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Christy.lee1989

Ever had those people that doesn't appreciate what u make?

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So I'm not sure if this goes here or not, if not please tell me or if someone can move it for me...

 

I have a rant, so sorry. EDIT long rant, very sorry!

 

But have u ever had people that just don't appreciate what u make them? I'm like dude, hand made, crochet or knitted items, they aren't cheap and they take s lot of time to finish, and u just don't care.

 

I had this one parent I babysit for, she was going to have a baby boy and she asked me if I could crochet or knit her some baby items. She doesn't have a lot of money, and neither do I, so I tell her sure, but since I know u are in a pinch, don't worry about paying me, we are fine. So I go on to make booties, hats, scratch mittens. My mom sews her a blanket and and I crochet one. Had a good bit of things made. And one thing I love about making things for others is that look on their face when they see it and they love it. It makes me happy to see them happy and love what I make, but she was just like oh ok. And took it, didn't seem happy or interested in it at all. So baby born and never do I see her son with the things I made her. So I renpcently had one of my neighbors that also knows her, tell me that she gave everything I made her for freakin free, to her for her soon to be grandson, said she hated them and the way they looked on her son, said they look too Amish cause it's home made and doesn't want her son to wear them, so she gave them away!!!!

 

Urg, it makes me so mad. Just cause it's home made, u say it looks Amish? They were good things, not Amish looking things. (Not that there is anything wrong with that! But these were like normal, everyday looking items I knew were her style she buys her other children) It makes me so mad that people doesn't realise how much it cost us and how much time it takes for us to make things. I have tendinitis in my thumb and it hurts sometimes when I crochet but I still love to crochet, so there is pain involved in making things too! And I have had this happen befor, someone just literally throw something I made away, like a blanket I made and various things. It almost makes me just want to give up and say I'm not making things for anyone anymore, but then I see something and I'm like, awe, so and so would love this. Anyone else have something like this happen? Doesn't it just make u mad?

 

I'm currently making some things for my cousin who lives out of state. Her and her boyfriend had an unplanned pregnancy and she asked me to make her son some things. Due November so I'm making some nice warm things for him. Thankfully I know she won't do this to me cause I have made her things before and she still uses them. That's what I like to hear, oh u remember this u made me some 10 years ago, I still use/have it. But sometimes I just get mad.

Edited by Christy.lee1989
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Oh we have all gone thru this.  Someone on here went to visit a friend and found the afghan she made nailed up on a window in the garage.  Some have been used as dog beds, we all have our stories.

 

I found things I made and given as gifts still in the boxes.  I have been told after I worked hard on something that they do not like homemade things.

 

So they are the people you do not do anything for, ever again.  It doesn't help to say something, because they have no idea how hard or long you worked on something.  They do not appreciate the beauty and thoughtfulness of the gift.

 

Count it as a lesson and move on.

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Glad you ranted!  I appreciate it.  It irks me, too.  What irks me even more is when you've made something for someone that also either crochets and knits and they don't appreciate what you made for them!  But, for every one of those unappreciative people, there are 10 more that love what you do!  That's why we do what we do .... for those 10.

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The answer to the whole problem: Make lots of things for charity;They love and appreciate every thing they get.

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True ansept. I've been thinking about making Some things for charity, but I'm not quite sure where to give things to. I asked my local hospital about baby items cause I love making booties and hats for babies, but they said they aren't accepting them cause they have too many regulars donating me now. So I'm not sure where to donate things if I make them. Where do most people donate items?

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I don't know of a shelter in my area, but I was looking online and I found this website that takes hat and scarf donations for our troops, wounded warriors and vets. They say u can place a small letter on the item with your email if u want and they can send u a thank u if they have time. I think I really want to do that one.

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Yep, Christy, your situation sounds very familiar.  There are a number of people on my list of acquaintances, friends or relatives that are no longer recipients of hand crafted items from my studio.  

 

However, I too have been doing the charity thing for a number of years.  Here are just a couple of suggestions for gifting locations.   Contact Hospitals to see if they would be interested in preemie items (hat, mitts, cocoons), half-blankets (like lapghans), baby receiving things and, sadly, many hospitals (even funeral homes) are always in need of burial gowns and/or blankets for babies.  Nursing homes are terrific places for bed jackets, lapghans, walker bags and wraps of all kinds.  Even glass cozies and coasters are appreciated.  Bed socks are pretty popular too.  

 

Toys go over big with police and fire departments as do blankies to give away to children at risk .  Super bright colors seem to be most popular.  Veterans homes are great places to drop off half-blankets and "men colored" shawls, hats and bed socks.  Often I will just fill up a plastic bag with fingerless mitts, hats, mittens, scarves, slippers and cowls and give them to a local charity thrift or bargain shop for them to give away or sell.  If there is a food pantry affiliated with a local church or church group they ALWAYS love receiving anything for anybody especially teens (shawlettes, fingerless mitts, fashion scarves, boleros, funky hats, etc.)  Teens are often not the focus of families that are struggling so it's great for them to have some things that are "cooooooool"   to add to the cart.  Ask local social services or police departments if there is a women's/children shelter anywhere nearby that could use some blankets, sweaters, or what ever.  You won't be able to drop them off personally but the police or social worker can take them and drop them off for you.

 

I tend to crochet all sorts of items and then bag them up and pass them around every six months or so.  

 

Hope some of these suggestions will help.  

 

Barbara

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Thank you Barbara, I didn't even think of the police department or nursing home. I have asked my local hospital many times and they always say they are not accepting new items cause they have too many regular donators that make everything they need, so sadly that's not an option. But thanks again!

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I'm sorry this happened to you. Sadly, it has probably happened to all of us, even "seasoned" crocheters (in other words: us "old poops" that have crocheted for decades on end! LOL).

I'm not quite sure why the person you gifted to would refer your crochet gifts to being "too Amish looking" as the Amish make beautiful articles with yarn, among other things.

One tip for in the future you may try, whenever you are asked to make something, ask about style and color preferences. Especially colors. They make a huge difference.

 

Another great place to donate is a nursing home or hospice. Acrylic lap-ghans, wheelchair-ghans, shawlettes and *bed runners (that lay on the foot of a bed to keep feet warm) are great and not too large of projects. I sew a 1"x2" twill tape- blank name tag on a corner so their name can be written on it with a permanent ink pen, then include a little tag tied on with care instructions. I have not made any myself ,but, acrylic, fingerless gloves do wonders for the infirmed. Some always have cold hands.

You'd be amazed at how grateful patients are at care places. It is such a great feeling to give and I hope your endeavors work wonders for you.

Edited by ReniC
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The sad part about this is she made a request for hand made items and then was quite rude about how she handled the gift when she received them.  Why ask for something you aren't going to use?

 

Like others I limit the gifts I make to try to try to make sure they go to people who will use the items.  I know I myself don't wear wear much in the way of sweaters or even mittens anymore, I've always found them uncomfortable on my skin.  I have made myself some shawls and scarves with softer yarn, but for the most part, I don't wear much in the way of yarn.  For gloves/mittens I've moved to fleece and I tend to lean towards other types of heavier materials for my winter wear.  My Mom used to insist on making me sweaters and I know they weren't not inexpensive to make in either time or expense, but my skin would get so irritated when I wore them, it just wasn't something I did.  She also wouldn't accept not making me something.  As I got older, I learned a substitution trick of finding other projects I'd prefer for her to make.  Now DH and I have house items we really like and her time isn't wasted.  Her grandkids all have beautiful afghans instead of sweaters they won't wear either.  Those afghans will last for years and I know in speaking to several of the kids they were used all through college and are still in use in post college life.  She has also moved to sewing fleeces sports items for the kids which are hugely popular. 

 

There are some people who just don't like hand made items and I don't waste my time making them stuff.  However, for others it is a matter of matching the project to the person to get a fit.

 

As for where to donate checking with local churches and your local governments is always a good start.  Schools sometimes also have connections with the social service agencies in the areas that might need assistance.  I know there are sometimes mitten drives in this area that various knitting/crochet groups get involved with to provide students with cold weather gear.  They also sometimes know the agencies that deal with the local homeless family populations, too. 

 

Sometimes it takes some time to find the project that works for you.  My main project is the doll donation project I do for the local tech high school holiday toy drive.  The tech school business students run the project and coordinate with local charities to provide toys.  I had tried a couple of charities before I landed on this one as being the best option for my skills.  Prior to this past winter I had also been donating shawls to a Church prayer shawl ministry.  I've gotten away from that, but at some point would like to get my schedule back to contributing to that again.

 

You also may try talking to the social worker at the hospital.  While the hospital may not need anything, the social worker at the hospital may also know of other charities in the area in need. 

 

As someone mentioned shelters often do need help, but especially with the domestic abuse shelters, keeping the locations secure is a huge issue, so finding a social worker, someone in your area that deals with social services, etc. can make that connection easier.  You can also look online.  I was able to find contacts for shelters even out of state when a family member needed help.  That may give you an idea of shelters in your area and how to make contact.    I'm not sure where you live, but with school starting back in September , in this area, I know there are woman already starting to work on mittens, hats, and scarves to make sure they are available for distribution as needed in the late fall.  It may be hot now, but it takes a bit to build up a supply.

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The thing is she helped buy two skeins of yarn that she wanted me to use, saying those colors she loved. And she sees my work all the time, I've crochet my cousins baby's booties and hats and she has seen them before and said she loved them and they are beautiful, so it just confuses me as to how she doesn't like them.

 

And thanks everyone for the tips on donating. I love making blankets, I'm actually working on my dads Christmas present now, it's a blanket. I sewed him a blanket about 10 years ago and he still uses it, so I really wanted to crochet him one, so that's my current project, but I think I would love making some bed runners and smaller blankets like lapghans and wheelchair ghans. And last year I found I love making fingerless gloves, so that would work out perfect! i could also check with my aunt closer to time when I get finished with the blanket, about if the church takes donations for things.

 

Thanks everyone for the ideas, u guys have made me happier now that I know I have a lot of options for donating things. I love to make things, when I'm sitting down watching tv I always love to crochet it knit something. Makes me feel less lazy, hah. I recently went to goodwill, and I don't go there a whole lot, but I found out that sometimes they have yarn there! They had two big bags of yarn there,$5 apiece and I got both, so I have a good bit of yarn I can play around with and make some items to donate.

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Don't feel so bad. I found out after making things all my lifetime (I'm 64 now) for my father that he doesn't like handmade items! I was stunned! Apparently he equated handmade with cheap, not with love and caring. He grew up very poor, so he thought handmade meant you "had" to make gifts that were not really worthy. Jeez.

 

I changed his mind. I made him a scarf in a nice warm brown that exactly matched the color of his favorite leather jacket that he wore all the time. He finally figured it out, and wore the scarf the entire time I was there. He loved it!

 

As for donating your crochet, in my area, the closest Veteran's Hospital has a contact person, and she said the Vets love receiving blankets (no bigger than the dimensions of the bed top) and lap robes.

 

Also our Nursing Home Residents adore receiving an afghan, wrap or lapghan. They actually brag to each other when any of them have been chosen to receive a handmade item!

 

I've read that many pet clinics and hospitals like pet beds and mats. Our local one doesn't want any. We were told the dogs and cats get their nails caught in the sts. I wonder why my sisters dog and my cats don't get their nails caught? Huh!

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Of course! We all know somebody like that (even if that one makes even less sense than usual..."too Amish?") :reyes

 

I have a niece who loves handmade anything. Also, the nursing home suggestions are great. I take rosaries to ours often, because even though they always have a few of the mass-produced ones, people like to get something that reminds them other people care. It's the same thing with hand warmers and lapghans. Even fleece remnants with crocheted edgings are popular. If you have a half-yard fleece remnant, you can edge it and put buttons on one short edge and it makes a capelet in no time.

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Amish looking?  Really??!?  Have you SEEN the handmade quilts that they sell in Pennsylvania in the Amish areas?  They are BEYOND compare, and worth every penny.

 

Anyway!  :)  I've always been really afraid to give crocheted gifts to those I don't know VERY well, for this very reason.  Luckily, the worst reaction I've gotten so far was no reaction at all (no thank you card or call for a mailed crocheted baby gift), and when at a craft fair, asking me why they should pay this much for a hat I made when they can get it "at Walmart" for a lot cheaper.  I asked her to go buy one and bring it to show me, and I would reimburse her.  She never came back.  ;)

 

I recently made a star-shaped afghan (Frank ORandle's mini Galaxy of Change) for my 8 year old nephew, and he went BANANAS!!  :D  He actually cried when he realized I had MADE it for him with my own hands.  Totally worth it.

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I agree, I haven't seen a whole lot of things the Amish makes, but what I have seen they are beautiful. But I guess she hasn't seen anything made by them. Maybe she's thinking old fashioned or something. Still, I think things Amish makes is pretty.

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My friend came to visit me once and she liked a minion hat I had in my gift drawer. She had to have it for her grandchild who lived with her. She told me her husband threw it away. No more crocheted things for her.

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I stopped making things for most members of my extended family after several different people did the same thing - they would ask for something specific and I'd make it and mail it and never hear a word. I started having to ask my sister (who lives nearby) if they'd gotten the package. I never got thank yous or anything. I once spent two months making my cousin a mantilla and rosary. I even asked if she'd like a mantilla so I knew she'd use one. I hand-dyed it with tea. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever made. I put it in the mail, so excited to hear what she thought. Crickets. I finally asked my sister if she got it and the response was, "Oh. Yeah. She liked it." And that was it. I cried. 

 

Now I just make things for people that I know for a fact will appreciate the hard work and love that goes into every stitch.

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Yes, I HAVE been in that situation of being an "unappreciated giver"--too many times--from relatives and "friends"!  That's why I've gone to donations!  My crochet club makes afghans for Veterans' hospitals, prayer shawls for our local Hospice, and hats for any groups that need them (I was especially interested to read, here, that fingerless gloves are appreciated by patients!)

Happy crocheting! 

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