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tiniree

How to "No, you can't have it!" politely?

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I started an afghan using, for the first time, really bright colors.  It was intended to be mine all along.  I love it and how it is turning out.

 

The problem is that I have been sending progress pics to my sister.  At first she just said said things like, "Hey it looks great!", or "Really like it!".  But then the comments started changing to blatant "Gimme" pleas.

 

Last  night I was thinking, "Hey, her birthday is in Sept.  I could give it to her then."  But this morning when I got up I realized something:  I had no excitement to work on it.  The thought of giving it away made me sad.

 

How do I politely and subtly tell her that "It's MINE ........ ALL MINE without sounding selfish?????

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Maybe just tell her firmly "this one is for me". If you think you want to make her one later, tell her you'll do that.

But if you do not want to make her one, just tell her this one is for you. I don't think you can be very subtle---just tell her straight out.

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Honesty is the best policy.  Don't let her get attached.

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as a seagull once said... "Mine"

 

Tell you you appreciate that she really likes it and you'd love to make her one of her very own sometime..just not now!

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 Let her knoiw this one is for you. If she still wants one offer her the pattern. If she doresn't crochet offer to make it for her later. If its a matter of cost offer to do it as a consignment piece. She purchases the

yarn and pays you to make it.

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I'd just let her know that you're making it for yourself. If you're feeling generous down the line, maybe have her pick out some colors and you can make her an afghan at a later date.

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Stop sending her updates.

Ha ha ha!  That's what my husband said :clap

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I spent 30 years always giving away whatever I was making at the time because "somebody liked it." Nobody cared that I liked it! Now I make a LOT of stuff for me. After all, that's the reason I learned to crochet. Other people can learn too!!!

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Ahhhh Sisters! We love our sisters don't we?

 

Just tell her that the afghan is intended for your home. She will understand that she has no real right to demand you give it to her.

I am sure she is in love with the piece and it is very flattering that she is asking for it, but maybe she is just expressing her admiration and really does not expect you to hand it over.

 

Forget giving her your ghan as a birthday gift. Instead, finish your ghan and then wrap up in it as you make one for her for Christmas, in colors that will look great in her home.

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I agree with everyone else. This is for you and you deserve to do something for yoursefl. You can always offer to make her one at a later time or hint around that if she really wants one, you will surprise her.  

 

LI Roe

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I agree just tell her this is for you.

 

My sister is constantly asking me for the Flapper Bride Doll, I tell her that when I am finished with it, or I will leave it to her in my will..  She is 6 years older than me.

 

I have told my family outright that I will make them one thing they ask for, so make it good.

 

I also agree you should stop giving her updates.

 

The reason you are not having fun making it anymore, is because you are feeling guilty about wanting to keep it.  Stop that right now. :angry 

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Why don't you just tell her the truth?  Let her know how excited you are to finally be making something for yourself.  If you wish to make her an afghan later - go for it.  If you don't - then don't even bring it up.

 

It's an awful feeling when that excitement goes away.  Just be honest.  Anything less is not being true to yourself.  You're not a slave to the desires of others - especially when it comes to what you make with your own God given talent.

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I agree with others, stop the updates. My mom is bad about that, she always asks me if what I'm making is hers.  Now when I am working on something she likes I immediatly show her and say, "See what I am making myself"  If she wants something similar she needs to buy the yarn and I will make it for her.  I think the honest straight forward approach is best.  May smart a little but eventually she will understand.

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I started an afghan using, for the first time, really bright colors.  It was intended to be mine all along.  I love it and how it is turning out.

 

The problem is that I have been sending progress pics to my sister.  At first she just said said things like, "Hey it looks great!", or "Really like it!".  But then the comments started changing to blatant "Gimme" pleas.

 

Last  night I was thinking, "Hey, her birthday is in Sept.  I could give it to her then."  But this morning when I got up I realized something:  I had no excitement to work on it.  The thought of giving it away made me sad.

 

How do I politely and subtly tell her that "It's MINE ........ ALL MINE without sounding selfish?????

Offer her the pattern to crochet her very own!

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Thank you everyone for your help with this situation.  I have always been the one in the family to try not to "rock the boat".  I really do love and want to keep this afghan.  And I AM :woo This one is just for me!

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Good for you!!!!!

 

What did you tell her?

 

Haven't said anything to her yet due to our schedules.  But when I do, I will just tell her that "I'm glad she likes it, but this one is for me!"

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