Stash busted by spouse

[mudpie]

Lowrancer, I don't understand why you didn't just immediately contact the church and tell them that there had been a mistake. Certainly, they would have understood and returned the yarn to you.

[origami]

Lowrancer, I don't understand why you didn't just immediately contact the church and tell them that there had been a mistake. Certainly, they would have understood and returned the yarn to you.

 

You know, I went back and re-read the original post and he said he has yarn in his truck and at work and there was also yarn in their living room -- and I'm willing to believe that the yarn in these locations probably is more than a couple skeins.

 

Like I said before, his wife probably should have talked to him about it and gotten his permission first to donate the yarn, but at the same time, 37 boxes of yarn is a LOT of yarn! And he does have $100 per month yarn allowance, so I think the best course of action is to just let that yarn go, figuring that it will probably go toward some lovely charity projects and actually get used. And he can use his yarn allowance to buy some lovely new yarns and start the yarnstash all over again. And this time, I'd probably recommend using a small percentage of that yarn allowance to buy a storage unit. 37 tubs of yarn takes up a LOT of space and maybe his wife was feeling truly oppressed by the vast storehouse of yarn.

 

Not saying what she did is right, but just trying to see both sides.

[MaryPat]

Lowrancer, I don't understand why you didn't just immediately contact the church and tell them that there had been a mistake. Certainly, they would have understood and returned the yarn to you.

I kind of agree with you. Seems unlikely that a Church could get rid of all 37 boxes and 18 trash bags within a day. Unless the Church immediately sold it to a thrift consolidator. There's a huge (K-Mart sized) thrift shop here in Maryland that is constantly putting our merchandise. They seem to have more employees than Walmart. There's 16 registers constantly going. I found out their merchandise comes by buying from local charities. People donate the things to charity and the charity then sells it to the consolidator. Easier than running their own thrift shop or rummage sale.

[Lowrancer]

I kind of agree with you. Seems unlikely that a Church could get rid of all 37 boxes and 18 trash bags within a day. Unless the Church immediately sold it to a thrift consolidator. There's a huge (K-Mart sized) thrift shop here in Maryland that is constantly putting our merchandise. They seem to have more employees than Walmart. There's 16 registers constantly going. I found out their merchandise comes by buying from local charities. People donate the things to charity and the charity then sells it to the consolidator. Easier than running their own thrift shop or rummage sale.

 

If I were to do that it would cause tension between her and the church and would be seen as me embarasing her... better to just let it go.

 

[Chiscrochetcrazy]

I have to say what I see here in your relationship is she is treating you like crap you need to stand up for yourself. My gosh neither me nor my hubby would ever do that to each other we always talk about everything before we do it.As DR Phil says you teach people how to treat you

[mbcabbie]

While I agree she had no right whatsoever to dispose of your stuff, and that I would absolutely KILL my SO for doing anything even remotely like that....

 

 

I have to ask... You have a $100/month allowance for yarn? I envy you, man. Do you know what I could do with $100 a month in yarn? Sheesh!

 

I have to sneak my yarn in - I have to swear I had it as "leftovers" as each new project pops up. "No, honey, its leftover yarn" - "some project I never finished." OK, so I am a liar, but what doesn't hurt any one, doesn't hurt anyone. Right?

 

I have to do the same thing with my plants... ("No, honey, that's BEEN here... you've just never noticed it. That is a hoya australis shipped directly to me from an internet friend in Hawaii. It has sentimental value"... ")

 

I'm sorry, but people who share their lives together should also share consideration for each other.

 

Woe is me... Woe is you... Woe is all of us.

[CarolL]

My husband and I were having this talk tonight before I read this post. I have quite a stash going on and since I have found Smileys I just may have a bigger one. He's not happy, not mad just doesn't understand my need for yarn.

I'm so sorry Lowrancer for your loss, but I had to laugh when you said you had more at work and in the truck. I just about rolled out of my chair. Its funny because us crocheters and knitters are all yarn obsessed. Some yarn is just not enough I really don't think all the yarn in a Hobby Lobby is enough to satisfy the need for our yarn addiction. I personally want to own a yarn shop here in my town for that very reason. I want to be surrounded with yarn, all types of yarn. I don't know where this obsession started but I'm sure glad it did.

[earthwhisper]

I guess you learned a couple of valuable lessons...

 

1. Never leave your stash in open site...especially in the living room taking up the place where furniture should go. If you must collect a stash (hord it in private...after all, doesn't "stash" just sound secretive?)

 

2. Crochet more...after all....if you crocheted more, you would have less stash.

 

Hopefully all of that yarn will go to a good cause and you can just think of that as your holiday charitable contribution of the year. Your wife probably doesn't think of the "value" of yarn, like you do...I swear with us fiber freaks...there is an emotional quality to yarn. To normal people, yarn is just a bigger form of string.

[Sakkasie]

If my ex-husband had ever done that to me I would have:

 

1) Taken out a very large life insurance policy on him.

 

2) Hired a hitman to kill him.

 

3) Gone to Michaels with a nice big U-Haul.

 

April

[lily]

I realize that this all happened a month ago, but I have to chime in anyway.

 

I am married to one of the biggest jerks around. Don't get me wrong, I love the man, but he isn't exactly gentle, or demonstratively caring, overly supportive, or respectful. And believe me, I could go on and on about what a butthead he can be. (I sorta like him that way, so I'm not really complaining... more trying to get a point across)

 

HOWEVER. he would NEVER EVER do something like this to me. The worst he would do (and has) is to move one of my bags or baskets or boxes to the middle of the floor or wherever it needed to go to get out of his way, grumble a little bit, do whatever it was he needed to do in the first place, and then leave the yarn in question right where it is as he grumbles, walks off, and makes some sort of snotty comment about it.

That, my new friends, is bad enough. really.

 

I think that she was showing a great lack of respect in doing this.... and you know what? I don't care if you were gone a lot and didn't have a chance to talk to her.

 

WHat she should have done is left your stuff alone until she had a chance to talk to you about it.

If it couldn't wait, well... that's what phones and pieces of paper are for.

 

This isn't coming from just another yarn-aholic. this is from a WIFE's perspective, too.

My Hubby had fishtank stuff and golf stuff all over the place here. I will rearrange it, put it in storage, etc. But I would NEVER get rid of 'his stuff' without asking him first.

 

Matter of fact, my ability to get a huge yarn stash growing here is because of all of his stuff laying around.

 

I would definitely take her off your 'making stuff for list'

and pardon the irreverent pun, but god forbid you embarrass her at her church by reclaiming your stuff. sheesh.

 

 

I hope you do go ahead and build yourself a shed or something for your new stash.

 

and by the way, I would kill to have a 100 a month yarn budget. lol

[CrochetMonkey]

Yikes, that was a pretty harsh move on your wife's part, IMHO . However, I am thinking that you must have been warned of this somehow beforehand that this was coming. It sounds like your wife was really tired of having yarn lying around all over the place. Maybe in the future, as you replenish your stash, you can use the $100.00 to buy a big plastic storage cabinet - these are pretty cheap, and you can keep all of your yarn neatly stored away out of sight while you are not using it. This way, you will be able to keep your truck and house cleaner, as well as keep better track of what yarn you already have to avoid buying more than you need (of course, I am soooo guilty of this last one myself). The idea of purchasing a storage bin might go over better if you have your wife come with you when you pick one out at the store. Just a thought.

[susandoty48]

I think I will find new places for my own stash now, scares me!!

[Cuddlefish]

I would cry. Then I would plot revenge. Even though people live together, their belongings are still individual. I don't see how the one can just dispose of the other one's things. It would cause a major uproar if anybody did that to me...

 

But I don't think my guy would do that.

[jacqui]

Oh darl, i feel for you. Come live in OZ ,my hubby would never dare do that to me. There is a nice house next door for rent and its huge and got 4 sheds in lovely condition with your name on it.Just say the word,nice neighbours to and across the road from a bowls club/RSL (returned servicemens league) perfect for you.I would guard your stash for you to! Hope you make her aware that its just not done a mans stash is sacred. Shes got her religion you got yours, hey maybe you could use that to get around your IRS and get paid to stash.! Instead of prayer requests you have yarn requests! Hope your hand is better soon and then you can BOP her one lol only kidding.

[mbcabbie]

Personally, i'd kill her (or him) if I were you.

[prpl4me]

Just go buy more !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I would be furious. Just let her know what goes around comes around.

[jaishree]

I think I would have considered it grounds for homicide.. divorce at the barest minimum...I think the idea mooted by someone of taking away her xmas presents is really good.. add to it her presents for the next b'day... unless she replaces everything..

[jaishree]

so sorry for your loss.. I get everytime my Hubbie walks into my craft room... I only get $80 a month...

 

Can you guys see my colour? I'm PEA GREEN... $80 is Rs3680 $100 is Rs.4600.. that is more than i could spend in an entire year!.. and more than the value of my entire yarn/thread stash....

 

I would certainly have resorted to homicide....

[hayhook]

Here it is.

[weenah]

oh man, when i saw this i knew it would hurt to read it and it did. that really, really, really sucks! you should tell her you are an artist, a fiber artist and your medium is yarn! your creativity is being stifled, choked, starved! well, thats what i would do.

[theworm]

Wow.

I'm not sure if I'm more shocked at the fact that she just gave it all away or at the sheer enormity of your stash!

 

I'm so sorry. I know I would feel violated if my hubby gave away my things, but I'm guessing there were some conversations about yarn that came before this. don't get me wrong - I don't think what she did was right, but I also know that if my hubby had 37 boxes of hobby stuff (in his case motorcycle stuff) in the living room, I wouldn't be pleased.

 

Perhaps you can make a yarn closet somewhere where your stash can be safe and organized, and where she can have the living room as a living room and not a storage place.

 

I'm sorry for your yarn loss, and hope that the church put it to good use.

[theworm]

Perhaps you can make a yarn closet somewhere where your stash can be safe and organized, and where she can have the living room as a living room and not a storage place.

 

 

 

On second thought -

the tubs alone are 444 cubic feet of yarn - thats not counting the bags and the stuff in the truck.

A closet won't do - you're going to need a spare bedroom.

[angieInCA]

 

I told my DH what happened and he even said, "That's just wrong!"

Thank God, now I know he would dream of doing the same thing

[silkymist]

I just saw this and had to post...first, dude you are the master of of all hoarders . I'm sorry but this was just totally thoughtless of her. Has she no feelings? Least she could have done, was discuss it with you when you were available. I know 2 wrongs don't make a right, but I certainly would have cleaned out some of her belongings. I suggest you let her know that what she did is unforgiveable, and she needs to grow up. Now, since it is now after the fact, you need to go purchase a storage shed or 2 or 3...or have another room added on! Keep all your stuff in it and locked. If she ever gets a notion like this again, boot her out the door..no questions asked!

[QueenslandRainbow]

I thought my stash in an entire cupboard that the door won't shut too was good!

My God, does she know how much it would have cost? If it was my hubby he would be living at the church that he donated it too I think you have every right to feel violated. She should have discussed it with you first.

However look at the bright side - You can now go on a wool spending spree