Bad reactions?

[Lady_of_Roses]

Let's face it. People who make unkind remarks about any gift are doing it with an intention. They are trying to discourage you from giving them similar gifts in the future. These people wouldn't receive another gift from me, store-bought or otherwise. They can spend their own time and money on themselves.

 

I grew up in a household where money was/is tight. I've always appreciated gifts, especially if they were homemade because I do understand about the love and time put into those types of gifts.

 

That being said, my family actually likes to know politely if a gift is not to the taste of the receiver. Reason being that we'll continue to make something in that style/color, be it food or an item, for the person if we don't realize it's not to their taste. If it's purchased, sometimes it can be exchanged, which is preferable to knowing it's going into the back of a closet. On ocassion it's sucked knowing someone didn't like a gift, but overall it's worked out because the future gifts were more appropriate and appreciated exponentially for the changes.

 

That all being said, if someone purposely makes tacky unkind remarks with no effort of politeness, they won't be seeing any lovingly customized gifts in the future. If I'm obligated to give them a gift, they'll be getting some generic item from the store that they won't even remember receiving 3 months later.

[Ga_Rebel]

I just started crocheting. And I am making a blanket for my niece. I do worry that they are not gonna like it. Or that its not good enough. But all I can hope for is that they know its a gift that came from the heart.

[Sylvia Lee]

On the flip side of things: I made a Homespun shawl for my 15-year-old sister just this last Christmas. I was unhappy with the final product-- it was shaped funny, and the color I had chosen for the border didn't quite match the rest as well as I thought it would-- but I didn't have enough time to fix it or to make something different. My sister loved it; she wore it around for the rest of the day after I gave it to her and kept commenting on how warm and cozy it was.

[tcsgirl]

Secretstasher said: "sometimes get embarrassed when pple rave and go all mushy over the things I have made but yes I got one negative reaction."

 

I, on the other hand, enjoy it if someone raves and gets all mushy over something I made. Oh, it doesn't have to be mushy and exaggerated, but at least something nice said about the objects I made would do me good.

 

I enjoy the swaps and probably participate in too many, but I enjoy making things and receiving things. What hurts my feelings is when my recipient simply says they got my package and thanks. No comments about whether they liked anything about it. I mean, because there was no comments given about whether they liked the items I made them, I take it that they didn't like it or perhaps it wasn't they expected. Some people are able to post pictures of what they got and I think that is a compliment when someone posts a picture. I don't expect THAT from all my recipients, 'cause I know not everyone has the capabilities. But to get a response that my stuff arrived and "thanks" is a little hurtful to me. Maybe it's just me. Perhaps I expect too much. At least I was told it arrived and was thanked, huh? Some people don't even get that much.

[salos]

I just had an amazing thing happen. I donated some things to an charity auction for a camp. I accidentally donated a doll blanket that wasn't too exciting. Truth be told, it wasn't even straight. Anyway, someone bought it at the auction for $40.00. I don't know whether to laugh or to cry.

 

Sylvia, I'm glad your sister liked the scarf.

 

Georgia, it is all about the heart. I'm so glad you post here because you have a big heart.

[fancyk]

My daughter and I set up at craft show and we are by far the largest crochet tent around we crochet almost 24-7 but we hear from all walks of life ,the younger teens , for a while they dint under it but with all the crocheted things out there when they see our stuff they cant get enough the 30s their grandma use to crochet and have some and then theres the ones that are just plain rude and say I can do that or snicker when they walk out . I tell my d just consider the sourse and forget about it . your friend was rude and if she knew you as a friend she should have considered you feelings.

[Bearsgrammy]

Just yesterday my daughter came to my house and laughed at my crocheted chicken, saying "You're not serious" and like remarks. Now the boots on the other foot as she wants some homemade dishcloths and potholders. She saw some I made for a friend and immediately wanted some. Guess what? She will be getting some..........after a while........accompanied by............a crocheted chicken! Seriously, it can be very hurtful, but some of it is jealousy. A lot of people never learned a needle art of any kind. Also, some people are just naturally stupid. Be proud in your accomplishment, and if it gets really bad like the filet cloth around the tree, go up to the person and reclaim it,just say, I noticed you really don't have much use for it, and I know someone that really likes it. That sounds harsh and unfeeling, but Hello, who was harsh and unfeeling when they received it???? Anyhow, all of us here are cheering you on. You must be a wonderful crocheter to make fillet crochet, something I never have mastered. Sometimes you just have to forgive people who are clueless.

[Mermaiden]

I can't help but wonder if the original poster's friend may been one of the types who thinks you don't care to spend any money on them, but would rather just make something and give them. Of course *I* know that it's a lot more time consuming and usually requires even more thought than running out to buy something! I'm frequently the type who would rather do something more personal like that, than buy a gift.

 

I've only received one crocheted gift (that I can recall anyway; though who knows about childhood), a certain scarf to be exact and gee, it was enough to get me interested in the craft itself. Just goes to show how differently people may respond to the same scenario.

[sfgwife]

This sounds like a friend I have. The couple and myself and my hubby have been friends FOREVER. They got prego with twins so I asked if she would like for me to make each of the babies a blanket. Of course yes cause no one in her family does this kind of thing. So I make two toddler size blankets (I just like mine to be able to carry them til they are older), send em in time for the shower and they didn't open them til the shower. Well her hubby called when she was opening them.......... he was like wow I didn't know you could make such beautiful things outta thread and yarn Nikki. His wife started crying at them. Her mother a !@#$# anyway said very loudly how could anyone make something like this I mean really it isn't even store bought. UGH! I was hurt but they parents loved it so I was ok with her mother being the way she is. Well the girls never got to use the blankets because of her mother. She kept the girls when they were babies and she refused to let "her" grandchildren to use those hiddeous things. But they sat in the rocker one one the seat and one on the back forever. I just told my friends that next baby I would not make the mistake of making them another since they had 2 that have never been used.

 

Also when I was prego with my 1st child a dear friend and her mother made him a hand embroidered quilt. Well that was his lovey til her was 3 and ALL of the stitches were worn/washed out that his father "lost" it (we were divorced) but the lady who made it told me when she saw me carry it with us out that it was supposed to be a wall hanging. I think I offended her that I didn't out it up on the wall but it was beautiful. Then when I had #2 she made me another but she made that one so large that it could only be a wall hanging. I did hang it though.

 

Things like that are things to use and keep for them when they grow up to me anyway. Nikki

[crochetgoddess]

I think before making something for someone you should always ask them if they like or want something of that nature. That way you usually won't get a bad reaction and if you do, oh well, then I would not being giving them gifts at all anymore.

[Megfoot]

I can think of three instances when the reaction was not what I expected...

 

The curse of the boyfriend sweater didn't quite get me, but I was a bit scorched. I made my now-husband a sweater, but it was a little too long and a little small around the chest. He swore that he liked it, but he has NEVER WORN IT! It's now a joke between us.

 

My sister happened to be looking over my shoulder when I was riffling through pattern books and HAD to have a pattern called "Starry Night." I had NO money at the time, so I had to buy no-dye-lot yarn for months, and it took forever. After I gave it to her, she used it for a few weeks in her dorm room, then when she moved to her apartment, she got a cat, which wrecked part of it, then she put it in a closet. Now the cat's gone but the blanket is stil in the closet!

 

Finally, I gave almost-matching chenille hats to my MIL and FIL over last Christmas. His was black with a white stripe; hers was white with a black stripe. Their reaction was muted, but they are so NOT emotional people, so I just chalked it up to being "them." Then they came to visit in February, and she was wearing hers. Later during their visit, they asked me if I had seen hers, and they got into a small squabble over who had had it last! I guess he was wearing it, misplaced it or dropped it somewhere, and blamed it on her! I offered to make a new one if they couldn't find it, but I haven't heard anything as of yet. Maybe they're too embarrassed to say anything. Guess they liked the hats better than I realized.

[Nan-Nan]

When broomstick lace became popular in the '70s, I made the prettiest little jacket, cap & booties set for a young lady who was expecting her first baby. I was also hosting her shower. Anyway, when she opened that gift, she looked at me & said "did you make this?". When I said yes, she just glared. Everyone else at the shower thought it was adorable but I heard her later telling somone that I was too cheap to even buy her a present. Needless to say she got no more gifts from me. There are enough folks who want my work, that I don't have enough time to do it all. Don't waste your time worrying about those who don't appreciate your time & effort.