I live with a yarn thief (bit of a rant)

[ankey]

Some of you know that my family is not supportive at all of my crochet hobby so I hide my yarn and crochet stuff from them by keeping it in my apartment while I'm away from home. Last week, my great boyfriend knew that I was having a bad week (I had a test every single day so I was very stressed out and barely got any sleep) so he surprised me by getting me 10 pounds of yarn! I had been telling him earlier that I wanted to buy some yarn to make my little sister an afghan for christmas but haven't had the chance to buy yarn and he had brought me all the Simply Soft yarn I would need to make the afghan along with some novelty yarn.

 

Anyways, I have a roommate who knits a bit but has been completely jealous of my ability to crochet ever since we moved in together. She stared in awe of the yarn when my boyfriend gave it to me even though she said she would is ashamed that I would even want to crochet with "inferior" simply soft yarn. Today, I came home from class 2 hours earlier than usual because a professor had cancelled today's class to find this (click link for a picture) on my roommate's bed.

 

Yes, that is a skein of MY yarn - one of the skeins that my boyfriend bought me so I could make my sister's afghan! I had put it in a drawer I have under my bed, not thinking that she would want to take my inferior yarn... My mistake I guess. I confronted my roommate about it and she claims that she was learning a new, more advanced and superior way to crochet and she didn't have yarn so she was "borrowing" mine. First of all, crocheting without a hook and instead the two yellow tubular things in the picture?? That's new to me... Also, now she refuses to give me back the skein of yarn! She said "I was going to undo my work and give the yarn back to you but now I don't feel like it", she also said that simply soft solids are no dyelot so why would it be such a big deal for me to go out and buy another skein? Ugh, I know it's no dyelot yarn but that is definitely not the point here! I was hoping to be civilized and work it out, but that hasn't worked and she keeps the yarn with her at all times! I've already moved all my yarn to my boyfriend's apartment along with all of my crochet supplies but what should I do to get my yarn back?? I don't want to trouble anyone else by asking them to get me another skein...

 

Thanks for reading my rant too - you all are the best!

[MOBOGAL]

GASP! That is HORRIBLE. I would be furious. How rude and thoughtless...and you know if you hadn't caught her, she would never have fessed up. Do you pay rent? If so, I'd tell her if she doesn't give it back, you are taking the $$ the yarn cost out of the rent you owe her. Just gently remind her that she would not appreciate it if you "borrowed" her knitting needles/supplies etc. Good luck with this sticky situation

[christinascrochethaven]

Oh my, I'm so sorry!

That's such a difficult situation!

I'm not very good with advice with roommates...So I wish you all the luck and so sorry about it.

 

Perhaps give her a bill for the yarn....??????

[mizduck]

I know it's mean, but fight fire with fire. Take it back!! And I would find a new roomate. If she would sink so low to steal yarn from you that she thinks is "inferior," there's no telling what else she'll take.... Sounds like she's a . Good luck and we've got your back.

[Melibean223]

you definatly don't want advice from me today, cause all I can say is kick her lol. But I'm sorry your room mate sucks

[jollyrancher418]

Eeeek! That's horrible! My freshman year of college I had a roommate who mistaked a pair of my shoes for hers and instead of admitting to the mistake, just acted like nothing happened. I found them in her closet (my shoe size is a size smaller than hers and her pair was in there too). I was livid and I should have taken matters into my own hands but I just ignored it because they only cost me $15. However, if she had taken my yarn, I would have been much more upset.

[JCB]

In order to borrow something there has to be an agreement between two persons that the item will be borrowed. Since there was no agreement... she stole it, plain and simple. I think it's totally outrageous that she thinks she is somehow entitled to your property. It's not hers to decide whether or not to return it to you. Whether there's a dye lot or not is totally irrelevant... why should you need to be in a position to have to replace something that was yours to begin with. At the very least, she should either return it or replace it for you.

 

I realize you have to live with this person and you probably don't want an all-out confrontation. Personally, I could no longer trust someone with her kind of attitude. You shouldn't have to hide stuff in your own home. Perhaps when things simmer down in a few days you could approach her and explain that you have just exactly the amount of yarn for your project and you either need it back or she needs to replace it for you.

 

Good luck... these kinds of situations can be so sticky!

 

Joan

[nightowl]

What a thoroughly obnoxious and dishonest person! First she "borrows" your yarn without asking. . . then says she would have given it back (as if you want to make your sister's gift with yarn that's been used!) but now "doesn't feel like it". . . and says you should go out and buy another skein?

 

I agree with Mobogal, except I wouldn't even ask for the yarn back again. Just deduct the cost (plus the cost of any travelling you'd have to do to get a new skein) from your rent or share of a bill. And I'd start looking for a new roommate. If she feels free to help herself to other people's stuff whenever she feels like it, what will she take next?

[theworm]

Everyone else has said it better than I could. She's a thief! She has no respect for you. She lies. She's not a nice person. It is your yarn - she had no right to use it. Take it back. If you can get her out of your apt, or move to another, think about it because if she'll take your yarn, what else will she take. It's not really about the yarn or the $ the yarn cost. It's the fact that she's a liar and a thief, and whether or not you ever thought of her as a friend, she clearly has no respect for you.

I'm so sorry!

[ErinLindsey]

If it had been my yarn that was "borrowed", I would have "borrowed" her knitting needles and stabbed her with them...and then I've have strangled her with the knitted cord she was making with the "borrowed" yarn. (looks like it was long enough to use as a garrotte)

 

This is the first rule in crochet... dont mess with another person's stash!

 

If you cant move right away, invest in a lock for your bedroom door. My boyfriend has room mates that he would trust with his life, but he still locks his bedroom door so that no one goes in there and messes with his guns.

 

If you put a lock on the door and the room mate gets all offended by it, that's her problem. You have to protect your stuff and a lock would be a simple and inexpensive solution. Doorknob locks are easy to install. You can buy a keyed doorknob, put it on your door and then you can put the old doorknob back on the door just before you move out just in case the landlord has a problem with you changing things.

 

I put a locking doorknob on my door when my sister visited last year. (she likes to snoop...hate that!) I used to take the doorknobs apart at the house I grew up in when I was little. (when I was like 5...I was an inquisitive child) So changing the doorknob was easy.

 

Start looking for a new apartment too.

[tiggerhale]

I'm speachless. Clearly this roommate of yours has a respect problem. I agree if she does this with yarn, clearly one of your treasured possessions, what is next?

 

I'd get the you-know-what-out of there! I have 3 kids and they know not to touch Mommy's crochet! She's an adult and doesn't respect boundaries and other peoples stuff - pppplease!

[angelfire]

that is unforgivable:angry ...first saying that it is inferior...if it is so inferior tell her to buy to the great yarn:yarn at the great prices and she can have your "inferior yarn to "play with". I don't understand how someone can be so mean.

I feel for you and you shouldn't have to hide your yarn and supplies...it makes you happy and your boyfriend is great to support your habit.

[Yammy]

I second the lock on the door if you can't move or find another roommate.

 

This is just totally unacceptable.

[CraftyShannon]

In college, I had a complusive liar and thief as a roommate that the college knew about because she stole stuff from her former roommate too. Yet, she was a star athlete, so they wouldn't do anything. It took my mom driving up there and warning my roommate and the resident director that if they did not get all my stuff back AND get my roommate out of my room by the time I came back from the weekend, we would bypass the school police since no one was doing anything and report this as a crime to the real police. Let's just say they didn't want Little Star Athlete to get bad publicity, so they quickly took care of my problem.

 

What I don't understand is, why did you not take your yarn and undo her work when you took this picture? Unless she's physically got her hands on it, go get it. She's probably jealous that your boyfriend was so nice to you, yet that doesn't give her the right to take your stuff. If she's so willing to steal, if it were me, I'd go to her wallet and take the money to buy another skein of yarn. I don't think stealing is right, but I know how "violated" my roommate felt when I rummaged through her stuff to find all the stuff she stole from me. Gives them a taste of their own medicine.

 

You should not have to hide all your stuff, because if she thinks a $2 skein of yarn is okay, what is she going to take next? If you are in a dorm situation, I'd talk to the RD about getting out of the room. If you are in an apartment or something, it might be harder getting rid of her but I would get out ASAP.

[falfal115]

that is a very disrespectful thing for her to do.. and since YOUR boyfriend bought it for YOU.. she has no right to not give it back.. I agree with getting a lock .. if you guys share a room then a chest with a lock..

 

If I were you all of her yarn will become part of my stash

 

I would definitely take back the skein as she cant prove she bought it.. either way... she might be too "ashamed" to admit to others that she even used it... for her to say that you should buy another skein is just out of spite.. have you known her for long??

[scc51055]

From what you have said i take it you are in a dorm. Go to your RA and also inform your roommate that if the yarn and any other items she has "borrowed" are not returned you will take the matter to campus police and take it to the board that oversees students ( i forget what it is called but the one that takes care of honesty and cheating)! she could be expelled over a skein of yarn.

 

My daughter had roommate problems her first year. After that she was an ra and had a room to herself as a perk. she was always furious when she found clothes and such being used by the roommates....

 

Good luck getting it returned, if she doesnt want to return it tell her to at least give you the money to replace it!

[faedragon]

She "was going to give it back" but now isn't? Since when does someone who is caught stealing something have a choice of whether or not to return what they stole? And that is what she did, she stole your yarn. The fact that it is "no dye lot" has nothing at all to do with anything. Don't "borrow" something of her's, that only puts you down on her level, but take your yarn back....don't ask her, she didn't ask you...the yarn is yours, so just take it back...then find a way to put your yarn under lock and key.

[MidnightStorms]

The joys of roommate living.. I've had experiences like this in the past with roommates.. where they decide your pots and pans (you know the ones that your parents gave you for your birthday? those) are theirs and they'll just pack them up and take them with them. (I quickly put an end to that!!)

 

You totally need to defend your borders. As others have said, get a lock for your door. It may make her angry, but who cares? You're not paying your rent and bills so that someone can rip you off. It'll give you peace of mind, and that is priceless.

 

She's obviously not mature enough to be able to hold a civilized conversation about the matter (she isn't exhibiting mature behavior. I'd give it back but now I don't feel like it? !?).

 

Its an awful feeling when you can't even trust the people you live with, but it's always a good eye opener (At least it was for me) that not everyone you come across in life is trustworthy.

 

I really hope that you two can work this out before it gets uglier. Good luck!!

[Yelutci]

Wow I'm sorry you have to live with a thief! It's a sad state of affairs when someone can decide to keep an item they convinced themselves they were only going to "borrow",just because they got caught. I hope your future includes people who have morals and know how to live by them.

[beth eathorne]

i am so sorry your roommate does not respect your yarn stash, sounds like she is ashamed about getting caught red handed and would rather lie than admit she is wrong. i also would put a lock of some kind on your door for short term solution. by the way i think you have a wonderful boyfriend and should be very thankful he remembers what is important to you.

[Shell]

I know you're upset about the yarn, and trust me I would be too, but how about the hunting through your room to find it? That is a pure invasionof your own personal space! Ask many of the mums here and I bet they don't let their kids in their room, let alone anyone else!! The yarn is the object you're arguing over, but the issue is more about her lack of respect. She went into your room and "borrowed" without permission, then she had the nerve to tell you to buy another skein when she should be the one replacing it. He attitude stinks! Go raid her room and steal something of hers, see how she likes it (no, don't actually stoop to her level *lol* but you get my point!)

[Samio]

Everyone else has said what I was going to, but I would have grabbed her knitting needles and poked her in the eyes with them - sorry a little bit moody today. She is definately not someone I would want to live with. Good luck

[DEMET]

Hi,

I Think You Do Not Have To Deal With This, Ask Her To Move Or, Start Looking Another Place With New Person. You Dont Know What Else She Has Been Taking From You, You Just Happen To Come Home Earlier Than Usual. She May Be Taken Many Things From You And You May Are Thinking That You Lost Or Misplaced Them. If The Person Steels, Get Away From Them

 

Demet

[losingmymind2]

I have to agree Samio, I would have stuck her with the knitting needles too. I wonder how much else she's 'borrowed'? I will lend or give someone anything, but if they arrange a 'self-help loan' forget it, no more miss nice girl.

[Tapanga]

Scissors anyone?

I would have cut up the skein before letting her keep it.

So she keeps it with her all the time? Fine.

I am sure you can find her stash. Pick out one her nicest skeins and make yourself a dishcloth. Or a swiffer cover. Or a toilet seat cozy. Let her see you making it too. If she asks, just say you wanted to try a new pattern and since she was getting all huffy about you aren't going to give it back after all. See what miss priss says to that.

And if she still gives you fits, just roll your eyes whenever she talks to you. That drives people crazy.