I'm feeling so sad for my son.....

[~Kel~]

to you and your son

[Titus2woman]

This makes me incredibly sad. So sorry y'all are going through this! (((((HUGS))))) sandi

[MaryPat]

My 21 yo insisted she had to get married. Her father and I (divorced for over 19 years at the time) wouldn't pay for a big wedding unless she and her fiance agreed to sit down with professionals to discuss marriage, budgeting, and what it means. We offered to pay for an Engagement Encounter weekend. They declined, so we only paid for a wedding cake (from the supermarket), a dinner after the courthouse ceremony and her new dress. I wore an old pants suit; the other mother wore shorts and a halter top with her ta-tas falling out!

 

At any rate, they had to have a child right away. No talking sense to them. Within a short time they came to me for rent. I would only pay if they met me every Sunday to turn over their money for me to manage for 6 months. Then they got violent.

 

So a lot of unhappy things happened and who knows who is to blame. My daughter's in an institution with a brain injury. The father regained custody of their beautiful daughter after the restraining order ended.

 

Me? I sit sometimes and just cry.

[texasredhead]

My 21 yo insisted she had to get married. Her father and I (divorced for over 19 years at the time) wouldn't pay for a big wedding unless she and her fiance agreed to sit down with professionals to discuss marriage, budgeting, and what it means. We offered to pay for an Engagement Encounter weekend. They declined, so we only paid for a wedding cake (from the supermarket), a dinner after the courthouse ceremony and her new dress. I wore an old pants suit; the other mother wore shorts and a halter top with her ta-tas falling out!

 

At any rate, they had to have a child right away. No talking sense to them. Within a short time they came to me for rent. I would only pay if they met me every Sunday to turn over their money for me to manage for 6 months. Then they got violent.

 

So a lot of unhappy things happened and who knows who is to blame. My daughter's in an institution with a brain injury. The father regained custody of their beautiful daughter after the restraining order ended.

 

Me? I sit sometimes and just cry.

 

That is so incredibly sad! Us moms want the best for our children and when things like this happen we have no way to help. That's how I feel...just unable to help the situation and make it better.

[alibra]

My mother used to say, "Things happen for a reason" I believe that with my whole heart...it could be that there is someone better out there for him. He is blessed to have a mother/family who care about him, you will see him through this most difficult time...my prayers are with him and your family.

[01buckler15]

MaryPat,

What a sad story. My heart goes out to you.

[LittleJadeFrog]

I also haven't been through this, but I think just being there for him and listening to him...don't take sides, she might come back and he might take her back and if that happens and you have "bashed her" it could come back and be a problem

I totally agree with the bashing thing. I am with a younger man(7 years). My mom hated that fact and promised me that one day he wold leave me for a younger woman. She kind of warmed up to the fact that we were together after lots of "words" and lots of "no words". Soon after we split up ~ for no other reason but we weren't sure if the relationship was what we wanted. I am divorced w/ 2 kids and this is his 1st "real" relationship. So opened the floodgates ~ on and on she went about how she told me so and that he was a loser and I could do better...yada yada yada. MAN! It broke my heart. She never once had a supportive word to say! The relationship between us was strained and I prayed that the comversation wouldn't come up when we visited. A few months arfter the separation we realized that we are all we have ever wanted. We took another month or 2 to work things out before bringing my kids back into it. Because of the way my mom reacted when we broke up I didn't tell her about us getting back together ~ even had my kids keep the secret of him moving back in. When she finally found out (kids have a hard time keeping secrets) ~ more words and no words. Long story...be supportive to him, don't bash her. It will strain your relationship, which is counterproductive and not what he needs at this difficult time in his life. :hugs to you all.

[craftybutterfly]

How timely.

 

My son's fiance broke it off with him last night. While part of me is realeaved (he's only 18, and she's only 19), the othe part of me is heart broken because of the pain it's causing my son. He's active duty and getting ready to attend classes in the spring at KSU, she's here and currently working on her liscense to do manicures and pedicures. Honestly, my son could not have done better. and I guess that's why his dad and i didn't make a bigger stink about it with them being so young. She's beautiful, trustworthy, well grounded, level headed, faithful church member and loves the Lord, very mature for her age. Last night she told him on the phone that she just "wasn't sure anymore". Said she wanted to grow up some more and get her life together first. like I said, part of me is shouting "Halalulah!" because they ARE too young, and have so much living to do before even thinking about settling down to the responsibility of a marriage and a home. But the mom in me wants to be there and hug my son because he's hurting. And I can't do that because I'm in mississippi, and he's in Kansas. Alone.

[bjc1050]

Just be thankful that there isn't a custody battle or criminal charges pending. That's our son's situation after 2 years of marriage. The courts are of little help. The guardian ad litem doesn't seem to be looking out for the best interests of our granddaughter...just his own ego since our son has had a little success representing himself in family court although he still only has visiting privileges after 5 years of fighting for shared custody. Criminal court is another matter. They are trying to take away his public defender who seems to actually be doing his job.

 

Hope all ends well for your son.

[FelixLake]

I'm so sorry for your son. I kind of know what you are going through. My son was to be married in just a couple of weeks. The Bride called it off just 5 weeks before the wedding. Telling family was hard, but they all understood. We had already had the bridal shower, so I told our family and friends that if they didn't receive their gift back, let me know and I'd reimburse them. No one has asked me to do that even though no gifts have been returned.

You son will get over this and something better will come along for him.

[Gram]

My step-daughter left her husband after 9 years of marriage and 3 kids! She said she should have never married, she was too young (21 when she got married), was afraid not to marry him, he as abusive, and so on, and so on and so on..... Come to find out that was someone else in the picture. It's better for your son that this happened before any children came into the relationship, because now there are 3 children (8, 7, & 5) in our family suffering.

 

We have had to turn this over to God, because we knew there is absolutely nothing we could do. Things happen in life to teach us and this will be a learning experience for all involved.

 

A prayer just went up for your family.

[JouJou]

I am very sorry to hear about this... A few years ago when I was 18, I was engaged to man that was 10 years older than me. We were together for 2 years. About 6 months before we broke up, we were fighting a lot and things were getting out of hand. So, I moved out. He lived in Seattle and I'm from Portland, Oregon, so I went back to Oregon and I had a lot of finances and emotions to deal with. Later on, I found out about infidelity on his part, and I was devastated... I thought the world of that man and I was faithful to him and did anything for him, but I got through it and now I am 22, and I am doing a lot better. It's been 2 1/2 years since my ex and I broke up and when it happened I was a total mess, I didn't know what to do, but I trusted in the Lord that he would provide for me and help me work things out, and the Lord did just that. I don't know if you believe in God or not, but just have faith in whatever you believe that everything will be okay and things happen for a reason and it might turn out to be a blessing in disguise.

 

-Stephanie