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To come back to crochet in good order

darski

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darski Grand Master

darski

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There are certain rules to the Christmas season that guarantee a productive January of crocheting... here yah go...

 

HO L I D A Y E A T I N G T I P S

 

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet

table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots,

leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

 

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. it's rare. You can't

find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has

10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an

eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me

Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

 

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of

gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your

mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

 

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk

or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports

car with an automatic transmission.

 

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control

your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other

people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

 

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New

Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This

is

the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table

while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

 

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like

frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself

near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the

center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave

them behind, you're never going to see them again.

 

8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or

if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have

three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

 

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the

mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some

standards.

 

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party

or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read

tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner. Remember

this motto to live by:

 

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of

arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to

skid in

sideways, chocolate in one hand, body thoroughly used up, totally worn

out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"

 

Have a great holiday season!

 

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