I feel terrible. . . what to do?

[nightowl]

Hello everyone

 

I feel really terrible. . .

 

I belong to an online crochet list where there's a member I rather liked from afar. Anyway, in the course of her answering someone's question, it came out that though she loves to work with very fine thread, in Brazil where she lives she can't get anything smaller than #8 perle cotton in colours. I remembered I had a dozen or so balls of DMC #80 for tatting (which I haven't touched for several years now), and emailed to ask if she'd like them. She was absolutely thrilled, and I went out and posted them same day. The Post Office said it would take 5 days to get there, so I told B to expect the package towards the end of the following week. She was so excited.

 

And I felt great too, because. . well, normally I don't leave the house for months at a time, because I have both a physical problem that means I can't walk far and "mental problems" -- social phobia, panic attacks and depression. I especially hate going to the PO because there's nowhere I can sit when I get wobbly. But I forced myself to go because I so wanted to get this package off to her, and I managed it. I got home exhausted but on a high, amazed and pleased with myself.

 

Well, that was 2 weeks ago today, and I haven't heard anything from her, so I presume the package hasn't arrived. She posted to the list yesterday, so she hasn't gone away or anything, and I know she would have thanked me if she had received the thread. There's no way of tracking the package from here.

 

I don't know what to do. . . I feel absolutely awful at letting her down when she was so looking forward to getting this thread. I'm afraid she'll think I never sent it after I had promised it to her. . . I keep wondering what can have happened; I made specially sure to reinforce the puffy with tape on *every* side and the flap, in case PO machinery chewed it up, and the balls of thread were in a zipped plastic bag inside. And my return address was on the outside and inside, on a postcard.

 

I've been thinking of just buying a set of new thread at my online supplier and asking them to mail it out to her. Of course that will be expensive whereas the original stuff was just lying around unused, but I feel so guilty. What do you think I should do?

 

--

Nowl

[donnalynn2]

Well she should have notified you if she rcv'd it. I'd send her a message and ask her if she got it or not. I wouldn't go out of the way to purchase more thread. You did what you said you'd do, it's not like she's out anything. Sometimes things get lost in the mail. But before doing anything, contact her....

[smyz64]

I agree with Donna, I would just ask. Also, did the post office not give you a confirmation number? I guess that would depend on how it was sent, but sometimes they will track it for you.

[theworm]

you have nothing to feel badly about! You went out of your way to do something nice! I would just send her a message and ask her if she received it - let her know when you sent it and you hope she likes it.

I've done that before. Sometimes things are just late in the mail. Especially overseas - all sorts of customs checks.

I had someone crochet me a personalized bookmark once and it got lost in the mail. I felt awful because she worked hard on it - but its really is the thought that counts. Don't spend money on more. I hope it still shows up.

You're a good friend.

[Jo19]

Hi Nightowl - first let me congratulate you on your BIG achievement in getting to the PO. I know from experience how difficult that is, as I have similar problems to you. WELL DONE. I too agree with Donna, contact the member first (perhaps privately) to find out if she received it or not. If not, then ring your local PO, and ask them what to do (or be very very brave and go to the PO yourself). They may be able to help. It's NOT your fault! These things do happen.

 

HUGS

[Katchkan]

Be a little more patient. Over seas shipping can take a while even if they say 5-7 days, It isn't always so. I absolutely hate shipping overseas anymore. Not because of the expense, but the suspense. Will it make it? If so When? Give it six weeks before you start to truly panic.

I would email this person and let her know your concerns and ask her please to let you know asap so you can have peace of mind. She will more than understand.

[Cuddlefish]

You know, I mailed a square to Drew several weeks ago, and it only just arrived the other day. I'd give it a little time, sometimes letters and parcels apparently go on mysterious detours before they make it to their destination. Two weeks isn't enough to get worried about a parcel that has to make it from England to Brazil. Please don't worry yet.

[Chiscrochetcrazy]

You shouldn't feel bad just give it more time. I know things can get lost in the mail I've gotten empty packages a few times My hubby never got a couple of packages it just happens. It's not your fault:hug

[mythunderbird]

i agree with the rest. first off i too would like to congratulate you for being brave enough to go to the post office in the first place. i bet that felt awesome didn't it? i shippe a member here christmas ornaments and so far she has not recieved them yet, and this was back in november i shipped them. so please be patient and just let her know you sent it (privavtly) and also would she please let you know as soon as possible that it was recieved, i too kathy am beginning to hate over seas mail, but since one of my best friends here on the forum lives in australia i guess thats the breas LOL. take care sweetie and try and have patience alright? and i would not spend any money on any more. huggggs and hope we can chat soon:hug :hug

[losingmymind2]

Congratulations on making it out to the post office! What a considerate thing to do for your friend. Mail seems to more often than not take the scenic route between two places. My secret pal was told her package would take 3 days, and it took over a week. I know that packages going thru customs can take much longer. Let your friend know something is on the way and ask her to let you know when it shows up as you are anxious to see how it fared.

[snugsmontreal]

i get packages from other countries regularly since my friends and family live in a different one than myself... and it is regular to talk 3-4 weeks if it is even remotely busy at customs, which you can never really know so dont even worry yet, i bet you anything it is just sitting on someones desk in a customs office waiting for someone to look at/through it

[ReneeH]

Firstly, I want to congratulate you on making your way to the post office. You must feel so accomplished and proud! I can well imagine how much courage it took for you to do that, which makes your act of kindness even greater. And I guess I just want to echo every one else's sentiments about mailing things overseas. I mail things to Britain frequently from Canada and although the postal workers assure me the package will arrive in five to seven days, it usually takes two to three weeks. So, have heart, your package may still arrive, albeit a bit late, I'm sure your friend will understand.

[Hello Again]

i get packages from other countries regularly since my friends and family live in a different one than myself... and it is regular to talk 3-4 weeks if it is even remotely busy at customs, which you can never really know so dont even worry yet, i bet you anything it is just sitting on someones desk in a customs office waiting for someone to look at/through it

 

I agree completely. Brazil is a country which is very developed in some regions, and very rural in others. And, remember, your address might not have been formatted in a way that was completely familiar to local delivery people. For example, in some countries they put the name last, instead of first.

 

Also, bear in mind, Brazil is a very large country. I have had packages take 3 or 4 weeks just going to California from New York! I would not call your package "late" until at least 6 weeks had passed. Your Brazilian friend is probably thinking this way too, which is why she hasn't commented on it yet. I predict it will get there in its own good time.

 

Regardless of whether the package arrives, you did a very nice thing, and I'm sure your friend knows you sent the package in good faith.

[btpsmom]

I sent a package to South America and it took 3 months to get there...

so don't panic yet!!!!

 

Cheryl

[crochetdiva]

Don't feel badly at all! It took my parcel 90 days to go from Canada to Texas....I still don' t know why. But the important thing is it arrived. Good for you for your expedition!!! and thoughtfulness!!!

[Pink]

Great job on getting to the PO, that is an achievement in itself! I'm from SE England and know the queue (line to most of you guys here!) can be way out the door. Don't give up on the package arriving yet, my parents (in England) sent DH and I something for our first anniversary and it took fourteen months to arrive, according to the postmarks it had vacationed in Tenerife and Cuba!

[crochetingmomof4]

I am sure it is just delayed. I bet it will get there before too long!

[MimiFL]

Ditto. Very kind thing you did.

 

I mailed a layette earlier this year, anxiously awaiting word that my cousin had gotten it. I waited. And I waited. And then I waited some more. Finally, after more than a month, when I was about to email her and ask (which I really didn't want to do, as it was a surprise), I got a note in the mail saying she liked it! From experience, letters are very fast (about 4 days to Europe) but parcels can take ages.

 

Hope you hear from her soon!

[Chrome Kitty]

I agree you should mention how long ago you mailed it and how long they said it would take. You could say you were just curious to see how close they were on their time estimate. It probably is just taking longer than the PO expected, but I don't think it would be out of line to ask her. If you offered to send it to her and she said "Sure, I'd like that. Thank you.", she may think that she already thanked you. But Miss Manners would disagree and so would I. Some people don't realize it's rude to let a gift go unthankedfor (I made that word up, can you tell? ).

[JCB]

Hi...

 

What a wonderful, selfless thing you did by putting aside your own troubles to do something for someone else. I agree with everyone else... it is probably still enroute. Sometimes things get hung up in customs.

 

Just e-mail your friend and tell her when you sent it and to be on the look out for it. I'm sure she'll let you know when she receives it.

 

Joan

[nightowl]

Wow, guys, I couldn't believe it when I checked the thread and saw all these kind replies! Thank you all *so very much* for your support -- I know I do obsess about things, chew them over and over and worry when I should just, as you all said, give it more time. . . What was really making me feel bad was the thought of letting her down after she'd been so excited. I've just joined a RAOK group and if anything I send for that goes missing, it won't be so bad, because the recipient won't have been expecting anything; but of course I had to tell B, in order to ask for her address. . .

There isn't any way the PO here can track the package, but as several people said, it could be delayed in Customs or even on the delivery after reaching Brazil -- I don't know how far from the capital she lives. I'll try to be patient a little longer.

 

Thank you especially to all those who congratulated me on my trek up the Amazon to the Post Office; it's marvellously comforting to feel you understand.

You're very special people, and I'm proud to be a villager. ***Thank you***

[sakurasaku]

Nowl, I'm a little late in posting this, but I think what you did was not only kind-hearted, but very brave! Way to go

 

I agree with others that it could take quite a long time for something to get to somewhere in Brazil. It takes 5 days under the BEST of circumstances (from one large city in a country with a very good postal system to another large city in a same kind of country, and if there is no weekend in-between and you are lucky, etc.) when sending packages overseas. I'm sure it will get there at some point.

[Merlot]

I just wanted to give you a of encouragement. Congratulations for making the big step to get to the post office. I'm sure it's just slow getting there.

[lizc]

way to go!

[terrijo]

I've had problems with the US mail so I send everything with all the added extras....the recipient has to sign for it, it's registered, etc. I even throw some insurance on it. The added money is worth the un-needed stress to me. The US mail also has tracking numbers and you can go online and find out where the thing is. I had a Mary Kay lady send me a package that to this day (4 years later) has not shown. She just popped it in the mail and so now I'm wondering if she even sent it and I'm sure she's wondering if I actually got it. That was "the package that changed the way I mail". Also, my sister lived in California and sent pics of her kids. The youngest was 6 months. When the pictures arrived the youngest had just turned 2. The postmark even had the date she originally mailed them. So funny.

Hope this all works out and the package does finally arrive. My aunt lives in Mexico and she says it's not worth the bother of sending anything because she probably won't get it for a long time. She runs a program in Puerta Villarta that feeds the children that live in the dump. I make baby blankets and stocking caps so she has something for the babies born there. She comes up here every 5-6 months and takes my stuff and other donations back with her rather than having me send it. She tells me that most of the time the only blanket they have is the one she's given them. So a little yarn and a little time can make a difference.

Well, that's not what this post is about!!! Sorry.

Anyway, when mailing I always try to cover all the bases.