Our House Part One (go to Part Two for posting)

[judianne]

OK --another marriage question :

 

Once ,many years ago, I heard a guy ask his engaged friend how he got along with his fiance's FAMILY ?

He said you don't marry the girl, you marry the FAMILY .

 

 

What are your thoughts on THAT ? How big a part does the FAMILY play on the success of the marriage ?

 

* Let me just add ,as a rule , in my experience with the majority of people I know,they have one or the other . They have a wonderful spouse and lousy inlaws, or a lousy spouse,and wonderful inlaws. I can't think of many people who are lucky and get both things to be good together .

It can make or break a marriage, depending on how we handle our families...

Well....I was engaged to hubby at 18, only 3 months after we met. To say my mom wasn't thrilled is putting it mildly. A Polish woman, she had gone through some rough times when younger and had a very sarcastic way about her. It was a good thing that hubby stood his ground with her - though he was always respectful. They never really got along: mom was strong willed and a dominant personality and Hubby...well, he's a Greek man and was a cop when we met, so you can imagine....

 

....one thing: when we adopted DS in Missouri and my mom flew out to visit she KNEW I was in trouble when the first words hubby said to her were: "Am I glad to see you!":lol:lol

And I really hadn't a clue what I was doing with my 2 month old!

 

I adored his mother, though, as he did:manyheart...she was a loving, sweet lady and knew when to suggest things and when to step back. The most painful time of our lives was watching her slowly deteriorate and end up in a nursing home before she died 4 years ago.

 

I initially got along well with his older sister, too, but that went South when she bad-mouthed my hubby for no reason. I have a knickname one of Hubby's friend's gave me: Momma Bear. I'm not my mother's daughter for nothing....must be the Mongol blood that runs through our veins....

 

So, with the estrangement from SIL, step FIL, and the nieces, our son and our friends are what we have left. We're lucky in that respect. It's a shame when people act stupid and won't listen. It is what it is....

I'm still very blessed.

[JulieKay]

Mary

You and me could wander through the White House together ,wouldnt that be fun ? I just love seeing historical things, items that have been a part of our country's history for so very long .

 

And yep you could bring your pup and Luke !

 

 

 

 

Faile

You certainly sound so very knowledgeable about personal relationships .You have a lot of good answers for all these questions !

 

 

Kiyo

If you are going to Bora Bora ,do you need someone wo help you paddle the raft ? I'd like to come along .

 

*PS- I'm OLD ,so you'd have to paddle more than me, but I will try to chip in and help .

 

 

LeAnna

You made many good points, and sounds as if you have the spouse/family issues pretty well figured out and have come to a form of compromise for lack of a better word,that actually sounds as if it works pretty well foor you guys. I'm real glad .

 

Sorry --just deleted my comments. You guys go ahead and talk. It's ok,really ! It's just best if I don't think about some areas of my life right now .

 

It'll be fine to read the comments, etc. I just can't comment now ,

[LovinThis32]

Julie- COME ON!!!! We would stretch our time from 24 hours to 24 days or something like that. No hurry in paddling, heck, I would have a drink in one hand, my tanning oil in the other and some hottie better be PUSHING us around!

[Cheeria]

Hi House, :cheerit has been one of those nice mild day in New Jersey, so I bundle up the lil darlings and we went on a short trip to AC Moore to get my yarn for the doily ghan than on to Mickey D, it really was a nice day for a trip out, at last.

 

Julie - if I had a choice of being somewhere alone for 24 hours, I would have to say on an island cooling out at a beach where cooling breezes are blowing and the ocean water is shimmering between the purest color of aqua and purplish aqua *like the beaches in Bermuda) and the sand isn't hot but feel so good under my foot. I would like to have a beach basket with me withh good things to eat and cooling drinks, my NOOK is by my side but I also have my MP3 on playing some nice soothing music. At night with the stars twinkling over head I'm lure to sleep by ocean sounds. Oh if only I could escape to this place now???????

 

Judy - sorry to hear about you are in some kind of pain and I'm prayerful that the pain will leave you soon.

 

Joanne - I know about those nights where you climb into bed to read but all of a sudden your in dreamland for that's me every night. Hope you had a great day.

 

Cindy - I love your doily. I wish I was good working with thread.

 

I didn't take notes but I did read all the posts and I'm sending HUGS Out to Our House family. Got to run and do dinner while the baby is sleep and Jaedon is entertaining himself. Have a nice evening everyone. :hug

[judianne]

Hi, again...

 

I'm off to the neighborhood book club at 8PM. It's always a fun time...the noise level rises each time the wine/beer glasses are topped off:lol:lol

 

Cheeria, good to see you posting again!

 

Jules, your questions always make me think more deeply than is my habit - a good thing.

[imanurse55]

Hi ladies

Another one that has me stumped,so I need to think on it a bit .

 

If you could have any place in the world all to yourself for 24 hours, where would it be ?

A yarn store with a coffee cafe and bookstore as part of it- That is my idea of a great place to spend my time!!!

[JulieKay]

Ok guys

Let's try this again . Thank you for stepping in and making me think in another direction. Thinking about a beach is good. I love the beach,so calming and relaxing. Kiyo, I definitely think I'd take you up on the boraBora idea. I hate to sound stupid, but where is it on the map ?

 

And Cheeria

Have you ever been to Bermuda ? The wter in those places is so pretty . We have been to beaches before .I've seen Virginia Bea, Cape Hatteras,Myrtle Beach ,Daytona Beach .... but none of them have that crystal blue-green water .

Does anyone know what makes the water look like that ?

 

Jude

Have a good time at your book talk tonite ! I think I could use a few slugs of whatever they are drinking .

 

Hi Joanne

How was work ?

 

 

Again,ladies,I'm real sorry ... sometimes I just allow my brain to go places that are NOT good .Nothing any of you said or did . I'm just having some difficulties dealing with my past ,and sometimes certain things set it off,then I can feel that black cloud coming back .. I have to avoid that at all costs .

 

So, I really do enjoy the questions and answers and conversations we have . Some things , I may be able to share ,and it may help me to get them out ,but others are just too painful .

 

So, I gotta get my brain to veer off in a new direction .

 

No offense TO anyone,and I hope none was taken . This is just an issue I have to handle and sometimes I don't do very well with it .

 

Now somebody pass me a Fuzzy Navel and let's get the binoculars out and see if we can see any of those suntanned muscle men walking towards us .

[imanurse55]

Very interesting conversation today!!

 

As far as family and spouses- It was very important to me the second time around that my father liked DH- he not only liked him- he loved him. My mom had already passed away when I met DH. I know that they were both disappointed in how my first marriage ended. My mother was from the school of thought "for better or worse"- I, on the other hand was of the school "I'm not living like this anymore".... My Dad was way more understanding of things than my Mom.

 

Well, DH and my Dad got along so well- it was wonderful. My Dad told me how happy he was for me and we often did things with my Dad. He is the one that wanted me to have a wedding. I could have cared less- but it was very important to him. I am so glad that I went ahead and had a wedding since it really made my Dad happy. My brothers and cousins also really like DH- and I have to say that means alot to me.

 

My DH is estranged from his mother- there are issues from his past that he has dealt with and has basically not had any contact with her in the years we have been together. He is very close however to his mother's sister- and speaks with her every week. His father was already deceased when we met.

 

I see how lucky my DD is that she and SIL's family get along so well. They are a very close knit family and they welcomed her with open arms. Her MIL is also my friend now and we get along so well. I tell my DD all the time how blessed she is....although I really don't have to- cause she tells me that she is lucky to have such a nice family-

 

Cheeria - it's nice that you went to ACM today- It surely was a beautiful day outside- and tomorrow is going to be gorgeous too!

 

Judy- Hope that the pain is subsiding- I'm not one to take pain pills or anything- unless absolutely necessary!! That blackberry brandy sounds like something I would try in lieu of a pill though! (and I'm not a drinker either)- Have fun at your book club!!!!

 

LeAnna- You seem to have things under control regarding family/spouse issues.

 

Linda- Hope all went well with the doctor appt and the hair appointment and that it didn't wear Kim (or you) out too much!

 

Mary- How's the new wheels? Are you sure you wouldn't want to be alone somewhere for 24 hours? To me alone time is heaven time- but that's just me!! Of course if you want you can take Gracie and Luke!!!

 

Marisa- Hope you find a pattern that you like!

 

Kiyo- When is bF coming again? My memory-is failing me now---getting old stinks!

 

Trish- Hope you don't get washed away with all the rain!!! LOL

 

Cindy- Hope you had a nice day off- is tomorrow another 12 hours?

 

Have a good evening everyone!

[judianne]

Jules, you're doing just fine!

 

 

The pain is still lingering but only a little, tg.

 

Well, I washed off the sweat from our 60 plus degree day...off for now

[Amy]

Hey, everyone! Since this thread has over 17,000 posts in it, it's probably been loading incredibly slowly for some of you on slower-speed connections for quite awhile.

 

We've started a new thread for you all, where you can continue on just as you were in this thread.

 

Click here to get to Our House Part Two.

 

I'm going to close this thread now, so please click the link above and continue talking over there.

 

Don't worry----I'll add a link to Our House Part One in the first post in that thread so you can find this old thread easily for reference if you need to.

 

I'll also put a link to Our House Part Two in the first post in this thread.