Jump to content

How do I ask my MIL...


Recommended Posts

If she actually liked the purse I made her for mother's day? (I actually gave it to her about 2 weeks early) I made her a REALY nice purse with lionbrand suede yarn..I lined it and everything. It's probably the project that I'm most proud of. It's also my most expensive project. She hasn't used it once. When I aske my fiance about it, he said that it takes her a while to use new things...but her mom sent her a coach purse for MD and she uses that one...I was talking to my SIL today and she says her mom is just probably afraid of getting it dirty. I made it for it to be used, not to sit in her bedrm...When I gave it to her, she seemed to really like it and told me she liked it, and I don't want to ask and like pressure her into using it. I would just like to see it get some use is all...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Some people feel handmade things are are too....pretty or good to use on a daily basis...even if we think they should be used....that's why we made them! Maybe if you explain to her that you made it to be used ....she would understand...I am sure she loves it!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

She got two purses for Mother's Day. She can't use them both at the same time. She probably is waiting for something nice to use the one you made.

I made my MIL a Fat Bottom Bag from the Stitch and Bitch book, last year's Mother's day. She loves it but mostly only uses it for work (she works in a nice office) or special days. She's a very southern lady and has more than one 'pocketbook' that she switches around.

 

:)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I would also just drop into conversation who to clean it. Can she handwash it without ruining it? I know that I told my niece that everything I made for her baby could go in the delicate cycle so that she would feel comfortable using it. Sometimes recipients are afraid to ruin the gifts.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

...When I gave it to her, she seemed to really like it and told me she liked it, and I don't want to ask and like pressure her into using it. ..

 

She said she liked it, and you said that she seemed to like it, why do you need more reassureance, why isn't that enough? You made it for her,you did a good job, from you post, she seem ed to accept it with gratitute,so let it go. The purse is no longer yours, it is now hers to use or not as she she's fit . Be grateful that she showed her appreciation when you gave it toh her.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Some people feel handmade things are are too....pretty or good to use on a daily basis...even if we think they should be used....that's why we made them! Maybe if you explain to her that you made it to be used ....she would understand...I am sure she loves it!

 

I agree. My MIL would be the type to save it for a special occassion. I was thinking about making one for her for Christmas, but am not sure what style to make.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'll tell you something I just learned recently. I made something for my brother for his birthday. Now this is my OWN BROTHER. Never once did I hear him say how much he liked it. I don't even know if he is using it. I'm sure he appreciates it and I have got to accept that. I am learning that when I make something I FEEL GOOD about it. Never mind what other people think. If you get praise for it, hey that is wonderful. If not just let it go and give yourself a pat on your back. I'm sure the purse is beautiful.

 

Another thing, my SIL made us a fleece blanket as a wedding gift. My DH thought it was so beautiful that it should of been hung instead of used. My SIL meant to give it to us to be used.

 

So if I were you, I would just let it go. Who knows you may be surprised one day seeing her wear the purse you made. THAT WOULD BE A BONUS!;)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Maybe she has a special outfit in mind that it will go with, and she's waiting to wear it. Or maybe she's waiting to get the special outfit. However you look at it, your gift is special!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

She said she liked it, and you said that she seemed to like it, why do you need more reassureance, why isn't that enough? You made it for her,you did a good job, from you post, she seem ed to accept it with gratitute,so let it go. The purse is no longer yours, it is now hers to use or not as she she's fit . Be grateful that she showed her appreciation when you gave it toh her.

 

I agree. Besides, some people simply don't use gifts for a long time whether they are hand made or store bought. My father was one to NOT wear new shirts until several years after they were given. We always laughed about this little idiosyncricy.

 

Beverly

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I agree, I am thinking she liked it very much, but maybe she thought the coach purse was sturdier for every day use and she is saveing the purse you made her for GOOD....or like others have said for a time she wears a special outfit. I know that I use different purses at different times of the year, I wouldn't use a straw or summer purse in the winter and maybe she sees the purse you made her as a cerain season purse...does that make sense??

I am sure she loved it and really appreciated it, so relax and enjoy your success in makeing a great item.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am sure she loved it, who wouldn't ?? I can tell you from personal experience, and being an AVID crocheter also, I recieved a WONDERFUL bag from a member here, and it truely took me a bit to actually USE it, only because it is so pretty I was sure I would ruin it by getting it dirty right away, but I finally got the courage to use it, and have recieved so many compliments on it, and I LOVE it!! So I am sure she just wants to use it for them special times :hug:manyheart

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The others may be right, she may be waiting for the "special" outfit. I have family that does not like homemade gifts - it's very strange. If you went to a craft mall or a fancy place and purchased a handmade item for them, they would feel differently about it since it was "purchased" for them. Some people just don't like homemade gifts, I'm not sure why. I think they are crazy :D I try not to let it bother me, but in all honesty, it's tough not to let it.

 

I'm sure the purse you made is lovely and I know you did a great job with it. You can be proud of your gift. Give her some time to use it and after awhile if she hasn't mentioned it, I might be inclined to say something like, "You sure do look nice today, such a pretty outfit. That purse I made for you would go perfectly with it." ;)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Everyone here has very good points but I really do get where you're coming from.

 

you could always ask her if she want's you to Scotchguard it so she wouldn't have to be worried about getting it dirty.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I like RoseRed's idea - or ask her if she needs a change purse or something to go with it.

 

Or, you could just come right out and ask her why she hasn't carried it yet (she may have, and you just haven't seen her carry it). Let her know that you are worried she doesn't like it, and you don't want her to say she likes it if she doesn't and that it's okay to use it - it's washable and you meant for her to use it!

 

You could also let her know that you are feeling a little unsure about her reaction, without saying something like "I know you don't really like it" or anything like that.

 

She probably really does like it, and just is waiting to use it. The Coach purse is a sturdier purse for everyday use, and may have more features that she finds useful in her day to day life.

 

I know that while I'm fine with a crocheted bag, b/c I use a wallet, my mother has to have a purse with about 5 pockets on the inside and outside, including an organizer pocket, b/c she does not use a wallet. So, any purse I make her for everyday has to have those pockets. Therefore, I do not make her purses, lol!

 

But really, if she said she likes it, I'm sure she does.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think you should just let it go. I've been married for almost 30 years and have made multitudes of things for my mother in law. I have never seen her use anything!!!! She has all of it packed away in the attic. Needless to say, I stopped making things for her. I'm sure she likes them all and is just keeping them safe and clean. But it's not worth a family argument. I gave things to her in good faith and what she does with them is on her! :yes

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm sure your MIL loved your gift. Maybe it took her by surprise??? Have you or anyone else made her things before? She could possibly be saving it for a special place and time? Who knows. Just be proud of yourself that that purse you made her you went out of your way to make it special(special yarn, special lining, etc.), and that you made it with love.

I have family that some enjoy receiving things that I make, and then there's a few that don't enjoy. I just tell myself that everything I make for them is made out of my love for them and my love of crocheting, knitting, sewing, etc. or whatever the occasion. I've learned along the way, not to let some of these family members get to me. Just be proud that you have a gift of been "creative". And more power to you!!! :hook "HOOK ON" sista:lol

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks for all the replies everyone! I'm just going to have to believe she liked it and stop worrying...i forgot to mention that this is also the first time i have given a hand made item to anyone before so i was extra nervous...but i guess if she said she likes it, then she likes it

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...