Rejected before I begin?

[shana0923]

Ok, not to be rude but my opinion is that we shouldn't do nice things for people because they will appreciate, use, love, brag about....etc. We should do nice things for people because it is the "right" thing to do. I mean the child may love it when it is older, regardless of what the parent thinks. Just my 2 cents from my christian beliefs. But I do understand how hard it would be to think somebody didnt appreciate something you worked so hard on. But go with your heart on it. Whatever you feel you shold do. Many hugs to you.

[Sylviaf]

I wouldn't waste my effort on them. You can probably buy a nice gift for the same amount of money, they would like it better and you wouldn't spend the time on people who won't appreciate it.

[emeraldjayne62]

I also would ask the wife because men have no clue,I would love to have one when I was due with my little girl but I didn't get one so Please ask her

[Cherri]

Well, I'll probably get yelled at for this but I'd ask my husband what he'd like me to do. It's HIS friend. If he'd like me to make something for his friend's baby, I'd do it for my husband, not his friend. If he doesn't think it would be appreciated, or doesn't care one way or another, I wouldn't do it.

 

Disclaimer: No I'm not someone who asks her husband before doing things.

I just think in this instance, since it's his friend, I'd let him decide.

[Ladykats]

Cherri,

I couldn't agree with you more. And not for nothing, but I refer to my husband a lot on things as I value his opinion. He has always given me an unbiased answer to whatever I ask.

[birdlady1]

Oh, dear. I think I've answered my own question. I think I'll just make babyghans for people who'd appreciate them

 

I wouldn't buy them anything either. Ungrateful people, that's all they seem to be......

[Miss Crochet]

Ok, not to be rude but my opinion is that we shouldn't do nice things for people because they will appreciate, use, love, brag about....etc. We should do nice things for people because it is the "right" thing to do. I mean the child may love it when it is older, regardless of what the parent thinks. Just my 2 cents from my christian beliefs. But I do understand how hard it would be to think somebody didnt appreciate something you worked so hard on. But go with your heart on it. Whatever you feel you shold do. Many hugs to you.

 

Thanks for the hugs (always love a hug!) and hugs back The thing is, my (Christian) beliefs would sooner have me crochet a blanket for a mother who needs a blanket, as opposed to someone who might simply give the blanket away or put it in the unwanted clothes container! I wouldn't crochet a blanket for the glory of giving it, but as a token gesture of friendship, appreciation and welcome for the new arrival. But if that gesture is not the appropriate one to make for this couple, I'd sooner buy them a gift and donate a babyghan in their newborn's name to a less fortunate baby somewhere else.

 

I wouldn't waste my effort on them. You can probably buy a nice gift for the same amount of money, they would like it better and you wouldn't spend the time on people who won't appreciate it.

 

Any present you give a baby is chosen with care, and care and deliberation are the true gift anyway, regardless of whether it's handmade or not, right?

 

II would love to have one when I was due with my little girl but I didn't get one

 

I'm so sorry to hear that!

 

Well, I'll probably get yelled at for this

 

CHERRI!!! Haha!

 

but I'd ask my husband what he'd like me to do. It's HIS friend. If he'd like me to make something for his friend's baby, I'd do it for my husband, not his friend. If he doesn't think it would be appreciated, or doesn't care one way or another, I wouldn't do it.

 

Well, it's kind of a strange situation because my husband is so supportive of my crocheting, even though it has provoked a lot of less-than-polite comments (of the "Are you a granny or what?" kind) from our friends and acquaintances over the years So I don't want to put him in an embarrassing position where he has to struggle not to hurt my feelings - do you understand what I mean?

 

Anyway, I have a plan of action:

 

1. I have to make a few babyghans anyway, including a couple of plainer ones.
   
2. Then I'll get DH to throw his eye over them and give me an opinion. If he thinks there is none there that they'd appreciate, I'll get them a little onesie or some baby t-shirts or whatnot (who doesn't love buying baby clothes? Any excuse!)
   
3. If we decide that a babyghan won't be appreciated, I'll send said babyghan to the USA with a little card on it saying "from Baby ..."
   
4. Ta-da!! Hopefully everyone wins!
   

[grannyzkraftz]

i actually didnt tell you what i thought as soon as i read your post when i did post i had well thought about it and tried to be on the "nice" side but it sounds like they dont deserve it i made a little afghan for our great neice after her birth but DH told me they would never use it so it is still in the closet ive never said a word about it in your case i wouldnt make it id take a pic of the pattern you were using and id somehow make sure they see what they could have had and id make a statement to go along with that with a small *smile* of course heheheheheheeh as i said they have no clue how much love goes into these things we all make ive always said id rather live in a one room shack as long as its full of love than to live in a mansion that was full of nothing but money you must let us know how this goes good luck and chin up friend there are very few like them in the world

[shana0923]

Thanks for the hugs (always love a hug!) and hugs back The thing is, my (Christian) beliefs would sooner have me crochet a blanket for a mother who needs a blanket, as opposed to someone who might simply give the blanket away or put it in the unwanted clothes container! I wouldn't crochet a blanket for the glory of giving it, but as a token gesture of friendship, appreciation and welcome for the new arrival. But if that gesture is not the appropriate one to make for this couple, I'd sooner buy them a gift and donate a babyghan in their newborn's name to a less fortunate baby somewhere else.

 

 

 

Any present you give a baby is chosen with care, and care and deliberation are the true gift anyway, regardless of whether it's handmade or not, right?

 

I hope you didn't think I was meaning you wanted the glory for making one and giving it to them, I was just saying that if you wanted to make them one for the baby you should. You may be surprised and they may really like it but I do like your idea of making one and donating it to a child in need in the baby's name. i wouldn't want to make one and them just get rid of it either. you could buy them something then put a pic and a card with the one you made and tell them it was donated in their baby's name. Don't think I was meaning anything negative to you!!!

[Miss Crochet]

Don't think I was meaning anything negative to you!!!

 

Nooooo!!! Not at all! I like to hear other people's views and perspectives and interpretations! It helps me to decide what to do because I get to see how many different ways there is to look at it! Besides, I know crocheters just can't be nasty - it's just not in our nature

 

So more hugs to you:

[Elle]

It could be that he was just reacting to the pattern itself that you showed him, and not to the whole hand-crocheted blanket idea. There are some patterns for baby blankets that are just so elegant and beautiful, I don't know how anyone could not love them!

 

People also have to realize that not everyone has an endless supply of money for buying gifts for people, and that it would be perfectly within someone's budget to purchase the yarn to crochet a baby blanket, but not shell out the (sometimes close to) $100 that it costs to buy a similar blanket.

 

If it was me, I would rather receive a handmade baby blanket than one of those thin little receiving blankets, and for the money it would cost to buy the receiving blanket, the yarn for a really nice crocheted baby blanket could be purchased.

[yarnjeannie]

I was "tongue-in-cheek" with my remark regarding the "forgotten" price tag, but I know how much I enjoy making gifts for people and how hurtful it is when they aren't used or appreciated. I don't give just to make myself feel better, but it's just human nature to want a lovingly-made gift to be something wanted and appreciated. I just want the recipients to be happy.

 

On the other hand, isn't it best to match the gift with the recipient? In this case, the parents. If handmade isn't their thing, then why give them something they won't like?

[Elle]

I've been thinking about this situation, and I had a whole 'nuther thought come to me about it. How long is it going to be until the baby is born? If there is a way you can get the mother-to-be over to your house, you could, without giving away your intentions, get HER take on the whole handmade gift thing. Make sure you are crocheting when they are there, and ask her opinion about it. Tell her that you are making a whatever for another friend of the family who is expecting and see what her reaction is. If her reaction is positive, then I would go with something handmade for her baby.

 

The pattern that you were working on when you got the negative reaction from the woman's husband is one of those things that is, IMO, very era-specific. It is definitely something that evokes memories of the "Crazy Daisy" motif that was so popular in the 60s, and while people who loved the 60s or who were maybe not around yet back then but who love the retro stuff from that decade might love that pattern, that's not to say that everyone WOULD. Don't totally discount the idea of making something for their baby until you can deduce whether the negative reaction was simply to the motif itself or to the fact that it was handmade. You might be jumping the gun and worrying for nothing. It's worth a bit of detective work to find out, anyway.

[texasredhead]

Well, he may have turned up his nose because he only saw a square and couldn't visualize the rest. Some men just aren't good with that. I think a pretty lacy one piece afghan would be nice for a couple that likes things with a fancy label. Put yours on it. You might have to see how his wife feels about hand made items. You might get a better idea from her. I have made a few really nice baby afghans for close friends or their kids and not ever seen them used. They use those cheap blankets from Walmart. So, I would find out from the lady before I took the time to make an afghan for someone who wouldn't appreciate it.

[LizaKaye]

My son and his wife don't like hand-made items. They are ok with the blankets, but I've been asked not to make anything else except blankets for their baby girl, (my granddaughter). I have made a couple of adorable sweaters that they have accepted, but they realize that sweaters are normally a "yarn" product-whether home made or purchased, I made some booties that they rolled their eyes at, and I doubt they were ever on her.

It hurt my feelings for a long time, and I still long to make something frilly and beautiful for her.

Like you said, putting all that time and effort into something you want it to be appreciated, so I learned after many :rolleyes I make only things for people that I know will appreciate them.

[calliope1779]

I like your plan. I didn't really know what kind of opinion to offer here. I've made afghans for people that didn't appreciate them (i.e. my MOM even..) and it does hurt my feelings. I don't understand people who make the "granny"-type comments - crochet and knitting are both extremely popular with the young crowd - I'm 23 and have been crocheting since I was 9. But, I love to make babyghans for anybody that has a baby regardless and in my opinion you can never have too many blankets when you have a baby!! I'm sure the wife will love it, and kudos to you for being so thoughtful in the first place!

[mikitta]

My mother in law made a couple babyghans for my kids when I was pregnant. Those blankets are now in treasure boxes for when they have kids. My grandmother - it was like pulling teeth to get her to make ANYthing for me, though she was always crocheting. I'm not sure why. I would have loved an afghan from her when I was a child.

 

With all that said, my sister would turn up her nose at anything crocheted. I made a beautiful filet piece for her wedding, got it all blocked and framed and then let it sit, because she says she dosn't like crochet. She's a knitter, and kind of a snob about HER craft. (I do both - love both).

 

Is it possible that this couple would love a knitted item and maybe you can trade a beautiful crocheted item for a knitted one of the same type?

 

I would only do that if the people were that important to me though - other wise, to Walmart for onesies, a pacifier and a baby bath towel.

 

Though I love the idea of donating a 'ghan in the baby's name to a child less fortunate. That is such a beautiful idea!

 

God Bless,

mik

[Solwyn]

I'll give my two cents here, too. Why not, eh?

 

I would probably ask my husband what he wanted to do, if it was primarily his friend. I know that given what this man's response to your work was, making funny grunting noises, if this was my husband's friend, he'd be be pretty quick to tell me to put down my hook - LOL - and he'd give him a gift card for some uber snippity baby "outfitters" store:lol

 

However, knowing me, I would make something anyway, because this about the baby, not the parents. The parents need to be reminded of this sometimes:hook. I would put a nice tag on it that reads something like "Artisan made for Baby Smith from the finest hand-spun-peruvian-unicorn-merino blended fibres" ......or something like that. Of course, considering that it's future owner will probably barf up milk on it, I wouldn't actually make it with the chi-chi unicorn yarn...but I would find a way to make something like blended cotton sound uptown.

 

Some friends of ours had their first baby a few years ago. The wife was like your husband's friend - very chi-chi and wanting nothing to do with anything that she felt was too "rustic". I got a kick out of this because my husband, his friend, and his friend's wife were all from the same backwoods tiny town!!!! I made a blanket anyway, out of lavender and cream boucle yarns, double stranded, in a ripple pattern. I called it a "pram blanket" instead of afghan or anything that sounded like it might have come from her mother's living room. She loved it!!! In fact, she put it in a shadow box and framed it on her living room wall when their baby outgrew the pram:yay

[flyinghigh]

If the wife is as you say she is... why bother buying her anything at all? I doubt you wanna spend the sort of money on them as they might expect... and it's possible that they'll reject anything you might buy if they don't think it's up to their standards. Not trying to be mean at all.. but I know people like that, and it's really irritating.

 

And what's more.. what the heck did he think you were doing? I can't believe he'd watch you and wonder what you're doing.. then totally reject it. Some people are so horrible.

[Beverooni]

I think that was very rude of him. I'd just send them a congratulatory card when the baby is born. I wouldn't bother to make it anyway because it would never get used. Who knows where it would end up. Sorry, I have been burned when I made handmade gifts and I don't give them unless I know the person is going to appreciate them.

[grrlsmom]

Remember, he's a GUY. He may have reacted that way because he was thinking about changing diapers or something!

[Titus2woman]

I'm just sorry this happened at all. (((((HUGS))))) sandi

[croschet03]

Some ppl just don't know the time and love that goes into creating an item.

I would ask my husband too. He has a pretty good sense of character and he would tell me whether to waste my time or not. Hubby knows the time and love that goes into these items.

Val

[Afghaniac]

I can understand your reaction; however, I wouldn't be too quick to interpret that grunt. I have a close friend who is German, and she is always surprised when I have assumed from her reaction that she didn't like something I've made -- usually a cake or other food item. She just isn't very generous with the compliments and hates empty flattery. Anyway, men -- of any nationality -- often aren't into baby blankets and the like. If I were you, and if they are good friends, I would check out the colors and styles they seem to like for their baby and go ahead and make a blanket for them that might complement their nursery. And if you enjoy crocheting the afghan and they don't like it -- the heck with 'em! You're the better person for it.

[specialK]

Okay, I just posted this big rant on the subject, but in the time I spent writing it my sign-in expired:angry. The jist of that is this, Don't waste your time and your talent on someone who is too snobbish to appricate the true value of your gift.

Karla