he got it right on the first try. I said "Now, please explain that to Tyler" still nothing...any ideas? I feel like he should take a break but he is going to do this. I won't tell him no flat out. I don't want to discourage him. He knows how to do plastic canvas a bit and I told him he should do that. It's not the same he says. And it's not. HELP!!!!

[#1Crochetfan]

Maybe it's best to step away from it for a few days before taking up the task again. This way you'll be more patient and he, less frustrated. Since your son has the desire, that's a really great start to learning. Next, I would start with a big hook and chunky yarn first with him. He will get it in time. Just reinforce that practicing over and over again is the best way and crocheting will "click" at some point by practicing and by making mistakes. Here's a link that may be helpful :http://www.ehow.com/how_2081716_teach-kids-crochet.html. The best of luck to both of you:hug.

[mythunderbird]

first of all you HAVE NOT failed your son, just because he didn't get it right the first time(alright way to long a lesson there mom) he will learn how. now if you don't mind a couple hints from a crochet instructor i will try and help. the easiest way for children to learn is to learn to finger crochet first, how he does that is you make a loop like you would the begining of a hook crochet, then what he needs to do is put his finger in that loop then wrap the thread around his finger and pull it thru. once he has mastered that and it won;t take him long honest, then you can move on to the hook, also what kind of thread are you using and what size hook. children learn better with bigger hooks and worsted weight yarn. once he can pull that yarn thru the first time it will just be a matter of practice. send me your addy i have a book that will show him how in childrens terms, i have taught 6 year olds with it and i know he can learn from it or there are videos you can download i think. either way tell him that he will get it to just let it rest a bit. maybe your not the one who can teach him some people are not able to they can crochet beautiful work which i have seen yours and is very nice. but maybe your not clicking. do you have a place near you where you can sign him up for a class to take ie joanns michaels hobby lobby ect. imsure they have classes that he could take. but try the finger croceht first, then once he has mastered that he will be off and running. sending you both:hug:hug:hug:hug

[pasteeater]

Thanks! We went to that link yesterday too. I think we hit them all LOL. I agree it's time to take a break.

[hockeymomcrochets]

You haven't failed him, it's trial and error. Explain it to him that way. Also when I started showing my son I showed him and let him hold the hook however he could accomplish it. The first couple I made the chain and the first row on because that is the most frustrating part. So we sort of stepped backwards. He started at Row 2 (which came out a pyramid...lol) then i made the chain and he did the single crochets into it and then he went from the beginning. He also liked tunisian alot because it was easier for him to remember yo and through 2 loops and picking up each loop.

 

Wait a few days and then ask him if he wants to try it a different way and start at the 2nd, 3rd or 4th row letting him watch the yarn movement, not how you hold it. My son lets go, loops the yarn over and then pulls through, but that works for him. I don't see how, but it does.

 

Even with the tunisian I started him on row 2 or 3 because I had him watch me do his first few rows.

 

GOOD LUCK!

[smuchez1317]

Pasteeater I feel your pain. I feel as though you are reminding me of a day that I had with my son. I don't have any advice as I am trying to wait a bit and see if we both come back to it with renewed enthusiasm. One thing I am going to do is to take him to a cochet convention of sorts nearby next week. They are going to have lessons and a fashion show. So I figure maybe someone will know something that I don't and be able to get through to him. Plus he is excited about the fashion show so hopefully it will help. If you come up with anything that helps your son please let me know, and I will do the same. GOOD LUCK!

[pasteeater]

first of all you HAVE NOT failed your son, just because he didn't get it right the first time(alright way to long a lesson there mom) he will learn how. now if you don't mind a couple hints from a crochet instructor i will try and help. the easiest way for children to learn is to learn to finger crochet first, how he does that is you make a loop like you would the begining of a hook crochet, then what he needs to do is put his finger in that loop then wrap the thread around his finger and pull it thru. once he has mastered that and it won;t take him long honest, then you can move on to the hook, also what kind of thread are you using and what size hook. children learn better with bigger hooks and worsted weight yarn. once he can pull that yarn thru the first time it will just be a matter of practice. send me your addy i have a book that will show him how in childrens terms, i have taught 6 year olds with it and i know he can learn from it or there are videos you can download i think. either way tell him that he will get it to just let it rest a bit. maybe your not the one who can teach him some people are not able to they can crochet beautiful work which i have seen yours and is very nice. but maybe your not clicking. do you have a place near you where you can sign him up for a class to take ie joanns michaels hobby lobby ect. imsure they have classes that he could take. but try the finger croceht first, then once he has mastered that he will be off and running. sending you both:hug:hug:hug:hug

I like the idea of the finger crocheting! That should help. BUT I'll wait for him to bring it up. I will look into the Michael lesson idea too. We finally got one in Palm Springs one town over. Thanks! I feel better.

[mythunderbird]

your very welcome, it sometimes is the easiest for kids and also are either of you left handed if so that will also cause problems the way to solve that is to sit opposite of each other good luck:hug:hug:hug

[DesertCrocheter]

How old is he? Every kid's manual dexterity develops at a different pace. Take it in easy, short sessions (kids and dogs have short attention spans and you need to keep it fun, fun, fun!), and remember to praise and reward him for what he has learned. And then quit while he's ahead. This is an important principal in dog training, and I suspect in kid training, too. Patty

[CrochetAmore]

Hon, you have not failed! No one should expect to learn on the first try. It takes LOTS of practice!

 

your very welcome, it sometimes is the easiest for kids and also are either of you left handed if so that will also cause problems the way to solve that is to sit opposite of each other good luck:hug:hug:hug

 

Excellent point! I tried to teach my daughter to crochet but I'm left handed and she is right... I tried videos and books but neither worked... I finally ended up holding the hook in my right hand. It actually became a game to us because my stitches were sloppier than hers. I think it made her feel better that she was making something that looked nicer than mine

 

How old is he? Every kid's manual dexterity develops at a different pace. Take it in easy, short sessions (kids and dogs have short attention spans and you need to keep it fun, fun, fun!), and remember to praise and reward him for what he has learned. And then quit while he's ahead. This is an important principal in dog training, and I suspect in kid training, too. Patty

 

I agree... short sessions. Don't let your son dictate how long to work with it, you tell him how long he's allowed to work on it. Maybe try setting your sessions at a time of day that will allow only a 30 minute lesson like right before dinner time, or before bed... Anything that will create a distraction and give him a break from his frustration.

 

Good Luck and keep us posted on his progress!

[Craw]

If he's feeling bad because he couldn't get it in one days worth of practice, tell him it took me TWENTY YEARS to learn! I am not kidding! I started to learn in my twenties, never quite got it, and twenty years later I tried again and *POOF* I could do it. You get it when you're ready to get it and not a minute before. If it takes you less than twenty years, you're doing better than me! ha ha

[nucki]

I don't have any words of advice for you, because I STILL can't teach my daughter. But I wanted to send :hugs of commiseration and encouragement for both you and your son. I totally understand frustration - from BOTH ends!

[crazycrochet]

You did not fail. He will come to you again and ask. Like others have said, have him use a large hook and WW yarn, sometimes a chunky yarn is hard to see the ch. Tell him he is going to make a blanket for his ami. A square swatch can be made into wonderfull things. I have hockey skate laces around my house and find that boys seem to like using something from sports. At least your son wants you to teach him, mine wants nothing to do with it. Have faith.

[pasteeater]

He's using an H hook and varigated WW yarn. I chose the Varigated because then he could see the progress of the yarn changing colors as he made the chains. I hope he can figure it out. I'm not bringing it up again. If he decides he wants to try then I'll let him but I am going to limit it to a 30 minute time frame because he just gets so upset. Up until now everything came so easy to him, and this just isn't. He never has a hard time learning things. He tries it and it's done. Well...besides swimming lol. But it's hard to learn to swim in a wave pool. I just hope he doesn't look at crochet as a negative activity. He saw me crocheting last night and he just moaned "HOW DO YOU DO THAT???" I said, just sit and watch. Don't try right now. He got bored of that real quick. lol He's a good boy.

[crazycrochet]

An H hook is not big enough, I use an M or an N to teach kids.

[pamshooked]

Don't get discouraged just try approaching this differently. Someone else might be more relaxed in teaching him or tell him that twelve years olds have troubling crocheting. I was helping two neighbor girls and one got the chain quickly (but had trouble going further) and the other didn't get it at all. I have taught two nieces when each was around twelve and they both learnt.

When one niece was learning to drive my sister and brother-in-law were ready to give up they got so flustrated. I offered to try and we hit it off and she did great.

I'm glad you encourage your son in his interest - my grandson wants to learn things like that but his parents are afraid I'll make a sissy out of him. I use to teach his dad the same thing and there is nothing sissy about him.

[jleinhauser]

I NEVER start a beginner out by teaching the chain! I always work up a small swatch first, which gives something to hold on to, then teach the single crochet. Once the beginner has learned to do sc and the ch 1 to turn, teaching the starting chain becomes easy.

 

Working into starting chain is one of he most difficult of crochet maneuvers. I don't kjow why we seem to feel that has to be the first lesson when we teach in person.

 

And a short fun session should be the starting point -- never longer than a half hour or even less with some children.

 

Jean Leinhauser

[mythunderbird]

I NEVER start a beginner out by teaching the chain! I always work up a small swatch first, which gives something to hold on to, then teach the single crochet. Once the beginner has learned to do sc and the ch 1 to turn, teaching the starting chain becomes easy.

 

Working into starting chain is one of he most difficult of crochet maneuvers. I don't kjow why we seem to feel that has to be the first lesson when we teach in person.

 

And a short fun session should be the starting point -- never longer than a half hour or even less with some children.

 

Jean Leinhauser

 

 

im curious how you teach them the sc without the chain st? do you have them continue on then in your work? thats a interesting way of doing it hmm learned something new today:lol:lol:lol:lol

[mythunderbird]

An H hook is not big enough, I use an M or an N to teach kids.

 

 

i agree at least a K depending on how old the child is/;)

[Taffyrn]

also consider not starting with the chain stitch.... some people do better learning the single or double crochet first..... just like people have trouble learning to cast on and do the first row in knitting.....

I sometimes get people past the first few rows and let them practice then.... they get to keep moving and get the flow down and then later try to get the beginning part down.... works well and keeps people from giving up

 

goodluck

[crazycrochet]

I NEVER start a beginner out by teaching the chain! I always work up a small swatch first, which gives something to hold on to, then teach the single crochet. Once the beginner has learned to do sc and the ch 1 to turn, teaching the starting chain becomes easy.

 

Working into starting chain is one of he most difficult of crochet maneuvers. I don't kjow why we seem to feel that has to be the first lesson when we teach in person.

 

And a short fun session should be the starting point -- never longer than a half hour or even less with some children.

 

Jean Leinhauser

 

 

Jean is so right, chains are hard for kids. You chain and do the starting row, then hand it to him and show him a sc.

[Granny Square]

I would replace the varigated yarn with a solid, light color. Easier to see which loop is supposed to go where.

 

Good luck, and don't feel so bad! Nobody has failed here, this is only the first try. Not every lesson 'clicks' with everyone the first time, it doesn't mean they've failed. Edison was labeled a slow learner in school, and tried (and failed) with over 1000 designs of the light bulb before he succeeded. I don't think anyone would call him a failure!

[pasteeater]

I actually got a lot of good ideas. I will not start him with the chain and move up to an even bigger hook. He has a hard time tying his shoe...so I can understand this all. Now, he's outside playing ball with the boys next door which he has NEVER done. I keep going into my back yard and listen to what they are saying.

 

My son was talking about how we hate a football team [won't say which lol] and the older boy says "Your MOM???? Girls don't know anything about sports!!!" My boy says "Oh yeah? My mom does! She knows about a lot of things you wouldn't think she does." LOL I think that's a good thing.

[mythunderbird]

I actually got a lot of good ideas. I will not start him with the chain and move up to an even bigger hook. He has a hard time tying his shoe...so I can understand this all. Now, he's outside playing ball with the boys next door which he has NEVER done. I keep going into my back yard and listen to what they are saying.

 

My son was talking about how we hate a football team [won't say which lol] and the older boy says "Your MOM???? Girls don't know anything about sports!!!" My boy says "Oh yeah? My mom does! She knows about a lot of things you wouldn't think she does." LOL I think that's a good thing.

thats sooo cute he was sticking up for you mom:lol:lol:lol isa good thing as martha stewert would say:lol:lol:lol:lol

[pasteeater]

Thanks, it is nice to have someone to stick up for me. I asked him when he came in if I heard him right and he said yes the big boy said that. He calls the almost 9 yr old little boy, even though he's ten and smaller than said "little boy" and the 13 yr old big boy. LOL But he finally found out their names.

 

It was nice last night. It's still well over 100, 110 today, and I went outside and was watching the boys play and Tyler was being kind of bossy, not trying to be mean to them, just a little bossy. It was weird for me to see because last year and all before that he'd let everyone push him around. I think he did lots of growing up this summer. I am glad.