Comfortghan issue - how to handle?

[shelain22]

Hmmm, you girls filled this thread up fast! Dont know if theres anything for me to say.....yea right! LOL

 

I would definitelly be hurt about the comfortghan being given away. I do understand the points about it being great that it is put to good use, but that would be like you giveing money to the abused children charity, and them writing you to say they thaught the save the whales foundation needed it more so they gave your money to them.(am I stretching there?)But, keep this in mind, she may not have intentionally posted at an odd time of the day, it was just when the need was there for her friends family. I would have to say something but I would cool down first. Get with the others who helped and make sure that whatever is done will make everyone feel beter about it.

 

Leanne, I feel your pain. My mawmaw and I (I was adopted by my grandparents) were soooo close, so when I got married and my MIL seemed to hate me for no reason, I was blown away! The family tried to smoothe it over telling me that is just the way that she is, she would hat any one who married her baby (her youngest son), but I shouldent be miserable for that! I made her an afghan for x-mas, the first one I have ever made, and she was like, "oh, thats cute, on to the next gift...) I was hurt when a few weeks later at her house I saw it at the botom of her closet in the floor with old clothes! I wanted to pick it uyp and run! You can only do so much, and them you keep you keep your distance!

[theworm]

Ouch. I think many people here said what I was thinking. I would have been hurt also, but I would try to put a positive spin on it. I don't know if it's right or mature, but I tend to handle things like this with a bit of bitch mixed in with kindness.

I probably would say something like, " I'm so sorry for your friend's loss! I hope that all the love and caring that went into making this afghan for you is is a comfort to her in her loss as well."

 

It may not be the best way of handling it, but it is a semi-subtle way of being supportive and dissapointed at the same time.

[smyz64]

I just read this from Ms. Manners in a magazine, an item can be re-gifted, UNLESS it's handmade, or an heirloom. And it should not be re-gifted in the same circle, where the original person could hear about and be hurt by it. By all means, I would give her a nice little piece of my mind, anyone who had a problem with this should definitely say something.

[eurolyons]

Hmmm, you girls filled this thread up fast! Dont know if theres anything for me to say.....yea right! LOL

 

I would definitelly be hurt about the comfortghan being given away. I do understand the points about it being great that it is put to good use, but that would be like you giveing money to the abused children charity, and them writing you to say they thaught the save the whales foundation needed it more so they gave your money to them.(am I stretching there?)But, keep this in mind, she may not have intentionally posted at an odd time of the day, it was just when the need was there for her friends family. I would have to say something but I would cool down first. Get with the others who helped and make sure that whatever is done will make everyone feel beter about it.

 

Leanne, I feel your pain. My mawmaw and I (I was adopted by my grandparents) were soooo close, so when I got married and my MIL seemed to hate me for no reason, I was blown away! The family tried to smoothe it over telling me that is just the way that she is, she would hat any one who married her baby (her youngest son), but I shouldent be miserable for that! I made her an afghan for x-mas, the first one I have ever made, and she was like, "oh, thats cute, on to the next gift...) I was hurt when a few weeks later at her house I saw it at the botom of her closet in the floor with old clothes! I wanted to pick it uyp and run! You can only do so much, and them you keep you keep your distance!

 

Shelain...I was 10 when I was adopted by my grandparents...and although I have issues with my grandmother and all, we've never said, "I'm never gonna talk to you, I disown you, you are nothing to me..." My mom (grandma's daughter) is the one that basically did that (and not just because she gave me up for adoption...) but again...it's a learning experience. If my grandmother and I have gone long periods without talking, it's not because of a fight...just that we've gone our separate ways in life...but we always find our way back to each other. Always.

 

You know I hadn't quite thought of your example...it might be a stretch, but still...puts things into a bit of perspective...

 

And I'm glad that someone posted about Miss Manners...she has a really good point...I still stand by the fact that if the one lady had just thought for a moment about how she posted what she had done, I think people would have found a way to accept it better...

[eurolyons]

Also Shelain, I don't know what I would do if I had an MIL be like that to me...I've been very fortunate that my ex MIL and my DH's mother both like me. We may never be super close, but as long as she's happy to see me when we come to visit each year, great...that's all I ask...My ex MIL who passed away this last May was wonderful on many levels. We had only one really bad situation and that was unfortunate because the situation was instigated by my ex...fortunately we made up before ex and I split...and I was really sad when she died...

 

Anyway...Faith, any update on this situation?