Pressured to Crochet Gifts

[Julia from NorCal]

I made some crocheted hats as Christmas gifts last year. Typically I only crochet for charity so this was a special thing. Now I'm getting pressure to crochet a hat for someone who liked what I had made but had not been in the circle of recepients. They did get a gift from me but it was not crocheted or a hat. Didn't even think they would want a hat.

Wonder if this happens to anyone else out there. Since I make things for strangers it's assumed that I can just as easily make something for someone I know and that it's okay to expect it. It is a bit flattering but not the way I would prefer to be asked (second hand). I will make the hat but I thought this would make a good question for the forum. Anyone else experience this odd pressure? (Pandora's box is now officially open).

[chrispersmom]

It happens....believe me. People I barely know make a point to invite me to baby showers and things. Hoping to get a crocheted items. So, I just send them booties or something. I save the blankets and sweaters for people that Iam close to. Most of my family expects homemade items, but I just alternate. Some get homemade one year while others get store bought . Then the next year , I switch around. As it is, I barely get everything made on time. So, I NEVER commit to making something. Idon't ever tell ahead.

[Knit Happens]

Yes. There was another post here about assumptions people make, or odd things they say, when you're seen crocheting. It troubles me when a co-worker...not a friend or anything, not even someone I go to lunch with, will assume that because I craft I'd jump at the chance to make someething for them, cuz they would like that. ugh.

[Selune]

In my case, my mother offers my services to crochet something. I'll be standing right there and she'll say "Angela will make you one." Ack!! Especially when it's something either complicated or takes a lot of yarn.

[chrispersmom]

In my case, my mother offers my services to crochet something. I'll be standing right there and she'll say "Angela will make you one." Ack!! Especially when it's something either complicated or takes a lot of yarn.

 

 

And don't you especially love it when no one offers to at least foot the bill for the supplies? EEK!

[Julia from NorCal]

And don't you especially love it when no one offers to at least foot the bill for the supplies? EEK!

 

Thanks for bringing that up. I can imagine how it is with the larger items for wedding gifts, etc.

[KateCrochets]

I like making crochet gifts, but it can get overwhelming - especially when in the past year I've had over a dozen (yes, a DOZEN) friends have babies or get married. I don't want to be mean, so I don't talk about it a lot, but I've basically rated my friends and family on what they "rank" crochet wise!

 

Factors include: have they every expressed interest in my crocheted work before (because I don't want to spend that much time and effort on something they won't appreciate as much as something that cost about the same money and none of the time)? Have they gotten something recently (generally, there's a "waiting" period between big gifts)? How close a friend or family member is it? How big/complicated/$ intensive/time intensive/interesting to do is the present?

 

I've had a few people ask me specifically for a crocheted present, and, depending on how it's worded or emphasized, it's usually flattering, but I try not to commit to anything - presents should be surprises!

[texasredhead]

It happens a lot to me as well. I could spend months making something for a friend's baby and then someone I hardly know will want one just like it. I used to get annoyed, but now I just tell them how much it will cost for the supplies and my labor and they usually drop the subject!

[theworm]

I love it when my friends and family ask me to make things for them or for them to give as baby gifts. It's a big compliment to me. But there is one woman who I don't know all that well - a friend of a friend, who has asked me several times to make things for her and her family. I think its odd. I made her one thing, but not the rest.

[MaryPat]

People sometimes blurt out stuff like "I'd want one" but really all they want is something free.

[Selune]

People sometimes blurt out stuff like "I'd want one" but really all they want is something free.

 

Absolutely. Or it's just a case of wanting something because someone else has one.

[eurolyons]

I usually (in the past anyway) experienced the opposite...but I do have friends that like what I do and tell me they'd like me to make something...I don't mind...because they are friends.

 

I don't really like it if someone asks through someone else to ask me to make them something...they need to ask me themselves...

 

What I will do though is ask my friends if they are serious...because sometimes they just are giving me a compliment and back off because they don't me to feel pressured into making something for them.

 

A hat is something that is so fast for me to make it would be an afterthought...no problem. Anything more than that and I'd have to think about it.

 

But no, I don't really feel pressured except from my mom. And only because she can't just let me make something for her and leave it at that...she's got to micromanage what I do. I asked her if she wanted a pair of socks (as she was admiring mine that are one color, one stitch, in sock yarn,) and she said yes and when I asked what color, she said she wanted Fair Isle...thanks mom...she probably wants them in a Fair Isle pattern with 10 colors...I haven't made them yet...

 

I used to make her things all the time until she gave away one thing 2 hours after receiving it and just about threw in the trash a couple of other things simple because she was mad at me...yeah right, like I want to make things for her now...

 

If the person did not ask you directly, before you spend the time making that hat, contact that person and verify that she or he really wants a hat.

[pinsandneedles]

People are always asking me to make them something. I've even been asked to crochet someone else's Christmas gifts because that person can't crochet. I've learned to be flattered but to gently explain that I barely have the time to crochet things on my list.

However, I have been trying to crochet some things for charity and my daughter has been claiming them all! She seems to be the one person I can't

say no to!

Guess I'll have to start crocheting in secret-shut myself in a closet!

[Riohnna]

This may sound mean of me, but, OH, WELL!! Back when my MIL (monster in law) lived with us, she wanted me to make her something for the kitchen. I ignored it.

My reason: she wanted something to protect the counter top, since we are renting, and the counter top is granite. If I had made something, she would cover the granite, and create havoc, because everything would slip and slide, with yarn against smooth granite. She wouldn't have used the slip resistant thingers. ALSO, the other reason of my ignoring her, she would laugh her arse off at my creations, unless it was something she wanted. I will hush now, (I could write a book on that evil woman!)

[birdlady1]

Tell this person you'll "add them to your list" and make something when all your other priorities are taken care of. You should never feel pressured. It'll be reflected in your work!

[HappyOldCro]

Wow, you guys must be really good at what you do. The only ones who ask me to make something for them are family kids and some friends and neighbors. Wouldn't it be nice if folks really said what they thought?

I get a lot of "you should sell this kind off stuff" or "Oh isn't that beautiful?"

The few folks who do ask if I could make some of my handiwork for them, soon forget about it when I tell them to buy the supplies, and I would be happy to do it. I freely give the things I make to people I care about, and charities, because it is my choice and not "a work order".

[Real Deal]

My second MIL was so good at manipulation every time I crocheted something. Out of her mouth would come "Oh, if I was only as talented as you, I could make myself one of those. I'd really love one of those. You young people today are so clever" ad nauseum. Of course, I'd have to make her one.

Real Deal

[unicorn37757]

I've had that problem too especially with my Mother! If I made something for her (because I wanted to) she would want me to make it for all her friends to; of course she'd say I could sell it to them but never taking in that they wouldn't want to pay what it really cost me in supplies & time to make!

[Aggie May]

You know, it took me many, many years to finally be comfortable telling people "NO" when they asked me to make something for them, either knitted or crocheted.

It was always assumed that, because I could do both, I would not mind making just one small item.

What they usually forgot to take into account was, they were not the only duck in the puddle and there was maybe 3 or 4 people ahead of them.

Then I decided to make what I wanted to make and if it happened to be what they wanted, they could buy it, if not, tough luck.

On very special occasions I make an exception to the rule but it has to be someone very special.

I now get great satisfaction out of making afghans, hats and scarves etc and giving most of them away or at most charging not much more than the cost of the yarn.

Remember, if you dont want to make something, say "NO"

I finally learned that if a question can be answered with the "YES " or a "NO" it was fine to say "NO" if you dont want to do as someone else expected.

Have fun.

Colleen:hug

[coffeeandcrochet]

This happens to me alot too. I had this converation with a woman 2 weeks ago:

Woman: I just love the afghan you made me for Christmas last yr. Course now my husband needs one, he takes mine all the time. He needs a bigger one though (hint hint) maybe in a more manly color. Oh and my stepdaughter came to visit, she wants one in purple to match her room. (hint hint). I wish I could learn to crochet, but I WORK.

 

Me: thinking( :tryme

 

Woman: So are you making any?

Me: thinking:rant

Woman: I know lots of people you could give one too.

Me: Well I haven't really made a lot of afghans this yr. I"m sure you could learn.

Woman: Yes, you could teach me

Me: No, sorry I'm a leftie your aren't but there are great sites on the internet, you could learn there.

Woman: No, I don't have the interent or the time.

Then she left.

Me thinking:

[CDBear]

I made shawls last year for Christmas for my co-workers, and when my mom felt the yarn I was using (Homespun), she just raved about how soft it was, and how she wished she had a shawl........ I made one for her for Christmas, and she won't use it because she says the yarn is "too scratchy". From now on, she'll get a gift card from her nail salon........I KNOW she'll use that!!

[Trinket]

Ah, yes. I've run into this, too. For example, I wore a shawl I made to worship service one day. One of the congregation members saw it, and apparently fell in love with it immediately. I had just enough of the yarn left to make one more like the one I was wearing, and I knew I'd never use the yarn for anything again otherwise (and why would I need 2 of the same shawl?), so I told her I'd make her one. It was a quick and easy project and I had her shawl done by the next week's services. She wore it that day, and I ended up getting asked if I would make a shawl for some other ladies of the congregation. I politely said that I wouldn't be able to make them for free, but I could make them one for a modest price (I really don't charge much for my work). In the end, I got some shawl orders and made a little money from it.

 

I guess the point of my story is to try to be as polite about declining to make something for free as you're able, and then offer the item for a fair price to the requester. If they're really sincere, then they won't mind paying you for the work.

[amdm]

And what do you do when colleagues for whom you have not made gifts see the ( very small ) items you have made for other colleagues, and confront you saying " You made it for the wrong person, you should have made it for me" ?

[The_Virginia_Hooker]

And don't you especially love it when no one offers to at least foot the bill for the supplies? EEK!

 

 

I've been lucky enough that when people have asked if i would make them something, they immediately follow with "I'll pay!" I only ask for yarn cost, though, but that's just me.

 

So i get "orders" mainly for my hats and scarves. I try to shop with that person to help select the color and type of yarns though. I want to make sure that what they get is comfy, and that it's not a pain for me to work with.

[Momcrochets]

I get the opposite. Most people in my inlaw side seem to prefer not handmade, so after years of coming up with special just-for-you gifts, I'm going to have to give in to store bought. My side is much more appreciative, but don't generally make requests, so naturally, I LOVE making stuff for them. I guess I must not crochet too much in public or something, b/c I rarely get "off the cuff" requests. Thank goodness. Back to the inlaw side, it is VERY frustrating to spend all that time on a gift and see it barely appreciated at all.