I live with a yarn thief (bit of a rant)

[Cuddlefish]

Wow, what a cow. I would take it back. She reached into your drawer, I would reach into her purse or whatever, take it out and rip that thing she's making right in front of her.

 

And what she's doing there is not even crochet, it's socalled fingerknitting with a utensil, what is popularly called hen- or chicken-knit in Danish.

 

I'm speachless. What a manipulating b****!!

[Michelle1210]

Oh My nothing i couold say that others havnt already....THE NERVE!!!!!

[SaxDragon]

First off, give up on ever getting the skein back, at least while she knows you still want it. She's 'feeding off' the situation. Let her starve. When she gets tired of having it, she may or may not leave it somewhere for you to find.

 

Second, do not take one of hers, that's playing into her game - and could be used against you in any confrontation (between you two, or with the dorm/apartment mgr, campus/city police).

 

Third, document the inceident in a notebook and keep it someplace safe. Dat/time/place/incident/witnesses and who it was reported to. Don't exaggerate (looks bad to do that). Don't let her see it, either. If she gives the skein back, document that too. Include that you did/or didn't get a lock, who has access to extra keys, etc. Document any other behavior problems, not just theft incidents. If she's taking hard to prove things, you can put a piece of clear tape in a place on it where it's not likely to be noticed, then, if it disappears you can have the mgr or police check the item for the tape (I had to do that once).

 

Fourth, get a lock (if it's allowed in the lease, if not, talk to the mgr so that the roommate can't report the lease violation). Let your boyfriend install it - it'll make him feel usefull :-)

 

Fifth, take your cencerns to the mgr or police so there is at least an offical record of the incident. Useful to have if similar incidents occur and you need to move (sixth, since she is likely on the lease, you probably can't force her out - if you do move, get your name off the lease or she'll stick you by skipping out and they'll hold you responsible for the bill. Seventh, you also can't deduct the price of the yarn from your rent, even if you're paying rent to her, in most states).

 

Eigth, don't fall into telling everybody you both know about it or posting it on a buildboard on campus. That can be used against you, too (seen it happen here at school and the pster was the one who got kicked out of the dorm, not the theif, for 'malicious activities').

[rsisland]

If you're in a dorm and stuck there for now...how about a footlocker with a lock?

 

If I was in this situation, I think at this point I would not make anymore comments on it. It usually backfires and causes trouble for you. My hubby always says "What goes around comes around", eventually she will get hers.

 

Good luck and rant away anytime!

[Sahmlock]

Ok, I am probably not going to be well-received here...but if you have to stay with said person for a length of time...I would pick your battles wisely.

Let it go...dont SHOW her (although it is late for that)...that she urked you..some people get-off on urking others and will continue to do such.

Try to shrug it off...but keep your guard up with your valuables...in perspective...it is Yarn...sentimental to you, NOT her...and there is no dye lot in her reasoning...so, she is not connecting the err of her ways and probably will NEVER be able to grasp the whole sentimental thing...obviously she was not raised with the same values and regards to boundaries/privacy as you and you will meet many people as such...

so, let it go...cuz you wont be changing that person anytime soon.....sorry.....thank your honey though...focus on him....dont let that girl suck all your energy....she's not worth the effort.

good luck...

[craftybutterfly]

I can go both ways. I'd be mad as a hornet, but on the other side, she is (it seems) as someone else said, feeding off your reaction. If you stop giving her an audience, she'll stop performing. And take steps to protect yourself and your belongings. I think the idea of a locked foot-locker of some sort is in order. She didn't think the yarn was inferior, she was jelious of what you had, proven by the fact that she swiped a skein. protect your stuff, kiss the skein good-bye, and move on. That's what I'd do. Luckily simply soft isn't very expensive to replace one skein.

[knitcrochetandpray]

I never had any of my Marine Corps roomates steal from me, but several were extremely disrepectful (piggishly messy, loud music and t.v at all hours of the day and night, having intercourse while I was in the next bed some 5 feet away). Anyway... if you live in a dorm I agree that you need to document everything (SaxDragon outlined this very well), and you must tell the RA/dorm mngr. She can be held accountable in this type of environment. However, if you live on your own, you should chaulk this up to experience. Let her have the yarn, invest in the locks as suggested, and work on moving either her or yourself out. Personally, after I had taken the picture, I would have gathered up the items, confronted her when she arrived home, then frogged her work in front of her (being snippy today-what she was doing is finger knitting, childish at best, there is very little use and no technique to this work-I am grumpy today!!! And I despise arrogance, theives and liars!) That being said, pray for a quick resolution to your situation, and for her as she so obviously needs it, due to her lack of integrety, morals, and character.

[snugsmontreal]

superior way to crochet, is this chick bonkers. that is an ugly knobby knitter and the only thing she is going to make with that is a cheap, poorly made and not very strong rope. stupid girl.

you have a great boyfriend, and i agree with some of these people get out asap if you can if you cant, just start hoarding everythng you own and share with her like you can't imagine. you share a couch that you bought? pots and pans? plates? lock up all your stuff and charge her if she wants to use anything, she'll get the point she crossed a line really quick. i used to rent a 3 bedroom house and sublet to roommates so they paid me and you can not believe the dis respect they will give you if you let them. i once had a renter give me 2 days notice she was moving out, even though the lease was 30 days or more, and she was livid i was going to make her pay a full months rent before she left, and i then gave her a horrible refence (all true stuff about her though) to the new landlord that called me. karma man, it will bite you in the you-know-what

[ankey]

I know I handled the situation very poorly from the beginning. I live in a dorm where we share one room, even a closet and one bathroom but things have been resolved. I gave up on getting the yarn back and I talked to my RA who is letting me move out tomorrow since we have separate leases but I have to pay $200 for breaking the lease contract. I'm moving in with a few friends who had an extra room in their apartment but I'm definitely going to use the advice you gave me and keep my yarn and other "valuable" belongings under lock. Also, I'm going to make sure my need for privacy and boundaries are going to be very clear this time.

Thanks everyone for your comments, suggestions and even your criticisms.

[tinkerpuppet]

I can't believe the nerve of that girl, or the immaturity! But I'm glad to hear that you will be moving out. Its a horrible feeling to have your personal space and stuff invaded like that. It sounds like your moving somewhere that you'll be respected. Good luck!

[knitcrochetandpray]

May I suggest that you have another talk with the RA, and insist that your having to make a payment for breaking the lease be reconsidered, as your living situation is unacceptable; really it is not you that should have to move as you have not violated any rule or law, thus your roomate is the culprate, and if any monetary damages are to be paid, it should be by her. This makes me extremely angry for you. While I believe in humility, and meekness (turning the other cheek and do to others...), I also believe in justice. Such a little thing to this inconsiderate individual, has become a big ordeal for you, and being out $200, I would refuse! Just my

[Calesmommy]

Agree with all. But it Be really low and nasty (JUST A MEAN THOUGHT) I would find something she nitted, frog it and start crocheting with it. When she asks you could say. I had yarn but you used it. So I m using yours:devil NOT Saying you should, but the thought is nice.

[snugsmontreal]

glad to hear you are getting out of there with the yarn stealer, so rude i must say. i agree you should go into the new place, even if it is with friends, letting everyone know your expectations for privacy/respect and what will or wont be shares space/items/goods/food (that last one is important i had a roommate eat a whole box of my 5$ cereal because i didnt tell him that you only eat what you buy not a communal you buy some i buy some and we share)

[ErinLindsey]

Agree with all. But it Be really low and nasty (JUST A MEAN THOUGHT) I would find something she nitted, frog it and start crocheting with it. When she asks you could say. I had yarn but you used it. So I m using yours:devil NOT Saying you should, but the thought is nice.

 

I have a better idea... find something she knitted, and just snip one little thread in the middle of it with some scissors. It'll naturally unravel with a huge hole in the middle.

[crochetqueen]

I'm so glad you solved it, sorry you have to move. Now I know this will show what a mean person I am, I would of grabbed it or more or less taken it back period. The ONLY people that get to touch my yarn are the dogs and the cats (yes I consider them people) my husband won't even touch it. Of course on the other hand it someone "ask" me I am overly generous, I guess with me it is just the principal of the whole thing.

[darncat]

That whole thing is just sad, First that she thought it was ok to "borrow" without asking, second that she didn't give it back, third that she was raised to think her position was right.

By the sound of it she might be a little "off". I don't know anyone who uses a brand new yarn to try out something, If I doing someting I've never done before I use scraps first, that way the new yarn doesn't wear out with all the frogging. She might have been upset that someone cares so much about you to supply you with things that make you happy. Sounds like the Green Eyed Monster to me.

Good for you for taking the high road, you did better than I would have. To mess with something that is clearly important to another person and a gift, that just isn't right.

I agree you should talk to the RA about the circumstances surounding the need to move. Your roomate violated the law and your trust you shouldn't have to pay for it.

[losingmymind2]

If the RA won't allow you to skip the fee, you could always take roomie to small claims court and sue for your money back as damages. Or call Judge Judy, lol

[snugsmontreal]

Or call Judge Judy, lol

she would have a field day with this girl, i dont know her show personally but there is this one here that i catch on my few days off, man he whoops some butt on his show and he doesnt hesitate to tell people they did something stupid.

[V-Hooked]

WOW!! Fight for your yarn girl, who knows what else she has taken!! I will be doing the same thing!!

[V-Hooked]

WOW!! Fight for your yarn girl, who knows what else she has taken!! I will be doing the same thing!!

[V-Hooked]

WOW!! Fight for your yarn girl, who knows what else she has taken!! I will be doing the same thing!!

[Gretchen]

You poor thing! I definitely sympathize with you. I had an AWEFUL roommate in college that thought what was mine was ours.

Without going into too much detail - at least your roommate is only taking your yarn. My roommate took my underwear!

I say take something of hers that you know would bother her. She'll get the picture. Good luck!

[squish_52]

I've delt with some difficult roomies in college and i must say that they never tried to take my yarn! My roomies always take special care if one of my items has to be moved from the couch or somthing...as it is right now the roomies i have now think i'm funny cause i have like 3 pounds of yarn floating around the apt

[crochetluvknot]

i agree first take the yarn back or go get anohter skein and take it off the bill/rent what ever. i would for sure find another roommate what else has she taken that you may not know about or what will she take next. my even get your boyfriend over to take it from her for some one to say she doesnt feel like giving it back is no one to have around you.

[darski]

I think maybe it's time to forgive her and move on.

 

If you forgive her, you are not saying that you condone what she did but you are taking her off your hook and putting her on God's hook. This also means that you don't have to spend all your time watching every twitch of your hook