Assuage my guilt about an inherited project?

[Dejhia]

I don't think you are crazy or a bad daughter. Family guilt can be a strong force. I think that if you really don't like it, you shouldn't be forced into makring it. I do like your idea of turning it into something for your daughter to use even if it's just a blanket for her dolls. Afterall, when that afgan was thought up, your daughter wasn't around. I am sure that your grandma would love to think that the project went on to another generation.

[clocke]

Hey there Elissa-

I hope you realize that inspite of what your mother says, this unfinished afghan isn't your UFO, it's your grandma's. As such, there is no problem with stashing the bags in the attic, or up the chimney (as long as you aren't using it), or in some dark corner, until you figure out what you want to do with it, and are comfortable with that decision.

And I realize that may be easier said than done.

Best of luck to you. & Feel free to ignore these $0.02 if they aren't to your liking.

[pragmatica]

Thanks so much to everyone for your very, very thoughtful answers. I really appreciate the time you each took and your own perspectives on the family thing. It's taken me weeks to even look at this thread again because it's so fraught with issues for me.

 

I think that eventually, I will frame and share a square for each of my three brothers -- she was their grandmother too, and none of them have anything that she made, and they really knew her much better than I did. (They're all much older than I am, so they knew her when she was well and could really be part of their lives, as opposed to me, who only spent time with her in her incredibly cranky and disorganized decline; she must have started this when I was a toddler.) I'm sure that they would value anything she'd hand-made, especially in a form that can be displayed on a wall instead of on a bed or couch. I can't recall whose idea this was, but thank you.

 

Regarding what to do with the remainder of the squares and the yarn. OK, I'm successfully guilted out of the doll blanket (hey, it was an idea). I definitely appreciate the idea of using the existing squares as the main element in an afghan that's made more subtle by using them as a motif instead of the only repeated element. Whether I use the remainder of her yarn or modern yarn of similar color but more pleasant quality depends on what's going on at the time.

 

If we were a different family, making the squares into a lapghan for my mother would be a great idea, but it won't work for us. This is one of the great ironies of this whole thing. My mother is a really brilliant knitter who is fortunate to have the means to work with really great fibers; for example, the cheapest stuff she ever works with is Debbie Bliss, so she'd never really use something out of this material. And, her decor is pretty sophisticated and she's quite picky about it -- there's not a room in her house where this would go. And, if I gave her a lapghan of any sort, unless it were a luxuriously fine-gauge cashmere throw, she'd probably have a spazz attack about my giving her an old-lady gift. And she does know how to crochet, so one of the many subtexts about this afghan is that if push comes to shove, I bet she feels pretty close to the same way about it that I do but even more conflicted.

 

But people of Crochetville, bear witness to me this day: I, pragmatica, being of sound mind and body, solemnly swear that I will not pass this UFO on to my now-five-year-old daughter. Let the cycle stop here!

 

Anyway, it'll probably take me another year or two to see what's in the bag but I'll be a lot less afraid of it this time.

 

Best,

Elissa

[clocke]

Bravo Pragmatica!!!

[mbcabbie]

I can honestly say that I have a baby blanket that my aunt made for me. It's in colors that I absolutely hate. BUT... I love it for what it is. In fact, I absolutely TREASURE it for what it is. My Aunt made it for ME. It is mine, no matter what color it is.

 

You have to imagine that certain colors are locked into the time warp from which they originated. (In my case, late 60's) so it dates you, AND your loved one, but that is part of the charm of the piece. A keepsake is a keepsake.