Stash busted by spouse

[Linda]

I think that "revenge" would be more than fair in this case. What does she treasure most? How would it look at the local Goodwill store????

[Cathy W]

ok she is in the process of redeeming herself here I get to keep my 100 dollar a month yarn alotment and she brought a tax reciept to the tune of 12 grand..... so it may turn out worth it.

 

You realize that at $100/month, it's going to take you 10 years to replace the stash, and that's assuming you don't use any of it in the process and prices don't go up? At least they put what was probably a fair value on the yarn.

 

My condolences on your loss. I can't believe she did that with no warning - I've gotten spouse-grouse about my UFO's, but generally in the form of "You're not buying anything else until you finish something!" (He just doesn't understand, I tell ya.)

[shelain22]

You know, the first time I clicked into this post, I couldent even finish reading what you wrote, I just closed out my screen and pushed back from the computer like, if I read this it will happen to me. I knew I would post but I need to see what everyone else had to say first. First of all is she reading these? I know I have posted things here and had my dh read them when it was something we debated, (like me holding my baby to much ,Yall remember that?) If she is dh close your eyes, you may not like this.... How could you!?!?!? Do you have any Idea what you did? Do you coillect anything? How would you feel if you found it gone one day and he was waveing a reciept around in your face saying :look hunny, a tax break!, but dont worry hunny, I'll give you money every month and you can replace it" How would you feel? Just because his yarn is not sentimental,( and by that I mean not priceless or a family heirloom) It is just as coveted!Did the people you gave it to even crochet or knit? If it bothered you that much you should have involved him in the destashing process, I was talking to a friend in chat the other night and I said that one day I want to be able to send yarn to everyone on this forum that mentions that they dont have the money to buy yarn....Not to long ago dh and I were going through rough times financially and there was not a scrap of yarn in the house, It was so depressing and then one day there was a yarnfairy package at the post office.... I just sat in my truck and cried, I was so happy! Do you know what its like not to even be able to pay 2.17 fo ra skien of red heart SS?Luckily since then dh has gotten a better job and my little stash has slowly grown, but Even though dh and I have a great marriage, and 4 kids, I would probably leave him if he did anything like that! I can look at every skien of yarn I have and say " this dear friend sent me tnat, or I got that at this sale, or that is going to be the best shawl for an x-mas gift. Hunny, please dont ever do this again! And lowrancer, hunny, I feel for you and heres a big yarn stashing hug just for you!!! :hug :hug :hug

[MaryPat]

Wow, I'm sorry about the situation.

 

I'm going to change the subject a bit and just say that you may have set a record for a stash. If the 37 tubs at least 4 foot sq (2x2) is at least 148 sq feet. Doesn't even consider the trash bags. That's larger than my living room. I've been feeling guilty about using my 3rd bathroom as a crochet closet, but I can still put everything in 2 laundry baskets when necessary.

[mamaoso]

so sorry for your loss.. I get everytime my Hubbie walks into my craft room... I only get $80 a month...

[crochetdiva]

I am totally not telling my hubby about that! It would only give him ideas. He always jokingly threatens (I see no humour in it) to empty my craft room and donate it all. However, he is all wind. Man, you had ALOT of yarn!!!! Is the church having a sale...you could buy back your favorite....or go and tell them it is stolen property and you want it returned....what are they going to do...arrest your wife. LOL

[snbarclay]

You poor thing! I feel your pain! My hubby and I are always arguing over how much yarn I have! It's supposed to stay in the guest bedroom and never come out but sometimes it finds it's way into the living room. I know if I let it get too bad he'd do the same thing!

 

 

I am with you donnalynn . My hubby is the same way about my yarn , only I have a corner he allows some to be in. I would just scream and clean out all his hobby stuff and sit it by the road if he did that to me .

[badrhinogillett]

That is a major loss, my deepest condolences! From your profile, it says that you like to make clothing for your wife.... I have a running list in my mind of people for whom I am crocheting or want to crochet . The list is ever changing. In this situation, I'd say that your wife gets removed from the list for a while.

[13bodies]

How incredibly arrogant and disrespectful of her. If you cleaned out her closet and donated her clothes to charity, she'd be screaming six ways from Sunday no matter how much of a tax break you got.

 

If anyone did that with any of my things I think I'd have a very difficult time forgiving them, let alone trusting them again.

 

Just terrible.

[Becks]

Wow, this is my worst nightmare. First I'd be... followed by and then great followed by a possible temper tantrum and more .

 

There are some things you just don't mess with. And someone's STASH is one of them!

[Ambersafghans]

oh my, did you just say lowrancer, that you get $100 a month on yarn, and the tax break from the yarn she donated was $12,000.00!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Are you kidding!!!!! You could have literally opened your own store!!!!!!!!!!

What kind of yarn didn't you have?!

 

What percentage of your whole stash was that?

 

I'm so sorry about this, it's awful. But, here's my two cents to take or leave.

 

If it was my spouse I would first sit down and explain just what that did to me. How much it meant. How much it hurt. And if the spouse is sorry (Oh I didn't know it meant that much to you!! I didn't mean to hurt you. Or, I shouldn't have done it, I was just frusterated with the "mess", I"m sorry)

Then "all" is well and you are short some yarn, but no love and not a marriage. And I can't say pay backs would be a good idea either, more hurt feelings would emerge, and big problems.

 

I'm still reeling at the amount of yarn it was. Any idea how much you paid for it? Hopefully you didn't just break even but made some money.

 

 

Amber

[LibiLou]

Reason #47 Why it's easier to be single.....no one to complain about my stash or to touch it.

[Emily]

$12,000 tax break . . . yarn. Hmm. Yarn, deffinately. People just don't get it.

[Lowrancer]

oh my, did you just say lowrancer, that you get $100 a month on yarn, and the tax break from the yarn she donated was $12,000.00!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Are you kidding!!!!! You could have literally opened your own store!!!!!!!!!!

What kind of yarn didn't you have?!

 

What percentage of your whole stash was that?

 

I'm so sorry about this, it's awful. But, here's my two cents to take or leave.

 

If it was my spouse I would first sit down and explain just what that did to me. How much it meant. How much it hurt. And if the spouse is sorry (Oh I didn't know it meant that much to you!! I didn't mean to hurt you. Or, I shouldn't have done it, I was just frusterated with the "mess", I"m sorry)

Then "all" is well and you are short some yarn, but no love and not a marriage. And I can't say pay backs would be a good idea either, more hurt feelings would emerge, and big problems.

 

I'm still reeling at the amount of yarn it was. Any idea how much you paid for it? Hopefully you didn't just break even but made some money.

 

 

Amber

about 75 % of my total stash and everything from red heart supersaver to antique crochet cotton as far as price some of it i bought recently and amounted to around 500 dollars....(I still have a ton stashed at my fathers house and quite a bit a work and in my truck)

 

Her excuse was that she needed to clean it up to make room for other things and would have asked me except I had not been home in a few weeks other than to sleep after they went to bed and to leave before they woke up.

 

ohh well saturday she will replace some of my thread at hobby loby since they give rainchecks on colors the dont have in stock so let the rebuilding begin... but this time I am going to build a LARGE shed in the back yard to hold it all and that puppy is getting padlocked!

 

of course givin it up a lil more often would help make it worth it.

[kazily]

of course givin it up a lil more often would help make it worth it.

 

uhm I would say she owes you. Tell her to work it off?

 

By the way--what charity did she donate it to? Address? I just want to go "check" on it for you.

 

Seriously, I am so sorry she did that. While this sounds like something that bothered her before now...& should have been discussed & a compromise reached...taking your items (yarn or anything else) and giving it away is very rude of a spouse to do & would seriously undermine trust in the person you live with.

 

"Low" I hope that you guys can work out a mutual agreement on yarn storage. Like you mentioned, maybe an outside bldg. since you stash so much yarn. I love stashing the little yarn I have but if it was that much I think I would understand if hubby got upset about it...I wouldn't like giving any of it up...but I would bite the bullet if he discussed it with me & we agreed together to come up with a solution to gain some square footage back in our house. .

[origami]

I lost 37 2X2X3 tubs of yarn and 18 large trashbags of thread!

 

Okay, maybe you did have too much yarn. She definitely needed to discuss this with you before she gave it away, but I think that's an awfully huge stash of yarn and you probably did need to dispose of some (not all) of it. I am all for people donating to charity and all, but other options might have included letting you sort through it and selling some of it off on Ebay.

 

We have a tendency to buy a lot of books at our house and one way that we keep from getting too cluttered is by taking books we're no longer reading and selling them at the used bookstore for trade credit. Yes, we get books back in trade but we definitely take more in than we bring home. But it helps us keep on top of how many books we have. You might have sold some of the yarn that you're no longer interested in and then bought some fabulous new yarn. You'd still be buying yarn but you'd be destashing too.

 

I think it's great you have $100 per month to spend on yarn. I know I don't even come close to spending that much and I have more yarn right now than I can use. So maybe you just need to start over on your stash but also make sure that you're using what you've got stockpiled. The yarn isn't any good sitting in plastic tubs. You need to use it.

[Chicki]

You need to go in her closet, get all her handbags and shoes and give THEM to charity.

 

 

OMG I would be SO LIVID if my boyfriend did that to me! I would have to throw all of his video games away!

 

At least they went to charity though...good cause and all. If that makes you feel any better!

 

 

~Chicki

[shella85222]

All I can say is -----OMG----

[MarvieN]

My opinion.... take a chunk of that $12,000 and get yourself a nice climate controlled storage unit, pay it up for a year. Then you have a nice safe place to store your stash..... but if you don't want to spend that cash you could always store it with me I promise not to use it *fingers crossed behind back*

 

I'd be livid and I'd stay livid for a very loooooooooong time. But, it's done now and from the sounds of it you aren't out of yarn or anything so I agree with everyone else, rebuild with prettier, better, softer yarn.... at her expense.

[Chiscrochetcrazy]

My hubby has made comments like can't you use some of what you have allready or you can't buy more yarn But we cleaned out all of the closets and he nicley put all my bins of stash in the closet not stacked up so that I could get into each one easily. Maybe it's because he has a Harley a four wheeler, 4 guitars and I let him go hunting or fishing alot I even encourage him to go even though he travels alot and feels bad for leaving the house when he's home.I've trained him well

[crochetlady100]

Oh no that is so bad. I think she should have a least told you what she was going to do, than you would have had time to hide it. I dont know what I would do if my husband did that to me, I know I would be so so so so mad. I dont think she should have done that to you. I guess I am lucky my husband does buy me yarn, last christmas I got alot and of course that is what I am asking for again.

Trish

[whitedtu]

OMG,OMG,OMG,OMG,OMG,OMG,:(OMG,OMG:grump

 

you are the stash king:clap

 

If my hubby did that to me they would have to shoot me to stop me from killing him

[Stacey]

My sympathies. I can't imagine building up that kind of stash and then losing so much of it like that.

 

I'd be livid. But I can't picture DH doing something like that--he knows it's be like if I decided that his lumber and wood scraps and hardware bits were taking up too much room in the garage and got rid of them, you know?

[losingmymind2]

And she's still breathing? I think if he went in my things and threw them out, donated them, whatever; without my permission; there would be war. I don't touch his power toys er tools. I only go into his shed when looking for something he 'forgot' to bring in when we moved. If he ever dared go in my closet...grrrrr (separate bedrooms). You know, she only Needs 2-3 changes of undies, a couple of outfits and a pair of shoes and all.

[tropicallie]

Did this just come out of the blue or had you and your wife had discussions about this in the past? I just can't imagine her doing that unless she was just fed up with the associated clutter and/or room your stash took up. Four years ago, I also had a craft stash that was out of control. When my then fiance gently suggested getting a storage facility for it, I knew I had a problem. We were combining households and stuff just had to go. I have to admit, it was actually a relief to get rid of some of that stuff. I never realized I had so much guilt about all those projects I never finished or even started not to mention the associated $$$$ that went along with those craft supplies that just sat there. Between my husbands hobbies - oil painting and quilting - and my hobbies - beading, sewing, machine embroidery, machine knitting and crocheting - our house would be overrun with stashes again if we didn't keep a handle on it. It was OK in my case because I was the one who made the decision to get rid of that stuff and I made the decision of what stayed and what went. I now work hard at voluntarily keeping my stashes under control. I never want to go back to the volume I previously had. Oh - and I now have a craft room I can actually craft in!