How would other crocheters have reacted?

[amdm]

Much as I appreciate the wonderful patterns available, I often use only the stitch or only a specific element to make something completely different. Most of my bags and almost all my garments fall into this category, and a lot of work and trial-and-error goes into making them.

Recently, two people, neither of whom are at all close to me, said "Just lend me your bag/blouse for a couple of days so that I can get someone to copy it for me." I was so indignant at their taking-for-granted tone that I replied "These are one-offs, not to be copied." I said it lightly, not angrily, but I was annoyed.

I am normally very eager to share crochet know-how. If I use a pattern I always give the link or lend the book to whoever asks, and I explain whatever modifications I have made. Seeing my enthusiasm, seven of my colleagues have started crocheting regularly, and I always help them with patterns, and lend them my "originals" if they ask, but these two are not crocheters.

I am just wondering how other crocheters would have reacted.

[Lubba_my_kiddos]

I think them asking to borrow it to get it copied is totally rude! I would have said so as well. I get alot of people who don't appriciate the time that goes into createing something amazing from just a few balls of yarn and a hook. Next time just say if they want to borrow things they have to pay to copy your hard work.

[happy stitcher]

I wouldn't have loaned it to them, either.

If I were interested in replicating it personally, I would have offered to make it for $$...but if not, then they would just be out of luck.

[bethintx1]

I would say, "Thanks! I worked hard on perfecting this! I'll be happy to let you know where to find the basic pattern for this sweater, then you can customize it to you own tastes, but my adaptations are like a family's secret recipe. I will never share it. It's a secret!"

[HappyOldCro]

I would have been insulted, and I think your reply was appropriate. To ask you to make them one for payment is one thing, but to ask to borrow it so someone else can copy it is downright rude!!!

Not too many folks know what OOAK is, and don't have the manners to match.

However in a weird way it is also a compliment (sort of) that they even felt it was good enough to copy. I don't now if I would want too many of those kind of compliments....

[magiccrochetfan]

I think your response was perfect:hook

[Granny Square]

Here's a snappy comeback if another selfish clod makes the same request: "Sure, if you let me borrow $100 in the meantime!". When their eyes bug out, say "No, you may not borrow my blouse, it's one of a kind etc.". Maybe they'd realize how out of line they were.

[SlowCrocheter]

lol wish I was just that creative so somone would even ask me that.

Take it as a complement. They love your work and want to make one for themself.

[Margret]

Wow, I would never do that. Well of course I could not copy it anyway. But I sure do apreciate the patterns that you all give us to make. I am so jealouse that I cannot do that. Sometimes the ones I do make turn out and sometimes they do not. I have no one around to help me out with them. But that is okay. Keeps this old lady thinking and learning..

[Cliffnote]

I thought it was very rude too, and would have told them "NO" as well. What arrogance!!

[amdm]

I am feeling very reassured that so many of you have sympathised with my reaction. After I had turned them down I began wondering about whether I had been mean - I am glad that none of you think so. As for taking it as a compliment - well, this is the sort of compliment I don't need.

[Real Deal]

Yes, this is what is called the backhanded compliment ~ An insult and compliment rolled into one. It's quite distasteful.

[Flia]

You're absolutely right.

 

I would offer to write the pattern down so they could buy it.

[HomekeepingGran]

Hmmmm... there are people who absolutely do not mind if someone else copies what they make but obviously you do, so refusing was within your right, amdm.

 

Once I was having trouble with a shawl and asked a friend to look over the directions and help me. She chose the exact same yarn to make a shawl for her mother from the pattern. I was a tad miffed but in the end she never quite got the directions worked out and I eventually did, so mine looked fine while hers never did lay flat. Plus, I've never seen her mother in my life and don't expect to, so I guess the near-duplicate shawl doesn't bother me too much. It's the idea of having a unique handmade garment more than anything. After all, how many people wear the same jeans or shoes you do? Many thousands?

[Feederofthepack]

Exactly like a secret family recipe! You can say I change and design patterns to make a unique item for myself. I really don't want copies made.

[JillD]

The problem with "secret family recipes" is that they get lost and then 100 years from now no one can make it because the "secret keeper" refused to share the recipe with anyone.

 

Your post reminded me of something a friend told me she heard from a very well-regarded baker teaching a cooking class in which she shared all of her well-known favorites, "A good cook never shares her recipes; a great cook always does."

 

As I can't make up my own patterns or recipes to save my life, I am grateful to those who are willing to share their talent for pattens or recipes, either for free or for compensation. If I could do either, I would definitely share them because I like the idea of my creativity living on long after I am gone (even if no one knows it was me who created it).

[Debbi-a1]

You were right in not offering to lend them the item. If you knew them and the other crocheter really well, that may be another story, maybe. I don't know for sure. I don't know if I would have. I don't know if I would have wanted it out of my hands for fear it wouldn't return.

 

I like the idea of you making one for them. For money of course. A reasonable amount of money. What an original item would run for.

Debbi

[Sugarcoatedlies]

They could have asked differently or asked if you could make them one. I'd be flattered that they like my work, but to ask if they can borrow it to get it copied? that's pretty rude

[Granny Square]

I'm with Debbi, I think the rudest part of the request was not the copying (although that was presumptuous enough), but the notion that you wouldn't mind "lending" out your piece to someone you barely knew, so they they could give it to a complete stranger to copy.

[amdm]

Long ago I took the decision never to knit or crochet or sew for money. I make stuff for my own use or to give as gifts or as donations, but I never take orders - that would take all the fun out of it.

If these items were made from patterns I would have shared the patterns right away, I always do, and I also lend the actual items to close friends who are also crochet enthusiasts, but I don't write patterns - I tried once, and it was possibly the most boring thing I have ever done.

I think it was their presumptuousness that annoyed me more than anything else.

[CrochetAmore]

I agree with what others have said. It was extremely rude of them to ask in the manner that they did, and yes, quite presumptuous to say the least. I cannot see how anyone could take it as a compliment. Just because you have the talent to design your own creations does not mean you owe the crochet world a service. You have every right to "hand pick" who receives your designs. I wouldn't have done anything differently. You go girl!

[grandma2allboys]

I would have told them no also. It is pretty rude of them to just assume that you're going to lend them your stuff when you hardly know them. It's quite possible you'd be "giving" it to them, because you may never see it again. If someone likes your pattern, and wants a copy, there is a proper way to ask. And it is still up to you whether you want to give it to them. Your designs are your own, and while sharing them is wonderful, it is still your choice.

[ratdog]

Sounds like your 'light' touch was perfect.

 

You were right to be annoyed!

[amdm]

Thanks for your support.

[yarn_monkey]

Rude!!! I would have tried very hard to be polite about it (and quite possibly have failed lol) but I would have told them that it wasn't happening and if they wanted one, it would cost $X for me to make it!