Did I do the right thing? (Long)

[Lefthook]

I would like to crochet things for Christmas and birthdays for my neighbors, a married couple with no children. I have no kids either, so we get along. Although I've known them at least 15 years and spend time at their house I have no idea what colors or styles they like, or things they want or need (Oddly enough, we consider ourselves pretty good friends. We just get along really well.) Anyway, she and I talked, and I said the only thing I know for sure is that she hates pink and things that are heart shaped. I told her I don't want to pay for materials, and spend weeks or months making something she puts away and never looks at again. I made a list of lists (Ravelry and CrochetPatternCentral) where she could go, look at pictures, and choose what she wanted, the texture, and the color. I made sure I have veto power and I also specified I'll pay for the yarn it's a gift for her or him, but not if it's a thing she's getting for herself. She agreed to all that. (I trust her to remember and not to take advantage, and I also know if we disagree we'll talk about it.) I felt good about it all when I told her all that and I still do, but now I'm wondering: has anyone here done anything like this? Is it going to come back to bite me? Sorry this turned out really long. ?

[magiccrochetfan]

basically it sounds like you told her you'd like to make something for them and gave her some places to look for ideas, but that you would tell her if a certain thing wouldn't be workable. Sounds like you had a nice conversation about it and now you might be overthinking it a little.

 

But I don't understand this part "I also specified I'll pay for the yarn it's a gift for her or him, but not if it's a thing she's getting for herself. " Does that mean you only want to make something they both will use as opposed to something she alone would use?

[happy stitcher]

I also didn't quite understand that quote, but I think it sounds like a fine arrangement.

 

I've given books to somebody before and told her to flag the patterns she liked - then we sat down and talked about the patterns and chose one together. I think that if you have a good relationship like that, it can make it easier to choose something you know will be appreciated.

[RoseRed]

If you want to make them something go for it. Sometimes we'll make offers in the moment and regret or resent the work that it turns into. One of the reasons I stopped making offers and just surprise people instead. Part of that is also really knowing the person that I'm making for.

[orchid]

for someone to recieve your creation,they should be grateful.of you offered me that arrangement,I would hug you and tell you to follow your heart as I trust you to create.

I dont let anyone tell me how to create,as the artist that is my choice.

[RoseRed]

I have 1 SIL who stuck her ghan in the attic. I have another who has hers on the back of her couch, won't even let her BF wrap up in it because it's HERS! She just asked for a 'granny square' afghan.

 

Guess who's getting one for Christmas and who's never getting another one.

 

I totally understand showing people their choices - people that don't crochet have no idea what's out there.

[Lynn]

I totally agree! I love to make things for people but I also want the things I make to be appreciated! If someone (including family) asks me to make something for them I always have them look at patterns so I make just what they want. My granddaughter asked me to make her a baby blanket for a shower so she came over to look through my books. What she picked out was not what I would have picked out but..... it was her choice. The pattern she did pick out didn't work up at all the way it was shown so after a few rows I told her and she said to just pick another. I picked patterns I thought she would like and took a pic of them and sent them to her. She picked out the yarn colors. Just finished it and its beautiful! If the person has a choice in what you are making and the colors they will be more likely to appreciate all the work you pu into it. Every time I go to my son's house I NEVER see any of the afghans I made her. Come to find out its because she has them hidden in her bedroom so the kids don't get them! lol

[RoseRed]

I need to chat with SIL so I can find out exactly what 'granny sq ghan' means to her. There's so many things that you can do with a granny square. I would hate for her to be disappointed in it. She'll love it regardless but I love to WOW people I gift by making it custom to them.