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Terrible Tragedy

yarnlover66

By yarnlover66
in Comfortghans

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yarnlover66 Rising Star

yarnlover66

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Hello everyone. Tragedy has struck my family this weekend......

 

It wasn't uncommon for my brother to call me, my sister or my mom to go check on his wife (my sil) Olivia if he couldn't reach her on the phone while he was at work. See, she has diabetes pretty badly and would sometimes sleep through when she was supposed to get up and eat to keep her sugar at a normal level. Several times we would have to get to the house and find her sleeping in bed or on the couch and have to wake her up enough to get her to drink some orange juice and a jelly sandwich. She'd do that and then test her blood. Once it was back to normal she would always want to call my brother to tell him that she was ok.

 

On Saturday, November 5 my brother called me to go check on my sil because she wasn't answering the phone. I said, sure. I drove to their house 4 blocks away. Went to the front door--it was locked, ran around to the back door and it wasn't. I walked inside, stepped into the kitchen and was calling out her name. She didn't answer, but I heard bath water running. I thought, Oh--she's getting ready to take a bath--I won't disturb her--but let her know that I am here and that she should call my brother. She still didn't answer and when I went around the corner to peak into the bathroom I found her in the tub under the water. OMG, I was so scared--I pulled her out of the water, called 911. They got there and there was nothing they could do for her. She was gone. She had drowned. She was 26 and her birthday is November 19--she would be 27. She and my brother had just celebrated their 3rd anniversary and were expecting their first baby in May.

 

From her autopsy we found out that she blacked out, slid into the water and drowned. The baby was a boy. They were going to name him Samuel Christopher (Christopher after my brother).

 

About 2 weeks ago I had started a baby afghan--one of the charted ones with a teddy bear in the middle, but thought I'd have plenty of time to finish it. I'm only about 1/5 of the way done with it. He told me that it was too bad it wasn't finished that I could have put that in the casket with them. I had seen rememberance blankets out here on the forum, so Monday night around 10 pm I found a wonderful teddy bear square pattern and crocheted that up and added ruffles, ran white ribbons through the edges--tied them into bows into the corners. I stayed up until it was finished and took it to the funeral home with me on Tuesday morning. They were able to wrap the baby in that and was placed in the casket with my sil.

 

My brother is just a wreck. He has been curled up on my mom's couch with Olivia's blanket ever since Saturday. The funeral was today and tonight he has just sat there twirling her wedding ring on his finger. They were so much in love. Perfect for each other.

 

When I was leaving the church tonight I saw 3 knitted prayer shawls in gift bags for my sil's sisters and her mom. People thought I had made them. They were beautiful and made me wonder if there is something that anyone out there could do for my brother as a time of comforting and healing.Perhaps a prayer shawl for him?

 

Thank you so much for reading my lengthy posting.

 

Teresa

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hollier2002 Contributor

hollier2002

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Oh, that is so terrible! I am so sorry for your loss and once you know what you want done, let me know ok. That must have been a terrible experience for yourself also, being the one finding her. That would have really freaked me out, especially being someone so close to me.

 

Just let me know and I will gladly help you with whatever project you need ok .. :hug

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yarnlover66 Rising Star

yarnlover66

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Thank you. It was a horrible horrible experience--finding her. I was surprised as to all of the people who were concerned about ME over my finding her. I kept feeling guilty because I didn't feel it was right for me to get this attention--this time is supposed to be about my brother. But I think it helped to have people talk to me about it. They said that there was a reason that I was the one that found her, better me than my brother. I have not slept much at all since, maybe 3-4 hours each night--not well rested sleep either. I keep seeing her in the bathtub when I close my eyes. I constantly relive that day over and over in my head. I've been crying a lot and have lost my appetite (which is returning slowly). Friends and family are extremely worried about my well being and constantly were telling me that I needed to go to counseling. I did call and got into one session yesterday and I am going to one tomorrow. The therapist told me that everything I was doing was normal, so to cry, spend some time alone and see the images that pop into my head and to make sure I deal with them and not supress them. So we'll see.

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Chiscrochetcrazy Experienced

Chiscrochetcrazy

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Oh my gosh that is heartbreaking :cry I'm a type 1 diabetic and that scares my family to think about that happening , my blood sugar goes low sometimes so fast.Gosh let me know what you will be doing and I will try to help :hug Please know I'm praying for all for you :hug

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antara Enthusiast

antara

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Teresa, I'm so sorry. :hug I can't even imagine what that must have been like. What do you think of doing a comfortghan for your brother? I'd be happy to send a few squares, if you think that's a good idea.

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mythunderbird Experienced

mythunderbird

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teresa, how ya doing honey, you want me to make some squares too, i think that would be a good thing to make. maybe in olivias and his favorite colors, what are they hon, let us help you please. think what you would like, i am so glad you were able to give the baby something to sleep with in heaven. if i can do anything at all, please let me know alright? i am also worried about you. pm me or e-mail me or when your on go to aim, any way possible so i know your alright. sending :hug :hug :hug :hug to you and your family. keeping you all in my prayers:manyheart :manyheart :manyheart

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jacqui Apprentice

jacqui

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I am so deeply sorry for what your going through, the hardest thing is to go through grief and still try to keep things 'normal' for the family. Take time for you and be kind to yourself eventually the hurt lessens but it never goes away, you just learn to live with it. :hug :hug :hug :hug :hug :hug :hug :hug :manyheart from Jacqui in Australia.

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goldi316 Enthusiast

goldi316

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I am so sorry this has happened, Teresa. :hug:hug:hug for you and your family, and especially your brother. A comfortghan sounds like it might be a good choice, in his and Olivia's favorite colors as someone else suggested. Please let us know, and I will pledge a couple of squares for it. And here's more :hug:hug:hug:hug for you.

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yarnlover66 Rising Star

yarnlover66

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Olivia's favorite color was shades of purple. There were 57 plants/flowers at the funeral yesterday and the majority of them were purples and white. It was beautiful.

 

A comfortghan is a wonderful idea. The squares can be sent to me and I can put them together for my brother. Please make them 12 inches and in shades of purple. I could use white to put them together. I just saw one that crochet dude did with variegated blocks and used white to connect the squares. It is pretty.

 

t.kahler@mchsi.com for my address

 

Thank you so much!!

Teresa

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faithpa76 Community Regular

faithpa76

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Teresa, I'm so sorry, your family has my deepest sympathy - my mother was diabetic and I can't count the number of times either my dad or I found her unconcious, it's amazing how quickly blood sugar can drop. You have my thoughts and prayers.

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donnalynn2 Experienced

donnalynn2

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Oh my goodness. I am so sorry for your loss. That's a horrible thing to go through. I can't imagine having to see what you did. Sounds like you could use a prayer shawl too! :)

 

I don't know about your brother. In my experience men deal with these things a lot differently than women. I really don't know what would help him at a time like this.

 

If there is ANYTHING I can do to help please let me know! I'll make anything you need!

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