seperation pains

[beth eathorne]

i have been asked by a co worker to make her new grandson a baby blanket. it is her first and the mother is young. i am making it out of red heart baby soft (nothing expensive, and a simple pattern) and about 1/3 finished. from out of nowhere last nite i started to get seperation pains about this silly blanket, thinking to myself "i dont want to give this to the grandmother, i dont think the mother will take care of it". the co worker/grandmother is paying me to make it and a very nice person but it is driving me nuts. i have never had this problem with my crocheting before, i dont usually do commision work. people around here are too cheap to pay for my efforts. i give most everything as gifts from the heart and enjoy doing it. of course i will finish it and let her take it but what will i do? anyone else ever have this problem??? or am i just nuts like my husband says about this?

[kel]

Actually, I have...recently I made a market tote for a class that I'm doing. The yarn shop owner gave me the yarn to make the sample tote so rightfully it is hers to display in the shop and I have come to terms with that, but it wasn't easy! I don't know why, its nothing super fabulous and not like I can't make another in colors I prefer...but still.

Right there with you sister!

[Arlinka]

Yes, I have the same feelings giving away certain items. It may sound silly, but sometimes I feel a special "bond" with one of my projects. I may not need it, like a baby blanket, but I feel I MUST keep it for some strange reason.

My hubby also thinks me nuts, but I tell him: "Those that don't create don't understand"

[Elle]

This thread is so appropriate for me right now! I had made a table topper for my friend for Christmas, and as usual, I was running WAY past Christmas but she works here with me and knows what a hectic work schedule we both have, so whenever I get it finished is OK with her. She just loves crocheted stuff because she just can't grasp how to do it but thinks it's beautiful.

 

Anyway, as I said, I made her a table topper, but I ran out of the thread I was using and went into my stash and grabbed what I THOUGHT was more of the same. The color looked identical, it was ecru. Anyhoo, I finished it and then noticed that there was a HUGE difference in the colors, so I thought to myself "I can save this, I'll just tea dye it and make it look antique-y!" Well, I tea dyed it and the problem got worse, because apparently the thread I started it with that I ran out of was cotton, and the thread that I thought was a good match that turned out to be a HORRIBLE match was rayon or some darn thing, and the tea didn't stain it to the same depth of color, so I scrapped the project and was left at square one. It was now March 15 and Operation Dinah's Christmas Gift was back to the planning stage.

 

I know her favorite color is blue (all shades), so I decided to make her a Kaleidoscope afghan in all different shades of blue. I made one square. I made a second square and then, just for the heck of it, I decided to see how it would look if I just kept going. The hexagon is now four feet across and it is ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS in all different shades of blues (and I threw in a couple of teals and other blue/greens). It's the first thing I've ever made that I basically made up by myself without a pattern that involved any kind of intricate stitching (this one has back post DC, you have to see it to get the full effect), but at this point I HATE the thought of giving it to her because it's so gorgeous!!! But I HAVE to, because I owe the woman a Christmas gift! I'll part with it, but not without a LOT of sorrow, because this is probably the prettiest afghan I've ever made! I will post a pic in the show and tell section when it's all finished before I give it to her. I'm just glad I'm not the only one who thinks like this!

[Gran]

There is a lot to this subject. Here are a few of my thoughts this morning.

 

I think it's because we put so much of ourselves in the things we make. When this happens with a project, I have a little talk with myself. Here's an example:

 

The thing is a symbol. The source of the love, creativity, work, is something I can turn to. It's just there, always. It's a given. Anyone can turn to it and give form to beauty, if they choose to. (And many people choose to not do this for themselves.)

 

I want the other person to recognize the care, love, effort, workmanship, time, expense, etc., in the symbol.

 

It never feels right to me, to give something I've put a lot into, to someone who does not appreciate what it takes to give form to beauty and give love to someone through that form.

 

Beauty is nourishing, and making things that take so many hours of care, planning, and work, are full of that nourishment.

 

It's perfectly right to be wise in choosing to whom I give so much of myself.

 

There may be those who can make things, and just pass them out, or pass them on, regardless. People have such different values. Some like to make many, many things and send them on to those they don't know. Others need to know the person, and giving the gift is something very special, and perhaps, private.

 

I'm one of those to whom it's important to be wise about giving of ourselves, and why we give.

 

Wishing you all happy creating and giving! :compute:sun

[Twinsmom]

Oh definitely. Sometimes I keep something and start another one for the gift if I have time. I've found it easier to give projects away if I keep a record of them. So I use my other hobby--scrapbooking--for that. I have a crochet scrapbook with a photo of each item I give away. It's fun and makes it easier.

[Elvee]

It may also help to focus on the recipient of the gift who is the BABY and think how much joy this lovely snugly baby blanket will give to the child. I think when you work on this your thoughts should be towards that end and maybe you will feel better.

 

Think of it as a job--which it is--and go from there. You can always make another one. I guess that is my mind set as God has given me this gift I have never regretted any gift I have given. I could always make another.

 

Now, what I have pulled my hair out over are people who don't even acknowledge they received a gift I spent hours and hours to make. But, the afghans were for the babies and not the moms.

 

Just my thoughts, I hope they help.

 

[TX CrochetLover]

Beth, I know how you feel. We give a lot of ourselves when we crochet an item for someone else. If normally you make to give,it may be that because it is a commision you don't have the same feelings about the project. Elvee is right, it is for the baby. The mother may not care one way or another for the time it takes to make, but I bet she will use it again and again. In the end, the baby has a snuggy.

[beth eathorne]

thanks all for your thoughts, i am feeling somewhat better about this and i am sure by the time i am finished i will be proud and happy that the baby will be wrapped in my love.

[mva5493]

Yes sometimes I do have a hard time parting with something I am really pleased with. But I take lots of pictures of the item, and most of the time when I gift something it is within my family so I still see the item at times. The only ones I never get a chance to see again are the ones I donate to project linus, and that is such a good cause I that I don't have trouble giving those away. In my mind all of my projects are still my creations (not my patterns, I haven't gotten that far yet) and each one is special to me in some way.